Everything you need to know about WrestleMania 34

It's that time of year yet again! Over the past three years, it has become somewhat of a tradition for me to blog about professional wrestling. I defended wrestling in 2015 in one of my personal favorite blogs, then I gave a wondrous review of WrestleMania 33 in 2017. I am quite positive that none of you are planning on watching the show when it airs live on the WWE Network tomorrow night, but I figured I'd write this blog anyway.

WrestleMania is the biggest show of the year for World Wrestling Entertainment. It features all of the company's biggest stars, offers the biggest stakes and contains all the biggest surprises. The show is dang long - and if you watch it delayed, you'll likely be up until 1:15 in the morning like I was last year. Would. Not. Recommend. So watch it live. And watch it for free. Because you can watch it for free if you're a first-time subscriber to the WWE Network. You might as well. I always say that if you're only going to watch one or two PPV events each year, the Royal Rumble and WrestleMania are the shows you shouldn't miss. Plus, in this "PG Era," it's really not something you have to be ashamed about watching. It's not what it used to be and, if you give it a chance, it's actually a lot of fun.

Here's everything you need to know about WrestleMania and its accompanying Pre-show:

WrestleMania 34 Pre-show:

Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal

• Background: In 2014, WWE announced that they would hold the first annual battle royal to honor the legacy of one of the industry's biggest legends (literally). In this, the fifth annual battle royal match, at least 24 men (currently announced) will enter the ring and attempt to eliminate their opponents by tossing them over the top rope. The last man standing wins a large trophy in the likeness of Andre the Giant.
• What to watch for: Essentially, this is a way for WWE to fit as many wrestlers from the main roster onto "the show" without having to book them in individual matches. "You've had a great year, but we don't have room for you, so you can join the Battle Royal for some screen time." That's really about it. There will probably be some fun moments (the NFL's Rob Gronkowski showed up last year), but nothing major will happen here since the match is going to be on the Pre-show.
• The Smart Bet: Dolph Ziggler
• The Popular Pick: "Woken" Matt Hardy
• SotT Prediction: Elias

WrestleMania Women's Battle Royal

• Background: Feminism at its finest. WWE loves pushing their "Women's Evolution" agenda, as has been blatantly obvious over the past two years (which is fine - but that's literally the only reason this match exists). Currently, 14 women have declared their entry, but this again is little more than a way to shove as much talent into one Pay-Per-View as possible.
• What to watch for: The women's match will be a way to highlight the two relatively new factions, the Riott Squad and Absolution, and will also focus on tension between long-time friends Sasha Banks and Bayley.
• The Smart Bet: Sasha Banks
• The Popular Pick: Bayley
• SotT Prediction: Sonya Deville

Cedric Alexander vs Mustafa Ali for the WWE Cruiserweight Championship

• Background: WWE had to act fast when then-Cruiserweight Champion Enzo Amore got in some hot water with real-life domestic violence allegations, so they vacated the title and held a tournament on 205 Live, which I don't watch and therefore know next-to-nothing about.
• What to watch for: Lots of high-flying action. I've seen Alexander in person several times and he is wildly athletic. This will likely be a very exciting match, but bears very little importance for main storylines in the company right now.
• The Smart Bet: Even Money
• The Popular Pick: No idea
• SotT Prediction: No idea

Main Card:

The Usos (c) vs The New Day vs The Bludgeon Brothers for the SmackDown! Tag Team Championship

• Background: The Usos have maintained the SmackDown! tag championships for a large portion of the past year. They have faced (and beaten) basically everyone on SmackDown! and have looked dominant doing it. The New Day are fan favorites and are easily the second best tag team for the Blue Brand. They will face the revamped tag team of (Luke) Harper and (Erick) Rowan, who apparently agreed to trade their first names for big, fake sledgehammers. The Bludgeon Brothers have brutalized a bunch of "local talent" recently and also notably injured members of the Usos and The New Day in the process.
• What to watch for: Harper and Rowan will probably get booked as total bruisers, landing devastating power moves over the course of the match, while the Usos will take to the air and The New Day will find a way to cleverly incorporate pancakes.
• The Smart Bet: The Usos
• The Popular Pick: The New Day
• SotT Prediction: The Usos
• Analysis: If the Bludgeon Brothers win, we riot. That would be an absolute travesty. SmackDown! would really benefit from a roster shake-up post-Mania to pump some fresh blood into the tag division.

