The Last Ship: The last recap

Warning: SPOILERS for the tenth episode of "The Last Ship" ("No Place Like Hom") to follow. Ye be warned.

When last we left the U.S.S. Nathan James:

• After a wild test trial on live, human subjects, Dr. Scott's vaccine is A-OK and ready to go! And not only can she vaccinate against the virus, she can cure people who have previously been infected...
• ...which is a good thing because, back in America, Commander Chandler's wife was contracted the infamous Red Flu and probably contaminated the entire Chandler clan.
• Foster is pregnant with Danny's baby.
• There's a new group of bad guys in town. We don't know much about them, but their leader (actor Titus Welliver) was a bad guy on "LOST," so you know he means business.
• Mr. Chandler (the commander's father) is working on a radio - and he's calling out for the Nathan James! He overhears a public service announcement for a place called "Olympia," that promises a disease-free community - a safe zone. Could such a place exist?

We begin tonight's episode with an almost-hallucinogenic sequence showing Chandler's wife, complete with nasty boils on her face, staring off into space at the family cabin. She, as we already clarified, was infected with the virus last episode. Mr. Chandler sits at the table, desperately calling out for his son's ship. It doesn't appear to be going well for him. Meanwhile, Chandler's son cries out, "Mama, please don't fall asleep!"

On board the Nathan James, the entire crew is being vaccinated. No more haz-mat suits for them, by the looks of it. Quincy and Bertrice help with the vaccinations. Quincy injects his chess-playing pal, Bacon, with the vaccine. While Dr. Scott is trying not to become boastful, Commander Chandler suggests that she "enjoy the moment." She vaccinates him and there are smiles all around. Let's see how long that lasts, eh? Cue that short intro video that finally makes sense. Boom.

Tex is sick. Not in the sense that he was on his death-bed last week... in the sense that he spilled his guts to Dr. Scott in the last episode, telling her, "You make me want to love again." "I actually said that!?" Tex wonders aloud. Actually, it turns out that he's speaking to a dog. There's the Tex we've all come to tolerate and accept. He's a love-sick pervert, but he's OUR love-sick pervert.

Mike and Jeter brief the crew about what to expect once they reach land. The fact of the matter is: they don't know what to expect once they reach land. Their task is to transport Dr. Scott and her equipment to a workable lab at Fort Dietrich where she can mass-produce the vaccine. Ay ay, sir. Promptly, the crew heads to the deck, where they gather for a post-vaccination group selfie. Oh. Wait. They're just trying to see if their phones have service. But it looked like they were going to take selfies. It really did. Apparently, Quincy's wife and daughter are too poor to afford cell phones or something, because they're just hugging, not looking for service. Cheapskates.

Chandler, Mike and Dr. Scott, along with Foster and a few others, gather satellite imagery to survey the land on shore. They're looking for Fort Dietrich to see if they've got a clear path to drive to the new lab. The highways look pretty clear, but they spot a giant red X spray painted on a nearby parking lot. Scott sees it as a warning sign to stay away. Rightly so, Doctor. Rightly so. They scan north a bit and find that the science base at Dietrich has been completely destroyed. Wiped out. Everything, including the lab equipment is wasted - but that's the only area in the vicinity that was taken out! Chandler believes the lab was targeted and deliberately destroyed. "Who would have done that?" Scott asks.

Back on land, Mr. Chandler is driving his sick daughter-in-law around town, headed for Olympia. He is stopped by a gun-toting group of men, who say that Olympia cannot help them. Reluctantly, Mr. Chandler obliges and puts the car in reverse. But wait! This is a CHANDLER we're talking about. "Get down," he says to his two grandkids. He throws the car back into Drive and rams it through the wooden barrier, past the militant group. One of the men removes his mask and asks if the men should go after the car. "No," says the Man in Black (Welliver). "They'll be dead soon."

The crew members inside the Nathan James' radio room have caught on to another radio signal. It's on a loop, but was updated today - and there's something that Commander Chandler needs to hear. The voice on the loop, a woman in Baltimore, says she is aware of the Nathan James' mission and has secured the facility they require. She asks the Nathan James to reply on channel One Six. There is no immediate response, but that might just mean that they're still too far outside of range to be picked up on land. Time will tell.

Mr. Chandler hears the same loop from the radio in his car. He relays the news to the commander's wife, who looks incredibly sick, and urges her to hang in there. Her husband is alive!

Quincy and his wife are arguing. Their daughter, Ava, is sad. She doubts that, after all that's happened, her parents will ever be the same again. Quincy tells Scott that he doesn't blame his wife for her unforgiveness.

The radio room has found a connection with Baltimore - it's a "Mrs. Granderson," allegedly. Could it be Lt. Granderson's mother? You remember, right? The same Lt. Granderson who unnecessarily and pointlessly revealed that she was a lesbian in episode one and hasn't really done anything since? The video finally kicks in and she is revealed to be an African-American woman who doesn't look inherently evil. She is the vice chair of the President's defense policy board and was aware of the risks and danger associated with the Nathan James' mission and the pandemic on the American homefront. As such, she had her (lesbian) daughter transferred to Chandler's crew (presumably to keep her safe from the virus?). She reveals that there has been a breakdown in infrastructure and a tremendous loss of life and the U.S. government is practically non-existant. Chandler informs her that the ship can be at Baltimore in a matter of hours. He allows Lt. Granderson to enter the room and speak with her mother. A joyous technological reunion, to be sure.

We transition back to a hideout resembling a post-war shantytown. It is the headquarters of the militant group we have encountered several times now. They have intercepted a radio call and are aware that a Navy ship will be making port in Baltimore in the next few hours. They recognize the name of the ship, the Nathan James, as the ship the radio loop has been hailing for weeks. They refer to Mrs. Granderson on a last-name basis, noting that "Granderson" is sending out a welcoming party for the ship. "Well, if they're having a party... then let's party," the Man in Black says.

A small group of Chandler's men reach shore with guns at the ready. They are greeted by a caravan of SUVs with badges saying they're from the remaining Maryland government. (Why am I always so skeptical of every person on this show?) Danny informs the man that the Navy crew is not sick. Danny checks their badges and they seem legit. The two groups greet each other, but, unbeknownst to them, the militant clan is holed up in a nearby building with sniper rifles pointed their direction. The Man in Black watches through binoculars as Chandler and a second landing crew reach the shore. Chandler, Tex and Scott greet the government officials. Another SUV pulls up. It's Granderson. Her presence seems to shock the Man in Black and his lackey. The lackey is ordered to take the shot and assassinate Granderson, but Chandler is blocking his vantage point. Granderson is warned to get back into the vehicle by one of the government officers. The lackey misses his window of opportunity and can't take the shot.

The caravan makes its way through a disease-ridden area of town. They see homeless people scavenging for food and stumbling through the streets as they make their way to a gigantic glass building - the headquarters for Granderson's government operation and a place far enough away from the city to avoid contamination. Granderson refers to "the enemy" as "Warlords," who have killed more people recently than the virus, itself. Furthermore, they raided the national archives and attempted to steal actual copies of the Constitution. Mrs. Granderson asks if the Nathan James truly had the materials to produce a vaccine and Dr. Scott does her one better by informing her that they don't just have the vaccine, they have the cure.

Mike is informed that the government had also tried to secure Fort Dietrich, but Thorwald got there first. Thorwald is the Man in Black, so now he's got a name, whether I spelled it right or not. Thorwald is former Baltimore P.D., turned self-proclaimed leader of the Warlords. Mike asks about his family. They were headed for a place called Deer Park. There was a bit of fighting at Deer Park, it turns out, but there were some survivors. Elsewhere, Mrs. Granderson shows Chandler and Scott a secure lab in the building. Scott should be able to carry on her work here. She gets a rousing slow-clap from the scientists.

