They say that the best two words in sports are "Game Seven." Tonight, America gets its wish, as the Chicago Cubs, of all teams, have battled back from a 3-1 deficit to force a final, decisive matchup with the Cleveland Indians, of all teams.
Tonight's game will certainly make the dreams of one fan base come true, while simultaneously dashing the other's to pieces. It's been well documented, but we may as well rehash it for the sake of this blog:
The Cleveland Indians last won a World Series in 1948 - a 68-year draught.
The Chicago Cubs haven't won since 1908, with this current title run 108 years in the making.
These are two of the longest title-free spells in professional sports, and Americans love a good underdog story. But my problem is that I don't really have a pony in this race and I'm not quite sure who I'm supposed to be cheering for (or against) when the teams take the field this evening.
I grew up as a big Chicago Cubs fan. I've got the knowledge to prove it and the physical evidence to back it up. I used to watch the Cubs on WGN all the time growing up, thanks to my mom. I can tell you all about Ryne Sandberg, Mark Grace, Brian McRae, Glenallen Hill and my former favorite player, Sammy Sosa. I remember going to the mall as a young boy and having my picture taken in a Cubs jersey, then printed onto a baseball card. I wish I still had it, but I doubt I do. That was pretty awesome. I remember very well the Steve Bartman incident that dashed my heart to pieces back in 2003. Those were rough times, and the Cubs never won a dang thing, despite my greatest wishes.
I learned the hard way that rooting for the "lovable loser" Chicago Cubs for the better part of two decades just wasn't very much fun. (I had a similar experience giving up on the Seattle Mariners, who I loved for quite some time during the Ken Griffey Jr. era.) Being a Cubs fan got the best of me around 2013 or so; I finally decided that I'd had enough and jumped ship. Clearly, I either became a Cubs fan 15 years too early or stopped being a self-proclaimed Cubs fan two years too soon. It's a rough life.
Don't get me wrong - it's not that I hate the Cubs. I just wouldn't identify myself as a fan of these Cubs. They aren't the lovable losers that I grew up attached to. They're now the lovable contenders, with big salaries and a GM, Theo Epstein, who has a record of breaking baseball's most infamous curses - he brought in a bunch of heavy hitters to lead the Boston Red Sox to championships in 2004 and 2007. Back in the day, everybody loved those Red Sox (except Yankees fans, obviously), and the whole nation jumped on board the Boston bandwagon (with a little help from Jimmy Fallon and Drew Barrymore in "Fever Pitch"). But once the broke the Curse of the Bambino and the Red Sox became a perennial powerhouse in the American League, that's about the time the Red Sox stopped being fun. Just ask my brother Austin, who was a die-hard Sox fan for most of his young adulthood. If the Cubs break their own curse - that of billy goat lore - would they potentially suffer a similar fate? Would they become just another superteam, destined for multiple championships down the line? Perish the thought!
But what really drives me nuts is - and this happens every single year, without fail - the miraculous growth of the Cubs (bandwagon) fan base in the last few weeks. I could even give a bit more leniency and trace it back to 2015. I blame "Back to the Future II," which famously predicted that the Cubbies would win the 2015 World Series against Miami. (Close, but no cigar! That would have been so awesome.) People who don't even like baseball were cheering for the Cubs to make that prediction come true, but it didn't happen. I'm sure many of those people have continued cheering for the Cubs in 2016.
To make a long story short (too late), I love seeing bandwagon fans get disappointed. I'm just jealous, probably, that I spend years cheering for teams that never win (Utah Jazz, Texas Rangers, the lovable loser Cubs and the generally sucky New Orleans Saints - who actually pulled it off in 2010), and bandwagon fans spend a few weeks or maybe months cheering for a team that goes all the way. Misery loves company.
