64 things I love about Disneyland

Sixty-four years ago today, on July 17, 1955, Walt Disney stepped to a microphone and uttered these immortal words:

"To all who come to this happy place, welcome. Disneyland is your land. Here, age relives fond memories of the past, and here, youth may savor the challenge and promise of the future. Disneyland is dedicated to the ideals, the dreams and the hard facts that have created America, with the hope that it will be a source of joy and inspiration to all the world."

All these years later, Disneyland maintains its reputation as being "The Happiest Place on Earth" - somewhere people can go to have fun, escape the worries of the world and, even if temporarily, become a kid again.

It is my all-time favorite vacation and one of my favorite places in the entire world. So today, in honor of the park's birthday, I came up with a list of 64 of the very many things that I love about Disneyland. (For the record, this list is only about Disneyland - not California Adventure, and not Star Wars: Galaxy's Edge, which I haven't been to, at the time of writing.) I've tried the best I could to put the numbers in order as if you were walking in a loop through the park from entrance to exit. Close your eyes and come with me on a journey. Actually, on second thought, keep your eyes open. I actually want you to be able to read this blog.

Anyway, here we go:

1. Ball Road, Katella Avenue and Harbor Boulevard

Ok, so this one isn't technically inside the park, but when you see street signs for Ball, Katella or Harbor, that means you're only a couple blocks away from Disney Way. The excitement is real!

2. The Ticketing Area

The first of many, many lines to come... But you can't help but be excited while waiting to get inside Disneyland for a day full of adventure!

3. Magic Morning

The "Magic Morning" is an opportunity to get into the park an hour before the rest of the peasants that surround you. It's a great opportunity to hit up some rides that typically have longer lines later on in the day. Make the most of this time!

4. The Mickey Flowers Photo Op

What would a trip to Disneyland be without a classic tourist photo in front of the flowerbeds below the train station? Say cheese!

5. "Here you leave Today and enter the World of Yesterday, Tomorrow and Fantasy."

This iconic sign sits above visitors' heads as they walk below the bride that leads from the entrance to Main Street U.S.A.

6. Retro Attraction Posters

Immediately after passing beneath the plaque in #5, visitors will see posters advertising Disneyland's most popular attractions on both sides of the brick walls below the railroad bridge. The unique art style evokes a sense of nostalgia and nods to the park's historic roots.

7. The Music on Main Street

Upon entering Main Street, park-goers are greeted by the musical stylings of Disneyland's classic soundtrack - a ragtime mixture of a 1950's big band, ukulele and xylophone.

8. Mickey Ears

Gotta give a shoutout to one of the most recognizable pieces of apparel in the entire world. Who hasn't donned one of these caps, complete with their embroidered name on the back?

9. Main Street Candy Shops

There are a lot of delicious treats to be found on Main Street. My personal favorite are the bags of sour candy from Goofy Candy Co.

10. Great Moments with Mr. Lincoln

While certainly not one of the most popular attractions in the park, "Mr. Lincoln" was a technological marvel at the time it was created, and the animatronics hold up to this date. The first time I actually remember seeing him stand up during his speech, I think my jaw dropped. Did not see that coming! It's also a nice place to beat the heat and give your legs a rest if you're in the area later on in the day.

11. The Walt and Mickey Statue

At the end of Main Street is the glorious statue of the creator, himself, alongside his lovable rodent pal. Walt and Mickey stand, hand in hand, overlooking the park with watchful eyes.

12. Hidden Mickey Hunting

There are hundreds of "Hidden Mickeys" around the park, camouflaged in buildings, queues, architecture and all throughout the attractions. How many can you find?

13. Sleeping Beauty's Castle

While I've never really been one to go out of my way to go inside the castle, I can't deny that it is one of the most beloved buildings anywhere in North America.

14. FastPasses and the MaxPass

Back in my day, we actually had to wait in line if we wanted to go on the attractions! The development of the "FastPass" ticket in 1999 truly changed the way that we experience amusement parks. Essentially, it's a legal way of cutting in line. Grab yourself a FastPass and come back within a given time to have access to a shorter line and a minimized wait time. The roll-out of the MaxPass feature made FastPasses available through your smartphone, meaning that my brothers and I no longer need to run all the way across the park to reserve a time for a far-away attraction. Now, you can book a FastPass for Space Mountain while taking the kids through Toontown with the Disneyland mobile app. Throw in the fact that the MaxPass gives you access to digital copies of any pictures of your party taken on rides or by Disneyland photographers and you've got yourself a real deal! The MaxPass comes with a daily fee, but it's incredibly worth it if you're planning on riding the biggest rides and if you want some high quality, professional photos to remember your vacation.

15. The New Star Tours

I loved the original Star Tours ride, but the changes that have been made in the past 10 years - namely, 3D technology and the addition of multiple ride combinations and on-screen locations - are a blast.

16. Buzz Lightyear Astro Blasters

Though its popularity has diminished since the arrival of its sister-park counterpart "Toy Story Midway Mania," Buzz's Astro Blasters remains a game-changer in terms of on-ride interactivity. Here are 10 tips for reaching a new high score!