The Warlord lackey informs Thorwald that the Nathan James came back with a cure. Thorwald says the only way to prevent the cure from being manufactured in bulk is to confront Granderson head-on. They plan to attack the lab.

Tex watches is awe as he oversees Dr. Scott working in her lab. "Look at her," he tells Chandler. "She's in love with a toaster." (Line of the night.) He wrongly assumed that once Scott had the cure, she'd "let loose a little." "This is her letting loose," Chandler says to a slack-jawed Tex.

Tex tells Scott that he's leaving. He's moving on. She seems confused and warns him that it's dangerous out there. He says he's got things to do. Scott references a girl whose picture Tex keeps in his locket. She offers to shake his hands. The disappointment is palpable, but Tex extends his hand, as well. "Ah.. you're a special woman. You know that?" Tex says. He pats her on the shoulder and turns to leave, but then thinks the better of it. He whips back around and plants a big old juicy one on the doctor. She doesn't seem to resist much. Then Tex leaves her in the dust. 'Atta boy.

Chandler is granted access to Mrs. Granderson's radio room. He calls out in search of his father, in Clearwater, Virginia. There is no response for quite some time. There's even a commercial break in between to prove how long he goes with no answer. But then, finally, he gets through. His father is heard, coughing, on the other end. The commander asks if the family is still at the cabin. Mr. Chandler says they are making their way toward Olympia - in Baltimore. Enthralled, the commander demands to know his father's exact location. Mrs. Granderson's team knows where they are. They're on their way! The Nathan James' crew is handed civilian clothing so they blend in better. They make their way to an auto shop and get out of the car in search for Chandler's family. They find a sick man who apparently stole the radio from Mr. Chandler. The man says the Chandlers were headed to Olympia, but several police officers object when the commander demands to get back in the vehicle and head for the safe zone. "Olympia's for sick people," they say. Jeter clarifies that the crew is immune, but the cops pull their guns on Chandler. Jeter takes action and he and Danny shoot down the opposition. Jeter is shot in the shoulder, but appears to be ok. Chandler tells Danny to take Jeter back to the ship and inform the rest of the crew that they're getting out of Baltimore. He, however, stays behind with another officer. They follow a stream of sick people to a road that leads directly to a building that says "Olympia" on it.

Back at the base, Mrs. Granderson gets off the phone and tells her daughter that "everything is under control." Lt. Granderson tells her mom that she wants to go look for her girlfriend, Sarah. The mother responds, saying that any search for Sarah would be futile at this point. She lived in Wisconsin, after all. She interrogates her daughter about Commander Chandler, asking what kind of man he is, whether the power has gone to his head and whether he will still follow orders. "Orders from who?" the daughter asks. "Mother, what's going on?" Mrs. Granderson stares back, hesitantly. Oh freak. I knew she couldn't be trusted.

Dr. Scott has noticed some discrepancies in the lab protocols. Something seems wrong. While the lab records say that the medicine they've been using has been prolonging the lives of their patients, Scott says that some of the chemicals they are using are highly toxic. The scientists starts to stammer...

Chandler and his partner (a young, African-American who is not Jeter, but looks like him), mozy on over to Olympia, strolling on in with their civilian jackets and bright blue camouflage pants. Absolutely inconspicuous, I tell you. They're blending right in. There is a team of workers in haz-mat suits and gas masks that is patting down the sick people, NSA-style. And then there's some creepy little girl in a gas mask and a tiara just wandering around the place. What is this? A costume contest? This place is an abandoned hockey arena. They're using the arena floor as a makeshift hospital, by the looks of it. (Think Louisiana Superdome, circa Hurricane Katrina.) Chandler is pacing around, looking for his family. He hears the voice of his daughter and finally finds his loved ones. They're all sick. He injects his kids with the cure and asks frantically where his wife is. Apologetically, Mr. Chandler breaks the unfortunate news: Chandler's wife passed away. While fighting back tears, the commander injects his father, then breaks down into an emotional family hug.

On the ship, Mike is planning how the crew will distribute the cure once its ready. Norris, the Baltimore official who has been leading Mike around for most of the episode waltzes into the room and... BLASTS A GUY TO HECK! What the?!? He just busted a cap and blew away one of the crew members! He's holding Mike, Quincy and Foster and gunpoint. He demands that Mike drop the anchor and open the doors to the Hilo Bay where the cure is being held. Mike vehemently refuses to comply. Quincy is looking tentative. Do it, Quincy. Do it, you nerdy man, you! Get him! Quincy bolts for Norris and... gets shot in the hip! Quincy is down! Norris reiterates that he's not joking around and will gladly pick off Mike's crew one by one if necessary. This is his ship now.

Mrs. Granderson is shown injecting herself with the cure. She has called in Dr. Scott. Scott has some questions for her about their treatment of the sick people in Baltimore. Granderson gives Scott a quick history lesson, explaining the destruction of the Black Death and the Plague. She says she understands how Scott is feeling right now, but she warns that the crew of the Nathan James has seen nothing of the devastation caused by the Red Flu. Tex is shown wandering the streets with a semi-automatic. Chandler is shows carrying his kids out of Olympia.

"You must try to see the situation from our point of view," Mrs. Granderson says. "There are people out there that would use this crisis to take what does not belong to them." Thorwald and the Warlords are shown. "They are the barbarians at the gate who want to send us into a new Dark Age. We have the power to stop them, to keep them in their place. It is my duty to help the right people first - the people whose survival will ensure the future of our entire society and all that we hold dear." Granderson's scientists are shown working in the lab. Scott asks if Granderson plans on protecting her elite few and leaving everyone else out to fend for themselves. "The virus does not discriminate. That unfortunate task falls to me," Granderson says.

Chandler is shown in a sick bay at Olympia. Sick people are being injected by men in haz-mat suits. One sick man reaches out for Chandler. He stops alongside the bed. "You're killing them!" Chandler says aloud. The men in masks tell Chandler to get out of the area. Gunshots are heard and Chandler books it out of there. The masked men call in a security breach as Chandler flees. It appears that his sidekick gunned down several security guards while the commander was investigating. Chandler and his family reach the outside gate and watch as two trucks with beds full of corpses speeds away. Mr. Chandler covers his grandchildren's eyes. Chandler realizes the sick truth: "They're burning the bodies to power the city." Legit chills right there.

Mrs. Granderson tells Dr. Scott, "In time, you'll see that this is the only way." Lt. Granderson is escorted into the room. She was caught trying to flee. She desperately apologizes to Scott, swearing that she had no idea that her mother was the spawn of Satan (my words, not hers). Scott tells Mrs. Granderson that she will not be able to replicate the cure with the doses she brought to Baltimore. The real good stuff is on the ship. And, as Lt. Granderson points out, the captain will never let them get it.

Commander Chandler attempts to call in to the Nathan James. There is no answer. The entire crew is being led out to the deck, just as Norris demanded. Quincy's family and Bertrice are among them. As they reach the deck, they look off into the distance and see three pairs of headlights shining right at them. It sounds like helicopters. Mike hears the radio call, but he is still being held at gunpoint by Norris as Foster holds a bloody Quincy on the ground.

"Nathan James, where are you?"

--

Here's what we learned:

• Chandler's dad and kids are alive (and now cured). His wife is dead.
• Lt. Granderson's mom is in some position of authority. The militant group, now known as the Warlords, want her dead.
• Tex took off to do his own thing.
• Jeter is hurt, but still alive. Danny is taking him back to the ship.
• Back on the ship, Quincy is bleeding out, Mike is being held at gunpoint and Officer Norris wants to take control of Dr. Scott's lab. The rest of the crew is standing on the deck and three helicopters are headed right for them.
• Chandler and his remaining family members are outside Olympia, which is NOT a safe zone. It's a freaking internment camp. Granderson has set up some huge operation to kill sick people and burn their bodies to power specific parts of the city.
• Mrs. Granderson is an absolute maniac. She's got her daughter and Dr. Scott held hostage, basically, and she is calling the shots.

