FanX 2024: Ernie Hudson discusses the lasting impact of 'Ghostbusters'

During FanX Salt Lake Comic Convention's opening press conference for its 2024 convention, I was able to ask a question to Ernie Hudson, who is most famous for playing Winston Zeddemore in the "Ghostbusters" movie franchise. Hudson, who was in a great mood that Thursday morning - and looking absolutely JACKED, for a 78-year-old - gave a thoughtful response to my question (and others) during the few minutes in which he sat at the microphone.

Here's what he had to say.

Signs of the Times: Hey, Ernie. My name’s Aaron, and I’m running the Twitter account for the convention this weekend. First of all, I just wanted to say thank you so much for coming.

Ernie Hudson: It’s great to be here.

SotT: When I was younger, I loved "Ghostbusters" - one of my favorite movie franchises - and now, as a parent, it’s so fun to introduce these movies to my own children. I have a son that’s almost four, and I was a little nervous to get him into "Ghostbusters" - I thought it might be too spooky - but he loves it. So, I was wondering if you could just touch on […] the longevity of that franchise, obviously, being one of the main Ghostbusters in the '80s, and now, being kind of a caretaker or steward of the franchise, moving forward.

EH: You don’t realize, you don’t plan those things, or you don’t even understand the impact that it would have. I think if studios knew how to make a hit, all the movies would be hits, but you really have no idea how people will react and respond. It’s one of those things that… I think we all have this sort of fear of what’s to happen. As I get older, I count friends who’ve "transitioned." We know that it’s not a forever thing. I think we’re always aware of that, throughout our lives. Little kids are concerned about who’s in the closet when the lights go out. I mean, it touches some primal part of us, and I think the movie does that in a way that’s comedic. It’s funny. We can laugh at our fears. But it crosses generations in an amazing way. Not all movies do that. “The Crow” was a movie that was very popular, at a certain stage in life, but then the older people didn’t necessarily respond to it, or little kids, but there’s a time in life, you know? There’s a period. But “Ghostbusters,” it’s sort of… I think I was watching the 30th anniversary showing in Chicago, and there were older people – [in their] 80s, 90s – little kids, and they were all laughing at different things, but they all found something in it that they responded to. […] I’m just very, very thankful to have been a part and that it still stands.

*****

This is the first of several posts with exclusive content from FanX 2024. Keep it here for all the good stuff. You can also leave a comment below, follow us on Twitter (here and here) and try to find us on Facebook for more pop culture conversations.

Until next time.

MLB TV Viewing Stats - 2024

Another baseball season has come and gone, which means that it's time for me to crunch some numbers and, for no other reason than to satisfy my own curiosity, see how many games I watched this year. This is the (*counts on fingers*) SEVENTH YEAR?!? that I've done this, which is crazy, but it actually is a pretty helpful way of helping me determine whether I'm getting any value out of my subscription.

I won't go into great detail to explain a lot of how and why I do the things that I do, but if you're really curious, you can go back and check out some of my older MLB TV blogs.

Anyway, let's get down to business.

Stats Tracked on the Spreadsheet:

Basically nothing changed on my spreadsheet this year, although I did add one extra column to (hopefully) help me more easily keep track of whether I watched the home team or the road team's broadcast. Here's a quick refresher on what I kept track of for each game that I watch:

• Road team
• Home team
• Home or Road Broadcast
• Winning team
• W/L result of the team whose broadcast I watched
• Duration of viewing
• 1-2 innings: "Minimal"
• 3-4 innings: "Partial"
• 5-7 innings: "Most"
• 8-9 innings: "Full"
• Any interesting notes about the game

Persisting Factors that Affected Viewing Habits:

• All Arizona Diamondback and Colorado Rockies games are blacked out in Utah. It still makes no sense.
• Any nationally televised games (FOX, ESPN, TBS, etc.) are not viewable on MLB TV.
• I work from home and have two young children whose first priority of entertainment during the day is not watching sports.
• I've been married for five years now, which means that my first priority of entertainment at night can't be watching sports, either.

Untracked Games:

As was the case last year, I can't remember any games that I watched that were not broadcast on MLB TV. For the second year in a row, I didn't go on a baseball trip, so I didn't watch any MLB games in person. Maybe next year.

