Never give up! Never surrender!

I got passed over for a promotion at work today. It was a writing position. Right up my alley. I defy them to find anyone more qualified for a writing position than I am. Yet they decided not to hire me.

This isn't the first time I've been passed over for a writing job. I've applied for those types of jobs all over the place over the past five years, including trying to get back to the Deseret News, where I feel I have proven my worth and my skills time and time again. This isn't the first time I've been passed over for a promotion at my current place of employment, either. I believe that I was certainly more than qualified for the other job, too, in their social media department.

This has been incredibly frustrating to me. They say that having a degree will open doors for you (not true). Likewise, they say that one door closes, another door opens (not always true). Why would I, with my abundance of relevant experience, my Bachelor's Degree in communications and my award-winning stint in professional writing, so constantly be overlooked? Similarly, why am I 30 years old and still absolutely single and alone? These are two pain points for me that I struggle with quite often. This was not the plan. I was supposed to be married years ago. I should probably have had like two kids at this point. I was supposed to have a solid career in journalism by now. This was not the way I pictured my life to go.

I don't think I'm an incompetent writer. Shakespeare I am not, but I don't think I'm terrible. I'm not a total loser. Ryan Gosling I am not, but I don't think I'm undateable. I'm certainly not the worst option out there. So why aren't things working out for me? What have I done to deserve this constant rejection?

An illustration

People occasionally tell me I should write a book. I appreciate the compliment, but I'm just not that kind of writer. I have never really written fiction, outside of any elementary school assignments. I remember writing a "Mission: Impossible"-type series in like fourth grade and I once attempted to create a science-fiction comicbook about me and some alien friends. I thought it would turn into a Nintendo 64 game at some point, but that didn't pan out. I think if I were to ever write a book, it would have to be a book about overcoming adversity because that's probably the only thing I feel like I know enough about to put together an actual "book." That, or Reality TV Mormons, as I am the world's leading expert on the matter.

Getting rejected so much sucks, don't get me wrong. But I do believe that it has taught me some valuable lessons about self-esteem and provided enough mental ammunition for me to keep trying when the times have been tough. Allow me to illustrate:

My entire department got laid off at Allstate, almost a year to this date. Facebook will remind me of the one-year anniversary any day now. There were a couple good things to come from that:

• I didn't like working in insurance. Boom. Done. Escape route.
• We were given a really good severance package. Boom. Done. Three-month paid vacation.
• They gave us Cafe Rio after they told us that we were no longer employed. We all refused to eat it, out of bitterness, at first, but we eventually gave in. Boom. Done. Free lunch.
• And they set us up with a free job hunting seminar. I can't remember what they called it. Something like an "employment transition workshop," I think.

I reluctantly went to the seminar (I didn't want to admit that I needed help finding a new job), but I'm glad that I did. It helped me realize that sometimes in life I am not the problem. That's not always a good or a healthy thing to think, because sometimes I probably am the problem. But in that case, getting laid off, I was not the problem. There was nothing that I, personally, could have done to prevent it.

Their words, not mine

I would hope that I was not the problem with this most recent failure in the workplace. I felt like I gave a really good interview for this writing position. I've been doing really well at my job recently, even being nominated by my peers and selected by management to fly out to our corporate headquarters in New Jersey next month. I was confident - yet humble, after getting turned down for the social media job that I thought they'd be stupid not to hire me for - so I went in with reasonably low expectations, but (let's be honest) I expected to get the job. I gave well thought-out responses, often prompting the interviewers to remark, "Great answer!" with the accompanying head bob and note-taking. I had wanted this particular job since I first heard about it, probably 6 months ago. I had always hoped that there would be another opening (or one like it) because, as I told them in the interview, it was in a position like this one where I could A) obtain the most personal growth and B) most help the company with my talents. I really wanted this job. Alas, they ended up choosing some girl neither I nor my supervisor had ever seen or heard of.

