Never give up! Never surrender!

I got passed over for a promotion at work today. It was a writing position. Right up my alley. I defy them to find anyone more qualified for a writing position than I am. Yet they decided not to hire me.

This isn't the first time I've been passed over for a writing job. I've applied for those types of jobs all over the place over the past five years, including trying to get back to the Deseret News, where I feel I have proven my worth and my skills time and time again. This isn't the first time I've been passed over for a promotion at my current place of employment, either. I believe that I was certainly more than qualified for the other job, too, in their social media department.

This has been incredibly frustrating to me. They say that having a degree will open doors for you (not true). Likewise, they say that one door closes, another door opens (not always true). Why would I, with my abundance of relevant experience, my Bachelor's Degree in communications and my award-winning stint in professional writing, so constantly be overlooked? Similarly, why am I 30 years old and still absolutely single and alone? These are two pain points for me that I struggle with quite often. This was not the plan. I was supposed to be married years ago. I should probably have had like two kids at this point. I was supposed to have a solid career in journalism by now. This was not the way I pictured my life to go.

I don't think I'm an incompetent writer. Shakespeare I am not, but I don't think I'm terrible. I'm not a total loser. Ryan Gosling I am not, but I don't think I'm undateable. I'm certainly not the worst option out there. So why aren't things working out for me? What have I done to deserve this constant rejection?

An illustration

People occasionally tell me I should write a book. I appreciate the compliment, but I'm just not that kind of writer. I have never really written fiction, outside of any elementary school assignments. I remember writing a "Mission: Impossible"-type series in like fourth grade and I once attempted to create a science-fiction comicbook about me and some alien friends. I thought it would turn into a Nintendo 64 game at some point, but that didn't pan out. I think if I were to ever write a book, it would have to be a book about overcoming adversity because that's probably the only thing I feel like I know enough about to put together an actual "book." That, or Reality TV Mormons, as I am the world's leading expert on the matter.

Getting rejected so much sucks, don't get me wrong. But I do believe that it has taught me some valuable lessons about self-esteem and provided enough mental ammunition for me to keep trying when the times have been tough. Allow me to illustrate:

My entire department got laid off at Allstate, almost a year to this date. Facebook will remind me of the one-year anniversary any day now. There were a couple good things to come from that:

• I didn't like working in insurance. Boom. Done. Escape route.
• We were given a really good severance package. Boom. Done. Three-month paid vacation.
• They gave us Cafe Rio after they told us that we were no longer employed. We all refused to eat it, out of bitterness, at first, but we eventually gave in. Boom. Done. Free lunch.
• And they set us up with a free job hunting seminar. I can't remember what they called it. Something like an "employment transition workshop," I think.

I reluctantly went to the seminar (I didn't want to admit that I needed help finding a new job), but I'm glad that I did. It helped me realize that sometimes in life I am not the problem. That's not always a good or a healthy thing to think, because sometimes I probably am the problem. But in that case, getting laid off, I was not the problem. There was nothing that I, personally, could have done to prevent it.

Their words, not mine

I would hope that I was not the problem with this most recent failure in the workplace. I felt like I gave a really good interview for this writing position. I've been doing really well at my job recently, even being nominated by my peers and selected by management to fly out to our corporate headquarters in New Jersey next month. I was confident - yet humble, after getting turned down for the social media job that I thought they'd be stupid not to hire me for - so I went in with reasonably low expectations, but (let's be honest) I expected to get the job. I gave well thought-out responses, often prompting the interviewers to remark, "Great answer!" with the accompanying head bob and note-taking. I had wanted this particular job since I first heard about it, probably 6 months ago. I had always hoped that there would be another opening (or one like it) because, as I told them in the interview, it was in a position like this one where I could A) obtain the most personal growth and B) most help the company with my talents. I really wanted this job. Alas, they ended up choosing some girl neither I nor my supervisor had ever seen or heard of.

Here's the "constructive" feedback they gave me about my interview:

• They thought that I could have given a better answer for one particular question they asked.
• "Garbage," I say, because it was one of those questions where the interviewer is looking for a specific answer and they expect you to read their mind. I gave a good answer, I thought, and, when they told me what they had hoped that I would say, I agreed with them, told them that I understood why they'd say that and even gave them an example of their reasoning that I had mentioned in the episode of "Survivor" that I had watched the night before.
• They didn't think I was passionate enough about the position.
• "Inconceivable," I scream, because I remember at least twice during that interview when I told them that this was the job I had wanted for months. I told them that I hadn't applied for other jobs (that they pretty much hire anyone to do) because I always hoped they'd have another opening. I told them that I didn't care about a difference in pay or room to grow into a supervisor because that was what I wanted to be doing for our company.

Bouncing back: some words of encouragement

So I'm pretty upset, I'm pretty frustrated and I'm pretty disappointed. "Disrespected" was a word that came to mind earlier today. Now the question is: how do I bounce back from this? How do I keep my chin up and keep moving forward after being shut down in my two areas of expertise, knowing that, if they didn't hire me this time around, I may not ever be hired for these types of positions at this particular company?

Start looking for another job.

Yeah, maybe.

But in the meantime, what words of comfort can I use to console myself and to remind myself that, in this case (I am pretty sure), I am not the problem?

I have always loved this quote by Marvin J. Ashton, which he gave in a talk to single members of the Church in 1992:

Set your goals—without goals you can’t measure your progress. But don’t become frustrated if the victories don’t come quickly or easily. Remind yourself that striving can be more important than arriving. If you are striving for excellence—if you are trying your best day by day with the wisest use of your time and energy to reach realistic goals—you are a success, and you can feel proud of your accomplishments. [Italics added]

I also really appreciated a story by Dallin H. Oaks that I read in a new(ish) book compiled for young adults called We're With You. Elder Oaks talks about how he had a plan for his life that didn't quite end up the way he envisioned. He talks about how he had planned to serve a mission, which he couldn't because he was called away to war. He came home and got married, then figured that he and his wife would serve a mission later in life. That didn't happen as planned either because he was appointed as a Supreme Court Justice. He planned to serve there for 20 years or so and then serve a couples mission, but he was called to be a general authority just four years into that career. Then, suddenly, his wife passed away, which, of course was not something he had foreseen. He later remarried and is currently surviving (for life) as an Apostle. Says Elder Oaks:

How fundamentally different my life is than I had sought to plan! My professional life has changed. My personal life has changed. But the commitment I made to the Lord - to put Him first in my life and to be ready for whatever He would have me do - has carried me through these changes of eternal importance.

And another, just a few pages later, from D. Todd Christopherson:

The very details of our lives are of importance to God. He cares about all of it - words, works, even thoughts. His interest and love are infinite in this way, and He will respond to our hopes and pleadings and help us in everything, including matters that seem unimportant or insignificant to others or even to ourselves.

That's some good stuff.

Peter-peter-peter-peter... Quincy-quincy-quincy-quincy...

Anyway, I don't know why I felt like blogging about my little disappointment today. I don't know why I felt like sharing these personal thoughts with you people, most of whom barely even talk to me on a weekly basis. But I hope that if there is somebody else out there that is struggling with self-worth or needs a little motivation that you can take it from me - that you do matter, that you are awesome and that you can do it! It might not happen today. It might not happen tomorrow. It might not happen for seven years or maybe even longer. But don't give up on yourself. Hang in there. In the immortal words of Peter Quincy Taggart, "Never give up! Never surrender!"


One of these days, somebody is going to recognize my greatness, and that will be a glorious day. A glorious day, indeed. But until then, I think I'll go make myself a delicious Totino's pizza. Excuse me.

TO BE CONTINUED