Total Number of Games Watched and Cost Per Game:

• I'll use the same basic explanation that I gave last year: if all 30 Major League teams play 162 games a season, and if each single game counts as two "games played" (one game for the home team and one game for the road team), that equals a total of 4,860 games played.
• Accounting for ReGiOnAl BlAcKoUtS of the Arizona Diamondbacks and Colorado Rockies, as well as nationally televised games, I have been lowering the maximum amount of games I would have had access to down to 4,356 games per season.
• I watched a total of 61 baseball games this season, or a total of 122 "games played."
• This is 10 more games than I watched in 2023.
• Based on the approximate number of 4,356 "games played" that I had access to, I watched about 2.8% of those games, a 0.5% increase from last year.
• This year's MLB season ran from March 28 - September 30, a duration of 187 days. For the past two years, I have been using the guideline that I could "reasonably" watch one baseball game per day. I mean, I probably could. Do I watch one game per day? Of course not. But I probably could. For most of this season, it would probably reasonable for me to watch one game per week. But we'll just keep going with it, I guess.
• I watched a total of 61 games throughout the 187-day season, which is 32% of the maximum number of games that I reasonably could have watched - a 5% increase from how much I watched last year.
• Here is the evolution of that percentage since 2018:
• 2018: 11%
• 2019: 26%
• 2020: 29%
• 2021: 17%
• 2022: 31%
• 2023: 27%
• 2024: 32% - A new record!
• This year, I ended up paying the full cost of the subscription (my brother Austin is a big Dodgers fan but currently lives in South Carolina, which would have him staying up until like 2 in the morning any time he wanted to watch a game on the west coast, so I don't really blame him for not wanting in this year). As usual, I divided the cost of my subscription by the number of games that I watched, which came out to about $2.42 per game.

Let me take a break here and say something. I am extremely proud of myself for running this cost down this year. I realized in about mid-August that I was not watching much baseball - and that my cost per game was, at that point, more than $6 per game watched, which would absolutely not make this subscription worth it in the future. On August 25, I watched my 24th game of the season, meaning that I went on a freaking tear and watched at least a minimal part of 38 games in 36 days. In that span, I lowered my cost per game by almost $4 per game, which is absolutely crazy. Heeeeeeeeck yeah. Anyway, very proud of myself. Now, where were we?

• Here is how my cost-per-game ratio has developed over the years:
• 2018: $2.85/game
• 2019: $1.85/game
• 2020: $1.97/game
• 2021: $1.83/game
• 2022: $1.14/game (split cost)
• 2023: $2.94/game
• 2024: $2.42/game

Duration of Viewing:

The following is a breakdown of how long I watched each game, based on the definitions I established many years ago, in order of duration:

• Most (5-7 innings): 21 games (34%)
• Partial (3-4 innings): 18 games (30%)
• Full (8-9 innings): 13 games (21%)
• Minimal (1-2 innings): 9 games (15%)

Times Watched on the Team's Local Broadcast (Out of 61 Games Watched):

Here is this year's leaderboard for how many times I intentionally tuned into a team's local broadcast:

1. Texas Rangers: 23
   
2. Cleveland Guardians: 6
3. Seattle Mariners: 5
4. Atlanta Braves: 3
   Baltimore Orioles: 3
   Los Angeles Dodgers: 3
   Washington Nationals: 3
5. Cincinnati Reds: 2
   Miami Marlins: 2
   Philadelphia Phillies: 2
   San Diego Padres: 2
   San Francisco Giants: 2
   Tampa Bay Rays: 2
6. Kansas City Royals: 1
   Los Angeles Angels: 1
   Toronto Blue Jays: 1

Times Watched (Total, Out of 102 Total Teams Watched):

Here is a breakdown of how many times I watched all of the other teams play, regardless of which broadcast I tuned into:

1. Texas Rangers: 23
   
2. Seattle Mariners: 10
3. Cleveland Guardians: 7
   Tampa Bay Rays: 7
4. Chicago White Sox: 5
   Oakland A's: 5
   San Diego Padres: 5
5. Atlanta Braves: 4
   Baltimore Orioles: 4
   Los Angeles Angels: 4
   Philadelphia Phillies: 4
   St. Louis Cardinals: 4
   Toronto Blue Jays: 4
   Washington Nationals: 4
6. Chicago Cubs: 3
   Detroit Tigers: 3
   Houston Astros: 3
   Kansas City Royals: 3
   Los Angeles Dodgers: 3
   Miami Marlins: 3
   Minnesota Twins: 3
7. Boston Red Sox: 2
   Cincinnati Reds: 2
   New York Mets: 2
   Pittsburgh Pirates: 2
   San Francisco Giants: 2
8. Milwaukee Brewers: 1

There were three teams that I didn't watch a single time this year: the Diamondbacks and Rockies (because I couldn't), and the Yankees (because I hate them).

Overall Win/Loss Record:

• This year, teams I tuned in to watch went 36-25, which is all right with me. The teams I watched had some hot streaks and some cold streaks, but I feel like I got to see some pretty good games, overall. This was my second-highest winning percentage since I started tracking this stuff, and my best season since 2019.
• Running W/L percentage tracker:
• 2018: .534
• 2019: .625
• 2020: .410
• 2021: .492
• 2022: .404
• 2023: .490
• 2024: .590

Home/Road Split:

• I tuned into 25 home broadcasts (41%) and 36 road broadcasts this year (59%).
• When I watched a team's home broadcast, those teams went 20-5 (.800), which is totally insane.
• When I watched a team's road broadcast, those teams went 16-20 (.444).
• Regardless of whose broadcast I watched, the home team went 40-21 (.656).
• Regardless of whose broadcast I watched, the road team went 21-40 (.344).

