LOST: Why I still love LOST

I just finished watching LOST for the second time. While many people have mocked and ridiculed me for this decision, I'm totally ok with it. Sure, it was an enormous time commitment, but, in the end, I feel like I learned a few things and I feel like it wasn't time totally wasted. In this, the first of what could potentially be a series of blogs, I'll do my best to explain to you haters why I still love LOST, four and a half years later.

***

Let's start at the beginning.

When LOST first aired, way back in 2004, I didn't want to watch it. I didn't really know much about it; I just knew that tons of people loved it and, for that reason alone, I didn't want anything to do with it. I'm a rebel like that. I did a pretty good job of actively avoiding the show, but I did find myself up late one night watching some recap episode while I was down at Snow College. The recap meant nothing to me. Some little kid got kidnapped and it ended with some guys staring down a hole with a broken ladder. Big whoop. Didn't care.

When I came home from my LDS mission in 2008, my family had been watching LOST, renting the seasons on DVD one disc at a time from Blockbuster. (FYI, Blockbuster used to be this popular video store where people could go rent movies... It doesn't exist anymore.) Again, I tried my best not to watch it and usually found myself trying to figure out what this thing called "Facebook" was whilst my mom and siblings watched in the family room.

I remember one specific episode while my family was in the middle Season Three when I kept hearing a song called "Shambala" by Three Dog Night. I didn't know what was going on, but I had loved that song for years. For the first time, I figured that if they were playing 'Shambala,' that show couldn't be that bad...

My brother Austin would often watch episodes down in our basement at night, just outside my bedroom, and I found myself checking the show out from time to time. He would explain to me this weird phenomenon about how pregnant women kept dying on the Island, which I thought was pretty strange. Nonetheless, it intrigued me enough for me to actually sit down and watch a full episode.

The first full episode I watched was called "Expose." It focused on two characters named Nikki and Paolo. I remembered something about diamonds and them being buried alive. Later, I would hear that episode described as "terrible," "pointless" and "the worst episode" of the whole series. But hey, I didn't know any better, so it didn't bother me too much.

Within a couple shows, I was hooked, but my problem was that I jumped in head-first in the middle of the third season. I wanted to learn about all the stuff I'd missed, so, starting with Episode One - I kid you not - I looked up episode summaries on Wikipedia and read about every single episode until I was caught up. If something sounded really important or crazy, I looked the episode up on Hulu (which, believe it or not, used to be completely free) and, before I knew it, I was all caught up with my family.

I continued watching with Austin until he left on his mission later that year, then continued watching with my siblings Amy and Cody. My mom pretty much watched on her own when she had time in her busy schedule. Austin had the ending spoiled for him at some point and never watched all the way to the end. But for Amy, Cody and I, LOST became a weekly tradition, complete with gummy bears and mint Oreos, as we anxiously awaited the fate of Jack, Kate, Sawyer, Locke and the rest of the rag-tag crew of Survivors.

In May 2009, LOST came to its controversial end. I know of very few programs that have ever been so hotly debated or polarizing. For me and my siblings, I think the ending sat just fine at first. A few days later, the adrenaline wore off and I realized that there were a few things that I didn't think the writers adequately resolved and whatnot, but, overall, I honestly didn't mind the ending that much. On the other hand, to this day, my mother hates - absolutely despises - LOST. She will never watch another second of it in her entire life. Certainly, there are others just like her all around the world.

But why was LOST's tremendously loyal fan base so divided by the conclusion? I think there were a few contributing factors:

• Not enough answers: Of course, the main thing that people will always go back to is the argument that there were too many loose ends. The show, detractors say, simply raised too many questions in the first five seasons to possibly answer all of them by the end of the series.
• The fate of the Survivors: I won't spoil it here, but I inevitably will throughout the course of these blogs, so be ye warned. I think a lot of people didn't like how it ended. My mom calls it a "cop out." This is the really hard thing about series finales - you can never please 100% of viewers. Has it ever happened before? I doubt it. But, especially with a show like LOST, somebody was bound to be unhappy.
• Too confusing: Time travel almost always leads to two things - confusion and plot holes. Such were the complaints of many LOST fans during Seasons Four through Six. Lots of time jumps, lots of confusion. Admittedly, things got a little crazy. And, admittedly, it's not easy to keep track of all the whos, whens and wheres.

Obviously, that bulleted list is not all-inclusive. If there's a reason why you hated LOST that wasn't listed above, I'd love to hear it (and debate it).

I understand these concerns. I really do. I had some of the same concerns, myself. I was actually pretty reluctant to start the series over again because I didn't want to be let down, but, years ago, I bought all the seasons on DVD and many of them were still wrapped in the plastic. That, ladies and gentlemen, is what I like to call "a waste of money." I'd feel horrible if I just left the box sets sitting on the shelf for the rest of my life, so I knew I'd have to watch them eventually. It was just a matter of time.

At length, I decided that the time had come to give the series another shot. But this time around, in hopes that I could somehow subside a few of my long-standing questions and concerns, I decided I'd take notes. Along with my trusty notebook (and a very good sport in one Daniella Varas), I began at the beginning, watching the episodes that I had once read about on Wikipedia. Four and a half months later, I finished the show with about 25 pages of notes and a greater understanding of the story and all of its complexity. And you know what? I didn't hate it the second time through, either.

In my notes, I kept track of a handful of things (some of which were much more noteworthy than others):

• First and foremost, I wrote down all of my questions and answers, when they occurred.
• I wrote down all the connections I could find between the Survivors (off-Island connections and any meaningful on-Island interactions)
• I kept track of why the Survivors were flying from Sydney to Los Angeles.
• I listened for terms describing why the Survivors were special.
• After realizing that many of the Survivors have hallucinations while on the Island, I kept track of which characters were having these visions.
• I couldn't help but laugh at all of the Survivors who tripped and fell on their faces during the series.
• Ben Linus has got to be one of the most frequently beaten characters in all of television... so I kept track of how many times Ben got beat up.
• At one point, I decided to write down profound quotes or phrases that succinctly describe certain characters.
• I marked significant deaths of major characters.
• I wrote down any religious symbolism that I noticed throughout the series.
• I made a list of similarities between Oceanic 815 and Ajira 316.
• And I also kept track of a few other things that I won't list right now, as not to give away any premature spoilers.

I found that my notebook helped me keep track of important, pivotal moments in the series. I also found that most of my questions this time around were, in fact, answered - and the ones that weren't really weren't that important to begin with (like whether or not anybody got the SOS message that Claire sent with that bird in Season Three). I get why many of you mocked me for being such a nerd about it - and I wouldn't recommend that anybody else watch the show that way - but, for me, it was ultimately beneficial and helped me have an enhanced experience as I watched.

***

Now, on to the big question: why do I still love LOST?

• I love LOST because, if nothing else, it is one of the most complex dramas in the history of entertainment. With its unique, complex cast and their backstories (and future-stories and side-stories), there was always something interesting and new going on. It gave me people to like and people to dislike. (For the record, I never liked Kate or Juliet. Never.) It gave me reasons to laugh and (almost) a couple reasons to cry. In general, it was vague, but it did so in a way that promoted eager investigation, and often tied in many hints, clues and Easter eggs that provided a payoff for longtime fans with a keen eye. On occasion, I would look something up on Lostpedia, merely out of curiosity, but was quickly intimidated by the sheer magnitude of facts and trivia compiled by super-smart viewers. Too much information.
• I love LOST because its tragic tale of hope, in a sort of sickening way, made me feel connected to the characters. In some ways, I think most people who watch the show can relate to a couple of the Survivors, and, as such, we relate to them and want them to succeed. Those castaways had some really depressing lives and it made me wish better circumstances for them. That was something great about LOST. There were many characters that I came to love - and I grew emotionally invested in the outcome of the story. Toward the end of the series, although I was happy that my months-long binge watching had come to an end, I felt a small sense of sadness that the story was almost over. I'm not going to go as far as to say that these fictional people were my friends, but... you know... kind of.
  