--

Holy crap! I'll tell you what... For a show that started out a little slow, that finale was incredible. No joke, I got chills during a couple parts of it. Wild stuff going down on the Nathan James, ladies and gentlemen! What did you think of the finale? How did you like the inaugural season? What questions do you want answered in season two? The show has already been renewed for a second season, so we'll be back in a few months to see what happens! I'm not sure that I'll keep recapping the episodes like I have been because it takes a dang long time and only a few of us are actually reading it, but you can bet that I'll still be watching! Crazy show. I liked it. We'll catch you cats later for the continuing adventures of Commander Tom Chandler and "The Last Ship."

Total World Domination

Let’s face it. Those three words tend to strike fear into the hearts of men. No one wants to be dominated. Everyone wants to have choices. However, the world domination I am talking about is something I would totally jump on board with, and it all comes down to one word. Disney. Yes, you heard me. Disney is taking over the world. For some of you this may be difficult to believe, but let me just take a few minutes to prove my point.

First of all, Disney reigns in the amusement park industry. Millions of people visit Disney parks all over the world each year because they have it figured out. For me Disneyland is my Mecca. Not only do they have fantastic rides, friendly employees, and memorable characters, they also have that special something. The magic you feel when entering a Disney park is second to none. It doesn’t matter if you are nine or ninety Disney has something for everyone. Every other amusement park tries to live up to Disney’s standards and personally I think that they are light years behind.

Secondly, Disney reigns in the film industry. Who could forget their first time seeing Beauty and the Beast, the Lion King, or Tangled? With amazing animation, wonderful story telling, and catchy music, (“Let it Go” anyone?) Disney has found a way to please both children and adult.

Last but not least, Marvel. Disney made one of its greatest moves in purchasing Marvel. Marvel continues to release blockbuster after blockbuster and I don’t see that stopping anytime soon. With movies planned far into the future, Disney has secured itself.

So, as Disney continues to conquer the world, I will continue to be ready for it. After all, who wouldn’t want everywhere to be the happiest place on earth? Let’s just keep It’s a Small World tucked away in a dark corner.

The Last Ship: The ninth recap

Warning: SPOILERS for the ninth episode of "The Last Ship" ("Trials") to follow. Ye be warned.

When last we left the U.S.S. Nathan James:

• Our good pals the Russians had Commander Chandler and Tex held captive on their ship.
• Dr. Scott has a vaccine that she claims works. She boarded the Russian ship and injected one of the Russian officers with it to ensure that it worked.
• Scott encountered that freaky scientist, who would later be identified as "Patient Zero," the moron who jacked up the virus and destroyed half the planet.
• Well, we never actually found out whether or not the vaccine worked because Mike sent an extraction crew to save Chandler, Tex and Scott and they succeeded in blowing the evil Admiral Ruskov and his crew to heck while they were at it. Patient Zero and Admiral Ruskov are presumed dead.
• Also, Cossetti died. So sad.

We start the episode back on land. An old guy is dragging a dead deer past a sign that clearly says that hunting is prohibited. Perhaps the man is illiterate. He is bringing the deer back to a trailer home, but a voice from inside the house tells him not to come any closer. One of the home's female residents has contracted the "Red Flu." "She didn't see the X," the voice says. Ah, the mysterious red X that we've seen in the intro video! The old man spray paints a giant X on the side of the house, which, I assume, means that the people who live there have contracted the virus. "Keep away," basically. The man walks back to a regular-sized home. It looks like a cabin. He enters the house and is greeted by an adult woman and two children - a boy and a girl... AHA! Could this be Commander Chandler's family? At the beginning of the season, they were able to get in contact with the Nathan James and told the commander that they were all healthy and staying at a family cabin. A conversation between the man and the woman confirms it: this is Chandler's father and wife. Cue the intro video.

Speaking of things being confirmed, Cossetti is officially dead. Meanwhile, Scott releases her final monkey, as it is no longer needed for vaccine testing. Scott will be moving on to human testing. Tex seems confused. Scott clarifies: she will be giving six crew members the vaccine prototype and then inject them with the virus. Tex doesn't think that's a good idea.Then they make out. Just kidding. They don't.

Bertrice, that Jamaican girl the crew picked up a couple episodes back, is listening to the last recorded S.O.S. calls from her shipmates. She says she wanted to hear the man's voice again - but not like that. Tears are welling up in her eyes. If you can recall, Bertrice survived because she is immune to the virus. Her blood helped create Dr. Scott's vaccine. She has a vested interest in the success of the prototype because it will be "[her] blood flowing through those people."

Cossetti is given a proper burial at sea. Mike, Jeter and Chandler discuss how, exactly, Dr. Scott will be able to run the vaccine trials in a timely manner. Due to several complications, Chandler feels the need to volunteer as a test subject. Jeter agrees that someone in a leadership position needs to set an example; he has had Dr. Scott prepare him for testing, as well. He passed all the background checks and has been cleared to go ahead with it. Jeter says that God put him on the ship for a reason. "Maybe this is it," he says. Oh great. He's going to die.

Quincy thanks Chandler for saving his family from the Russians. As you undoubtedly remember, the Americans rescued Quincy's blackmailed wife and daughter during last week's escape from Red October. Quincy seems genuinely apologetic. The odd-looking scientist begins running medical checks for crew members as part of the search for vaccine guinea pigs. Danny and Tex are among the volunteers, much to the surprise of Mike and Chandler.

From the looks of it, Foster are among the six ultimately selected to be used as test subjects. She explains to her former flame, Danny, that Dr. Scott wants the volunteers to bring some sentimental belongings with them into the lab. They might be there for a few days. Foster was apparently some kind of beauty queen. She must come from a small town.

Tex joins Jeter and Foster among the six test subjects. Scott calls the six crew members "remarkable people" in a remarkably bad bit of acting. She is either trying to act emotional in this scene or she legitimately can't remember her lines. Either way, it's not good. Speaking of "not good," what are the odds of at least one person dying from the virus in this scenario? Pretty good, I'd imagine, right? Eighty, 90 percent? Somebody's not going to make it out of here alive.

EVERYBODY LOOK OUT! IT'S THE STAY-PUFT MARSHMALLOW WOMAN!! Oh wait... It's just Dr. Scott in her enormous, white lab suit. Man, that freaked me out for a second. Anyhoo, she starts injecting people with the vaccine and we're off to a commercial.

Back on land, Chandler's wife is looking for an electronic capacitor in a run-down computer store of some sort. Whilst scavenging, a man in black ("LOST" reference because it's the actor who played the "Man in Black" on "LOST"...) guns down a woman in a rainy alleyway. Looked like the chick was infected, so I guess that means she deserved it? The man is with a group of other dudes who are packing heat and they seem pretty upset that somebody breached the area. Chandler's wife books it outta there, but guess what?? There is a dead guy on the ground in the shop. He looks infected, too. Dun dun dun...... Yeah... The Man in Black sprays an X on the door. Oh crap. Chandler's wife!!

Back in the testing lab, Jeter plays some Jamaican music for Bertrice, who, amazingly, is not brought back to tears at the thought of her deceased friends, and the rest of the guinea pigs bob their heads to the music like people who are clearly not Jamaican. Tex flirts with Dr. Scott, who is not impressed. Foster, on the other hand, thought it was a decent attempt. Others in the quarantine room are talking about their families and loved ones. One woman says, "Better to not have a child than to not be there when they need you." Obvious foreshadowing, as this conversation follows Chandler telling Mike about one of his children being born pre-mature.