Here's the "constructive" feedback they gave me about my interview:

• They thought that I could have given a better answer for one particular question they asked.
• "Garbage," I say, because it was one of those questions where the interviewer is looking for a specific answer and they expect you to read their mind. I gave a good answer, I thought, and, when they told me what they had hoped that I would say, I agreed with them, told them that I understood why they'd say that and even gave them an example of their reasoning that I had mentioned in the episode of "Survivor" that I had watched the night before.
• They didn't think I was passionate enough about the position.
• "Inconceivable," I scream, because I remember at least twice during that interview when I told them that this was the job I had wanted for months. I told them that I hadn't applied for other jobs (that they pretty much hire anyone to do) because I always hoped they'd have another opening. I told them that I didn't care about a difference in pay or room to grow into a supervisor because that was what I wanted to be doing for our company.

Bouncing back: some words of encouragement

So I'm pretty upset, I'm pretty frustrated and I'm pretty disappointed. "Disrespected" was a word that came to mind earlier today. Now the question is: how do I bounce back from this? How do I keep my chin up and keep moving forward after being shut down in my two areas of expertise, knowing that, if they didn't hire me this time around, I may not ever be hired for these types of positions at this particular company?

Start looking for another job.

Yeah, maybe.

But in the meantime, what words of comfort can I use to console myself and to remind myself that, in this case (I am pretty sure), I am not the problem?

I have always loved this quote by Marvin J. Ashton, which he gave in a talk to single members of the Church in 1992:

Set your goals—without goals you can’t measure your progress. But don’t become frustrated if the victories don’t come quickly or easily. Remind yourself that striving can be more important than arriving. If you are striving for excellence—if you are trying your best day by day with the wisest use of your time and energy to reach realistic goals—you are a success, and you can feel proud of your accomplishments. [Italics added]

I also really appreciated a story by Dallin H. Oaks that I read in a new(ish) book compiled for young adults called We're With You. Elder Oaks talks about how he had a plan for his life that didn't quite end up the way he envisioned. He talks about how he had planned to serve a mission, which he couldn't because he was called away to war. He came home and got married, then figured that he and his wife would serve a mission later in life. That didn't happen as planned either because he was appointed as a Supreme Court Justice. He planned to serve there for 20 years or so and then serve a couples mission, but he was called to be a general authority just four years into that career. Then, suddenly, his wife passed away, which, of course was not something he had foreseen. He later remarried and is currently surviving (for life) as an Apostle. Says Elder Oaks:

How fundamentally different my life is than I had sought to plan! My professional life has changed. My personal life has changed. But the commitment I made to the Lord - to put Him first in my life and to be ready for whatever He would have me do - has carried me through these changes of eternal importance.

And another, just a few pages later, from D. Todd Christopherson:

The very details of our lives are of importance to God. He cares about all of it - words, works, even thoughts. His interest and love are infinite in this way, and He will respond to our hopes and pleadings and help us in everything, including matters that seem unimportant or insignificant to others or even to ourselves.

That's some good stuff.

Peter-peter-peter-peter... Quincy-quincy-quincy-quincy...

Anyway, I don't know why I felt like blogging about my little disappointment today. I don't know why I felt like sharing these personal thoughts with you people, most of whom barely even talk to me on a weekly basis. But I hope that if there is somebody else out there that is struggling with self-worth or needs a little motivation that you can take it from me - that you do matter, that you are awesome and that you can do it! It might not happen today. It might not happen tomorrow. It might not happen for seven years or maybe even longer. But don't give up on yourself. Hang in there. In the immortal words of Peter Quincy Taggart, "Never give up! Never surrender!"


One of these days, somebody is going to recognize my greatness, and that will be a glorious day. A glorious day, indeed. But until then, I think I'll go make myself a delicious Totino's pizza. Excuse me.

TO BE CONTINUED

The Jazz are going to lose - and that's ok

The Utah Jazz will not beat the Golden State Warriors in the 2017 NBA Western Conference Semifinals, and I've come to grips with it. As much as I'd absolutely love for the Jazz to shock the world and wipe those smug smirks off the Warriors' faces, it's not going to happen.

It has been hard for me to watch these first two games, as the Warriors controlled both contests from start to finish. I consider it a "close game" if the Jazz can narrow the deficit to single digits. It sounds like the crowd at Oracle Arena is on the verge of panic if the Jazz hit a shot to bring it within 13. (I find this hilarious, by the way.) But the fact of the matter is that the Warriors are the best team in basketball right now. The tough part is that, as good as they are, it makes the Jazz look bad. We look like a high school team or something. We look afraid of them, especially in the first half. We are timid when it comes to shooting and clumsy when it comes to passing. It is a sour note to end a great season on.

