There was a point in my life when I was obsessed with movie reviews. I loved reading them. I wanted to know which movies were good, which weren't and which ones I should spend my time and money on.
That is no longer the case. These days, there is only one movie critic that I completely trust.
Myself.
With that in mind, I completely avoided any reviews about "Murder on the Orient Express" because I didn't want any spoilers (as would be incredibly easy to find for a film such as this) and because I wanted to go in and make up my own mind.
It is of note that, without reading any reviews, I did see that the movie was "rotten" on Rotten Tomatoes (currently sitting at 58%) - yet IGN gave it a 9.1 out of 10 - and that Entertainment Weekly said... well... whatever they're trying to say here:
It's a little slow, but that's deliberate.
- In order for a murder mystery to work, you've got to have an intricate cast of characters. In order for an audience to buy into those characters, you've got to take time introducing them and making viewers care about them. And in order for the audience to get sucked into the interweaving backstories of those characters, you've got to take time to explain things.
- Admittedly, I was a little in-and-out of consciousness for a bit toward the beginning of the movie, but that's not the film's fault. It's my fault because I'm an idiot and stayed up way too late last night, and I felt terrible about it because I was afraid that I'd miss a clue or an important conversation. Luckily, I think I was mostly all right.
It's stylish and looks great
- It almost made me wish I lived in that era and could have taken a trip on a fancy train like the Orient Express, until I realized how badly it probably sucked to be living in that era. The costumes were wonderful and the cinematography was tremendous, including one particular shot toward the end of the movie that I immediately recognized as a recreation of a very famous piece of art. It was a cool shot and most certainly done intentionally. Good work.
It's not funny - but it shouldn't be
- In a world where many moviegoers seem to think, "If it's not funny, it must not be good" (cc: any DC Comics movie), I am here to tell you that this logic is simply not true. I think I maybe laughed once or twice throughout "Orient Express," but come on, people - it's a murder mystery, not a comedy. Somebody on the train has been killed. That is hardly a laughing matter, if you ask me. If you want a movie that will try its darndest to make you laugh, go watch "Thor: Ragnarok," which tries too hard, in my opinion, to be funny.
It keeps you guessing - and, of course, I was wrong
- The mark of a good murder mystery is its ability to keep viewers guessing. There's a little thing called "misdirection," and I wasn't going to take that bait. Certainly, the most obvious suspect was not actually going to be the murderer. As one unfamiliar with any Agatha Christie novels, I went into the theater kept my eyes peeled for the smallest of hints, trying to discern who the killer may have been. In the end, I didn't guess correctly (which is a good thing, right?), but realized, in retrospect, that the explanation given at the film's conclusion added up and even somewhat crossed my mind toward the end of the movie.
- On a relatively similar note, I once guess the killer about halfway through a mystery novel. I was so proud of myself for finally getting it right, but was also simultaneously disappointed that the book wasn't written confusingly enough to trick me. It was at that moment that I realized that I'd rather be surprised by the ending than be right all along.
Conclusion
"Murder on the Orient Express" is everything you could ask for in a murder mystery. It's clever, well-acted, has a complex cast of potential suspects and a superb lead in director/actor Kenneth Branagh's double-mustached Hercule Poirot, and even hints at future installments, which I think is great. The plot is intricate and good enough to make me (a non-reader) want to pick up Agatha Christie books for more thrills. If you've got two hours to spare, I would highly recommend "Orient Express," a movie which is completely unique, in comparison to the current superhero-saturated box office, and, in terms of murder mysteries, about as good as it gets.
Rating
4 1/2 out of 5 stars
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