Editor's note: For the record, that was probably the fastest that I have ever done that math.

W/L Records for Teams Whose Broadcast I Watched:

1. Los Angeles Dodgers: 3-0 (1.000)
   Philadelphia Phillies: 2-0 (1.000)
   San Diego Padres: 2-0 (1.000)
   San Francisco Giants: 2-0 (1.000)
   Los Angeles Angels: 1-0 (1.000)
   Toronto Blue Jays: 1-0 (1.000)
2. Cleveland Guardians: 5-1 (.833)
3. Atlanta Braves: 2-1 (.666)Seattle Mariners: 3-2 (.600)
4. Texas Rangers: 12-11 (.522)
   
5. Cincinnati Reds: 1-1 (.500)
   Miami Marlins: 1-1 (.500)
6. Baltimore Orioles: 1-2 (.333)
7. Kansas City Royals: 0-1 (.000)
   Tampa Bay Rays: 0-2 (.000)
   Washington Nationals: 0-3 (.000)

W/L Records for Every Team I Watched, Regardless of Broadcast:

1. Los Angeles Dodgers: 3-0 (1.000)
   Minnesota Twins: 3-0 (1.000)
   Boston Red Sox: 2-0 (1.000)
   San Francisco Giants: 2-0 (1.000)
   Milwaukee Brewers: 1-0 (1.000)
   
2. Philadelphia Phillies: 3-1 (.750)
   St. Louis Cardinals: 3-1 (.750)
3. Cleveland Guardians: 5-2 (.714)
4. Detroit Tigers: 2-1 (.666)
   Houston Astros: 2-1 (.666)
5. Texas Rangers: 12-11 (.522)
6. Atlanta Braves: 2-2 (.500)
   Cincinnati Reds: 1-1 (.500)
   New York Mets: 1-1 (.500)
   Pittsburgh Pirates: 1-1 (.500)
7. Los Angeles Angels: 2-2 (.500)
   Toronto Blue Jays: 2-2 (.500)
8. San Diego Padres: 2-3 (.400)
9. Chicago Cubs: 1-2 (.333)
   Miami Marlins: 1-2 (.333)
10. Seattle Mariners: 3-7 (.300)
11. Baltimore Orioles: 1-3 (.250)
12. Oakland A's: 1-4 (.200)
13. Kansas City Royals: 0-3 (.000)
    Washington Nationals: 0-4 (.000)
    Chicago White Sox: 0-5 (.000)
    Tampa Bay Rays: 0-7 (.000)

Man, what a horrible year for the Rays. Yikes.

Miscellaneous Stats or Other Interesting Things That Happened:

• The first game I watched this season was former Rangers color commentator CJ Nitkowski's first game as a Braves broadcaster. I knew I recognized that voice!
• I saw big innings, like the Rangers scoring 10 runs in the second inning in a game early in the season. I saw bad defense, like the Astros' back-up third baseman having four errors in a span of three or four innings.
• I saw controversial calls! I saw walk-off wins and losses! I saw blown leads to terrible teams, including the Chicago White Sox - the worst team in MLB history! I saw big comeback victories! I turned games off that I should have kept watching! And I almost certainly kept watching games that I should have turned off!
• I saw the Braves get shut out for the first time in over a year.
• In a rather strange series of events, I turned a game on in the third inning and the first two pitches I saw were hit for home runs by the opposing team. Lovely!
• I teams' season opener. I watched a game on Father's Day. I watched a Dodgers game last week that my parents and brothers were attending.
• I watched a Guardians game in which Emmanuel Clase tied the franchise record for saves.
• And speaking of history, most impressively, I was watching the game when Shohei Ohtani passed the 50 home run/50 stolen bases club, in which he posted an absolutely ABSURD stat line of 6/6, 3 HR, 4 R, 10 RBI, 2 SB. This performance pretty much single-handedly saved my fantasy baseball season and led me all the way to the championship, so... Shohei? Thank you. From the bottom of my heart.

Final Thoughts:

Last season, I ended my blog by saying, "Next year, I better either split the cost or just watch like a dozen more games to make me feel better about myself." Well, I watched 10 more games this year than I did last year, and I feel pretty good about myself. I feel good about myself because I really, really slacked this year. I don't know exactly what the cause was - probably that the WORLD SERIES CHAMPION TEXAS RANGERS just weren't very good this year - but I realized in mid-August that I had a long way to go in order to make this subscription worth it. And you know what? I think I did a pretty good job, there in the final month and a half of the season.

