Well, unless you've been hiding under a rock somewhere for the past week, you've probably heard that the Playstation 5 launched on November 12. Similarly, you probably heard that release was nothing short of an abject failure. The new, next-generation console sold out from all major retailers within minutes and is now virtually impossible to find anywhere. How on earth a major company like Sony (and Microsoft, who experienced the same problems with their new Xbox models) could have years to prepare for the release of a product they must have known would be in incredibly high demand, then fail to deliver on such a massive scale truly boggles the mind.
Eventually, at some point in the near or distant future, I will finally get my hands on a PS5, but for now I must wait like the rest of the hundreds of thousands of peasants who failed to successfully pre-order a console this week. Until then, all I can do is dream. And while I'm dreaming, I figured I'd write a blog about video games.
Over the past few months, I've been trying to make my way through the gigantic backlog of Playstation games that I either never touched or never finished. One such game was a Playstation 3 game called "Playstation All-Stars Battle Royale." Originally released in 2012, "All-Stars" is a fighting game featuring various characters from Playstation franchises, such as "God of War," "Uncharted" and "Infamous," among others. The characters fight each other through a handful of 2-D battle arenas until only one is left standing. If you've ever played Nintendo's "Super Smash Bros." series, it's basically the same thing.
All in all, it's not a terrible game, but it certainly feels outdated in 2020. Here is the original roster of characters:
While I was familiar with many of the characters in the original roster, there were a few that I didn't recognize at all. As I played, I couldn't help but wonder what the roster would look like if the series was rebooted today. Some of the original cast should certainly make a return appearance, as "All-Stars" included some of Playstation's most iconic franchises. Here are the five characters I'd keep:
Big Daddy (BioShock)
Big Daddy remains one of the most iconic-looking villains in recent video game history, with his signature helmet and drill. His brute force and sheer power make him a significant threat in any type of close combat brawl. Throw in some tag team attacks with his faithful Little Sisters and you've got a powerhouse combatant that must be included on the roster.
Kratos (God of War)
Kratos is arguably the face of the "Playstation exclusive." His "God of War 4" received nearly universal praise from critics and fans alike, cementing his spot in a would-be "Playstation All-Stars" sequel. His violent style of combat would undoubtedly make him a top choice for gamers. The inclusion of his new companion, Atreus, would be an obvious update from the previous game, and would make for some impressive team attacks and special maneuvers.
Nathan Drake (Uncharted)
The less M-rated face of Playstation is none other than Nathan Drake, the ultra-popular treasure hunter from the "Uncharted" series. His ability to mix hand-to-hand combat with firearms and explosives would make him one of the more versatile fighters in a game such as this. It would also be nice to use the "Uncharted 4" model of the character, as opposed to the slightly younger version used in the original "All-Stars" game.
Ratchet & Clank (Ratchet & Clank)
The quirky companionship is about to receive the Playstation 5 treatment, with "Ratchet & Clank: Rift Apart" set to release in 2021, so adding them to a potential "All-Stars" reboot is a no-brainer. The ability to use both characters simultaneously would set them apart from other fighters, and their futuristic space-shooter style would be unique from other more realistic characters with similar skill sets.
Sackboy (LittleBigPlanet)
Sackboy is perhaps the most lovable character ever to grace the screens of a Playstation game, and his ability to delve into the LittleBigPlanet "Imagisphere" to conjure up any fathomable skill could breed an endless plethora of options. Spunky, goofy and limitlessly agile, Sackboy is one of the most underrated heroes from the original game, and he's looking to do damage in a next-gen iteration of "All-Stars."
New Characters
After much thought and contemplation, I came up with 15 brand-new fighters to include in an updated roster. Here they are for your consideration, in alphabetical order:
The red-haired heroine from the 2017 smash hit "Horizon Zero Dawn" is a must for the "Playstation All-Stars" sequel. Her expert marksmanship with ranged weapons, combined with her proclivity for setting traps, would make her a versatile threat in a game like this. She also has upper-echelon agility and speed, making her an instant frontrunner the most popular new character. Her override skill and Focus tool would also make for an interesting and robust combat moveset.
The wisecracking, sharpshooting leader of the Hunter class would certainly be an out-of-this-world addition to the roster. Give the man a couple space-pistols and let him hurl sarcastic comments at his opponents while zipping across the screen on his Sparrow bike or using his Ghost companion in a fit of explosive mayhem. I'd love to whoop on some competition with the legend known as Cayde-6.
Probably the most glaring old-school omission from the original roster is the genetically modified animal known as Crash Bandicoot. Crash originally spun his way into pop culture in the mid-90s as what some might call the original breakout star for Playstation. Throughout the years, he has appeared in a variety of roles, including go-kart racing. He's Sony's answer to Mario, essentially. There is no question that he deserves a spot on the new roster.
Another franchise conspicuous by its absence in the original "All-Stars" game is "Mass Effect." The alien shoot-em-up saga is getting a next-gen remaster in 2021, so including Shepard should be completely timely. Armed with an Omni Tool and a generous selection of guns, Shepard would be a slick new combatant in the battle royale. One unique feature would be the option to play as either gender, as is the case in the "Mass Effect" games; players would be able to choose between the male and female version of the protagonist in the character selection menu.
