Fall 2014 TV preview

Remember that one time about a month ago when we all sat back and cried, "Man, there is nothing on TV!" Yeah, I remember it, too... Well, long gone are the days of "America's Got Talent" (which FINALLY had the happy ending we all wanted...) and here are the days of way-too-much-good-stuff-on-TV-to-possibly-handle-without-a-DVR. Good heavens! So many good shows starting up.

Here's what I'm excited for this fall:

Sleepy Hollow, Monday nights on FOX

Upon hearing that "Sleepy Hollow" had been renewed for a second season, I was so happy I could scarcely speak. I couldn't believe it - a new show that I was watching actually didn't get cancelled?! That NEVER happens! Incredible! For those of you who missed out on the inaugural season, let me just say... YOU MISSED OUT. Talk to me and I'll hook you up if you want to watch it. Ichabod Crane (Tom Mison), the man out of time, is, in my humble opinion, the best new character on TV and his constant struggle with modern-day technology and fashion brings a much-needed sense of humor and levity to the otherwise intense and dark premise. His relationship with Abbie Mills (Nicole Beharie) works well on screen and, let's face it, they're going to hook up eventually. That, my friends, will be a great day. And I've got to mention that the final 15 minutes of the Season One finale were about the craziest, most shocking 15 minutes of TV I watched all of last year. Seriously.

In order to bring you Season One-watchers up to speed for tonight's season premiere, check out this one-minute recap by Entertainment Weekly. SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS...

As if that weren't enough, here's a trailer for Season Two. Should be awesome. Oh, and uh... more Season One SPOILERS, of course.

Gotham, Monday nights on FOX

With "Gotham" and "Sleepy Hollow" airing back-to-back on FOX Monday nights, I'll have my DVR remote at the ready. Tonight marks the series premiere of the Batman precursor. However, rather than focusing on the Caped Crusader - or even Bruce Wayne, for that matter - this is the story of detective James Gordon (later known as Commissioner Gordon) and his rise to law enforcement super-stardom. A handful of classic villains will be at FOX's disposal, with officially hyped criminals such as the Riddler, the Penguin, Poison Ivy and Catwoman being displayed prominently in the show's marketing campaign. Jada Pinkett-Smith will star as crime-lord Fish Mooney, a new character created specifically for the show. A young Bruce Wayne is also featured, as the story starts with Gordon (played by "The O.C." alum Ben Mackenzie) begins to investigate the infamous murder of Thomas and Martha Wayne. I think this show has a lot of potential - and there's even word on the street that the Clown Prince of Crime, himself, will appear somewhere down the line. Please, please, please don't suck and don't get cancelled.

If you're not sold yet, here's a trailer:

The Voice, Monday and Tuesday nights on NBC

I may never go to FHE again. Like, seriously. When am I going to have time to watch all these shows?? If you don't know what "The Voice" is, you've either been living under a rock or you've been on a mission or something, so I won't waste time explaining how it works, but the important changes that you need to be aware of are these: that Cee-Lo and Christina have (thankfully) been replaced (again). This time, No Doubt frontwoman Gwen Stefani and oversized hat-wearer Pharrell Williams will take a spin (get it?) at coaching up-and-coming talent. Personally, I like Shakira and Usher, but we'll see how Gwen and Pharrell do. I'll also have my Reality TV Mormon radar going at full speed. Maybe we'll find ourselves a couple new additions to my world-famous list.

In case you missed it, here is a 12-minute clip of Gwen and fellow coach Blake Shelton lip-synching with Jimmy Fallon on "The Tonight Show":

Survivor: Blood vs Water 2, Wednesdays on CBS

Ah, "Survivor," my favorite show of all time. How I love "Survivor"! "Blood vs Water" is back and, I admit, I actually really liked this twist last time around. I didn't think I would, but I liked it. This time around, as opposed to the tried-and-true method of bringing back former contestants, we've got family/friend duos of completely new cast members. What could possibly go wrong with that? Wait... they WHAT?!? They cast THE TWINNIES?!?!?!?!?! AHHHHHH!!! I HATE HATE HATE THE TWINNIES! (And I very, very rarely type in all caps for prolonged periods of time, so you can probably tell how I feel about them...) Ugh, the stupid Twinnies from "The Amazing Race" will be on the show this season. I cannot begin to describe how disgusted I am at this decision. I've already put up with them for two seasons of "TAR" and now they're polluting my favorite show, "Survivor." Oh gosh. I hate them. Hopefully they'll be voted off One and Two so we can forget that this mistake ever happened. MLB wild man John Rocker is also on the show this season and that will be... interesting... I mean, I guess I kind of like him because I know him? But... the show hasn't even started yet, so who knows what kinds of shenanigans he'll try to pull. In one commercial, he tells a member of the opposing tribe that he wants to fight him, so... Also, Exile Island is back, which should be crazy, especially since castaways will be the ones to send their own loved there. Yikes.

Here's a video of iO Trendz breaking down the new cast:

The Amazing Race, Season 25, Friday nights on CBS

Another season of "The Amazing Race" begins on a new night this week - and that's not good news, as far as ratings are concerned. I have no idea what could possibly have bumped the Race from its good old time slot on Sunday nights, but now they'll air the program on Fridays. Sorry, but unless I'm sick or something, I'm not going to call off my weekend plans to stay home and watch. I'll probably DVR it and watch it on Sunday nights, anyway. I haven't done much research on the new cast, other than I know that a pair of former Survivors and a chick with one arm will be on the show, so, with that vague information, here's a video some schmoe uploaded to YouTube that's, perhaps, even more vague. I have no idea what's going on here, other than that it's the start of the race and there are lots of people watching from the sidelines. Enjoy:

Wow! How about that? Those are my shows! I should be incredibly busy trying to keep up and stay up-to-date with everything. Heck, I'm still like five episodes behind on "Falling Skies" - and that show ended a month ago. I wish I had more time for important stuff in my life... like... watching lots and lots of TV.

Did I miss anything? What are you guys looking forward to watching this fall? Leave a comment below... if you dare...