The patients eventually start to show symptoms of the so-called "Red Flu" virus. Foster has a fever. The nerdy white guy that was shown briefly last week has a sore throat. The Black chick he was trying unsuccessfully to hit on says she is so tired that she can't lift her arm. Jeter is fine... because he's a baller. Tex tries to impress Dr. Scott again and she actually smiles for once. Go figure. Perhaps there is hope for him, after all. Tex starts telling Foster that he thinks he can see a future with the doctor, but Foster's eyes go lifeless and she starts to have a seizure. After some quick work by Scott, Quincy and Bertrice, Foster's temperature subsides and the seizure calms. She's fine. After some further examination, Dr. Scott assumes they may have overlooked something in Foster's medical history. They'll make an effort to bolster the other patients' immune systems, as to prevent any further mishaps with the vaccine.

The patient who was talking to Dr. Scott about her family is having trouble using her arms. She is unable to hold onto a clipboard that Quincy offers her. Tex has a nasty, nasty rash all over his back and shoulders. He says he doesn't know when it started and that it doesn't itch. Quincy looks spooked. He wonders if the vaccine even works in the first place. He suggests that the symptoms of the virus may have evolved since they first started working on the vaccine. The patients are delirious. Like, they're going insane. All of them. The Black chick has an intense nosebleed and appears to be lifeless and the show cuts to a commercial. Hands down, the creepiest scene of the entire season, thus far. Yikes.

Back in America, Chandler's potentially infected wife and father are listening to a radio. Apparently, that's why they needed the conductor. A message that sounds like a public service announcement says that progress is being made to treat the Red Flu. "Come to Olympia. We can help." The father is skeptical that any successful treatment is out there at all. He cites several other false claims of a cure and doubts that this "Olympia" is any different. Chandler's wife speculates that somebody out there has to be making progress.

The chick with the nosebleed is zipped up into a body bag. She's gone. Scott is crying. Quincy tells Chandler that he thinks the vaccine isn't working. Scott vehemently denies it, saying that the woman, Maya, died of a heart attack, which isn't a know symptom of the virus. Quincy suggests "passive immunization," meaning that they would inject Bertrice's immune antibodies directly into the test subjects, but Scott says the amount of blood that would take would kill the young girl. Bertrice is willing to comply and, against Dr. Scott's wishes, the process begins.

Quincy hands Scott Foster's "test results" and Scott looks positively annoyed. Chandler approaches Danny on the deck and gives him the news: Foster is pregnant... and, in the words of Maury Povich, "You ARE the father!" Danny dons a Stay-Puft suit and visits Foster, saying, "Don't you dare leave me."

Quincy finds Scott, who is practically in the fetal position, crying like a wuss, and informs her that the passive immunization hasn't been working. In fact, the symptoms are getting even worse. The good news, however, is that Bertrice is fine. Scott plunges even further into self-doubt, accepting defeat and wondering why she thought she could solve the world's biggest problem in the first place. She stares at the last monkey, which is sitting across from her in a box, and asks, "Why did it work on you?"

The rest of the crew has been permitted to make visits to the test patients. They're all pretty shaken up about these developments, of course, and death seems pretty much imminent for our six little guinea pigs. Chandler puts on a suit and steps inside the lab. Tex looks like he is barely hanging on. Chandler, emotionless, kneels by Jeter, saying, "When they tell the story about the Great Plague in the 21st Century, they'll talk about you. The Six."

Dr. Scott storms back into the room. "Blah blah blah medical nonsense mumbo-jumbo blah blah blah." Basically, what she's trying to say is that Patient Zero's modified version of the virus tricks human immune systems into attacking themselves. The vaccine worked on the monkey because it didn't have any human DNA to attack. After spewing even more unintelligible rubbish, she says that the only way to reverse the problems being manifested in the test subjects is to send in that primordial strain that they found in the Arctic at the beginning of the season as a "Trojan horse." Just like that, the team of scientists begins to inject the primordial strain into the subjects' IV streams.

Bertrice wakes up sad, thinking that her part in the passive immunization had failed. She sits up to see that the five remaining test subjects are recovering and looking, well, better, I guess. In this case, "alive" is "better." Tex cracks a joke about Dr. Scott and the other four muster the strength to chuckle. Dr. Scott tells Danny that his baby will be born immune to the virus. I suppose that means that the five survivors have developed an immunity, as well. Yippee. Scott confirms it: "We don't just have a vaccine... We have the cure... We can save people who are already sick." Hugs all around.

Back on land, Chandler's young son shows off a nifty handmade drawing of the U.S.S. Nathan James. Mr. Chandler has got his radio up and running again. He's sending out a call for his son's ship. But all is not well - Commander Chandler's wife pauses at the sink for a moment to wipe the sweat from her brow. A fever, perhaps?

--

Here's what we learned:

• I'm pretty sure the Russians actually are dead because it's looks like we've got a new group of villains back on land.
• Dr. Scott's vaccination of the Russian officer last week wouldn't have worked. However, she's got everything patched up and ready to go now. It's not only a vaccine - it's the cure! And they will be able to take that mamma jamma back to America and save everyone who has contracted the sickness.
• But they better hurry because Chandler's wife is sick and has, unbeknownst to everyone at Cabin Chandler, infected his father and both of his kids, too.

--

Oh baby. What an episode we had tonight, huh? I'm serious when I say that the scene with the delirium was the freakiest thing we've seen all season. Gave me the dang chills! Thankfully, it looks like we won't be stuck on the ship much longer because next week's season finale (!!) has got Chandler and the crew back on American soil with vaccine in hand and crosshairs in sight. We're gonna have ourselves an old-fashioned barn-burner of an episode next Sunday, ladies and gentlemen, as Chandler races to find his family and the Man in Black and his team, apparently, have their sights set on the crew of the U.S.S. Nathan James. We'll see you then, as I wrap up my recaps for Season One of "The Last Ship."

The Last Ship: The eighth recap

Warning: SPOILERS for the eighth episode of "The Last Ship" ("Two Sailors Walk Into a Bar...") to follow. Ye be warned.

When last we left the U.S.S. Nathan James:

• The crew rescued a girl named Bertrise from a wrecked Jamaican fishing boat. Dr. Scott discovered that Bertrise is immune to the virus, which could potentially allow her to continue her research for the vaccine without any more unfortunate monkeys.
• Commander Chandler and Tex did battle with the Russians, escaping, but having to abandon their ship and swim for safety. Chandler ordered his crew to cease all rescue efforts, but Mike sent a helicopter to look for them, anyway.
• A helicopter eventually found the brave commander and his perverted friend, but it wasn't Mike's rescue team - it was the Russians!

We begin the episode with Chandler and Tex being escorted - in handcuffs - to see Admiral Ruskov, that wiley Russian son of a gun. Tex is hauled away and Chandler demands, in Russian, to know where he is being taken. Cue the five-second intro video with the dude in the haz-mat suit and the can of spray paint that still hasn't been explained or alluded to...

Chandler is brought to see Ruskov at gunpoint. Ruskov orders Ava, Quincy's daughter who is being held captive on the ship as blackmail, to leave the room. She asks if her father is with the Americans. Chandler responds, "No, he's not. But he's alive and safe on my ship." Ruskov introduces Quincy's wife, who was the voice behind the fake British distress call back in Cuba. "Excellent liars, the whole family," Ruskov says. Ruskov asks Chandler about Dr. Scott's progress on the vaccine, but Chandler refuses to cooperate. 'Atta boy, Chandler.

Back aboard the Nathan James, Dr. Scott is teaching Bertrise a crash course in biology. Bertrise seems kind of bored. Blah blah British accent. Bertrise is introduced to Mason, who overheard Bertrise's SOS call in last week's episode. She thanks him for saving her. Mason reports that there has been no word on the whereabouts of Chandler and Tex. But, back on the bridge, Mike receives a radio call from Ruskov. He demands Dr. Scott and her research - and nothing less - in exchange for Commander Chandler. The Russians give a 10-minute deadline for the exchange and the call goes dead. Mike immediately calls down to the guys in "combat" and asks if they got a location for the Russian ship.