The Bar (c) vs Braun Strowman and ??? for the Raw Tag Team Championship

• Background: Braun Strowman, everybody's favorite monster, single-handedly won a tag team battle royal on Raw a few weeks ago, earning a title shot at WrestleMania. The problem with that, though, is that Strowman has to have an opponent to compete for the belts.
• What to watch for: Who will Strowman's partner be?
• The Smart Bet: Braun Strowman and mystery partner
• The Popular Pick: Braun Strowman and mystery partner
• SotT Prediction: The Bar (probably)
• Analysis: If Braun's partner is Big Show, Braun wins. If his partner is anyone other than Big Show, he loses. I feel like this is one area where the writers really blew it. They had several opportunities to reveal Strowman's mystery partner (or bend the rules and let him compete 2-on-1) and failed to do so. The Bar has had a great run and they're a fantastic tag team, but they've lost some steam and should probably move in another direction after WrestleMania, one way or the other. If Strowman loses, he should be placed squarely into the Intercontinental Championship mix, moving forward.

The Miz (c) vs Seth Rollins vs Finn Balor for the Intercontinental Championship

• Background: The Miz has been an IC title mainstay for quite some time. He gave up the championship temporarily a couple months ago so he could go film a movie, but immediately got it back by defeating Roman Reigns on his first Raw back in action. Over time, Balor and Rollins confronted The Miz and demanded a shot at the belt, and the three have been at each other's throats for about a month now.
• What to watch for: The Miz is one of the most talented wrestlers on the microphone and it would not surprise me to see him cut a great promo at some point during the night. 
• The Smart Bet: The Miz
• The Popular Pick: Finn Balor
• SotT Prediction: The Miz
• Analysis: This should be a very good match. I think The Miz genuinely loves holding this belt and he is the best "heel" character in the company right now. This would be a nifty time for the Miztourage (Bo Dallas and Curtis Axel) to double-cross their mentor, which I see as the only way The Miz loses his championship. This is my pick for the second best match of the night.

Randy Orton (c) vs Bobby Roode vs Jinder Mahal vs Rusev for the United States Championship

• Background: Orton, Roode and Mahal have been battling each other for several months. Rusev, the underdog darling right now, is hotter than at any other point in his mid-card career, and is arguably the most universally cheered-for wrestler on the roster. He was added to the match in a late development on SmackDown!, perhaps to give the fans what they've been begging for - RUSEV DAY!
• What to watch for: The fans are going to flip if Rusev wins the championship. His "Rusev Day" gimmick is the best thing since "The List of Jericho" last year.
• The Smart Bet: Randy Orton
• The Popular Pick: Rusev
• SotT Prediction: Rusev
• Analysis: I think Orton probably would have retained if this had stayed a triple threat match, but I think Rusev will pull off the upset here. To borrow a phrase from Bobby Roode, it will be absolutely... GLORIOUS!

Rumored: John Cena vs The Undertaker

• Background: The Undertaker presumably "retired" after losing to Roman Reigns at WrestleMania 33. This brought his once-legendary WrestleMania record to 23-2. The show went off-air with Taker leaving his signature hat and trenchcoat in the middle of the ring, seemingly signifying that he was done with wrestling. John Cena was without an opponent for this weekend's show, so he called out the Undertaker a month ago on Raw. However, the Dead Man didn't take the bait, remaining completely silent each week. Cena has resigned to a fate of attending WrestleMania "as a fan," but there are rumblings that it's not whether the Undertaker will show up on Sunday night, but how.
• What to watch for: Cena will undoubtedly be a high profile "fan" during the early stages of the show. It will be interesting to see how the writers will set up a potential response from the Undertaker - and how Cena deals with that response.
• The Smart Bet: The Undertaker
• The Popular Pick: Believe it or not, John Cena
• SotT Prediction: The Undertaker
• Analysis: This is the second storyline that I think WWE botched hardcore. Cena cut some amazing promos over the past month - so good, in fact, that the typically anti-Cena crowd was unanimously cheering for the former "Doctor of Thuganomics" on Monday night. That's something you don't witness very often. I think that the way they let this play out - with Undertaker remaining completely silent - made him look really bad. If he shows up Sunday and loses, that completely tarnishes his legacy, in my opinion. With that in mind, if he does show up, there is no way he's losing.