17. Space Mountain Fast Passes

In terms of Disneyland attractions, this is the one most in need of a FastPass. That line takes forever if you're waiting stand-by. You've got to claim the FastPass early in the day because they'll always sell out in the afternoon, but you'll be glad if you can hop on Space Mountain a couple times without having to wait 90 minutes.

18. Captain EO / Honey, I Shrunk the Audience

Rest in Peace. These shows were so fun.

19. Sneak Previews

Although "Captain EO" and "Honey, I Shrunk the Audience" are no longer in operation, Disneyland will occasionally show sneak previews of upcoming movies in certain areas or theaters around the park. In recent years, I've seen special promotions of movies like "Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides," the live-action "Cinderella" and "Incredibles 2." If you're there during a time when they're showing something like that, make sure you go.

20. The Constant Smell of Churros

Churros. A must-have snack on any Disney trip.

21. Darth Vader and Stormtrooper Procession

If you're lucky, you'll see occasionally see Lord Vader and his minions march through Tomorrowland.

22. The .GIF of Darth Vader Riding the Astro Orbiter

23. The Sword in the Stone

Another classic photo-op. I've never pulled the sword from the stone, but one of my siblings did once. True story.

24. Short Lines at Pinocchio's Daring Journey and Snow White's Scary Adventures

Two scary rides located in the heart of a land meant for small children. You can almost always walk right onto either of these attractions at any point during the day.

25. "Driving" on Mr. Toad's Wild Ride

Mr. Toad is arguably the most fun ride to "drive," as the steering wheel isn't slowed down by mechanics like on Roger Rabit or the Teacups.

26. Going on Peter Pan - But Only Once

That line is way too long and way to slow to justify standing in multiple times. This is Destination #1 for most of my Magic Mornings. Get there before all the kiddos.

27. The Alice in Wonderland Music in Fantasyland

The "Unbirthday" song is one of the catchiest tunes in any Disney movie. That thing will get stuck in my head for hours after walking through Fantasyland, and I don't entirely mind.

28. Cranking the Wheel on the Teacups

Unlike the steering wheel on "Mr. Toad," you can't spin the teacups to your heart's content - and that's probably a good thing - but that won't ever stop me from trying.

29. "Sit-Down" Rides (Storybook Land Canal Boats, Finding Nemo Submarine Voyage, it's a small world, Pirates of the Caribbean)

While they aren't all the most exciting of attractions, it's occasionally nice to find a 10-minute ride where you can just sit down and take it easy.

30. Bigger, More Comfortable Seats on the Matterhorn

The Matterhorn was never my favorite ride, thanks in large part to the old bobsleds that were probably the most uncomfortable vehicles ever designed. They also gave you the awkward experience of sitting with another person in between your legs. Not great. Now, the Matterhorn bobsleds are bigger, wider and intended for individual riders in each seat, which is a much better time than what I grew up with.

31. Watching My Brother Eat a Turkey Leg

He really wanted one, so he bought it. Then he ate it. With his bare hands. It was a sight to behold.

32. it's a small world

I'll say it: I like the song. I think the ride is creative. I love that they've added classic Disney characters to it in recent years. In 2018, I got to see it decked out for Christmas, which was a first for me, and that was great, too. It also has a short line with a good deal of shade that moves faster than almost any other queue in the park. Can't complain about that!

33. Roger Rabbit's Car Toon Spin

This spinning ride through the narrow alleys of Toontown was added to Disneyland in 1994. It's, far and away, the best attraction in that area of the park and would, apparently, give you a great view of any extended family brawls that might break out.

34. Toontown Photo Ops

There are a bunch of fun spots to grab a picture, including the TNT factory, jail and the homes of many of your favorite cartoon characters. I always love snagging a pic with the dumbbell.

35. Big Thunder Mountain Railroad's Utah Theme

The ride itself is great; realizing that it was designed to resemble Southern Utah makes it even better.

36. Riding Thunder Mountain During a Fireworks Show

It happened by accident once. And it was glorious. Gotta time it just right, but if you can make it work, you won't be disappointed.

37. Rancho del Zocalo

I've eaten there a couple times. Food quality (it's not bad) and pricing (pretty typical) notwithstanding, that is a tremendous name for a restaurant.

38. The Fantasmic! Soundtrack

The final song of the show is particularly good.

39. Extremely Short Lines During Fantasmic!

If you've seen Fantasmic! once or twice, you've seen it a thousand times. While everyone else is standing around watching the show and blocking foot traffic, hit up Pirates of the Caribbean and the Haunted Mansion. If you don't mind potentially getting drenched late at night, it would be an ideal time for Splash Mountain, too.

40. New Orleans Square

New Orleans Square is possibly my favorite "land" in the park. I usually try to find at least a couple minutes during my visit to walk around and take in the sights and sounds of old school Louisiana.

41. The Smell of Pirates of the Caribbean

It's not the smell of dirty water. It's not the smell of dirty water. It's not the smell of dirty water.

42. The Addition of Jack Sparrow and Captain Barbosa

I suppose I'm somewhat of a traditionalist when it comes to stuff from my childhood. I don't like when they mess with the classics. But I do like what they've done by adding stuff from the "Pirates" movies to the Disneyland ride.