Down in the lab, a suited-up Dr. Scott is examining some microscopic samples from her final monkey. She nearly bursts into tears, calling the monkey "the lucky one" and hurries out of the room. I'm... guessing that's a good thing?

Scott bursts into the war room, where Mike and Danny are contemplating an attack on Ruskov's ship. She announces that she and her last little primate have created a successful, working vaccine. She suggests, now, that Ruskov doesn't need her in exchange for Chandler and Tex - they can just send a dose of the vaccine and call it good. Foster is there and she says something, but it doesn't really matter because everyone who watches this show still thinks she sucks at acting. (Right?) Scott says that she will go aboard the enemy ship, if necessary, to guarantee that the vaccine is real. Mike and Danny are hesitant about giving into Ruskov's demands, but Scott thinks that going over with the vaccine is the only way to free the American captives and stop Ruskov once and for all.

Chandler is brought into a holding room, where Tex is being held prisoner in a cage. Chandler is locked into the same cell and the Russian guard doesn't speak very good English.

Danny and Cossetti, that clumsy guy from last week's mission, are plotting a potential attack on the Russian ship. Danny invites Cossetti to the mission because, obviously, he didn't learn his lesson last week. Cossetti looks frightened - and he should be - but then he smiles and says he's ready. Time will tell. Looks like Dr. Scott is also getting ready to head over to the other ship and they're giving her a gun, which they have to explain how to use because she has apparently never watched any TV or movies in her entire life. Point and click, lady. Point and click.

Speaking of movies, Chandler and Tex are thinking out an escape plan using plots from famous Hollywood scripts, but quickly come to the realization that those storylines are highly implausible.

Scott reaches the Russian ship, where she is promptly frisked down and searched for weapons. Little do the Russians know that there's a gun that she doesn't know how to use in the bottom of her giant metal box. Additionally, there's a tracking device in her life jacket, which is now sitting, unattended, on the deck of their boat. The American extraction team is mobile. Chandler, Tex and Scott are simultaneously taken to Ruskov. As soon as Scott sees Chandler, she plants a juicy one on him - right on the lips. That was weird. Tex is totally jealous. Scott asks that Chandler and Tex be freed, but Ruskov wants to make sure the vaccine works before letting anybody go. To the lab!

The creepy scientist that we've seen a couple times before recognizes Dr. Scott. She doesn't remember him, but he had apparently met her at a convention years ago. He goes on about his colleagues and Scott suddenly realizes - this is "Patient Zero," the monster that weaponized the virus. He says he didn't "weaponize" it; he added some of his DNA to it and re-injected it into his own blood stream. He says that the mutation worked, making him immune to the virus, but it also made him a carrier for it. They have a bit of an argument, in which Scott accuses him of killing four billion people without the intention of stepping forward and taking the blame, and she tells him that she has successfully created the vaccine. He becomes very frustrated with her, telling her that she cannot take credit for the vaccine without him. She storms out of the room (as she is prone to do) and he gets to hang tight in his quarantine zone.

Meanwhile, Tex is still flabbergasted that Scott kissed Chandler. He is married, after all, plus he's in the navy. As we've learned with Danny and Foster, fraternizing with the opposite gender is against the rules. "Did you not get the talk?" Tex asks. Apparently, what Scott was doing was transferring a note into Chandler's mouth. Sick. Germs. Chandler takes it out and reads, "Ladder room, port side 0400." Along with the note is what appears to be a small blade. "I was standing right there," Tex says. "She could have easily passed me the note." (Line of the night nominee.)

Ruskov is not happy with Patient Zero. Patient Zero claims (out of desperation, most likely) that Scott's vaccine won't work without him. It's testing time. As Patient Zero watches from his plastic living quarters, Dr. Scott prepares to inject one of the Russian officers with the vaccine. She injects the vaccine and Ruskov's men force the guy into the contaminated room with Patient Zero. Patient Zero breathes into the officer's face as the guy who may or may not actually be Ruskov's brother screams like a little girl. I think the real test would be whether or not Patient Zero needs a breath mint.

Ruskov heads in to talk to Chandler and Tex. Tex asks if Ruskov needs to get back to Transylvania before midnight. Like the evil maniac he is, Ruskov says that, once the vaccine has been proven to work, he will likely kill all the Americans and become the most powerful man in the entire world. He asks Chandler if he would be willing to work alongside the Russians, but, again, Chandler refuses to cooperate.

From the bridge of the Nathan James, Mike and the crew are beginning to get nervous. The extraction team is closing in on the Russian ship and Mike assures his sailors that they will be successful in retrieving the three American prisoners. (For the record, I didn't understand the "two sailors walk into a bar... and they both walk out" joke. Jeter says it was a good one, but I didn't get it.)

Chandler tells the Russian guard (or "Bad English," as he is officially called) that he needs to use the bathroom. He comes over to unlock the cell and is promptly slammed into the cage by the wily American commander. Tex uses the small blade that Scott gave Chandler to slit the guy's throat and Tex grabs the keys to the cage. They're out. One violent romp through the halls later, they're also armed with machine guns. They head to the ladder room, as per Dr. Scott's note, and are met by the Nathan James' extraction team. Elsewhere, Cossetti sets a charge that will likely blow Ruskov and his men to Kingdom Come. More charges are set in the hallways as Chandler and the team make their way down to the lab to save Dr. Scott. But first, they make a quick pit stop to save Quincy's wife and daughter. "You want off this ship? Come with me right now," Chandler tells them. They hurriedly get to their feet and are taken to the extraction point by two members of the team.

Ruskov is alerted that Chandler and Tex have escaped. He orders one of his officers to seal all the doors on the ship and find them, but to stay off the radio since Chandler speaks Russian. He also demands that Dr. Scott be taken to him on the bridge. The officer goes to get Scott, but she says that she can't leave until she administers the second part of the vaccine. In this case, it looks like part two of the vaccination involves a pistol with a silencer. She fumbles around with the gun, trying to sneakily put it together in the bottom of her crate, but she can't do it quickly enough. When the officer comes over to check on her, she pulls out the gun (without the silencer, of course) and shoots the guy. In the shoulder. Because she doesn't watch TV or movies and doesn't know that that's a dumb place to shoot somebody who is holding you captive. Ugh. Women. Oh. Yikes. She just shot him in the head. The extraction team busts into the room. Tex approves of Scott's newfound marksmanship. Patient Zero is left in the dust since he can't leave his plastic prison without killing everyone on the ship. Sucks to be him... and the Russian guy who is stuck in that room with him... Hope that vaccine works, buddy!

Cossetti and another team member continue to escort Quincy's family. They pause for a moment and Cossetti blows the charges, killing many of Ruskov's men in the lower parts of the ship. The admiral anticipates that Chandler will make his way to the stern of the ship and swears that the Americans will not get off the boat alive. Chandler realizes that the lack of an alarm or any radio communication in the ship likely means that the Russians are waiting for the Americans to head to the stern of the ship. He tells his team to find another way off the boat. Ruskov tells his crew to find and destroy the American rescue boat before Chandler's team can escape.

Quincy's family is first to the rescue boat. They're lowered down on a rope ladder before the Russians can find them. Chandler and company, on the other hand, are spotted on the deck and engage in a brief firefight with Ruskov's guards. Ruskov is no a happy man. Another charge is detonated - this one much closer to the bridge - and Ruskov goes ballistic, yelling at his men to find the Americans immediately. He screams down to the engine room to fire up the engines, full steam ahead.