• I love LOST because, deep down, it is a story of redemption. The rivalry between Jack Shephard and John Locke is fascinating. In many ways, the two couldn't be more different. It was the series-long struggle between the "man of science" versus the "man of faith." Jack thought with his head. Locke thought with his heart. Both of them acted hastily their fair share of times, often to the dismay and detriment of their fellow castaways. What really interested me this second time through was their interactions during Season Six. Contrary to their typical characters, both men find a new sense of purpose in the final season and realize that they weren't always right all of the time. Jack develops faith and Locke has to rely on science. There's a lot more that goes into it (and the topic may eventually earn a blog post of its own), but watching Jack and Locke - and Hurley and Sawyer and Ben and a host of others - find redemption as their journeys came to an end was satisfying to me.
  
  
• I love LOST because of its symbolism. I remember sitting at home during the initial airing of Season Six and finding myself enthralled by the "good versus evil" storyline. As a member of (and teacher in) the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, I'm a firm believer that the gospel can be found all throughout pop culture. As I re-watched the series with that belief firmly in mind, I was able to find many more instances of symbolism (religious and otherwise), and that, to me, was pretty cool. It's not just a story, fun and fancy free. There's some deep, profound stuff in there, too.
• I love LOST because of its cliffhangers. I've always had a hard time watching sitcoms and programs with standalone episodes because I feel like there is nothing driving those shows forward. I used to watch The Mentalist, for instance, but gave up on it after a couple seasons because it was like there were a dozen episodes where the guy goes around and solves random crimes and then the final two episodes of the season resumed the "Red John" story. I felt like I could miss an episode here or there and really not be missing out on anything. With LOST, you've got to watch every single episode (even the one about Nikki and Paolo), because, if not, you're going to be missing an important piece of the puzzle. Every episode felt significant - and the final 10 minutes of each week were often pivotal as the show moved forward.
• Finally, I love LOST because of the impact of its characters on TV culture. LOST references are all over the place - and so are members of the cast. Jorge Garcia starred in the short-lived FOX drama "Alcatraz" and has also had humorous guest spots on shows like "How I Met Your Mother." Matthew Fox and Saïd Taghmaoui co-starred in one of my favorite movies, "Vantage Point." Josh Holloway lasted about five minutes in "Mission: Impossible - Ghost Protocol." I can't watch the "Hobbit" movies without remembering how much I can't stand Evangeline Lilly. Michael Emerson is in "Person of Interest," Daniel Dae Kim is in "Hawaii Five-O," Nestor Carbonell is the mayor of Gotham City and a bunch of other LOST alumni can be seen in guest spots in a ton of different programs and movies. Just like Daniel Radcliffe unsuccessfully trying to shed his "Harry Potter" label, those actors and actresses will always be LOST to me. Additionally, the numbers 4, 8, 15, 16, 23 and 42 will never be the same. I tweet them out every time I fly into LAX (true story) - and every now and again you'll hear jokes about Oceanic Airlines (Daniella heard one on "White Collar" a couple weeks ago, for instance).
• I love LOST because the conclusion was a bit open-ended. It didn't spell every little thing out, but I think I'm ok with that. Open-ended conclusions require a bit of imagination on the viewer's end, and that's a good thing. Thinking allows the viewer to make up their own mind about how things ended. There are still a few things that I totally don't understand about LOST, but that's all right. It gives me something to talk about. (Oh wait, nobody wants to talk to me about LOST, for some reason...) There will always be speculation about what happened and what didn't happen and why things were a certain way - and maybe that's how they wanted it. It divided the fan base in a major, major way, but the cast and crew seem to be at peace with it, so maybe that's how they like it. It wasn't a totally happy, warm and fuzzy ending, but, I mean, with a show as depressing and tense as that one was, what were you honestly expecting?

Those are just some of the reasons why I still love LOST. I could go one and on about smaller moments, like the time when Sawyer referred to Frank Lapidus as the pilot who looked like he walked of the set of a Burt Reynolds movie, but I won't. Doing so wouldn't help any of you truly understand my appreciation of this series, so I won't bore you any further.

Personally, I don't feel like the time I spent re-watching LOST was a waste, as my dear mother insists. Also, I'm not going to beg you all to sit down and watch it from start to finish. All I recommend is that those of you who watched LOST and hated it maybe soften your stance a little bit and that those of you who refuse to watch it for whatever reason think about giving it a chance somewhere down the line. Life is long and you've got to watch a new TV show at some point. Consider these blogs my recommendation.

With that being said, and with this being the first in a series of many LOST blogs to come, full, detailed spoilers will be sure to follow in the forthcoming installments, consider this fair warning.

I had a great time re-watching LOST and really need to thank Daniella Varas for taking one for the team and sitting through it all with me. That's a very big commitment and I'm incredibly glad that I didn't have to do it all by my lonesome.

All hail, LOST, one of the greatest TV shows of all time. ...and to those of you who read this entire post and will continue reading, I say...

"Namaste... and good luck."

Salt Lake Comic Con: One-on-One with Valerie Perez

Back at Salt Lake Comic Con in September 2014, I had the opportunity to spend some time getting to know actress, producer, model and self-proclaimed “day brightener” Valerie Perez. Without having any prior familiarity with her career, she graciously allowed me to interrogate her with my journalistic curiosity. Her outgoing personality, friendly disposition and upbeat sense of optimism quickly made her one of my favorite guests at the convention.

“I do a fair amount of conventions every year,” Perez told me. But, despite her recurring appearances at comic cons and pop culture events across the United States, this was her first time coming to Utah. After working with show producer Dan Farr on several occasions, Salt Lake finally snagged her for the show in Fall 2014. By all indications, she seemed to be enjoying her stay. “Everyone’s been so nice!” she said through her practically permanent smile.

Perez is best known for her roles as a butt-kicker in several hit web series. With roles ranging from serious to satirical, Perez has appeared in web videos including “Universal Dead,” “Superhero Speed Dating” and Nerdist.com’s “Justice League” videos, and she starred in Atlantis Studios’ live-action comicbook series, “The Adventures of Paula Peril.”

Becoming an actress was something that Perez said wasn’t easy. “I wanted to do other things, because you’ve all heard about how terrible it is to get into acting,” she said. “You have to be pretty masochistic to want to take all that rejection. But then I realized [that] I really like flexing those muscles of communicating with people.

“I grew up kind of a lonely kid,” she continued. “So … feeling that great feeling of being heard and sending the idea to somebody – filling up the space, if you will – feels really great. And, as someone who’s always lived in their head, I really appreciate that because, you know, I’m a computer geek. I really like the interaction and collaboration and creativity, so… It’s kind of like going to the gym, working those muscles. I’m working my communication muscles and they feel good.”

That hard work is paying off for Perez, whose work was nominated for multiple Geekie Awards in 2013.