That's about it. I'll be watching the playoffs a little bit, most likely, but not with anywhere near the anxiety or engagement as I did last year. As long as the Astros don't win, everything will be ok.

Until next time!

FanX Flashback - Andy Serkis Panel Highlights (FanX 2023)

 

FanX 2023 was a very strange convention. The SAG-AFTRA strike was still (somehow) going strong, which prevented pretty much all of the celebrity guests from speaking about any of their work. This led to some very strange questions during panels and, in retrospect, makes some of the audio we recorded borderline unlistenable.

One of the standout panels of the weekend, however, was Andy Serkis - arguably, one of FanX 2023's headliners. Without going into too much detail about his most famous roles (Gollum from "The Lord of the Rings," in particular), Serkis gave some great and very thoughtful responses to the cornucopia of "Favorite Childhood _________" questions with which he was bombarded during his 45-minute spotlight. This post contains some snippets of some of our favorite moments. Enjoy!

What was the plan if acting didn’t work out?

Andy Serkis: I never, ever intended to be an actor. I actually started off studying art. Literally, from the age of six or seven, I was given my first set of paints, and I started painting, and that really became what I wanted to do, up until the age of 18. I went to college, and it was only when I was in college, in Lancaster University, in the north of England… In the first year, you had to do another course, and I wasn’t even aware of that. I was going to study visual arts, and I thought that’s what I was going to do. And no, you had to do this first-year, other course, and there happened to be a Theater Studies department, and so I started designing props and making sets and posters for the shows and using my artistic skills, thinking that that would help with my Visual Art degree. Then, I started acting in plays – very small roles – and then they gradually got bigger and bigger. And then, by the end of the first year, I played a part that was a really significant role, and that literally changed my life. […] When I went to Art college, my parents were horrified. They were horrified. And then, at the end of the first year, I said, “It’s ok, I’m not going to do art anymore – I’m going to become an actor!” And they’re like… [mimics his parents’ reaction, audience laughs]. Silence on the other end of the phone. Total, total silence. They were terrified for me. They just thought, “What is he doing?” It took them a long time to figure out, actually, that it wasn’t too bad of a profession.

On misconceptions about motion-capture acting:

AS: There’s a whole misunderstanding about what motion-caption – or “performance-capture,” as it is known now… Motion-capture is born out of the medical industry, actually. It was a way of tracking injury – tracking, like, if you’d broken your ankle, it could track your gate – put markers on the broken points and see how your recovery, your rehabilitation was working. Then, it started to be used in the video game world, to track athletes’ and martial artists’ movements, and so on. So, that’s why it was called “motion-capture” – it was literally capturing physical motion. But when we started using it in the film industry, it became, very quickly, “performance-capture” because it was allowing an actor to see an avatar version of what they were doing on a screen. The very first time I actually had the opportunity of working on a character using the technology, [I] could lift my arm up, and then I would see the avatar character lift his arm up. It was a huge kind of epiphany for me that this was a way of becoming the marionette and the puppeteer at the same time. You’re driving this digital image so that it copies everything that you’re doing. When facial-capture came along, which was the next stage – a crucial stage – of becoming “performance-capture” – that was literally tracking every single facial expression. And then, when you’re capturing audio and physicality and [facial expressions], all at the same time, that was when it became “performance-capture,” and that happened over the course of maybe three or four years.

The moderator mentions how early Disney movies used to bring in live actors for the character motion, then animate over them.

AS: It’s kind of a more-21^st-Century version of that. That was called “rotoscoping.” For instance, [the character] Snow White, as you may know, was performed by an actress who danced [for the dancing scenes], which was then, frame by frame, drawn, and then those movements became what drove the animation.

 

On who he feels has influenced his career:

AS: I’ve been inspired by countless actors [and] directors, over the years. […] I’ve been a huge admirer of Charlie Chaplin, a huge admirer of Lon Cheney and Charles Laughton… Over the course of the years, you realize that the craft of acting goes back such a long way. As actors and performers, […] you pay homage to previous… If you’re film-directing, you’re looking at other people’s shots, you’re looking at other people’s… things that you’ve really committed to, emotionally. So, in terms of filmmakers, Martin Scorsese’s pictures… I remember seeing “Apocalypse Now” when I was 14 years old, and it was the thing that made me want to become a filmmaker. It was such a powerful movie. You sort of end up being a magpie along the road in your career. You end up taking little bits from here and there. Your taste is a sort of sum of so many different, other, previous, brilliant artists’ work. Whether you’re conscious of it or not, you do. That becomes your version, as it were – the culmination, the accumulation of all of those things becomes how you want to express or tell a story.

 

Reflecting on groundbreaking developments in cinema:

AS: You think back to films like “The General” – Buster Keaton – where some of the most extraordinary stunts were created, for real – "Ben Hur,” all of those films. And now, of course, we live in a world where so much can be created digitally, and there’s a lot more safety, as a result. But I look at those films in complete awe, in terms of the management and the skill and how those big stunts were pulled off.