Chandler's team makes it to the rescue boat and Scott begins to descend the ladder. Tex and a few others continue to fend off Ruskov's guards and Tex blows a charge toward the top of the ship, dispatching two more enemies in one fell swoop. Three more charges detonate. I've never seen so many scared Russians in my life. They're running down the hallways of the ship in slow motion - and one of the sailors is Patient Zero! He's out of his holding cell and could contaminate everybody on the ship! The Americans have got to get out of there!

Ruskov is shown with tears in his eyes as another charge blows. Commander Chandler and his team are shown speeding away from the Russian ship as several more explosions go off. That ship is toast. "You rocked it, man," Danny says to Cossetti. "You really rocked it." Cossetti collapses and a bullet wound is shown as Chandler and Danny frantically try to keep him alive.

Quincy is reunited with his wife and daughter in a tearful reunion. I still don't know how Quincy got such an attractive wife. He's one goofy-looking dude.

It's daytime all of the sudden and Chandler and his crew have hoisted a motionless Cossetti back onto the ship. Solemn music plays as the rest of the Nathan James crew looks stunned and devastated at the loss of their crew mate. The shot fades to black and the episode is over.

--

Here's what we learned:

• Dr. Scott has a vaccine that, as far as we know, works. We didn't get to see physical proof of that, though, as the one guy who was vaccinated just got blown to smithereens.
• Quincy and his family have been reunited. Will Quincy show his gratitude to Commander Chandler by working cooperatively with the Nathan James or will he continue to be the slimy little weasel we have all grown to know and despise?
• It seems, for now, that the Russian threat has been neutralized. But I'm a big believer that, unless you see the dead body, they may not actually be dead. Is this the last we've seen of the evil Admiral Ruskov?
• Cossetti is bloody and lifeless, presumably dead, though, like I said, we can't be too sure right now. How will the crew of the U.S.S. Nathan James rally around the alleged loss of a sailor?

--

There are just two episodes left in the season, which means, first and foremost, that I'm going to have to find something else to blog about, come September. From the post-credits teaser, Tex asks Dr. Scott if she plans on infecting the crew with the virus to test her vaccine. Bertrise is shown looking very ill and a body is shown being buried at sea. Dr. Scott asks, "Who did I think I was that I could solve this?" and is shown overlooking what looks like a Patient Zero-quality quarantine zone with several sick beds. What's in store for us next week? I liked this episode and feel like the show is building momentum toward a big season finale here in two weeks. What did you think? Leave a comment below, if you dare, and we'll catch you next Sunday night for another episode of "The Last Ship."

Where Are They Now?: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (1990)

Well, at least they're not aliens.

That was the rumor surrounding Michael Bay's Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles reboot, which finally hit theaters this weekend. After an enormous public backlash from adults who didn't want their childhoods ruined, Mr. Bay (a notorious ruiner of childhoods) decided, apparently, to make sure the Turtles were, in fact, turtles, after all. I just saw the reboot this morning and, well... It wasn't as bad as everyone said it would be. It certainly didn't ruin my childhood or make me want to kill myself or anything. (I've honestly seen a review that said that.) And, you know what? If the new TMNT movie actually did ruin your childhood or make you want to kill yourself, you need to grow the heck up. Seriously. Like, stop going out to movies before somebody gets hurt. The new movie was all right, considering that my expectations were about knee-high, so there's that. I probably wouldn't recommend that you run out and see it, though, especially if you haven't seen "Guardians of the Galaxy" yet... because that movie rocked.

Anyway, all this turtle talk got me thinking: Whatever happened to the original live-action Ninja Turtles? I loved that movie back in 1990, but I can't for the life of me remember any of the actors who starred in it. Therefore, I took to the Internet this evening to discover the truth. A quick glance at IMDb will tell us everything we need to know. Let's get the run-down in the first-ever installment SotT: Underground's newest feature: "Where Are They Now?"

Movie: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (1990)

Name: Judith Hoag
Role: April O'Neil
Where are they now?: After starring in a lead role in TMNT, Hoag would continue to have what we'll call a "busy" career in Hollywood, at the very least. She is presently one gig shy of hitting the illustrious "100 credit" mark on IMDb, having appeared in 99 different roles thus far. She landed sporadic spots on popular '90s TV shows like "Quantum Leap;" "Roseanne;" "Melrose Place;" "Walker, Texas Ranger;" "The Nanny;" "Nash Bridges;" "The X-Files" and "Touched by an Angel." In the new millennium, Hoag has been spotted in episodes of "Boston Public," "ER," "Without a Trace," "CSI: Crime Scene Investigation," "7th Heaven," "JAG," "Bones," "The Ghost Whisperer," "Grey's Anatomy," "Sons of Anarchy" and "The Mentalist." Now, that sounds like a lot, but, considering that she only ever appeared in more than one episode of "Melrose Place" and "Grey's Anatomy" (two episodes, each), that's really not that great. She did appear in three episodes of "Private Practice," 13 episodes of "Big Love" and 34 episodes of "Nashville," however, so she's raising the bar as she goes, which is nice. Other movie roles you may or may not recognize her from include her turn as Denise in 1998's "Armageddon," Rebecca in "Salt" (...Oh wait... not the Angelina Jolie movie? There was another "Salt"? I guess nobody cares, then...), and Sarah's Mom in "I am Number Four." Hey! I actually saw that movie. I had no idea it was her. Wow. Also, upon further reflection, I totally remember April O'Neil being way hotter...

Name: Brian Tochi
Role: Voice of Leonardo
Where are they now?: Tochi would go on to voice Leonardo in TMNT II and III. Post-half shell, Tochi would also provide his voice for a plethora of other characters on television. His robust resume includes work as a fighting hyena in "The Lion King" and additional voices in "The Prince of Egypt," "The Iron Giant" and "Mulan II." He has also lent his talent to characters on "Mortal Kombat: Defenders of the Realm," "Dexter's Laboratory," "Batman Beyond," "Johnny Bravo," "Kim Possible," "Static Shock," "Family Guy" and "Avatar: The Last Airbender."


Name: Corey Feldman
Role: Voice of Donatello
Where are they now?: Well, right off the bat, IMDb's list of roles that Feldman is best known for doesn't include anything after 1987, so... He was apparently not the voice of Donny in TMNT II, although he did reprise the role for TMNT III, which is really a shame because that movie was weird. He was a bank robber in "Maverick," a guy named Vic in 10 episodes of a show called "Dweebs" in 1995, and, uh, the next big role he got wasn't until 2004, when he was SPRX-77 in 52 episodes of "Super Robot Monkey Team Hyperforce Go!" Wow, this guy is pathetic. It is of note, I suppose, that he returned to the turtle scene last year, providing the voice of Slash in the most recent "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles" animated series. In other words, this guy hasn't done anything cool in the past quarter-century. Disappointing.

Name: Josh Pais
Role: Voice of Raphael
Where are they now?: Miraculously, it looks like Pais was able to break away from voice acting after leaving the soggy slums of his TMNT upbringing and star in some actual live-action roles. He showed up in a couple episodes of "Star Trek: Deep Space Nine" in the late '90s and would soon thereafter appear in an episode of "Sex and the City." He played a guy who probably got slashed to bits in "Scream 3" in 2000 and similarly probably got riddled with bullets when he spent a one-episode stint with "The Sopranos." He was an attorney in 16 episodes of "Law & Order" between 1990 and 2009 and has also been seen in six episodes of "Law & Order: Special Victims Unit" in the past 14 years. Currently, he can be seen as Stu Feldman on that "Ray Donovan" show that I keep seeing commercials for and still refusing to watch. As a side note, growing up as a big time "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles" fan, Raphael was always my favorite, regardless of his "cool but rude" personality and his angsty moments in the 1990 film.