43. The Royal Street Bachelors

Whenever possible, I like to take some time to listen to the live music in New Orleans Square. It makes me miss playing my trumpet in the high school jazz band. Also, that is a sweet name for a music group.

44. Caricature Artists

In 2018, I finally did something I had always wanted to do: I got an artist to draw a caricature of me. The results were incredible.

45. The Blue Bayou

It's expensive as heck and, in my experience, generally way too much food for a single person to eat in one sitting. But it is one of the most immersive experiences you could ever have when dining out.

46. Re-riding the Haunted Mansion

My sister and I went to Disneyland with our mom for our "senior trip." She was graduating from high school and I was graduating from college. It was one of the best vacations I have ever taken. We worked that park, day and night, for the entire trip. One of my favorite parts, believe it or not, was going on the Haunted Mansion a whopping six times. It has never been one of my favorite attractions, but on this particular vacation, we lucked out and got some really short lines for it. We spent each new run looking for new details and hidden trivia on the ride. It really was a highlight of the trip for me.

47. When Splash Mountain Isn't Undergoing Refurbishment

Along with Indiana Jones, Splash Mountain is one of the rides that seems to have be most frequently closed down during my trips. So, when it's not being worked on, it's easily one of my favorite attractions - especially when I can manage not to get my shoes and socks wet.

48. The Mini-Drops in Splash Mountain

Yeah, the big drop is awesome, but there are a couple other drops in Splash Mountain that are completely underrated.

49. Winnie the Pooh's Permanently Short Line

Location, location, location. Winnie the Pooh got the short end of the stick, as far as park placement goes, but that practically guarantees that it won't be busy if you make it out to that corner of Critter Country.

50. The Swiss Family Robinson Easter Egg @ Tarzan's Treehouse

I'm an O.G. Swiss Family Robinson fan, so I was genuinely sad when I heard the treehouse was being re-themed. The Tarzan stuff is fine. My favorite part is definitely the phonograph that plays the "Swisskapolka."

51. Jungle Cruise Skippers

Honestly, I want this job.

52. Riding the Jungle Cruise at Night

A few years ago, I realized that I could only remember ever having ridden the Jungle Cruise during daylight hours. I decided to make a point to ride it after sundown, and I was pleasantly surprised. Riding the river under the cover of darkness almost made it feel like a completely different ride. Check it out if you get a chance.

53. The Indiana Jones Adventure Queue

I think this is one of the coolest queues in any theme park. It really helps guests feel like they are deep in the jungle of an Indiana Jones movie, and there are some fun aspects to the ride, like the "Do Not Pull" rope and the tourism video, to help make the wait more enjoyable. Also, #NeverForget these decoder cards they gave out when the ride first opened in 1995:

54. Sallah's Presence Throughout the Indiana Jones Ride

Having John Rhys-Davies lend his voice in his reprised role of Indy's friend Sallah is a great touch that makes the ride feel authentic.

55. Driving an Indiana Jones jeep

It's always an honor to land in the driver's seat.

56. Air Conditioning in the Enchanted Tiki Room

Like Fantasmic!, this isn't something you need to do every time you visit the park, but if you need to take a load off for half an hour and get some sweet relief from an air conditioner, this is a great place to do it.

57. Disneyland Pins

I'm by no means a hardcore pin collector, but I've got a few of them and I'd like to start an actual display for them one day.

58. The Dole Whip Float

Perhaps the best dessert ever invented. If you haven't had one, you need one. Quite simply, it is heaven on earth in a cup.

59. Cast Member Uniforms

I don't know what it is, but I love the uniforms that cast members wear, and I love that they're different, depending on which area of the park you're in. (My all-time favorites are the old Tower of Terror bellhop uniforms. Those things were awesome.)

60. Frozen Bananas

Second only to the Dole Whip, the frozen banana is a treat you've got to try while in Disneyland.

61. Character Autographs

At a certain age, you kind of grow out of this aspect of Disneyland, but the joy and excitement that these characters bring to young visitors is undeniable. I remember having an autograph book as a kid, and I always looked forward to getting new signatures with each trip to the park.

62. Main Street Parades

Here, again, is something that is good on occasion. They're a bit problematic because they clog up traffic and restrict paths to certain parts of the park, but they're fun presentations (especially at night, like the Main Street Electrical Parade). Years and years ago, I randomly got the chance to be part of one of the parades with my mom and siblings, which was most likely a once-in-a-lifetime experience. My parade buddy was Gideon from Pinocchio. Not my first choice of characters, but it was what it was.

63. Window Shopping on the Way Out

There's a lot of really cool stuff in those shops. Clearly, you can't buy most of it, but that doesn't mean you can't look.

64. Saving Money by Buying Stuff Online

Pro tip: Take a picture of the stuff you want and look for it at a discounted price online. A couple years ago, I saved myself $40 by buying a couple art books and a shirt from Amazon and Walmart after I got home.

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Surely, I could have made a much longer list of all the things I love about Disneyland, and surely I have forgotten or otherwise had to leave off others. What do you think? What are your favorite parts of the park? Let me know in the comments below, on Facebook or Twitter. We'd be happy to hear from you.