In retrospect, Perez said that early exposure to comicbooks helped inspire her career as a model and cosplayer. “Wonder Woman is the reason why I picked up my first comicbook,” she said. “I saw that reboot with George Perez – a beautiful montage cover. He drew her just like my mom, and there was my name – Perez. I thought this book was made just for me and it became my manifesto. That first issue, I re-read it every year from the time I was eight until I was 18. She just blew my mind. … [There was] this great sense of purpose I really identified with.”

Now, Perez has earned the opportunity to don the iconic red and blue Wonder Woman costume for herself in web videos for the popular geek culture website Nerdist.com. “I always was a fan of Wonder Woman,” she said. “To be able to bring it to the next generation, to help highlight what she is, it’s a great honor.”

Along with her classic Wonder Woman costume, Perez also debuted a new, Marvel Comics-themed costume for the Salt Lake convention: Gamora, of “Guardians of the Galaxy” fame. Perez said she had a friend help her apply green body paint with meticulous detail in the early hours of the morning so she could be ready for the event. “I love the colors, I love the textures and I love being here with my Baby Groot,” she said, showing off a miniature, potted version of the lovable wooden superhero that anyone familiar with this summer’s blockbuster would appreciate.

In closing, Perez offered words of encouragement to aspiring cosplayers and convention-goers. “To those who are interested in cosplaying, feel free to try to celebrate your favorite mythos and to celebrate your favorite characters that you don’t think get enough love. It’s a lot of fun.”

For more information about the Wonderfully talented Valerie Perez, follow her on Facebook and Twitter.

The Thanksgiving of a Casual Gamer

For some reason, there is some negative stereotype attached to people who play video games by members of the Church where it's like if you like playing video games, you're a sinner. Well, guess what? Playing video games is not a sin. SHOCKER! Of course, anything in excess, be it alcohol, sugar or time spent in front of the TV could be seen as an addiction or an unhealthy habit, there is absolutely nothing wrong with playing appropriate video games from time to time. Some people like to read books, some people like to sew, some people like going on hikes and some people like gaming. It's not a big deal. Now, this post isn't about religion or addictions or anything like that, but I just thought I'd clarify that my appreciation of a good video game here and there doesn't make me an inherently bad person.

With that being said, I suppose I would call myself a "casual gamer." I would never call myself a "gamer" or an addict. I have played "Halo" twice in my life, I think, and I got destroyed by my friend's nine-year-old brother. It was humiliating. I have never faked an illness to get out of work on the day of a big game release. I once played "Grand Theft Auto" for five minutes and felt like a terrible person after stealing a car and bashing a couple fake characters with a baseball bat. I mainly like sports games, "Rock Band" and family-friendly games that I can play with my siblings and young nephews. Technically, only one of my nephews is currently old enough to play with me - and that basically consists of him holding a controller and looking at the screen. But one day! One day, he will be old enough to actually control his own characters and that will be a glorious day.

With Thanksgiving nigh upon us and in an effort to populate the barren blogspace known as "The Underground," I figured it might be fun to list a couple things that I am grateful for as a casual gamer. These are my thoughts:

With console backwards-compatibility now a thing of the past, I am thankful for backwards-compatible franchises like "Rock Band," "LittleBigPlanet" and "Disney Infinity." I've spent a lot of money on games like that, so I'm grateful that I don't have to go back and re-buy content every year and a half.

Speaking of, I am extremely thankful for the times when I find good deals on "Disney Infinity"... because that game is totally awesome, but, BOY, is it expensive?! Geez.

Remote mines FTW.

Remember the days of "Goldeneye" on Nintendo 64? That was one of the greatest multiplayer games of all time! I remember having "Goldeneye" parties with my brothers and friends and thinking that I could honestly play that game for the rest of my life. Looking back, those once revolutionary graphics now look like someone took a picture of Pierce Brosnan, ran over it with a truck and then slapped it on a couple polygons, but the gameplay was awesome and the parties were legendary. These days, most games only let you play multiplayer online - and I hate that because anytime you go online, you're pitted against some 17-year-old high school dropout who does nothing but sit on his butt and play video games all day long. It's not fair and it's not fun. I am thankful for games that offer local multiplayer on a split-screen so I can play with my family and friends who are right there in the same room with me. That's the good stuff right there.

Finally, I'm thankful that I got a dang good deal on a Playstation Plus membership on Black Friday last year. Twenty-five bucks for a year of free games? Oh heck yeah. Thank you, Playstation Plus, for letting me play cool games like "Tomb Raider," "Bioshock Infinite," "LittleBigPlanet Karting" and more for the very low price of FREE! Beautiful. So beautiful. If nothing else, all I want for Black Friday this weekend is another discounted membership.

It's ok, closet gamers. Embrace your nerdiness. What are you thankful for this Thanksgiving? Let me know in the comments section.

Salt Lake Comic Con: Two questions with Grant Imahara

Grant Imahara is best known for his work as a member of the Mythbusters Build Team, which spanned from 2005-2014, but also has an impressive career in many other aspects of entertainment.

As a graduate of the University of Southern California with a Bachelor’s Degree in electrical engineering, Imahara has been able to put his skills and vast knowledge to good use on television, big screen and beyond.

When he came to Salt Lake Comic Con 2014 in September, needless to say, Imahara was a pretty busy guy – so busy, in fact, that he only had time for me to ask him two questions. Of course, I had to start off by asking him about his experience on Mythbusters.

“Oh, you know, people ask me if it’s the best job in the world and it certainly is,” Imahara said. “It’s the kind of thing where they pay you to build dangerous robots, crash cars, blow things up – all while teaching science – so it’s a fantastic job.”

When asked what advice he would give to the young demographic of his fan base, with their budding interests in science, technology and electronics, Imahara responded, “The best possible thing to do is, if you’re curious about something, just dive right in. … These days, there are so many resources available. You can go online and look at videos on YouTube on how to build robots, or, if you’re interested in electronics, you can find out about circuits, you can buy kits… Just dive right in.”

Now that Imahara’s time on Mythbusters has come to an end, he makes occasional appearances on other web and TV series, and can most prominently be found portraying Lt. Hikaru Sulu in Star Trek Continues.

Danny Glover talks acting, 'Angels in the Outfield' at Salt Lake Comic Con 2014

When I tell people that I work for Salt Lake Comic Con, they generally have two responses: either "Really?" or "What's that?" How anyone at this point - especially those who live in Utah - can say that they have never heard of Salt Lake Comic Con is beyond me, but that's beside the point. While I was working during Salt Lake Comic Con 2014 in September, I had a few opportunities to mingle with the famous folks and do some interviews. Some of the interviews I got to do were pretty short. I mean, I guess the celebrities are kind of busy, you know, signing autographs and meeting thousands of their fans and stuff like that, so I'll let it slide. But, with that being said, some of these interviews are fairly concise and don't really provide enough content for me to write an article out of them. Therefore, I think I'll just post some of them here in the Underground for you lovely people to read.

One of the guests that came to the convention that I really wanted to meet was Danny Glover. He is probably most well-known for his "Lethal Weapon" movies, but I've never seen those, so that wasn't a big draw for me. But, as a child growing up in the '90s, one role that I absolutely remember Mr. Glover from was his performance as George Knox, the grumpy manager for the California Angels in Disney's "Angels in the Outfield." ("GO BACK TO CINCINNATI!") One of my goals for Comic Con was to talk to him about the movie and, perhaps, get him to sign a baseball for me. Here's the interview:

So… I actually wrote your bio that we put on our website and so I learned a lot about your career. You’ve done a lot of stage acting... Is that right?