Name: Robbie Rist
Role: Voice of Michaelangelo
Where are they now?: Wow. You have GOT to check out this guy's IMDb picture. Haha. What is up with that?? This former child star (allegedly) scored the pizza-eating role of a lifetime when he was the voice of the sewer's resident party dude, Michaelangelo. After that, he was the voice of Star in 1995's animated rip-off of "Iron Will," "Balto," but then didn't really do a heck of a lot that I recognize until he provided the vocal stylings of a character on "Jackie Chan Adventures" in 2005. Admittedly, I never watched that show, either, but Jackie Chan is a famous guy, so Mr. Rist is successful by association. He looks like a pretty important character in the "Naruto" animated series, but I don't think my keyboard is properly equipped to type out that very foreign-looking name, so I won't try. He recently provided the voice for Stuffy on the popular children's program "Doc McStuffins." I have no idea who that is, but I bet my little nephews love him.

Name: Elias Koteas
Role: Wayne Gretzky Casey Jones
Where are they now?: Ok, I know I said Raphael was my favorite, but I freaking love Casey Jones. The dude was the original baller. Who in the world gets confused for the greatest hockey player of all time - while wearing regular clothes?! Casey Jones does, that's who. Koteas was in a bunch of junk (likely) that I've never heard of through the remainder of the 1990s, then he probably got blown to heck with Michelangelo on an episode of "The Sopranos." (Basically, I just assume that anybody who ever appeared on "The Sopranos" got whacked.) Other than that, it looks like he's been in a bunch of horror films ("Shutter Island" and "Zodiac," to name a couple) and he was also in "The Curious Case of Benjamin Button" in 2008. Most recently, you may (or may not) have seen him in 13 episodes of "Combat Hospital" and/or 12 episodes of "The Killing" and/or 16 episodes of "Chicago P.D." But, if nothing else, he was Casey Jones. And he broke April O'Neil's swing.

Name: James Saito
Role: Shredder/Oroko Saki
Where are they now?: Shredder was a freaky, freaky dude. He was a constant thorn in the sides of our heroes, plus, he had that horrendously scarred face and perfected the art of the hand-popping-out-of-the-rubble technique. But who was the man behind the mask? Why, James Saito, of course! Yes, that same James Saito who was Chinese Mob Boss in "Home Alone 3," Korean Proprietor in "Die Hard with a Vengeance" and Korean Man in an episode of "Sex and the City." Skipping through a bunch of other minor appearances, you may remember him as Dr. Frank Chen in 26 episodes of "Eli Stone" or Judge Lee in the TV series "One Life to Live." I got all excited when I saw that he was in "Life of Pi," but "Older Insurance Investigator" really doesn't ring any bells for me. That was all awfully generic and nationality-specific. Hmm. Surely I'll find somebody with an exciting, memorable role sooner or later, right??

Name: Kevin Clash
Role: Voice of Splinter
Where are they now?: THIS GUY IS THE VOICE OF ELMO! HE IS ALSO THE VOICE OF BABY SINCLAIR FROM THE "DINOSAURS" TV SHOW! "Not the mama!!" Oh my gosh, Splinter wins!!!!! (Note: I have been reminded by Andrea Chapman that Kevin Clash has been in the news lately for... less-than-ideal circumstances. Touche. But still, at least he went on to do something with his career!)

Deep breaths. In and out. I'm sorry. I just got so excited that I found a TMNT alumnus with a couple big roles that I actually recognized.

I'll do one more, just for the heck of it... because you are never going to guess a billion, trillion years, who walked away from 1990's cult classic "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles"  as the biggest star with the most recognizable face. It was none other than...

Name: Sam Rockwell
Role: Head Thug
Where are they now?: Sam Rockwell, who I didn't have any idea was even in this movie in the first place, landed a breakout role as Guy Fleegman in the hilarious 1999 film "Galaxy Quest." If you haven't seen "Galaxy Quest," go see it. Right now. Go. Rockwell was Eric Knox in the big-screen adaptation of "Charlie's Angels" in 2000 and appeared as Zaphod Beeblebrox in "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy" in 2005. My fingers hurt after typing that last character's name. Rockwell has also picked up big roles in movies in the past decade, such as "Moon," "Frost/Nixon," "Iron Man 2" and "Cowboys & Aliens." And get this - he will star in the lead role of the rebooted horror classic "Poltergeist," which is currently in post-production and slated to be released in 2015.

So there you have it! Tell your friends you learned something new today. Who were your favorite characters from the original "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles"? Are you planning on seeing the Michael Bay reboot? Let us know by leaving a comment below. Now share this blog with your buddies and order yourself a pizza. Cowabunga, dudes!

The Last Ship: The seventh recap

Warning: SPOILERS for the seventh episode of "The Last Ship" ("SOS") to follow. Ye be warned.

When last we left the U.S.S. Nathan James:

• Danny had a fever that we were falsely led to believe may have been the infamous world-destroying virus. In the end, he was fine.
• Dr. Scott's work on her vaccine prototype is going slower than she had previously anticipated. Many of the monkeys she has used as test subjects have died and began disposing of them by dumping them overboard in the middle of the night. She was seen by several crew members and they weren't very thrilled about it.
• The crew's anxiety about the dissemination of information grew to the point that paranoia and talk of a mutiny against Commander Chandler abounded.
• Sixteen crew members asked to be relieved of duty, but were ultimately persuaded to re-enlist.
• Quincy has been officially deprived of all chess-playing opportunities due to bad behavior. Furthermore, his haircut is still absolutely horrible.

In the "previously on 'The Last Ship'" segment that kicks off the episode, we're reminded of the intense stand-off Commander Chandler and his crew had with the Russians a few episodes back. Hopefully that means this episode will be more action-oriented, as opposed to us sitting around for an hour watching the crew put out fires in the engine room. Only time will tell...

Our episode begins in Oslo, Norway, six months ago. Two scholarly scientists sit at lunch in a park arguing about the virus. The younger man (who may be the scientist we saw aboard the Russian ship a few weeks ago) says that he has been successfully experimenting on himself, much to the disgust of his older counterpart. (If this is, in fact, the scientist we saw with the Russians, it seemed that he was immune to the virus; he was shown working on rats in his lab without any type of protective suit.) The older man gets up and storms away just as the younger man's wife arrives at the park. She consoles the younger scientist before outlining her upcoming trip to several different Western European countries. She tells her husband that she feels like she is "coming down with something." The man looks lost in thought. Ominous...

We cut to Guantanamo Bay - aboard the nefarious Russian ship - and it is the same young scientist that we just saw in the park! The Russian Admiral, Ruskov, informs the man that their ship is back up and running. Dr. Scott can't have gotten far and they will catch up with her in no time, he says. The toothpick-toting truth-seeker wisely assumes that Scott would need monkeys to continue her search for a cure, pin-pointing Puerto Rico or South America as likely destinations for the Nathan James.

Back on the Nathan James, Dr. Scott tells Commander Chandler that she has discovered a human gene in the virus. She claims that this allows the virus to stay "one step ahead" of her and also makes the disease much more lethal. She also admits to only having two monkeys left for trial. Cue the five-second intro video.

Danny seems healthy as a horse again; he can do two and a half pull-ups. (Hey, that's probably more than I can do.) Mike comes in and talks to Danny about his relationship with Foster. He explains the punishments being put in place for the two ex-lovebirds and tells Danny that there needs to be complete transparency about the situation for the rest of the crew. Danny seems hesitant about it, but Mike hits him with a witty one-liner: "You're a leader. Lead."

In the radio room, Lt. Granderson and a kid named Mason stumble across a Jamaican distress call. The woman on the radio says that she was on a fishing boat, is the only survivor and is running out of water. Mason thinks he knows the voice. Chandler mulls around the idea of hopping on the radio to see if they can contact the girl. Mike interjects that breaking radio silence would, effectively, broadcast the Nathan James' location to anyone in the world who was listening. Despite that sage advice that will undoubtedly come back to haunt Chandler and his crew in the most Russian way possible, the commander decides to attempt communication with the stranded Jamaican girl. Within a few seconds, contact is made. Chandler tells the girl, Bertrise, that he is a fisherman named Joe Brown. After a bit of investigation, it turns out that the girl's alleged location is 280 miles away from the Nathan James. They decide to search for her, like the good Americans they are.