See ya real soon!

10 Pokémon that should have been awesome but sucked

I'm what they call a "90s Kid." I was born in 1986 and spent my most formative years in the 1990s. It was in the blessed year of 1996, when I turned 10 years old, that the United States were introduced to a Japanese phenomenon known as "Pokémon." That Christmas was one of my all-time favorites. I spent days glued to my Game Boy and my new "Pokémon: Blue" video game.

I assume that if you took the time to pull up this blog post, you know what Pokémon is, so I'm not going to bore you by trying to explain it. I will, however, clarify that my knowledge of the franchise mainly stops a couple games in, so, despite there being 807 Pokémon (currently, at the time of writing), in my mind, there are only about 200 or so: the original 150 from the "Red" and "Blue" video games and the original TV show, plus a handful of others that I would recognize from later video games. For the purposes of this blog, I have only taken into consideration the original 150 monsters.

The idea behind this blog stems from a conversation I had with my siblings a couple days ago during a family vacation. While roasting S'mores, we discussed our favorite and least favorite Pokémon. We eventually wound up talking about those that we thought were the biggest disappointments. If you ever played any of the Pokémon video games, you understand from personal experience that there were some characters that initially looked amazing but ultimately didn't end up meeting your expectations. It happened to the best of us.

Let's break down ten of my biggest Poké-flops, in no particular order:

#132 Ditto

• Type: Normal
• Attributes: 1'0", 8.8 lbs.
• Rarity: Common
• Pokédex entry: Capable of copying an enemy's genetic code to instantly transform itself into a duplicate of the enemy.
• Why they should have been awesome: Ditto can mimic any Pokémon. On paper, that's an awesome stat. Plus, he just looks so cute!
• Why they weren't: In reality, nobody stuck with Ditto. The only move it knows is Transform and its primary power turns out to be little more than a gimmick, at best - certainly nothing you'd ever want to take into a serious battle. Also, if you've seen "Detective Pikachu," there's a great chance you've had nightmares about Ditto at some point since you left the theater.

#104 Cubone

• Type: Ground
• Attributes: 1'4", 14.3 lbs.
• Rarity: Common
• Pokédex entry: Because it never removes its skull helmet, no one has ever seen this Pokémon's real face.
• Why they should have been awesome: The skeleton mask is a baller costume choice, for sure. The boomerang bone is also a nice touch.
• Why they weren't: Mama drama! Cubone is frequently portrayed as a scared, lonely crybaby with major parental issues, completely negating the awesome character design.

#068 Machamp

• Type: Fighting
• Attributes: 5'3", 286.6 lbs.
• Rarity: N/A - Third evolutionary stage of Machop
• Pokédex entry: Using its heavy muscles, it throws powerful punches that can send the victim clear over the horizon.
• Why they should have been awesome: A four-armed pro wrestler? Heck yeah! He certainly looks like one of the strongest Pokémon in the Kanto region, and I know I wouldn't want to mess with a Machamp if I ever met one in a dark alleyway.
• Why they weren't: Raise your hand if you ever fought more than, like, four times with Machamp... Exactly. As far as I know, he just wasn't a very popular character in any of the video games. Missed opportunity, people. Missed opportunity.

#048 Venonat

• Type: Bug / Poison
• Attributes: 3'3", 66.1 lbs.
• Rarity: Uncommon
• Pokédex entry: Lives in the shadows of tall trees where it eats bugs. It is attracted by light at night.
• Why they should have been awesome: I hate bugs in real life, and I'm not too fond of them in the world of Pokémon, either, but, for some reason, I always thought Venonat looked cool. If nothing else, Venonat is unique; you'd definitely stand out if it was your main companion. I wanted to like him. I really did.
• Why they weren't: First of all, Venemoth is a crappy evolution that nobody likes, so if you ever chose to evolve a Venonat, the chances are that you never played with it ever again. Bug type Pokémon are weak against Fire types, which are some of the most commonly encountered and strongest monsters during trainer battles, and insects like Venonat are only super-effective against Psychic, Grass and Dark type creatures, which... isn't helpful at all, really.

#123 Scyther

• Type: Bug / Flying
• Attributes: 4'11", 123.5 lbs.
• Rarity: Rare
• Pokédex entry: With ninja-like agility and speed, it can create the illusion that there is more than one.
• Why they should have been awesome: Look at that thing! Look at those dang razor blade-arms!
• Why they weren't: Scyther could only be found in the Safari Zone or at Rocket Game Corner (depending on whether you were playing Red or Blue), which meant that it was incredibly difficult to find. Then, if you were lucky or rich enough to get your hands on one, you very likely already had a go-to squad, so adding a Level 10 or 15 Scyther would actually be a downgrade.