"Detroit: Become Human" is one of the most fascinating (albeit profane) video games I have ever played. It follows the story of Connor, a conflicted AI police investigator, as he hunts down deviant androids. The complex storytelling was fascinating and Connor became one of the most interesting characters I have ever come across in a Playstation game. How, exactly, he would fit into a fighting game such as "Playstation All-Stars" would be equally fascinating, but he is deadly accurate with a pistol and a tough target to take down. I say we give Connor a shot and see how everything plays out.
Many gamers would argue that "The Last of Us" is the best Playstation game ever made. Despite its divisive sequel, which was released earlier this year, Ellie has cemented herself as one of the cornerstones of Sony-exclusive video games. Her ability to survive in the brutal post-apocalyptic world at such a young age is truly a marvel and, if you've ever played either of the games, you know that she is a girl you would not want to mess with. Armed with a knife, machete, rifle or Molotov cocktail, Ellie's M-rated violence would make her a force to be reckoned with. It would also be a nice touch to include her TLOU father figure Joel in some of her special moves.
In August 2020, "Fall Guys" became the most downloaded Playstation+ game of all time. If nothing else, that makes the jellybean-like character used in the game deserving of a "goofball" spot on our imaginary roster. Perhaps the Fall Guy would be akin to Jigglypuff in "Super Smash Bros." Nobody uses her, but it's kind of funny that she's included, anyway. I imagine that the Fall Guy would have a bunch of bodyslam-style attacks, and its special move might be something like a stampede of other Fall Guys that comes to trample opponents. I don't know. Might be funny.
Toss a coin to your Witcher! Let's add Geralt of Rivia to "Playstation All-Stars 2." An expert swordsman with superhuman strength and speed, plus heightened senses and parkour skills to boot, Geralt would be a powerhouse combatant. He can take down the mightiest of beasts, but how would he match up against other superstars of the console? There is only one way to find out.
One of Playstation's biggest releases of 2020 was "Ghost of Tsushima," an open-world action/adventure tale of a samurai named Jin Sakai on his journey to protect feudal Japan. His stealth and ninja expertise would be a blast in a battle royale environment, and I can imagine some epic hand-to-hand showdowns between Jin and other new characters like Aloy and Geralt.
Marston is one of the deadliest gunslingers in the American West. A crack-shot with any type of firearm, the scar-faced outlaw should absolutely ride his way into "All-Stars 2." He could utilize any number of companions for team-up special moves - most likely his son, Jack, or RDR 2's Arthur Morgan - and his "Dead Eye" capability would make for some truly devastating knockouts.
Lara Croft has been a Playstation mainstay since 1996. Her legacy is undisputed and her exploration and combat-survival skills are second to none. Croft got a more realistic portrayal in the 2013 series reboot, adding a climbing axe and a bow and arrow to her repertoire and locking her in as a video game icon for years to come. Naturally, she would become an instant rival of fellow treasure hunter Nathan Drake; their similar skill sets would set up some classic battles in "All-Stars 2."
The keyblade-wielding hero of "Kingdom Hearts" has etched a spot into JRPG-style gaming for nearly 20 years now. Sora, a boy with a tragic backstory and friendships that span multiple dimensions, has slayed more than his fair share of baddies and conquered some formidable villains over the years but has yet to be featured in a combat game like "Playstation All-Stars." He's good with a sword and an expert magician. There's no way you'd be able to put Sora in a game without having some cameos from Donald, Goofy and King Mickey, either, and that's not a bad thing. May your heart be your guiding key, Sora!
Sony has bent over backwards since 2018 to proclaim Spider-man as Sony's ultimate "exclusive" character. That means Peter Parker won't be appearing in any solo games on Xbox or Nintendo anytime in the near future. Spider-man belongs to Sony, so Spider-man has to be included in "Playstation All-Stars 2." The web-slinger would almost unquestionably become the most-used fighter in the game, and his speed and agility would make him a tough out against any of his opposition. Taking into account his ability to thwip ranged attacks from all the way across the arena and the capability to swing out of danger in an instant, and you've got yourself a top contender and maybe the most powerful character on the proposed roster.
Vaas is the utterly psychotic (and extremely foul-mouthed) villain of "Far Cry 3." Take it from me when I say that this man verifiably has no conscience. He's a drug dealer and a murderer, capable of doing terrible things to anyone who crosses him. Vaas would be a primary antagonist on our "All-Stars 2" wishlist, likely squaring off in Story Mode against fellow island dwellers like Nathan Drake and Lara Croft. He's a madman with impressive weapon accuracy and a desire to blow stuff up. Violence is this man's middle name and he can't wait to get to the middle of the action.
Finally, I submit another idea for the "goofball" category. Why not include Vault-Tec's mascot, Vault Boy? He's the cartoonish face of the "Fallout" series, often shown performing tasks in tutorials and skill trees, and is quite frequently seen giving a smile and a thumbs-up. Portraying him in his typical, animated, 2-D form, in contrast to the remainder of the 3-D cast, would be fun, and there is a great likelihood that his finishing move would include some form of nuclear blast, so that's too glorious to pass up.
*****
There you have it! That's my proposed roster if they ever reboot "Playstation All-Stars." I would 10/10 buy that game, so if anybody has connections to Sony and can hook me up, I'd gladly pitch it to them.
What do you think? Who did I get right? Who did I leave out? Feel free to leave a comment below, find me on Facebook or follow me on Twitter (here and here).