“Yeah. … Well, I mean, it was great training for me, you know? It was a great place to start because it provides the foundation. You learn to use your body, voice... So the voice becomes an instrument, you know? And then you engage with an audience, so it’s not like you’re engaged with this one-dimensional thing, like in television – you’re engaged with an audience. I think … it was essential for my growth. … It gives you an immediate gratification, that night. So, you’ve got these 400 times that you do a performance, and each time you’re getting an immediate gratification.”

Can you tell me about “Angels in the Outfield”? That was one of my favorite movies, growing up, so I was wondering the kind of experience you had with that.

“Well, you know, it’s one of those kinds of movies – it’s a classic movie – I mean, it had been done before, but it was really… I mean, it was one of those movies that I’m surprised … what kind of legs it has, you know? And I must have seen it… When I was in the store – in the grocery store – just a few weeks after it was released, a little boy was staring at me – he may have been five, six years old – he just kept staring at me, and then I turned around – I was in the grocery department, in the fresh vegetable department – and then he looked at me and he walked away and he whispered to his mom, ‘Mom, Mom, there’s the coach.’ … That boy’s in college, finished with college now, you know? So it’s all good.”

While I was right there, I figured I'd get his autograph.

One final thing that would … make my dreams come true [would be] if you could sign my baseball. Can you do that?

“Ok. All right.”

...and then he did. My happiness defied description.

Lastly, I leave you with one of the best scenes from "Angels in the Outfield":

Fall 2014 TV preview

Remember that one time about a month ago when we all sat back and cried, "Man, there is nothing on TV!" Yeah, I remember it, too... Well, long gone are the days of "America's Got Talent" (which FINALLY had the happy ending we all wanted...) and here are the days of way-too-much-good-stuff-on-TV-to-possibly-handle-without-a-DVR. Good heavens! So many good shows starting up.

Here's what I'm excited for this fall:

Sleepy Hollow, Monday nights on FOX

Upon hearing that "Sleepy Hollow" had been renewed for a second season, I was so happy I could scarcely speak. I couldn't believe it - a new show that I was watching actually didn't get cancelled?! That NEVER happens! Incredible! For those of you who missed out on the inaugural season, let me just say... YOU MISSED OUT. Talk to me and I'll hook you up if you want to watch it. Ichabod Crane (Tom Mison), the man out of time, is, in my humble opinion, the best new character on TV and his constant struggle with modern-day technology and fashion brings a much-needed sense of humor and levity to the otherwise intense and dark premise. His relationship with Abbie Mills (Nicole Beharie) works well on screen and, let's face it, they're going to hook up eventually. That, my friends, will be a great day. And I've got to mention that the final 15 minutes of the Season One finale were about the craziest, most shocking 15 minutes of TV I watched all of last year. Seriously.

In order to bring you Season One-watchers up to speed for tonight's season premiere, check out this one-minute recap by Entertainment Weekly. SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS...

As if that weren't enough, here's a trailer for Season Two. Should be awesome. Oh, and uh... more Season One SPOILERS, of course.

Gotham, Monday nights on FOX

With "Gotham" and "Sleepy Hollow" airing back-to-back on FOX Monday nights, I'll have my DVR remote at the ready. Tonight marks the series premiere of the Batman precursor. However, rather than focusing on the Caped Crusader - or even Bruce Wayne, for that matter - this is the story of detective James Gordon (later known as Commissioner Gordon) and his rise to law enforcement super-stardom. A handful of classic villains will be at FOX's disposal, with officially hyped criminals such as the Riddler, the Penguin, Poison Ivy and Catwoman being displayed prominently in the show's marketing campaign. Jada Pinkett-Smith will star as crime-lord Fish Mooney, a new character created specifically for the show. A young Bruce Wayne is also featured, as the story starts with Gordon (played by "The O.C." alum Ben Mackenzie) begins to investigate the infamous murder of Thomas and Martha Wayne. I think this show has a lot of potential - and there's even word on the street that the Clown Prince of Crime, himself, will appear somewhere down the line. Please, please, please don't suck and don't get cancelled.

If you're not sold yet, here's a trailer:

The Voice, Monday and Tuesday nights on NBC

I may never go to FHE again. Like, seriously. When am I going to have time to watch all these shows?? If you don't know what "The Voice" is, you've either been living under a rock or you've been on a mission or something, so I won't waste time explaining how it works, but the important changes that you need to be aware of are these: that Cee-Lo and Christina have (thankfully) been replaced (again). This time, No Doubt frontwoman Gwen Stefani and oversized hat-wearer Pharrell Williams will take a spin (get it?) at coaching up-and-coming talent. Personally, I like Shakira and Usher, but we'll see how Gwen and Pharrell do. I'll also have my Reality TV Mormon radar going at full speed. Maybe we'll find ourselves a couple new additions to my world-famous list.

In case you missed it, here is a 12-minute clip of Gwen and fellow coach Blake Shelton lip-synching with Jimmy Fallon on "The Tonight Show":

Survivor: Blood vs Water 2, Wednesdays on CBS

Ah, "Survivor," my favorite show of all time. How I love "Survivor"! "Blood vs Water" is back and, I admit, I actually really liked this twist last time around. I didn't think I would, but I liked it. This time around, as opposed to the tried-and-true method of bringing back former contestants, we've got family/friend duos of completely new cast members. What could possibly go wrong with that? Wait... they WHAT?!? They cast THE TWINNIES?!?!?!?!?! AHHHHHH!!! I HATE HATE HATE THE TWINNIES! (And I very, very rarely type in all caps for prolonged periods of time, so you can probably tell how I feel about them...) Ugh, the stupid Twinnies from "The Amazing Race" will be on the show this season. I cannot begin to describe how disgusted I am at this decision. I've already put up with them for two seasons of "TAR" and now they're polluting my favorite show, "Survivor." Oh gosh. I hate them. Hopefully they'll be voted off One and Two so we can forget that this mistake ever happened. MLB wild man John Rocker is also on the show this season and that will be... interesting... I mean, I guess I kind of like him because I know him? But... the show hasn't even started yet, so who knows what kinds of shenanigans he'll try to pull. In one commercial, he tells a member of the opposing tribe that he wants to fight him, so... Also, Exile Island is back, which should be crazy, especially since castaways will be the ones to send their own loved there. Yikes.

Here's a video of iO Trendz breaking down the new cast:

The Amazing Race, Season 25, Friday nights on CBS

Another season of "The Amazing Race" begins on a new night this week - and that's not good news, as far as ratings are concerned. I have no idea what could possibly have bumped the Race from its good old time slot on Sunday nights, but now they'll air the program on Fridays. Sorry, but unless I'm sick or something, I'm not going to call off my weekend plans to stay home and watch. I'll probably DVR it and watch it on Sunday nights, anyway. I haven't done much research on the new cast, other than I know that a pair of former Survivors and a chick with one arm will be on the show, so, with that vague information, here's a video some schmoe uploaded to YouTube that's, perhaps, even more vague. I have no idea what's going on here, other than that it's the start of the race and there are lots of people watching from the sidelines. Enjoy:

Wow! How about that? Those are my shows! I should be incredibly busy trying to keep up and stay up-to-date with everything. Heck, I'm still like five episodes behind on "Falling Skies" - and that show ended a month ago. I wish I had more time for important stuff in my life... like... watching lots and lots of TV.