#108 Lickitung

• Type: Normal
• Attributes: 3'11", 144.4 lbs.
• Rarity: One - via trade for Slowbro
• Pokédex entry: Its tongue can be extended like a chameleon's. It leaves a tingling sensation when it licks enemies.
• Why they should have been awesome: Lickitung looks like a lot of fun. What's not to love about that goofy face and extra-long tongue?
• Why they weren't: As a rule of thumb, any "Normal" type Pokémon sucks. It's a fact. Check for yourselves. Furthermore, you have to trade for Lickitung in Versions Red and Blue, which means that its previous owner already gave it a nickname. "Marc." That's right. MARC. That's what Lickitung is called when you get him. Why on earth would you want to play with a Pokémon named Marc? Ugh. So stupid.

#134-136 Eevee's evolutions (Vaporeon / Jolteon / Flareon)

• Type: V: Water / J: Electric / F: Fire
• Attributes: V: 3'3", 29.0 lbs. / J: 2'7", 54.0 lbs / F: 2'11", 55.1 lbs.
• Rarity: N/A - Only available via elemental stone evolution of Eevee
• Pokédex entry: V: Lives close to water. Its long tail is ridged with a fin which is often mistaken for a mermaid's. / J: It accumulates negative ions in the atmosphere to blast out 10000-volt lightning bolts. / F: When storing thermal energy in its body, its temperature could soar to over 1,600 degrees.
• Why they should have been awesome: Water, Electric, Fire. Take your pick! And all of these Pokémon look really fancy. Which to choose? Which to choose??
• Why they weren't: Well, you can only get one Eevee in Red and Blue, and you only get to evolve it once, so you've got to choose wisely. More often than not, fear of making an unwise decision prevented me from evolving Eevee at all! Plus, if you're looking for an elemental creature, there are much better ones out there than any of these three.

#137 Porygon

• Type: Normal
• Attributes: 2'7", 80.5 lbs.
• Rarity: Unlimited - via purchase at Rocket Game Corner
• Pokédex entry: A Pokémon that consists entirely of programming code. Capable of moving freely in cyberspace.
• Why they should have been awesome: Porygon was the first completely synthetic Pokémon. That's pretty sick. The jagged, futuristic design is also really cool. Who among us hasn't ever coveted that nice, shiny toy at the top of an arcade prize wall?
• Why they weren't: You had to buy this dang thing from Rocket Game Corner. Had to! In Pokémon Blue, a Porygon cost 8,300 coins. In Pokémon Red, it cost a whopping 9,999! Did ANYONE save enough coins to buy one??

Editor's note: Mere hours after writing this blog, I was playing "Let's Go, Pikachu!" on the Nintendo Switch, making my way from Lavendar Town to Celadon City, when lo, and behold - a freaking Porygon was floating around in the bushes! Apparently, Porygon is a catchable Pokemon in the modern version of the old game! Coincidence??

And it only cost me a couple berries and like 5 Ultra Balls. Now, I guess I'll finally be able to tell whether or not Porygon actually sucks.

#093 Haunter

• Type: Ghost / Poison
• Attributes: 5'3", 0.2 lbs.
• Rarity: Uncommon
• Pokédex entry: Because of its ability to slip through block walls, it is said to be from another dimension.
• Why they should have been awesome: Haunter is easily one of the funniest Pokémon from the animated series. He has the best laugh! And he just seems so mischievous and fun!
• Why they weren't: Ghost type Pokémon aren't super useful in standard battles. They're only effective against Grass and Fairy types, and they're weak against Poison, Ground, Rock and other ghosts (which doesn't even make sense). There's a small window in the game where it can be fun to use ghosts (right after you first encounter them, typically), but it uses its luster quickly. Sadly, Haunter was not nearly as fun in the game as he was on TV.

#026 Raichu

• Type: Electric
• Attributes: 2'7", 66.1 lbs.
• Rarity: N/A - Second evolutionary stage of Pikachu
• Pokédex entry: Its long tail serves as a ground to protect itself from its own high voltage power.
• Why they should have been awesome: Everybody loves Pikachu, the face of the entire franchise. Surely, everyone would love a stronger, evolved version of the little lightning ball, right?
• Why they weren't: Wrong. Using a Thunder Stone is simultaneously one of the saddest and most disappointing decisions you could ever make in the game. After spending so much time nurturing and fighting with your beloved Pikachu, one use of the evolution stone will irreversibly take your pal away from you, never to return. I'm telling you - instant regret.

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How did we do? Were there any of the original 150 Pokémon that should have been included on the list? Which Pokémon were the biggest let-downs for you? Let us know in the comments section below, on Facebook or on Twitter.

Re-ranking the Marvel Cinematic Universe - July 2019

Coinciding with the theatrical release of "Avengers: Endgame," we re-watched (almost) and re-ranked every movie in the Marvel Cinematic Universe, and we did so in great detail. You can read it here. But now, taking "Endgame" into consideration, along with the recently released "Spider-man: Far From Home," we've updated our standings.

Because we so extensively reviewed the movies in previous blogs, including talking "Endgame" and "Far From Home" in this new blog, we've decided to shorten our thoughts down to the old reliable #140Characters or less.

Behold:

23. The Incredible Hulk (2008)

Never saw it. Likely never will. Swapping Norton with Ruffalo made this movie feel completely obsolete. I pretend it doesn't exist.