As a whole, I consider the 2016-17 Utah Jazz season a tremendous success. We won 51 games (more than most predicted or even hoped), we got ourselves an All-Star, Joe Ingles spent most of the season leading the league in three point shooting, Rudy is a strong Defensive Player of the Year candidate, Joe freakin' Johnson plays for the Jazz (I still can't believe that), we won our division and we beat the Los Angeles Clippers in a tough, seven-game playoff series - all the while battling injuries that depleted our starting lineup for a majority of the year. Imagine what we could have done with a healthy roster! In comparison to what we've seen for the better part of a decade (or, really, since Stockton and Malone retired), this was a pretty dang good season to be a Jazz fan. Losing to the #1 Seed in the West is nothing to feel bad about.

I've been thinking a lot about what our current predicament compares to. Probably the best comparison I have come up with would be a footrace against Usain Bolt. You could be Tyson Gay or whoever the second-fastest runner in the world is, and it doesn't matter. You're going to lose. In fact, Usain Bolt probably going to blow you away. This doesn't mean that you suck; it just means that he is that good.

The Warriors have been a ridiculously good team for about three or four years now. Adding Kevin Durant this offseason was basically them just spitting in the face of parity and fairness. At this point, they've got three guys who can light you up from downtown at any time. On top of that, they've got that moron Draymond Green, who will just as likely shut you down defensively as he will kick you in the family jewels in a fit of frustration. They're really good. And even when those four guys are on the bench, they've got a bunch of other players who go full-speed almost the entire game. They're constantly getting points in transition (or "cherry picking"... call it what you will) and most teams just can't maintain that pace of play all game long.

To put things into an interesting perspective, however, despite the Jazz losing by double digits in each of the first two games in this series, they're actually doing relatively well, compared to the other semifinal matchups. Through two games, every team that had lost a game lost by at least 20 points at least once, with the exception of Utah and the Washington Wizards (who also lost by double digits in each of their first two games, albeit not by more than 20). Considering that the Jazz are playing, by far, the best team in the league, that's a stat I'm willing to live with.

I just want the series to be competitive. Game 1 was rough. We pulled our heads out in Game 2 and I truly think we made those bandwagon Warriors fans nervous by keeping it relatively close, especially in the second half. I'm hoping we can take a game or two in Salt Lake City before facing elimination in Game 5 or 6. But, even if we do end up getting swept, you know, I'm not embarrassed. I'm not mad. I'm really not even that concerned. Everybody is getting stomped on by the Warriors this year, and it's very likely that they'll waltz their way to another NBA championship, the way things are looking.

I don't think I hate the Warriors. I hate the Clippers. Absolutely hate the Clippers. I think I'm more annoyed by the Warriors. I thought they were a fun little team to watch when they knocked off LeBron a couple years ago, but then they got confident and they got cocky. Too cocky, if you ask me. I can't stand Draymond flexing every time he gets an And-1. I want to go slap Steph Curry's mouthguard right out of his mouth. I think Durant is a sellout with embarrassing facial hair. Klay Thompson doesn't bother me; I just don't like him because he plays for the Warriors. JaVale McGee is a bozo and I want to cut off his stupid rat tail haircut. I don't think Steve Kerr or Mike Brown are necessarily great coaches - I could coach that team: "Get Steph the ball. Shoot lots of threes." Matt Barnes looks like Gomez Addams with prison tattoos - and the #nightlife scandal has been entertaining, to say the least. I've got to order myself a shirt. Making fun of the "Woyers" has been one of the few things that have made these last two games watchable, in my opinion. I've actually been kind of bored watching, to be quite honest. So at least that gives me something to do. And hey, win or lose, at least I will always be able to say that the Warriors blew a 3-1 lead.

I'm proud of the Jazz and how well they've played this season. It's been a lot of fun to watch and it's been a heck of a journey for us as an up-and-coming team. We have nothing to be ashamed of. Plus, we've always got this memory to look back on:


Go Jazz! #TakeNote