Did I miss anything? What are you guys looking forward to watching this fall? Leave a comment below... if you dare...

Panic! at the Disco covers Queen's "Bohemian Rhapsody"

A video of a recent Panic! at the Disco concert has gone viral, featuring the band covering Queen's immortal "Bohemian Rhapsody." Check it out in the video below:

What did you think? I thought it was pretty good, personally. But, of course, nothing will ever top this rendition:

That guy rules.

The Last Ship: The last recap

Warning: SPOILERS for the tenth episode of "The Last Ship" ("No Place Like Hom") to follow. Ye be warned.

When last we left the U.S.S. Nathan James:

• After a wild test trial on live, human subjects, Dr. Scott's vaccine is A-OK and ready to go! And not only can she vaccinate against the virus, she can cure people who have previously been infected...
• ...which is a good thing because, back in America, Commander Chandler's wife was contracted the infamous Red Flu and probably contaminated the entire Chandler clan.
• Foster is pregnant with Danny's baby.
• There's a new group of bad guys in town. We don't know much about them, but their leader (actor Titus Welliver) was a bad guy on "LOST," so you know he means business.
• Mr. Chandler (the commander's father) is working on a radio - and he's calling out for the Nathan James! He overhears a public service announcement for a place called "Olympia," that promises a disease-free community - a safe zone. Could such a place exist?

We begin tonight's episode with an almost-hallucinogenic sequence showing Chandler's wife, complete with nasty boils on her face, staring off into space at the family cabin. She, as we already clarified, was infected with the virus last episode. Mr. Chandler sits at the table, desperately calling out for his son's ship. It doesn't appear to be going well for him. Meanwhile, Chandler's son cries out, "Mama, please don't fall asleep!"

On board the Nathan James, the entire crew is being vaccinated. No more haz-mat suits for them, by the looks of it. Quincy and Bertrice help with the vaccinations. Quincy injects his chess-playing pal, Bacon, with the vaccine. While Dr. Scott is trying not to become boastful, Commander Chandler suggests that she "enjoy the moment." She vaccinates him and there are smiles all around. Let's see how long that lasts, eh? Cue that short intro video that finally makes sense. Boom.

Tex is sick. Not in the sense that he was on his death-bed last week... in the sense that he spilled his guts to Dr. Scott in the last episode, telling her, "You make me want to love again." "I actually said that!?" Tex wonders aloud. Actually, it turns out that he's speaking to a dog. There's the Tex we've all come to tolerate and accept. He's a love-sick pervert, but he's OUR love-sick pervert.

Mike and Jeter brief the crew about what to expect once they reach land. The fact of the matter is: they don't know what to expect once they reach land. Their task is to transport Dr. Scott and her equipment to a workable lab at Fort Dietrich where she can mass-produce the vaccine. Ay ay, sir. Promptly, the crew heads to the deck, where they gather for a post-vaccination group selfie. Oh. Wait. They're just trying to see if their phones have service. But it looked like they were going to take selfies. It really did. Apparently, Quincy's wife and daughter are too poor to afford cell phones or something, because they're just hugging, not looking for service. Cheapskates.

Chandler, Mike and Dr. Scott, along with Foster and a few others, gather satellite imagery to survey the land on shore. They're looking for Fort Dietrich to see if they've got a clear path to drive to the new lab. The highways look pretty clear, but they spot a giant red X spray painted on a nearby parking lot. Scott sees it as a warning sign to stay away. Rightly so, Doctor. Rightly so. They scan north a bit and find that the science base at Dietrich has been completely destroyed. Wiped out. Everything, including the lab equipment is wasted - but that's the only area in the vicinity that was taken out! Chandler believes the lab was targeted and deliberately destroyed. "Who would have done that?" Scott asks.

Back on land, Mr. Chandler is driving his sick daughter-in-law around town, headed for Olympia. He is stopped by a gun-toting group of men, who say that Olympia cannot help them. Reluctantly, Mr. Chandler obliges and puts the car in reverse. But wait! This is a CHANDLER we're talking about. "Get down," he says to his two grandkids. He throws the car back into Drive and rams it through the wooden barrier, past the militant group. One of the men removes his mask and asks if the men should go after the car. "No," says the Man in Black (Welliver). "They'll be dead soon."

The crew members inside the Nathan James' radio room have caught on to another radio signal. It's on a loop, but was updated today - and there's something that Commander Chandler needs to hear. The voice on the loop, a woman in Baltimore, says she is aware of the Nathan James' mission and has secured the facility they require. She asks the Nathan James to reply on channel One Six. There is no immediate response, but that might just mean that they're still too far outside of range to be picked up on land. Time will tell.

Mr. Chandler hears the same loop from the radio in his car. He relays the news to the commander's wife, who looks incredibly sick, and urges her to hang in there. Her husband is alive!

Quincy and his wife are arguing. Their daughter, Ava, is sad. She doubts that, after all that's happened, her parents will ever be the same again. Quincy tells Scott that he doesn't blame his wife for her unforgiveness.

The radio room has found a connection with Baltimore - it's a "Mrs. Granderson," allegedly. Could it be Lt. Granderson's mother? You remember, right? The same Lt. Granderson who unnecessarily and pointlessly revealed that she was a lesbian in episode one and hasn't really done anything since? The video finally kicks in and she is revealed to be an African-American woman who doesn't look inherently evil. She is the vice chair of the President's defense policy board and was aware of the risks and danger associated with the Nathan James' mission and the pandemic on the American homefront. As such, she had her (lesbian) daughter transferred to Chandler's crew (presumably to keep her safe from the virus?). She reveals that there has been a breakdown in infrastructure and a tremendous loss of life and the U.S. government is practically non-existant. Chandler informs her that the ship can be at Baltimore in a matter of hours. He allows Lt. Granderson to enter the room and speak with her mother. A joyous technological reunion, to be sure.

We transition back to a hideout resembling a post-war shantytown. It is the headquarters of the militant group we have encountered several times now. They have intercepted a radio call and are aware that a Navy ship will be making port in Baltimore in the next few hours. They recognize the name of the ship, the Nathan James, as the ship the radio loop has been hailing for weeks. They refer to Mrs. Granderson on a last-name basis, noting that "Granderson" is sending out a welcoming party for the ship. "Well, if they're having a party... then let's party," the Man in Black says.

A small group of Chandler's men reach shore with guns at the ready. They are greeted by a caravan of SUVs with badges saying they're from the remaining Maryland government. (Why am I always so skeptical of every person on this show?) Danny informs the man that the Navy crew is not sick. Danny checks their badges and they seem legit. The two groups greet each other, but, unbeknownst to them, the militant clan is holed up in a nearby building with sniper rifles pointed their direction. The Man in Black watches through binoculars as Chandler and a second landing crew reach the shore. Chandler, Tex and Scott greet the government officials. Another SUV pulls up. It's Granderson. Her presence seems to shock the Man in Black and his lackey. The lackey is ordered to take the shot and assassinate Granderson, but Chandler is blocking his vantage point. Granderson is warned to get back into the vehicle by one of the government officers. The lackey misses his window of opportunity and can't take the shot.