22. Iron Man 3 (2013)

My least favorite Marvel film. The Mandarin twist totally ruined this entire movie. #unforgivable

21. Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 (2017)

The first MCU movie I'd have felt uncomfortable taking kids to. Awesome soundtrack, fun characters, but couldn't live up to its predecessor.

20. Iron Man 2 (2010)

Introduced us to Black Widow and a new actor playing War Machine. Whiplash had a cool scene. A decent but largely forgettable sequel.

19. Thor (2011)

My least favorite of the "Big Three" origin movies. Too much hype about shirtless Hemsworth. Thankfully, Thor has gotten better with time.

18. Ant-Man and the Wasp (2018)

Gotta love Ant-Man, but this movie felt almost entirely inconsequential until the post-credits scene. Evangeline Lilly did well as the Wasp.

17. Thor: Ragnarok (2017)

It was humorous. It was very colorful. But that doesn't mean it was great. They tried so hard to be funny that it got to be distracting.

16. Spider-man: Homecoming (2017)

Another Spidey reboot? Really? Better than expected, but still wasn't ready to fully accept a new Peter Parker. Michael Keaton was awesome.

15. Captain America: The First Avenger (2011)

A good movie, but we didn't truly understand what Marvel was building quite yet. Perhaps they didn't, either. #StarSpangledManWithAPlan

14. Thor: The Dark World (2013) - Up two spots after watching "Endgame"

I liked it to begin with, but it feels much more important in retrospect, after seeing Endgame. However, arguably the worst MCU villains.

13. Black Panther (2018)

A very important movie for particular demographics. Killmonger was a fantastic villain and, overall, the movie wasn't half bad. #TeamShuri

12. Captain Marvel (2019)

Kicked off a new era (and destination) for the MCU. For better or worse, the gender of the hero does not determine the quality of the movie.

11. Avengers: Age of Ultron (2015) - Up two spots after watching "Endgame"

You may have forgotten all the good stuff that happens in Ultron. I know I did. This is another one that is better after watching Endgame.

10. Doctor Strange (2016)

Perhaps the most underrated movie of the MCU. Tremendous special effects, a cool new character and some doctrinally accurate life lessons.

9. Ant-Man (2015)

A heist movie! Ant-Man was a much cooler character than ever anticipated. Hilarious - one of the funniest movies of the MCU.

8. Iron Man (2008)

A movie that changed the history of Hollywood. A perfect, intriguing introduction to the world of Marvel superheroes. All-time classic.

7. Spider-man: Far From Home (2019)

Definite improvement over Homecoming. Mysterio is instantly a top villain. Tom Holland is growing into his role perfectly. Would see again.

6. Guardians of the Galaxy (2014)

Unbelievably, shockingly, this movie totally  worked! A blast, from start to finish - the most rewatchable movie of the MCU. #BestSoundtrack

5. Captain America: Civil War (2016)

Team Cap vs Team Stark lived up to the billing. Our first look at the new Spider-man and Black Panther. Loved the airport fight scene.

4. Marvel's The Avengers (2012)

Some weren't sure a big-screen team-up of this magnitude would work. Turns out, it was just a taste of things to come. Ground. Breaking.

3. Captain America: The Winter Soldier (2014)

A bonafide spy thriller. Captain America high-jumps up the superhero power rankings and becomes the new face of truth & justice. #HailHYDRA

2. Avengers: Endgame (2019)

The final battle was the most glorious scene in the history of cinema. Truly jaw-dropping. A beautiful end for the original Avengers.

1. Avengers: Infinity War (2018)

The greatest superhero movie ever made. Everybody got a chance to shine, and an ending that absolutely nobody saw coming. Incredible stuff.

Thoughts on 'Avengers: Endgame' and 'Spider-man: Far From Home'

It has been three months since my last blog, which can only mean one thing: I've got two new Marvel movies to review.

Yes, it's true. Two new movies have come out in the Marvel Cinematic Universe since I blogged, and I'm ready to talk about both of them. Clearly, you should not continue reading any further unless you have seen "Avengers: Endgame" and "Spider-man: Far From Home."

We good? All right. Let's go.

Avengers: Endgame

I really enjoyed "Endgame." I saw it in theaters three times, for crying out loud, so I better have liked it!

There were a couple things that I didn't quite care for; the first half-hour was a little rough, particularly.

I didn't like that Tony was such a jerk to the other Avengers (specifically, Cap) after he was rescued, but I guess he was always arrogant, so this shouldn't have come as much of a surprise.

Captain Marvel still isn't my favorite character. At this point, she is incredibly overpowered - it's no wonder she had to be M.I.A. for 90% of the movie! It will be interesting to see who she ends up fighting in any forthcoming sequels. Whoever it is better end up being 40 times stronger than Thanos, or else the movie is only going to be 15 minutes long. And I understand that there are, apparently, legions of of cosmic threats out there that are diverting her attention, but it did come off a bit like she thinks Earth isn't important enough for her, and that was annoying.

Perhaps the most disappointing aspect of "Endgame," for me, was how easily they killed Thanos. We're talking the first time. Like, they literally just showed up and chopped his head off. I had joked for a year that, no matter what happened, they better go for the head - and they did - but, for it to happen that simply, not even 45 minutes into the movie, I was pretty let down. Thanos deserved better.