 

On whether he does any good vocal impressions:

AS: I recently did a series of readings of Tolkien’s books… [Audience cheers] The books… It would be fair to say that I channeled some of the actors. [Audience laughs] I’m not an impersonator. I’m actually not a good mimic. My wife, actually, is a very, very good mimic. That’s a fantastic skill, and I really admire it in people. I love people who can really just get a tonality absolutely right, just by observation. Apart from that experience of sort of channeling people, I’ve had to play people in the past […] – and, again, we can’t talk about the specifics [because of the then-ongoing SAG-AFTRA strike] – but I’ve had to play real people in the past, and I’ve studied them. It’s interesting, when you’re playing someone in history or someone who’s existed, because you have to find a way of making them your own, so that you’re not just an impersonation, because that would be wrong and not really servicing the story that you’re telling. So, you find a way of bringing them to you and meeting that character so that it feels real to you, vocally, and, [for] the audience, they shouldn’t have to imagine that it is anything but that character. So, actually, it’s a meeting of you and that character.

 

On where he considers “home” to be:

AS: Basically, really, whenever all my family is together – wherever it is in the world, wherever we are – as long as we are all together, that is “home” for me. […] We’ve reached that phase of our lives, my wife and I, where all of our kids are just leaving home. It’s such a strange, bizarre… I’m sure many, many people who are listening here have gone through this at some time… but it’s this curiously, kind of wonderful thing because you’ve done part of your job – your job as a parent never ends, of course – but they’ve gone off and started to make their own lives and live their own lives. You let them out and let them out, and now they’re gone. And yet, you want them to come back! It’s this curious thing. It’s quite delicious, being at home when it’s just the two of us, and then you think, “Aww,” and you think about your kids all the time. And then they come home, and it’s just, like, “Go away. Get married.” [Audience laughs] It’s this amazing sort of push and pull between “They’ve got to go off and do their own thing” and “Um, you know, they haven’t texted me for four days.” It’s a very curious, curious thing. “Home” really is when we’re all together.

 

On his favorite books when he was younger:

AS: Some of the very early books that I read were The Phantom Tollbooth. I love that book. I love that book. The Hobbit was one of the first books I ever read, and Animal Farm, which is one of my favorite books. I suppose they were all that had a fable or a fairy tale or had fantasy elements – not surprisingly – but were fables – strong stories with underlying messages. When you first start reading books which have adult themes but they’re for young people to… they work on lots of different levels… those are the sorts of books that I love to read, I suppose.

 

On whether he collected anything as a kid:

AS: I loved Spider-Man and I love Batman and “Joe 90” and all the “Thunderbirds” puppets. I had connected models of all the monsters. I had those kits – those model kits – of Godzilla and King Kong, all those amazing model kits – Mummy and Frankenstein. One of the things my mom had… she collected dolls from all around the world. We sort of travelled around quite a bit, when I was growing up, because my father was Iraqi, and he lived in Baghdad, and my sisters all grew up in Baghdad. When I was born, my mom decided she wanted to come back to England, but we used to go back and forth to Iraq, when my dad was working, all the time. So, she used to travel a lot around the world, and she used to collect dolls. I was quite fascinated by this collection of dolls from, literally, all around the world, where my parents travelled. I think it left a marked impression on me because I’ve always loved figures and making stop-motion, really short movies with figures. It’s very strange to get to a point in your life where you start to see figures of [yourself] – that’s kind of weird – all of the characters you’ve been involved in. But it is fun. Like today, you’ve all brought them along for me to signs, and that’s kind of a strange thing because it’s like the stories that you’ve been involved in, having another life as a character that means something to you that you bring back to the actor that’s played that character… It’s a very interesting circle, for sure.

 

On rumors that he would drink a special juice to help him do the voice of one of his most iconic characters:

AS: People think of me as a “voice actor,” and, actually, I’m really not a voice actor because the voice is a part of creating a character. The voice is linked to physicality and the voice is linked to psychology, so I never think of myself as someone who just does a voice or picks a voice. It’s always connected to the way a character moves or thinks or feels. It’s an interesting perception that people have. But, that aside, the “juice” side of things, I do, when I’m working and it’s a particularly demanding role – which, will eventually, if you don’t lubricate, then it’s going to cause you damage… So I did create – for a certain character which we can’t talk about [because of the strike] – a juice that’s made lemon, honey and ginger, and so on and so forth, which I just kind of had to drink constantly, just to keep things going, really. And that is, yeah. And it was named after the character that I played, which we can’t talk about – it was what I called that juice. It was the “Hmmmmm” juice.

*****

Serkis will be a featured guest at FanX 2024 next week, along with his LOTR costars Elijah Wood, Sean Astin, Billy Boyd, Dominic Monaghan and John Rhys-Davies.