The caravan makes its way through a disease-ridden area of town. They see homeless people scavenging for food and stumbling through the streets as they make their way to a gigantic glass building - the headquarters for Granderson's government operation and a place far enough away from the city to avoid contamination. Granderson refers to "the enemy" as "Warlords," who have killed more people recently than the virus, itself. Furthermore, they raided the national archives and attempted to steal actual copies of the Constitution. Mrs. Granderson asks if the Nathan James truly had the materials to produce a vaccine and Dr. Scott does her one better by informing her that they don't just have the vaccine, they have the cure.

Mike is informed that the government had also tried to secure Fort Dietrich, but Thorwald got there first. Thorwald is the Man in Black, so now he's got a name, whether I spelled it right or not. Thorwald is former Baltimore P.D., turned self-proclaimed leader of the Warlords. Mike asks about his family. They were headed for a place called Deer Park. There was a bit of fighting at Deer Park, it turns out, but there were some survivors. Elsewhere, Mrs. Granderson shows Chandler and Scott a secure lab in the building. Scott should be able to carry on her work here. She gets a rousing slow-clap from the scientists.

The Warlord lackey informs Thorwald that the Nathan James came back with a cure. Thorwald says the only way to prevent the cure from being manufactured in bulk is to confront Granderson head-on. They plan to attack the lab.

Tex watches is awe as he oversees Dr. Scott working in her lab. "Look at her," he tells Chandler. "She's in love with a toaster." (Line of the night.) He wrongly assumed that once Scott had the cure, she'd "let loose a little." "This is her letting loose," Chandler says to a slack-jawed Tex.

Tex tells Scott that he's leaving. He's moving on. She seems confused and warns him that it's dangerous out there. He says he's got things to do. Scott references a girl whose picture Tex keeps in his locket. She offers to shake his hands. The disappointment is palpable, but Tex extends his hand, as well. "Ah.. you're a special woman. You know that?" Tex says. He pats her on the shoulder and turns to leave, but then thinks the better of it. He whips back around and plants a big old juicy one on the doctor. She doesn't seem to resist much. Then Tex leaves her in the dust. 'Atta boy.

Chandler is granted access to Mrs. Granderson's radio room. He calls out in search of his father, in Clearwater, Virginia. There is no response for quite some time. There's even a commercial break in between to prove how long he goes with no answer. But then, finally, he gets through. His father is heard, coughing, on the other end. The commander asks if the family is still at the cabin. Mr. Chandler says they are making their way toward Olympia - in Baltimore. Enthralled, the commander demands to know his father's exact location. Mrs. Granderson's team knows where they are. They're on their way! The Nathan James' crew is handed civilian clothing so they blend in better. They make their way to an auto shop and get out of the car in search for Chandler's family. They find a sick man who apparently stole the radio from Mr. Chandler. The man says the Chandlers were headed to Olympia, but several police officers object when the commander demands to get back in the vehicle and head for the safe zone. "Olympia's for sick people," they say. Jeter clarifies that the crew is immune, but the cops pull their guns on Chandler. Jeter takes action and he and Danny shoot down the opposition. Jeter is shot in the shoulder, but appears to be ok. Chandler tells Danny to take Jeter back to the ship and inform the rest of the crew that they're getting out of Baltimore. He, however, stays behind with another officer. They follow a stream of sick people to a road that leads directly to a building that says "Olympia" on it.

Back at the base, Mrs. Granderson gets off the phone and tells her daughter that "everything is under control." Lt. Granderson tells her mom that she wants to go look for her girlfriend, Sarah. The mother responds, saying that any search for Sarah would be futile at this point. She lived in Wisconsin, after all. She interrogates her daughter about Commander Chandler, asking what kind of man he is, whether the power has gone to his head and whether he will still follow orders. "Orders from who?" the daughter asks. "Mother, what's going on?" Mrs. Granderson stares back, hesitantly. Oh freak. I knew she couldn't be trusted.

Dr. Scott has noticed some discrepancies in the lab protocols. Something seems wrong. While the lab records say that the medicine they've been using has been prolonging the lives of their patients, Scott says that some of the chemicals they are using are highly toxic. The scientists starts to stammer...

Chandler and his partner (a young, African-American who is not Jeter, but looks like him), mozy on over to Olympia, strolling on in with their civilian jackets and bright blue camouflage pants. Absolutely inconspicuous, I tell you. They're blending right in. There is a team of workers in haz-mat suits and gas masks that is patting down the sick people, NSA-style. And then there's some creepy little girl in a gas mask and a tiara just wandering around the place. What is this? A costume contest? This place is an abandoned hockey arena. They're using the arena floor as a makeshift hospital, by the looks of it. (Think Louisiana Superdome, circa Hurricane Katrina.) Chandler is pacing around, looking for his family. He hears the voice of his daughter and finally finds his loved ones. They're all sick. He injects his kids with the cure and asks frantically where his wife is. Apologetically, Mr. Chandler breaks the unfortunate news: Chandler's wife passed away. While fighting back tears, the commander injects his father, then breaks down into an emotional family hug.

On the ship, Mike is planning how the crew will distribute the cure once its ready. Norris, the Baltimore official who has been leading Mike around for most of the episode waltzes into the room and... BLASTS A GUY TO HECK! What the?!? He just busted a cap and blew away one of the crew members! He's holding Mike, Quincy and Foster and gunpoint. He demands that Mike drop the anchor and open the doors to the Hilo Bay where the cure is being held. Mike vehemently refuses to comply. Quincy is looking tentative. Do it, Quincy. Do it, you nerdy man, you! Get him! Quincy bolts for Norris and... gets shot in the hip! Quincy is down! Norris reiterates that he's not joking around and will gladly pick off Mike's crew one by one if necessary. This is his ship now.

Mrs. Granderson is shown injecting herself with the cure. She has called in Dr. Scott. Scott has some questions for her about their treatment of the sick people in Baltimore. Granderson gives Scott a quick history lesson, explaining the destruction of the Black Death and the Plague. She says she understands how Scott is feeling right now, but she warns that the crew of the Nathan James has seen nothing of the devastation caused by the Red Flu. Tex is shown wandering the streets with a semi-automatic. Chandler is shows carrying his kids out of Olympia.

"You must try to see the situation from our point of view," Mrs. Granderson says. "There are people out there that would use this crisis to take what does not belong to them." Thorwald and the Warlords are shown. "They are the barbarians at the gate who want to send us into a new Dark Age. We have the power to stop them, to keep them in their place. It is my duty to help the right people first - the people whose survival will ensure the future of our entire society and all that we hold dear." Granderson's scientists are shown working in the lab. Scott asks if Granderson plans on protecting her elite few and leaving everyone else out to fend for themselves. "The virus does not discriminate. That unfortunate task falls to me," Granderson says.

Chandler is shown in a sick bay at Olympia. Sick people are being injected by men in haz-mat suits. One sick man reaches out for Chandler. He stops alongside the bed. "You're killing them!" Chandler says aloud. The men in masks tell Chandler to get out of the area. Gunshots are heard and Chandler books it out of there. The masked men call in a security breach as Chandler flees. It appears that his sidekick gunned down several security guards while the commander was investigating. Chandler and his family reach the outside gate and watch as two trucks with beds full of corpses speeds away. Mr. Chandler covers his grandchildren's eyes. Chandler realizes the sick truth: "They're burning the bodies to power the city." Legit chills right there.

Mrs. Granderson tells Dr. Scott, "In time, you'll see that this is the only way." Lt. Granderson is escorted into the room. She was caught trying to flee. She desperately apologizes to Scott, swearing that she had no idea that her mother was the spawn of Satan (my words, not hers). Scott tells Mrs. Granderson that she will not be able to replicate the cure with the doses she brought to Baltimore. The real good stuff is on the ship. And, as Lt. Granderson points out, the captain will never let them get it.