But guess what? The Russians overheard the radio call and, according to the quotation marks used in the closed captions on the screen, they don't believe the transmission came from a fishing boat. The Russians also got the girl's GPS location and they're pretty sure the transmission came from Commander Chandler. They're hesitant to pursue the situation, however, because they don't want the so-called fishermen to know they're in the area. Then Ruskov puffs on a stogie like a stereotypical communist villain.

The American crew is preparing a team to depart for the location of the stranded survivor. Danny has a little pep talk with some scrub named Cossetti that apparently nobody trusts. (He was likely one of the would-be mutineers from last week's episode, but they didn't make a great point about naming those 16 fools, so it's hard to be too sure.) Basically, Danny tells Cossetti to suck it up because nobody will be able to babysit him if he goes on the excursion. Cossetti says he won't let them down and Danny comes off looking like a champ. That dude has really stepped it up since ditching his loser girlfriend. I'll hand it to him there. A couple great episodes for the pull-up pro. Chandler is pleased and so am I.

The Americans send out a couple boats to locate the girl, which they do quickly and efficiently, as one might expect. Meanwhile, the Russians have also sent out a couple boats to mask their true location. Chandler and his dual-boat squad approach the Jamaican fishing boat, hopping on board with masks securely fastened. There doesn't seem to be anyone aboard. Guns at the ready. This is not going to end well. Chandler, Tex and Cossetti head down into "the hole," where they find several dead bodies with mutilated faces. They yell for Bertrise, but, as Tex astutely points out, "There's nothing but death down here." A shout from above announces that the Yankees have got company! Two boats are approaching. It's the Russians - and Ruskov tells his men that he wants his nemeses alive. Cossetti finds Bertrise hiding behind a blanket in a corner of the boat. She seems scared and disappointed that Chandler and his crew were not really fishermen. Cossetti falls behind and Chandler and Tex are forced to leave him behind with the other boat. The Russians open fire on Tex and Chandler and Mike frantically calls for the Nathan James to send a helicopter as backup. Tex struggles to hit his mark, finally bringing down a Russian assailant. Chandler cranks a hard right and Tex knocks out the rest of the Russians with a bigger gun - but their boat received a lot of damage and is taking on water. Thankfully, the other Russian cruiser got to the Jamaican boat too late and was unable to apprehend the girl or chase down any of the Americans.

Quincy is pulled out from his cave, looking as sour-faced as ever, and Mike forces him to help translate any Russian overheard on the radios. Quincy agrees to help, on one condition - he wants to make sure that Ruskov, his blackmailer, dies in the end.

We cut back to Chandler and Tex, who are now floating in the water. Apparently they didn't want to sink with their boat, so they've decided to go for a little swim. They estimate that they're about 10-15 miles away from the fishing boat. They seem to be a bit out of luck, however, as Chandler removed the tracking beacons from their suits, as not to be intercepted by Russian technology. They do have their radio, however, and Tex suggests that the only chance they have of being rescued is calling in for help. Hesitantly, Chandler gets on the radio, calling his ship by name, and tells them to cease and desist any rescue efforts. (Who does he think he is with this "cease and desist" nonsense? San Diego Comic-Con?) Tex is not thrilled. Chandler argues that any further communication would be a serious risk for the Nathan James and that this was the correct call in their present circumstances. He says there is a reef to the north and the two begin doggy-paddling for their lives.

Mike, Danny and the crew of the Nathan James express frustration with Chandler's lack of coordinates and Bertrise is brought on-board by Jeter, who introduces her to Dr. Scott. Meanwhile, Ruskov dines with Quincy's family. A girl, his daughter, who we haven't seen before looks like she is preparing to eat those monkey brains from "Temple of Doom." Ruskov pulls the "starving children" card and threatens to send her back to the brig. He demands gratitude from his captives and gets a little touchy-feely with Quincy's wife (who married WAY above what she probably deserves, by the way). A Russian officer tells Ruskov that they intercepted Chandler's "final transmission" and Ruskov tells the man to send a drone to investigate.

The drone, which Tex says sounds like a lawnmower, finds Chandler and his southern companion. In turn, the Nathan James locates drone and promptly launches a missile at it. Radar, radar, rader... Russians on the bridge looking nervous... BOOM. The Americans shoot the drone out of the sky. Chandler says, "They shouldn't have done that." What a martyr. Ruskov is oddly pleased with the situation. "Now we know that they will do anything to save him," he says - something that makes the Americans more vulnerable than he anticipated.

Chandler and Tex take a break from their swimming lessons to shoot the proverbial breeze. At long last, Tex admits that he likes Dr. Scott - in fact, she is the only reason Tex came on the mission. He wanted to impress her since Chandler wasn't making a move on her. Chandler has a good laugh. It kind of seems like they're both intoxicated or something.

Dr. Scott is running some tests on Bertrise. She says that post-virus myths have run rampant about men in suits with guns. She says the legends say that the men in suits come to kill people, not to save them. She tells Scott about how her village and her family died from the virus. Everybody was wiped out except for her. "Why didn't I die?" she asks, with tears running down her face. "Because you're immune," Scott responds as test results flash on her computer screen.

Night has fallen and Tex is losing faith in Chandler's quest for the reef. He has grown so pessimistic, as a matter of fact, that he nearly begins falling asleep. Chandler continues to search his soul aloud, telling Tex that he joined the Navy to spite his Army father and that he is afraid of losing his family to the virus.

More soul searching is happening aboard the Nathan James, as Danny and Cossetti ponder where they went wrong on their mission. Cossetti feels like his little stumble may have cost the commander and Tex their lives. The helicopter has come back, unsuccessful. Jeter tells Mike that Bertrise is immune to the virus. Some genetic testing may be the break Scott needed to continue her work on the vaccine without monkey test subjects.

Quincy overhears some Russian chatter on the radio. He says the Russians believe that Chandler has drowned. Mike is skeptical of Quincy's bilinguality. That's not a word, but I don't care. Mike predicts that Chandler would have made his way for the reef - and rightly so. As the helicopter refuels, he tells the bridge to have the pilots make way for the reef in hopes of finding their beloved leader and his perverted friend. Incredible. They found them. Who would have guessed? "Don't tell me - you're pissed at (Mike) Slattery now," Tex quips. That's right. Adam Baldwin, the great American hero, has done it again.

BUT WAIT! My gosh, it wasn't their helicopter! Back on the Nathan James, video feed from the American bird shows a bit of wreckage, but no survivors! So whose helicopter is it?? THE RUSSIANS! Oh freak!

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Wow, what an ending, huh? I can't say that I saw that one coming. Well, maybe I did. But then I didn't. And then it happened anyway. Niiiiiiice... Let's take a second to review what we learned:

• Bertrise is immune to the virus, which may provide Dr. Scott exactly what she needs to continue her work on the vaccine (and discontinue her monkey murdering).
• The Russians have found what seems to be, at this point, the greatest American vulnerability - their love and respect for Commander Chandler.
• And Chandler and Tex were rescued at sea - by the wrong country! They're now hostages of Admiral Ruskov and his dastardly Soviet ship.

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It looks like next week the Russians are going to try a power play, holding Chandler hostage in hopes of an exchange for Dr. Scott. What did you think of this week's show? I thought the cliffhanger was fantastic and I'm looking forward to the next show. For now, you can leave a comment below or something, but we'll have to wait another week to see what happens with our intrepid crew. We'll catch you next week for another episode of "The Last Ship."