If you missed any of our other FanX 2023 content, you can still catch up on a "Star Wars" reunion panel, an "Indiana Jones" reunion panel, and an exclusive chat with John Rhys-Davies.

We hope to rub shoulders with a few more celebrities next week, and we'll certainly have some audio transcriptions from some of the fun panels and events going on. So, for all of your FanX needs... you know where to keep it.

In the meantime, leave us a message in the comments below, chat us up on Facebook, and follow us on Twitter (here and here).

Until next time.

Signs of the Times SUPERFIGHT: Championship Match

This is it. The end of it all. The final step to the angelic throne of pop culture superiority. We began with 64 combatants selected from real decks of the party game "Superfight," set them up in a March Madness-style bracket, gave each fighter a unique ability or characteristic, staged each fight in a unique location with a random scenario and challenge, then had Microsoft Copilot determine a winner for every matchup, based on a silly objective for victory. We've seen dominance, we've seen shocking upsets. We've seen twists, we've seen turns. We've laughed, but not yet cried. We have actually, surprisingly, really enjoyed this. It ended up being a lot lengthier and a lot more work than we ever anticipated, but it has been a lot of fun, and we wouldn't completely rule out another mega-tournament like this at some point in the future. But time will tell, and we will take it one day at a time.

But right now, we've got incredibly important and pressing matters to take care of. First, however, if you - by some odd and completely illogical happenstance - have made it to this post and have absolutely no idea what's going on, please go back and start at the beginning, then meet us back here in however many days it takes you to read all the dang words that we've typed over the past 48:

First Round, Part 1    First Round, Part 2

Second Round    Third Round (Super 16)

Fourth and Fifth Rounds (Epic Eight and the Final Four Fighters)

Now that you're ready to go, let's get in touch with Microsoft Copilot, which we can only imagine is chomping at the bit to determine a winner for us in an unprecedented six paragraphs of beautiful storytelling. Copilot, our friend, what is up? Are you ready for this or what?? And, also, thank you so much for putting up with this crazy tournament. Our real-life friends and family would have been bored out of their minds an hour ago, so you are a true champion, and we deeply respect you.

You said it, Copilot! Let's go!!

*****

SIGNS OF THE TIMES SUPERFIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH

Fighter 1: Wolverine

Fighter 1 Attribute: Can control machines

Fighter 2: Mr. Rogers

Fighter 2 Attribute: Can stretch like rubber

Scenario: Area covered in gasoline

Location: DMV

Winner Determined By: One of those crazy Japanese game shows

AI Prediction: In the most unexpected of settings, the DMV, Wolverine and Mr. Rogers prepare for their final showdown. The area is covered in gasoline, adding a layer of danger and unpredictability to the match. Wolverine, with his ability to control machines, surveys the room filled with various mechanical devices and office equipment. Mr. Rogers, with his rubber-like stretching ability, remains calm and composed, ready to adapt to whatever challenges come his way. The stage is set for a battle determined by one of those crazy Japanese game shows, known for their wild and unpredictable challenges.

As the game show begins, the first challenge is a classic obstacle course. Wolverine uses his control over machines to manipulate the course, moving obstacles out of his way and creating shortcuts. His agility and strength allow him to navigate the course with ease, but Mr. Rogers' stretching ability gives him an edge in flexibility. He stretches and contorts his body to slip through tight spaces and avoid obstacles, moving with surprising speed and grace. The gasoline-covered floor adds to the difficulty, making every step a potential hazard.

The next challenge involves a series of bizarre and humorous tasks, typical of Japanese game shows. Wolverine’s strategic mind and control over machines help him complete tasks quickly and efficiently. He uses office equipment to his advantage, turning mundane items into tools for success. Mr. Rogers, however, approaches each task with creativity and a positive attitude. His ability to stretch like rubber allows him to perform feats that leave the audience in awe. The contrast between Wolverine's calculated approach and Mr. Rogers' inventive solutions makes for an entertaining and closely contested match.

As the challenges continue, the tension builds. The gasoline-covered floor becomes a significant factor, with both fighters needing to be cautious to avoid any sparks that could ignite the area. Wolverine's control over machines gives him a tactical advantage, allowing him to manipulate the environment to his favor. He uses the DMV's machinery to create barriers and distractions for Mr. Rogers. However, Mr. Rogers' stretching ability and calm demeanor help him navigate these obstacles with ease. His positive attitude and adaptability keep him in the game, matching Wolverine's every move.

In the final challenge, a high-stakes game of endurance and balance, both fighters give it their all. Wolverine's strength and control over machines allow him to maintain his balance and outlast many of the mechanical traps set by the game show. Mr. Rogers, with his rubber-like flexibility, uses his stretching ability to stay balanced and avoid pitfalls. The gasoline-covered floor adds an element of danger, but both fighters manage to avoid any catastrophic accidents. The audience is on the edge of their seats, watching as the two competitors push themselves to their limits.