And then there are the Cleveland Indians. I have nothing against the Indians. Why would I? Nobody cares about the Indians, as far as I know. Not yet, anyway, pending the results of tonight's contest. There might be TONS of Indians fans running around tomorrow, just like there were droves of Prince and David Bowie fans after their premature deaths, and just like Heath Ledger and Paul Walker are the greatest actors of our generation. Who knows what tomorrow brings?
Here's my only beef with the state of Ohio - that, for my entire life, they've been begging the world to feel sorry for them. "Our teams are so terrible! We never win anything!" Yeah, you never win anything, except for Ohio State constantly being one of the best college football teams and the Cavs winning an NBA championship last year and your baseball team being on the brink of a World Series title, not to mention the Cavs' ridiculous odds in the NBA lottery (which I still contend is rigged). I will never feel another ounce of sympathy for a Cleveland sports team ever again in my life - and I don't even want to hear about the Browns, who totally suck and always will. I don't feel bad for them at all.
Speaking of the Cavaliers, they came back from a 3-1 deficit against the Golden State Warriors in last year's NBA Finals, becoming the first team to overcome such odds for an NBA title in the history of the league. I was actually cheering for LeBron in that series, which should say something about how I feel about the Warriors. I still can't believe I brought myself to do such a thing. Well, apparently it's a bit of a sore subject for Bay Area basketball fans, who are still getting their feelings hurt when people bring up the fact that their team choked away an inevitable championship. In fact, take a look at this picture of a decoration at LeBron's Halloween party over the weekend:
Yeah... that's going to be a real uncomfortable joke for Cleveland fans, come tomorrow morning, if the Indians blow a 3-1 lead to the Cubs...
In general, here's my biggest issue - why doesn't the whole world love the Utah Jazz?? Here we are, sitting around moping for two teams who have both already won championships, despite the fact that it has been a very long drought. BUT AT LEAST THEY'VE WON! Why doesn't everyone feel bad for teams like the Jazz who have NEVER WON ANYTHING? I've consigned myself to the fact that the Jazz will never win a championship, and it sucks, but it's true. We'll never win. We'll probably never get back. As a general rule, I don't feel bad for teams who have won championships because mine never will. I'm bitter. Whatever. Anyone who doesn't understand where I'm coming from must not be a sports fan - or got lucky enough to randomly choose (or deliberately pick) teams who win all the time. Whatever.So here's where we stand:
- I want the Cubs to win because I grew up cheering for the franchise, it would be cool to say that the Cubs won a World Series in my lifetime, and I'd feel good for all those 98-year-old ladies with front row tickets who have been praying for the Cubs to win for an entire century. Also, Bill Murray.
- I want the Indians to win because they beat the crap out of a couple of the best teams in the American League on their way to the World Series (Boston and stupid Toronto), and they pitch really, really well about every other game. Plus, I had a couple of their players on my fantasy team this year. Oh yeah - and lest we forget, the Indians' Francisco Lindor stole a base and earned us all free Doritos Locos Tacos, so I shall praise his name forevermore.
- I want the Cubs to lose because it would be hilarious to see all these fake fans switch over to being Indians fans tomorrow morning. I'll call them on it. Believe me. Furthermore, I believe that if the Cubs win, they just won't be as lovable anymore, and I don't want the Cubs to become a team I routinely end up cheering against. Also, Dexter Fowler married a girl I went to high school with and I can't have anyone challenging A-Town for most successful and popular graduate of Alta High School's class of 2005.
- I want the Indians to lose because they're good at pretty much every sport except for football and they're a bunch of crybabies. Also, it would be nice to see the LeBron fans give the "3-1 lead" jokes a rest. I think it's funny because I hate the Warriors, but karma, as they say, is a fickle friend. The irony would be amazing.
Time will tell.
Anyway, all I really want tonight is a good, close, competitive, heartbreaking game. Is that too much to ask?
I'd also like my ward to cancel Wednesday night visits because nobody is ever home, every single week, and I'd hate to have my sports-watching interrupted by a couple dudes from the Elders Quorum, so I'd like that to happen, too. Asking for a miracle, basically.
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