Kevin Owens and Sami Zayn vs Shane McMahon and Daniel Bryan

• Background: For the past few months, SmackDown! General Manager Daniel Bryan has defended the villainous actions of Kevin Owens and Sami Zayn, often getting the injury-riddled GM in trouble with his superior, commissioner Shane McMahon. When K.O. and Zayn hospitalized McMahon two weeks ago, Bryan had to step in and "fire" them. K.O. and Zayn then turned their aggressions toward their bearded boss - on the same day that it was announced Bryan had been medically cleared to return to in-ring action. It was later announced that Bryan would team up with McMahon to fight against their attackers.
• What to watch for: The crowd will love seeing Bryan return to action, after years of being sidelined, and the ramifications of the match are steep - if Owens and Zayn lose, they're completely fired from SmackDown!
• The Smart Bet: Kevin Owens and Sami Zayn
• The Popular Pick: Shane McMahon and Daniel Bryan
• SotT Prediction: Kevin Owens and Sami Zayn
• Analysis: Bryan/McMahon was the clear pick until it was announced that Owens and Zayn would be "fired" if they lost. Perhaps if the stipulation had been "If you lose, you're traded to Raw," it would be more believable that they'd lose, but they're not going to get totally fired. That's too bad, because it would be really great to see Bryan victorious.

"Rowdy" Ronda Rousey and Kurt Angle vs Stephanie McMahon and Triple H

• Background: Rousey, formerly of UFC superstardom, has signed a full-time contract with WWE. During her contract signing at WWE's "Elimination Chamber" event, Raw GM Kurt Angle hinted to Rousey that Triple H and Stephanie McMahon solely hired her for their own gain - as a way to make her a glorified subordinate. This infuriated Rousey, who demanded a match with McMahon. Angle offered to make it a tag match, which Triple H agreed to.
• What to watch for: This is WWE's first chance to show off their newest acquisition. Rousey has looked lousy so far, demonstrating a major lack of mic skills and a limited physical skill set, but social media would lead me to believe that she has been training very hard in the ring.
• The Smart Bet: Ronda Rousey and Kurt Angle
• The Popular Pick: Ronda Rousey and Kurt Angle
• SotT Prediction: Ronda Rousey and Kurt Angle
• Analysis: This is the most obvious no-brainer on the entire card. There is no way that Rousey loses her first match in the WWE. For entertainment purposes, this will be the match everyone is talking about on social media on Monday morning.

Alexa Bliss (c) vs Nia Jax for the Raw Women's Championship

• Background: Former best friends Bliss and Jax have recently been at odds after a live mic caught Bliss talking trash about her former ally. This set Jax off, causing her to trash a locker room and eventually leading to their Mania match.
• What to watch for: This is Jax's first title shot, which is long overdue. Jax has been underutilized for the majority of her run on Raw, so this should be her time to shine. On the other hand, Bliss has been a great villain and is adept at finding loopholes and shortcuts to victory. The two have great chemistry on Raw and are real-life BFFs, so this should be a well-worked fight with a satisfying finish.
• The Smart Bet: Alexa Bliss
• The Popular Pick: Nia Jax
• SotT Prediction: Alexa Bliss retains, Carmella successfully cashes in her Money in the Bank contract
• Analysis: The third thing that WWE has handled terribly has been Carmella's Money in the Bank contract. To make a long story short (too late), Carmella just wasn't the right woman to win that opportunity. I literally can't remember the last time she won a televised match, but yet she has held that briefcase, which grants a guaranteed title shot at any time, for nearly 300 days. Typically, the successful Money in the Bank cash-ins have come when the champion has been laid out after a match or attack. I can see Alexa cheating to beat an angry Nia Jax, sending Jax into a fit of rage and a post-match beat-down. If Nia lays out Alexa, that would be the perfect time for Carmella to cash in.