Ultimately, the winner is determined by the overall performance and the ability to entertain and captivate the audience. While Wolverine’s tactical brilliance and control over machines are impressive, it's Mr. Rogers' creativity, flexibility, and positive spirit that win the day. His ability to stretch like rubber and his calm, kind demeanor make him a crowd favorite. The judges, impressed by his inventive solutions and unwavering positivity, declare Mr. Rogers the winner of the championship match. In this thrilling and unexpected finale, Mr. Rogers' unique abilities and heartwarming approach secure his victory, making him the ultimate champion of the tournament.

Signs of the Times SUPERFIGHT Champion: Mr. Rogers

*****

Truly, an incredible and infinitely unexpected result! Mr. Rogers is our champion! Our AI companion is on the scene of the gasoline-soaked DMV, where Mr. Rogers is about to address the nation. He steps up to the microphone and here is what he says, according to Microsoft AI:

Mr. Rogers steps up to the podium, his warm smile radiating kindness and gratitude. The crowd falls silent, eager to hear his words. "Thank you, everyone, for this incredible journey," he begins, his voice calm and reassuring. "I want to express my deepest gratitude to all the competitors who made this tournament so special. Each of you brought something unique and wonderful to the table, and it was an honor to share this experience with you."

Turning to Wolverine, Mr. Rogers continues, "Wolverine, you are a remarkable opponent. Your strength, resilience, and strategic mind are truly inspiring. Competing against you was a challenge that pushed me to be my very best, and for that, I thank you." His words are sincere, and the respect between the two fighters is palpable.

Addressing the audience, Mr. Rogers offers some motivational words for future champions. "To those who dream of becoming the Signs of the Times Superfight champion, remember that it’s not just about winning. It’s about how you play the game, how you treat others, and how you overcome challenges with grace and creativity. Believe in yourself, stay true to your values, and never underestimate the power of kindness and imagination."

He concludes with a heartfelt message, "In every competition, and in life, it's important to remember that we are all neighbors. Let’s support each other, learn from each other, and strive to make the world a better place. Thank you all for this unforgettable experience." The crowd erupts in applause, celebrating not just a champion, but a true embodiment of compassion and inspiration.

 

What an inspirational message for us all. May we treasure those words in our hearts for the rest of our lives, and may we embody the stretchy, rubbery spirit of Mr. Rogers in our every action.

That's all from us here at Signs of the Times. Thank you for joining us on this riveting journey of unspeakable competition and limitless imagination.

If you have any kind words to say about the tournament, please consider leaving a comment on this post, looking us up on Facebook, and following us on Twitter (here and here).

Now, with our hearts truly changed, we must retire to bed. What a life-changing experience this has been.

Until next time.

Signs of the Times SUPERFIGHT: The Epic Eight and the Final Four Fighters

We are just a few more rounds away from absolute greatness and eternal glory, friends. You've tuned into Round 4 and Round 5 of the first-ever (and perhaps not only - who knows?) Signs of the Times SUPERFIGHT! We have been pitting some of the greatest historical figure and pop culture icons against each other in the weirdest fights conceived by man - and determined by artificial intelligence! We are down to the final eight combatants! It's getting REAL, people!

You, under no circumstances, should have made it this far without reading how on earth we got here in the first place, but in the rare event that you have, please do yourself a favor and read up on all of the action that you somehow missed:

First Round, Part 1    First Round, Part 2

Second Round    Third Round (Super 16)

Let's check in, quickly, on Microsoft Copilot, which is so graciously assisting us in this task. How's it going, Copilot?

With no more gilding the lily, as it were, let us proceed to the fourth round. Here, we're going to allow the AI to write up four paragraphs to determine the winner. We'll also be doing the fifth round in this post, in which Copilot will get an additional paragraph to decide our two finalists!

Onward!

*****

THE EPIC EIGHT

NORTHWEST BRACKET FINALS

Fighter 1: Wolverine

Fighter 1 Attribute: Can control machines

Fighter 2: Abraham Lincoln

Fighter 2 Attribute: Armed with red turtle shells

Scenario: Fighters have tiny T-Rex arms

Location: Haunted mansion

Winner Determined By: Best at evading intergalactic bounty hunters

AI Prediction: In the eerie setting of a haunted mansion, Wolverine and Abraham Lincoln face off with the peculiar handicap of having tiny T-Rex arms. Wolverine, with his ability to control machines, quickly assesses the mansion's old, creaky infrastructure. He uses his power to manipulate the various mechanical elements within the mansion, such as the ancient clocks, creaky doors, and even the ghostly apparitions that seem to be powered by hidden mechanisms. Abraham Lincoln, armed with red turtle shells, must rely on his strategic mind and the limited reach of his tiny arms to hurl the shells effectively.