With that in mind, the final battle was fantastic. In my mind, the "Avengers Assemble" moment was one of the most glorious scenes in the history of cinema. Absolutely terrific. Cap finally lifted Thor's hammer - which we all suspected he could do, all the way back in "Age of Ultron," and that moment alone was worth the price of admission. Watching all the heroes join forces on screen was goosebump-worthy, and I couldn't have asked for anything more from the final hour of the movie. (The feminism scene was a bit too heavy-handed, though. Like, we get it, guys. Great.)

Going into the movie, I assumed Captain America would die and Iron Man would retire, but we got the opposite. Steve Rogers resigned himself to the life that he missed out on, which was the best ending he probably could have hoped for, and Tony Stark - the one who started it all - dealt the final blow to Thanos, losing his life in the process. It was a fitting ending for Tony. Admittedly, I was never "Team Stark," but his character changed my taste in movies (and Hollywood, at large) by leaps and bounds. Thankfully, I didn't cry over it, but I know many who did, including the woman one row behind me during my first viewing, who was uncontrollably sobbing. Also, this happened. Someone was actually hospitalized for crying too much. Just... just wow.

One more thing that I really loved about "Endgame" was that it made every single MCU movie feel important. Except for the Edward Norton "Hulk" movie. That one doesn't count. But there were Easter eggs and references to pretty much every other movie, with several scenes taking place in past movies, not the least of which was a shoutout to "Thor: The Dark World"! Eat it, haters!

I also need to give major props to Marvel for the "Endgame" elevator scene, which single-handedly gave a flashback to the tremendous fight scene in "Winter Soldier" and also turned one of the most controversial comicbook storylines from the past few years into a one-liner ("Hail H.Y.D.R.A.") that sent my opening-night theater into an uproar of approval. Great work.

I've got to accept "Endgame" for what it truly is: a love-letter farewell tour for the original crew (Iron Man, Captain America, Thor, Hulk, Black Widow and Hawkeye). This movie was about them. As such, most of the movie was focused on those particular characters. I'm not sure anybody would really have cared about a Hawkeye/Black Widow fight in any other movie, but, for "Endgame," it worked. Watching Tony Stark turn into a family man wasn't quite gripping entertainment, but, for "Endgame," we loved it (3,000). It's funny how, sometimes, when you finish a TV show or, for instance, a 10-year-long movie franchise, it makes us sad, like we're losing friends or something. But that's what happened here, too. This was the end of a chapter of entertainment, and it was a great run while it lasted.

With that said, Black Widow better stay dead. Iron Man better not come back. I don't want to see Vision or Gamora again in the future of the MCU. (Yeah, yeah, I know we're getting a Black Widow prequel that nobody I know actually wants to see, and that Vision is getting a spin-off on Disney+, and that Star-Lord was searching for Gamora the last time he was on the screen during "Endgame," but why can't Marvel just keep their characters dead for once? The original era is over, and now it's time to turn the page and move on with new characters.

Speaking of Star-Lord, can I just say that this was one of the proudest moments of my life?

I tweeted that out five days before "Endgame" hit theaters, so when Fat Thor said "Asgardians of the Galaxy" at the end of the movie, I was going crazy. I'm a psychic and I'm so dang proud of myself.

The final verdict:

Overall, "Avengers: Endgame" is a really great movie. Solid 9 out of 10 stars from A-Town. But, in the end, I just couldn't justify knocking "Infinity War" out of the top spot. Here's my main reason: because "Endgame" focused so much about the O.G. six Avengers, it didn't give much time to many of the other heroes. Take Drax and Mantis, for instance: they each got maybe a minute and a half of screen time, with two or three lines of dialogue, each. I loved the way that "Infinity War" gave each group of heroes their own time to shine. We got to see everybody in action for nearly three hours. I never thought that kind of a crossover, involving characters from that many movies, would work, but it did. Thus, I'm keeping "Infinity War" as the king of comicbook movies (for now, at least), with "Endgame" coming in as a firm runner-up.

Spider-man: Far From Home

I was not totally certain what to expect from the first post-"Endgame" entry in the MCU, other than the fact that Peter Parker and Nick Fury would obviously survive the final battle with Thanos. This was clear to the entire world, as those two, who were both "snapped" by the Mad Titan in "Infinity War" were shown, alive and well, in "Far From Home" trailers before "Endgame" even came out. So... that was pretty stupid. Good job, folks.

The other thing that came as no surprise to me was that Mysterio, played wonderfully by Jake Gyllenhaal, ended up being a villain, despite the trailer's best effort to coax us into thinking that he would be playing a mentor figure for young Mr. Parker. Everybody with half a brain that is even remotely familiar with the Mysterio character knows that he is one of our favorite web-slinger's greatest nemesises... nemesi... nemesee... Never has a plot twist been so telegraphed since I saw Batman and Superman fighting each other in a movie that was subtitled "Dawn of Justice." Like, you know, the Justice League, which was founded by none other than the Caped Crusader and the Man of Steel.

