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Monday, August 5, 2019

"Stranger Things: Season 3" Power Rankings


A funny thing happens when Netflix simultaneously releases all episodes of a new season of a popular program. Apparently, a LOT of people watch the whole thing that same day. Such was the case this past Fourth of July.

According to variety.com, Season 3 of the mega-popular Neflix Original "Stranger Things" reached 26.4 million unique users between July 4 - July 7, 2019, including an estimated 824,000 viewers who watched the entire eight-episode season within 24 hours.

Sheesh.

I, on the other hand, was on vacation in the mountains at the time the new season of "Stranger Things" hit Netflix, and I didn't get a chance to even start watching it for about a week. What I've come to learn is that, in this era of Millennial binge-watching, if you snooze, you lose. In this case, I snoozed on watching the season (and, subsequently, with sending out a poll for another round of power rankings), and I lost out on the popularity of this post. Basically, I missed the golden window of "Stranger Things" hype this time around, and, at this point, I am not sure anyone is even still talking about it.

Regardless, I feel an obligation to post updated character rankings, and am prepared to do so now. Also, I'm not really going to issue a clear and obvious SPOILER WARNING because if you took the time to read this, you were probably one of the people who binge-watched it all in one sitting, so congratulations, good for you and thanks for reading.

First, let me say that I really enjoyed Season 3 and think that it was probably the best season so far. Certainly, leaps and bounds better than Season 2, which, in retrospect, was not very good.

Secondly, let me point out that practically all of the so-called "bold predictions" we made in our Season 2 Virtual Roundtable were completely wrong. However, I did somewhat accurately predict that somebody would end up moving away from Hawkins. I'll add that to the tally of things that I have ever guess correctly, bringing my grand total, I think, to three.

And lastly, if you want a refresher of our Season 2 Power Rankings, click here.

Here we go:


Biggest Movers: Billy Hargrove, +10; Mike Wheeler, -9
New This Season: Robin, Murray "Bald Eagle" Bauman, Erica Sinclair, Alexei, Suzie the Mormon, Mrs. Wheeler, Mayor Larry Kline
Dropped From the Rankings: Bob "The Brain" Newby, Eight/Kali

Quick Analysis:

  • Jim Freaking Hopper. Two straight seasons at #1! (No way he's actually dead, BTW. Not a chance.)
  • Big season for Billy Hargrove, who was infested by the Mind Flayer and put up quite the fight against Eleven and the gang before his untimely and somewhat heroic demise. Also rose in popularity with middle-aged women.
  • Bad season for many of the O.G.s, including Mike, Will and Lucas, who all dropped no fewer than five spots in the rankings.
  • On the other hand, Eleven bounced back from a rough stretch in Season 2, and Dustin Henderson maintained his spot at #3.
  • Despite a lackluster showing from our favorite food court worker, Steve Harrington stayed in the top 10, landing at #6 but failing to land a date with his co-worker, who, it turns out, was a lesbian all along.
  • Speaking of which... There were a ton of new faces in Season 3, as well as the re-emergence of some minor characters from the last couple years. Scoops Ahoy sleuth Robin had a strong debut at #5, and the Russian-speaking duo of Murray "Bald Eagle" Bauman and Alexei wound up, INCREDIBLY IRONICALLY, at #7 and #11, respectively. Lucas' diminutive and incredibly annoying sister, Erica, crawled her way up the ranks to her ultimate destination at #9.
  • 'Twas an unfortunate first impression for Suzie the Mormon, Mrs. Wheeler and Mayor Larry Kline, who all debuted at the bottom of the power rankings. Better luck next time, folks.

There you have it! How did you like Season 3? Any major objections to the way the power rankings shook out? Let us know in the comments below, on Facebook or Twitter... unless you've moved on and don't want to talk about it anymore, in which case we totally understand.

Catch you on the flip side, friends. 🙃🙃🙃

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