Charlotte Flair (c) vs Asuka for the SmackDown! Women's Championship

• Background: Asuka, who holds an undefeated streak dating back to October 7, 2015, won the Women's Royal Rumble match in January, which guaranteed her a title shot at WrestleMania. She decided to face Charlotte Flair, daughter of 16-time world champion Ric Flair, who is arguably the most talented female superstar the company has seen in the better part of a decade.
• What to watch for: Either Asuka will win her first championship, which people have been anticipating since she joined the main roster, or Charlotte will snap Asuka's streak.
• The Smart Bet: Asuka
• The Popular Pick: Asuka
• SotT Prediction: Asuka
• Analysis: I highly, highly doubt they'd break Asuka's streak without her winning a title first. I mean, of all the places to break it, WrestleMania is the best opportunity, but I don't see it happening.

AJ Styles (c) vs Shinsuke Nakamura for the WWE Championship

• Background: Nakamura won the Men's Royal Rumble and decided to face his long-time frenemy, AJ Styles. The two formerly wrestled together in Japan, so they're no strangers to each other. The match is being hailed as a "WrestleMania Dream Match" by many.
• What to watch for: Styles is widely considered to be the best in-ring performer in WWE today, and Nakamura's unorthodox fighting style makes him one of the most exciting wrestlers. This match is my pick to be the showstopper of the night - easily an early "match of the year" candidate, by all indications leading up to the fight.
• The Smart Bet: Shinsuke Nakamura
• The Popular Pick: Shinsuke Nakamura
• SotT Prediction: AJ Styles
• Analysis: I successfully picked Shinsuke to win the Royal Rumble, and I'm glad he's getting this opportunity. I always imagined him winning, but I've recently thought about it and think that too many other titles will be changing hands - and the odds of WWE going with two new champions that really struggle speaking English might not be the best way to go. I think Shinsuke has a better chance of losing his match than Asuka does, so I'm going to have to go with AJ, although I would love to see Shinsuke with his hand raised at the end of what will quite possibly be the best match of the evening.

Brock Lesnar (c) vs Roman Reigns for the WWE Universal Championship

• Background: Brock Lesnar defeated Goldberg last year to win the Universal Championship. The company loves the idea of Roman Reigns as "the next big thing," but fans long ago grew tired of having Reigns shoved down their throats, therefore developing a brazen hostility toward him which has been festering for years.
• What to watch for: It's time for Reigns to take a trip to Suplex City! Count the number of German suplexes that Lesnar inflicts upon Roman; there will be plenty of them. The match will certainly end with the two trading finishing moves back and forth until both are nearly incapable of continuing.
• The Smart Bet: Roman Reigns
• The Popular Pick: Roman Reigns
• SotT Prediction: Roman Reigns
• Analysis: I heard rumors about this match BEFORE LAST WRESTLEMANIA. It's widely known that Vince McMahon loves Roman Reigns and envisions him as "the guy" to take the torch from Cena, much to the WWE Universe's dismay. Lesnar has been a part-time champion for an entire calendar year and he's got to lose the strap this weekend. He's got to. Either give the championship to somebody else or make Lesnar go full-time and defend his championship at every major PPV - not just four times a year or whatever nonsense he just pulled. Somewhat unfortunately, Roman is the only hope we've got this time around.
• Closing moments: If this match closes the show, which I believe it's supposed to, I think there is going to be a surprise attack on Roman Reigns. My prediction is that Samoa Joe returns from injury and blindsides Roman, then proceeds to beat the holy heck out of him. The show closes with a close-up shot of Joe's sweaty, drooling face as he glares nastily into the camera with the Universal Championship belt raised high above Reigns' prostrate body.

So there you have it! That's all you need to know about WrestleMania 34! And if, by chance, you didn't actually read this blog, you'll get little vignettes before each match to recap the storylines. I'll post a recap blog after the show to grade the matches and break down all the highs, lows and utterly ridiculous surprises that will be in store. Enjoy the show!