I wasn't the biggest fan of "Spider-man: Homecoming." No, no. That would be my co-worker, who I believe honestly thinks that Spider-man is real. It wasn't a bad movie. It just wasn't my favorite. And, at the time it was released, I still wasn't too keen on the fact that we were getting another Spidey reboot with a brand new actor in the lead role. (Technically, he first appeared in "Civil War," but let's not get nitpicky, people.) As with Daniel Craig in the role of James Bond, it has just taken me a second to adjust to Tom Holland as Peter Parker. He does a nice job and he is finally settling into the role. I still don't like Zendaya as "M.J.," but Tom has finally grown on me.

I didn't mind all the references to the now-deceased Tony Stark, who was the closest thing that this iteration of Peter has had to a father, but I was glad to see that Iron Man didn't physically appear in any (presumed) new footage in "Far From Home." We did get a little glimpse of what Peter is capable of while designing his new suit, which was fun. Let the boy spread his Spider-wings and fly!

Despite the aforementioned plot twist, I really liked Mysterio as the villain. I thought that the way they translated the comicbook character onto the big screen was relevant, with the ongoing development of virtual reality and holographic imagery. I thought the Mysterio "illusion" scenes, especially that one toward the end where it looks like Spider-man has been stuck inside a snowglobe, were incredibly well done. I thought that Gyllenhaal was perfect for that part. I have generally liked him in most of his movies, and I was glad to see him get a "Nightcrawler"-esque freak-out at one point, during that scene where his assistants are struggling to run their drone program to perfection. That's good stuff. In my book, I'd put Mysterio as a Top-Five Marvel villain, at the moment.

"Far From Home" felt organically funny, too; the humor wasn't forced like the MCU tends to get from time to time. There were a couple moments that genuinely made me laugh out loud. It's also, hands down, Happy Hogan's best movie to date.

Let's talk about those post-credits scenes

• The first post-credits scene showed footage of Mysterio moments before his demise. An awkward quote from Spider-man was taken out of context, painting him as a murderer, followed shortly thereafter by Mr. Beck revealing to the world the true identity of Spider-man - Peter Parker, including a photo of his face. That's intense. Really, really good moment right there. It will be very interesting to see how this affects the future of the universe, now that they not only know who Spider-man is, but they also think that he's a bad guy.
• Can we also raise the dang roof for that brilliant cameo by J.K. Simmons, reprising his role as the superhero-hating J. Jonah Jameson? Oh man, that was so good. JJJ is amazing.
• The second post-credits scene revealed that the Nick Fury we had seen throughout the entire movie was actually the shape-shifting Skrull Talos, who had been disguising himself as the former director of S.H.I.E.L.D. the entire time, which Fury was, it turns out, just chilling up in space. I hadn't heard any spoilers about "Far From Home," but I did see a tweet a couple hours before my showing that said something like, "Can we just talk about that second post-credits scene??" ...as if it were a good thing, I assume? Well, guess what? I didn't like it. In fact, I thought it was pretty dumb and confusing. There. I said it.

Was "Far From Home" the best Spider-man movie ever made
? I'm not positive. Certainly, it was more enjoyable than "Homecoming." I'll leave "Into the Spider-verse" out of the conversation for the time being. MCU Spidey is way better than anything Andrew Garfield did. I'd put it above "Spider-man 3," which I didn't care for, although the Emo Peter Parker stuff just gets better with age. I remember walking out of "Spider-man (1)" and "Spider-man 2," legitimately thinking that they were the best movies I had ever seen. I didn't have that same feeling as I left "Far From Home," although I did think it would wind up high in my rankings. I could quickly spout off a bunch of MCU movies that were worse, including good, recent ones like "Captain Marvel" and "Black Panther." I'd willingly see it again in theaters, provided that the MoviePass gods smile upon me in upcoming weeks. All in all, it was a very good movie - probably about an 8.5 out of 10 - and it was definitely more enjoyable than I anticipated it to be.

The final verdict:

There are a couple movies, right now, that are untouchable at the top of my rankings. Not that it was bad, by any stretch, but I would never say that "Far From Home" was as good as or better than "Infinity War," "Endgame" or the original "Avengers" movie. Then there are a couple others that I just love too much to bump down right now: "Winter Soldier" and "Civil War." The best comparisons I could give it while walking out of the theater would be "Iron Man (1)" and "Guardians of the Galaxy." After thinking about it for a while, I like "Guardians (Vol. 1)" better, simply for the lasting impact that those characters have had on me. I love the Guardians. And I've always loved "Iron Man (1)," as well. That movie, as I've stated many times before, was a complete game-changer (and I hate the way that phrase is overused these days). But, given the choice, would I rather sit down right now, this very second, and watch "Iron Man" again or go see "Far From Home" for a second time?

This very second, I'm officially putting "Far From Home" ahead of "Iron Man."

*****

So there you have it! Did you like "Avengers: Endgame"? Have you seen "Spider-man: Far From Home"? Let us know in the comments below or on Facebook or Twitter or whatever you feel is most appropriate.

To view my full, updated list of movies in the Marvel Cinematic Universe, click here.

For more on "Avengers: Endgame," click here.