Commander Chandler attempts to call in to the Nathan James. There is no answer. The entire crew is being led out to the deck, just as Norris demanded. Quincy's family and Bertrice are among them. As they reach the deck, they look off into the distance and see three pairs of headlights shining right at them. It sounds like helicopters. Mike hears the radio call, but he is still being held at gunpoint by Norris as Foster holds a bloody Quincy on the ground.

"Nathan James, where are you?"

--

Here's what we learned:

• Chandler's dad and kids are alive (and now cured). His wife is dead.
• Lt. Granderson's mom is in some position of authority. The militant group, now known as the Warlords, want her dead.
• Tex took off to do his own thing.
• Jeter is hurt, but still alive. Danny is taking him back to the ship.
• Back on the ship, Quincy is bleeding out, Mike is being held at gunpoint and Officer Norris wants to take control of Dr. Scott's lab. The rest of the crew is standing on the deck and three helicopters are headed right for them.
• Chandler and his remaining family members are outside Olympia, which is NOT a safe zone. It's a freaking internment camp. Granderson has set up some huge operation to kill sick people and burn their bodies to power specific parts of the city.
• Mrs. Granderson is an absolute maniac. She's got her daughter and Dr. Scott held hostage, basically, and she is calling the shots.

--

Holy crap! I'll tell you what... For a show that started out a little slow, that finale was incredible. No joke, I got chills during a couple parts of it. Wild stuff going down on the Nathan James, ladies and gentlemen! What did you think of the finale? How did you like the inaugural season? What questions do you want answered in season two? The show has already been renewed for a second season, so we'll be back in a few months to see what happens! I'm not sure that I'll keep recapping the episodes like I have been because it takes a dang long time and only a few of us are actually reading it, but you can bet that I'll still be watching! Crazy show. I liked it. We'll catch you cats later for the continuing adventures of Commander Tom Chandler and "The Last Ship."

Total World Domination

Let’s face it. Those three words tend to strike fear into the hearts of men. No one wants to be dominated. Everyone wants to have choices. However, the world domination I am talking about is something I would totally jump on board with, and it all comes down to one word. Disney. Yes, you heard me. Disney is taking over the world. For some of you this may be difficult to believe, but let me just take a few minutes to prove my point.

First of all, Disney reigns in the amusement park industry. Millions of people visit Disney parks all over the world each year because they have it figured out. For me Disneyland is my Mecca. Not only do they have fantastic rides, friendly employees, and memorable characters, they also have that special something. The magic you feel when entering a Disney park is second to none. It doesn’t matter if you are nine or ninety Disney has something for everyone. Every other amusement park tries to live up to Disney’s standards and personally I think that they are light years behind.

Secondly, Disney reigns in the film industry. Who could forget their first time seeing Beauty and the Beast, the Lion King, or Tangled? With amazing animation, wonderful story telling, and catchy music, (“Let it Go” anyone?) Disney has found a way to please both children and adult.

Last but not least, Marvel. Disney made one of its greatest moves in purchasing Marvel. Marvel continues to release blockbuster after blockbuster and I don’t see that stopping anytime soon. With movies planned far into the future, Disney has secured itself.

So, as Disney continues to conquer the world, I will continue to be ready for it. After all, who wouldn’t want everywhere to be the happiest place on earth? Let’s just keep It’s a Small World tucked away in a dark corner.

The Last Ship: The ninth recap

Warning: SPOILERS for the ninth episode of "The Last Ship" ("Trials") to follow. Ye be warned.

When last we left the U.S.S. Nathan James:

• Our good pals the Russians had Commander Chandler and Tex held captive on their ship.
• Dr. Scott has a vaccine that she claims works. She boarded the Russian ship and injected one of the Russian officers with it to ensure that it worked.
• Scott encountered that freaky scientist, who would later be identified as "Patient Zero," the moron who jacked up the virus and destroyed half the planet.
• Well, we never actually found out whether or not the vaccine worked because Mike sent an extraction crew to save Chandler, Tex and Scott and they succeeded in blowing the evil Admiral Ruskov and his crew to heck while they were at it. Patient Zero and Admiral Ruskov are presumed dead.
• Also, Cossetti died. So sad.

We start the episode back on land. An old guy is dragging a dead deer past a sign that clearly says that hunting is prohibited. Perhaps the man is illiterate. He is bringing the deer back to a trailer home, but a voice from inside the house tells him not to come any closer. One of the home's female residents has contracted the "Red Flu." "She didn't see the X," the voice says. Ah, the mysterious red X that we've seen in the intro video! The old man spray paints a giant X on the side of the house, which, I assume, means that the people who live there have contracted the virus. "Keep away," basically. The man walks back to a regular-sized home. It looks like a cabin. He enters the house and is greeted by an adult woman and two children - a boy and a girl... AHA! Could this be Commander Chandler's family? At the beginning of the season, they were able to get in contact with the Nathan James and told the commander that they were all healthy and staying at a family cabin. A conversation between the man and the woman confirms it: this is Chandler's father and wife. Cue the intro video.

Speaking of things being confirmed, Cossetti is officially dead. Meanwhile, Scott releases her final monkey, as it is no longer needed for vaccine testing. Scott will be moving on to human testing. Tex seems confused. Scott clarifies: she will be giving six crew members the vaccine prototype and then inject them with the virus. Tex doesn't think that's a good idea.Then they make out. Just kidding. They don't.

Bertrice, that Jamaican girl the crew picked up a couple episodes back, is listening to the last recorded S.O.S. calls from her shipmates. She says she wanted to hear the man's voice again - but not like that. Tears are welling up in her eyes. If you can recall, Bertrice survived because she is immune to the virus. Her blood helped create Dr. Scott's vaccine. She has a vested interest in the success of the prototype because it will be "[her] blood flowing through those people."

Cossetti is given a proper burial at sea. Mike, Jeter and Chandler discuss how, exactly, Dr. Scott will be able to run the vaccine trials in a timely manner. Due to several complications, Chandler feels the need to volunteer as a test subject. Jeter agrees that someone in a leadership position needs to set an example; he has had Dr. Scott prepare him for testing, as well. He passed all the background checks and has been cleared to go ahead with it. Jeter says that God put him on the ship for a reason. "Maybe this is it," he says. Oh great. He's going to die.

Quincy thanks Chandler for saving his family from the Russians. As you undoubtedly remember, the Americans rescued Quincy's blackmailed wife and daughter during last week's escape from Red October. Quincy seems genuinely apologetic. The odd-looking scientist begins running medical checks for crew members as part of the search for vaccine guinea pigs. Danny and Tex are among the volunteers, much to the surprise of Mike and Chandler.

From the looks of it, Foster are among the six ultimately selected to be used as test subjects. She explains to her former flame, Danny, that Dr. Scott wants the volunteers to bring some sentimental belongings with them into the lab. They might be there for a few days. Foster was apparently some kind of beauty queen. She must come from a small town.

Tex joins Jeter and Foster among the six test subjects. Scott calls the six crew members "remarkable people" in a remarkably bad bit of acting. She is either trying to act emotional in this scene or she legitimately can't remember her lines. Either way, it's not good. Speaking of "not good," what are the odds of at least one person dying from the virus in this scenario? Pretty good, I'd imagine, right? Eighty, 90 percent? Somebody's not going to make it out of here alive.

EVERYBODY LOOK OUT! IT'S THE STAY-PUFT MARSHMALLOW WOMAN!! Oh wait... It's just Dr. Scott in her enormous, white lab suit. Man, that freaked me out for a second. Anyhoo, she starts injecting people with the vaccine and we're off to a commercial.

Back on land, Chandler's wife is looking for an electronic capacitor in a run-down computer store of some sort. Whilst scavenging, a man in black ("LOST" reference because it's the actor who played the "Man in Black" on "LOST"...) guns down a woman in a rainy alleyway. Looked like the chick was infected, so I guess that means she deserved it? The man is with a group of other dudes who are packing heat and they seem pretty upset that somebody breached the area. Chandler's wife books it outta there, but guess what?? There is a dead guy on the ground in the shop. He looks infected, too. Dun dun dun...... Yeah... The Man in Black sprays an X on the door. Oh crap. Chandler's wife!!

Back in the testing lab, Jeter plays some Jamaican music for Bertrice, who, amazingly, is not brought back to tears at the thought of her deceased friends, and the rest of the guinea pigs bob their heads to the music like people who are clearly not Jamaican. Tex flirts with Dr. Scott, who is not impressed. Foster, on the other hand, thought it was a decent attempt. Others in the quarantine room are talking about their families and loved ones. One woman says, "Better to not have a child than to not be there when they need you." Obvious foreshadowing, as this conversation follows Chandler telling Mike about one of his children being born pre-mature.

The patients eventually start to show symptoms of the so-called "Red Flu" virus. Foster has a fever. The nerdy white guy that was shown briefly last week has a sore throat. The Black chick he was trying unsuccessfully to hit on says she is so tired that she can't lift her arm. Jeter is fine... because he's a baller. Tex tries to impress Dr. Scott again and she actually smiles for once. Go figure. Perhaps there is hope for him, after all. Tex starts telling Foster that he thinks he can see a future with the doctor, but Foster's eyes go lifeless and she starts to have a seizure. After some quick work by Scott, Quincy and Bertrice, Foster's temperature subsides and the seizure calms. She's fine. After some further examination, Dr. Scott assumes they may have overlooked something in Foster's medical history. They'll make an effort to bolster the other patients' immune systems, as to prevent any further mishaps with the vaccine.

The patient who was talking to Dr. Scott about her family is having trouble using her arms. She is unable to hold onto a clipboard that Quincy offers her. Tex has a nasty, nasty rash all over his back and shoulders. He says he doesn't know when it started and that it doesn't itch. Quincy looks spooked. He wonders if the vaccine even works in the first place. He suggests that the symptoms of the virus may have evolved since they first started working on the vaccine. The patients are delirious. Like, they're going insane. All of them. The Black chick has an intense nosebleed and appears to be lifeless and the show cuts to a commercial. Hands down, the creepiest scene of the entire season, thus far. Yikes.

Back in America, Chandler's potentially infected wife and father are listening to a radio. Apparently, that's why they needed the conductor. A message that sounds like a public service announcement says that progress is being made to treat the Red Flu. "Come to Olympia. We can help." The father is skeptical that any successful treatment is out there at all. He cites several other false claims of a cure and doubts that this "Olympia" is any different. Chandler's wife speculates that somebody out there has to be making progress.

The chick with the nosebleed is zipped up into a body bag. She's gone. Scott is crying. Quincy tells Chandler that he thinks the vaccine isn't working. Scott vehemently denies it, saying that the woman, Maya, died of a heart attack, which isn't a know symptom of the virus. Quincy suggests "passive immunization," meaning that they would inject Bertrice's immune antibodies directly into the test subjects, but Scott says the amount of blood that would take would kill the young girl. Bertrice is willing to comply and, against Dr. Scott's wishes, the process begins.

Quincy hands Scott Foster's "test results" and Scott looks positively annoyed. Chandler approaches Danny on the deck and gives him the news: Foster is pregnant... and, in the words of Maury Povich, "You ARE the father!" Danny dons a Stay-Puft suit and visits Foster, saying, "Don't you dare leave me."

Quincy finds Scott, who is practically in the fetal position, crying like a wuss, and informs her that the passive immunization hasn't been working. In fact, the symptoms are getting even worse. The good news, however, is that Bertrice is fine. Scott plunges even further into self-doubt, accepting defeat and wondering why she thought she could solve the world's biggest problem in the first place. She stares at the last monkey, which is sitting across from her in a box, and asks, "Why did it work on you?"

The rest of the crew has been permitted to make visits to the test patients. They're all pretty shaken up about these developments, of course, and death seems pretty much imminent for our six little guinea pigs. Chandler puts on a suit and steps inside the lab. Tex looks like he is barely hanging on. Chandler, emotionless, kneels by Jeter, saying, "When they tell the story about the Great Plague in the 21st Century, they'll talk about you. The Six."

Dr. Scott storms back into the room. "Blah blah blah medical nonsense mumbo-jumbo blah blah blah." Basically, what she's trying to say is that Patient Zero's modified version of the virus tricks human immune systems into attacking themselves. The vaccine worked on the monkey because it didn't have any human DNA to attack. After spewing even more unintelligible rubbish, she says that the only way to reverse the problems being manifested in the test subjects is to send in that primordial strain that they found in the Arctic at the beginning of the season as a "Trojan horse." Just like that, the team of scientists begins to inject the primordial strain into the subjects' IV streams.

Bertrice wakes up sad, thinking that her part in the passive immunization had failed. She sits up to see that the five remaining test subjects are recovering and looking, well, better, I guess. In this case, "alive" is "better." Tex cracks a joke about Dr. Scott and the other four muster the strength to chuckle. Dr. Scott tells Danny that his baby will be born immune to the virus. I suppose that means that the five survivors have developed an immunity, as well. Yippee. Scott confirms it: "We don't just have a vaccine... We have the cure... We can save people who are already sick." Hugs all around.

Back on land, Chandler's young son shows off a nifty handmade drawing of the U.S.S. Nathan James. Mr. Chandler has got his radio up and running again. He's sending out a call for his son's ship. But all is not well - Commander Chandler's wife pauses at the sink for a moment to wipe the sweat from her brow. A fever, perhaps?

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Here's what we learned:

• I'm pretty sure the Russians actually are dead because it's looks like we've got a new group of villains back on land.
• Dr. Scott's vaccination of the Russian officer last week wouldn't have worked. However, she's got everything patched up and ready to go now. It's not only a vaccine - it's the cure! And they will be able to take that mamma jamma back to America and save everyone who has contracted the sickness.
• But they better hurry because Chandler's wife is sick and has, unbeknownst to everyone at Cabin Chandler, infected his father and both of his kids, too.

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Oh baby. What an episode we had tonight, huh? I'm serious when I say that the scene with the delirium was the freakiest thing we've seen all season. Gave me the dang chills! Thankfully, it looks like we won't be stuck on the ship much longer because next week's season finale (!!) has got Chandler and the crew back on American soil with vaccine in hand and crosshairs in sight. We're gonna have ourselves an old-fashioned barn-burner of an episode next Sunday, ladies and gentlemen, as Chandler races to find his family and the Man in Black and his team, apparently, have their sights set on the crew of the U.S.S. Nathan James. We'll see you then, as I wrap up my recaps for Season One of "The Last Ship."