As the battle progresses, the haunted mansion's spooky atmosphere adds to the tension. Wolverine's control over the mansion's machinery gives him an edge in navigating the labyrinthine corridors and avoiding the ghostly traps. He uses the mansion's hidden passages and secret doors to stay one step ahead of Lincoln. Meanwhile, Lincoln, with his historical knowledge and tactical prowess, tries to anticipate Wolverine's moves. He uses the red turtle shells to create barriers and distractions, aiming to slow down Wolverine's progress.

The real challenge, however, comes when intergalactic bounty hunters enter the scene. These relentless pursuers add a new layer of danger to the already intense battle. Wolverine's ability to control machines proves invaluable as he uses the mansion's defenses to fend off the bounty hunters. He reprograms the ghostly apparitions to attack the hunters and uses the mansion's traps to his advantage. Lincoln, despite his best efforts, finds it increasingly difficult to evade the bounty hunters with his limited arm reach and lack of technological control.

In the end, Wolverine's mastery over the mansion's machinery and his strategic use of the environment allow him to outmaneuver both Lincoln and the bounty hunters. His ability to stay hidden and manipulate the mansion's defenses ensures his survival. Lincoln, though valiant and resourceful, cannot match Wolverine's technological edge and adaptability. Thus, Wolverine emerges as the best at evading the intergalactic bounty hunters, securing his victory in this haunted and high-stakes showdown.

Winner: Wolverine

 

NORTHEAST BRACKET FINALS

Fighter 1: Mr. Rogers

Fighter 1 Attribute: Can stretch like rubber

Fighter 2: Forrest Gump

Fighter 2 Attribute: Can't turn left

Scenario: Fighters are elderly

Location: Jurassic Park

Winner Determined By: Roller Derby (Team sport: all fighters multiply by 5)

AI Prediction: In the thrilling and dangerous environment of Jurassic Park, Mr. Rogers and Forrest Gump, both elderly and wise, prepare for a roller derby match with a twist: each fighter multiplies by five, creating teams of five elderly Mr. Rogers and five elderly Forrest Gumps. Mr. Rogers, with his ability to stretch like rubber, brings a unique advantage to the game, while Forrest Gump's inability to turn left adds an interesting challenge for his team. The roller derby track winds through the park, with dinosaurs occasionally making unexpected appearances, adding to the excitement.

As the match begins, Mr. Rogers' team uses their stretching abilities to maneuver around the track with surprising agility. They can extend their limbs to block opponents and reach for the ball, creating a dynamic and unpredictable game. Forrest Gump's team, despite their limitation of not being able to turn left, relies on their sheer determination and teamwork. They develop a strategy to navigate the track by making wide right turns, using their persistence and endurance to keep up with Mr. Rogers' team.

The presence of dinosaurs adds an extra layer of danger and thrill to the game. Raptors and T-Rexes occasionally cross the track, forcing both teams to dodge and weave around these prehistoric obstacles. Mr. Rogers' team, with their rubber-like flexibility, can stretch and contort to avoid the dinosaurs, while Forrest Gump's team uses their quick thinking and adaptability to stay out of harm's way. The combination of roller derby and Jurassic Park creates a high-stakes, adrenaline-pumping atmosphere.

In the end, it's Mr. Rogers' ability to stretch like rubber that gives his team the edge. Their flexibility and creative use of their stretching powers allow them to outmaneuver Forrest Gump's team and score more points. Despite Forrest Gump's team's valiant efforts and clever strategies, they can't quite match the versatility and adaptability of Mr. Rogers' team. Thus, Mr. Rogers and his stretchy teammates emerge victorious in this unique and thrilling roller derby match set in the heart of Jurassic Park.

Winner: Mr. Rogers

 

SOUTHEAST BRACKET FINALS

Fighter 1: Darth Vader

Fighter 1 Attribute: Is elderly

Fighter 2: Chuck Norris

Fighter 2 Attribute: Armed with the One Ring

Scenario: Fighters are undead

Location: Canada

Winner Determined By: Thing you'd least want to meet in a dark alley

AI Prediction: In the serene yet eerie setting of Canada, the undead forms of Darth Vader and Chuck Norris prepare for a confrontation that will determine which of them is the thing you'd least want to meet in a dark alley. Darth Vader, now elderly but still imposing, wields his lightsaber with a slow, deliberate menace. Chuck Norris, armed with the One Ring, has an aura of invisibility and power that makes him even more formidable. The Canadian wilderness, with its vast forests and quiet towns, provides a stark contrast to the dark and dangerous nature of the fighters.

As the battle unfolds, Darth Vader's presence is chilling. His slow, mechanical breathing and the glow of his lightsaber create an atmosphere of dread. Even in his undead state, his mastery of the Force and his reputation as a Sith Lord make him a terrifying opponent. Chuck Norris, with the One Ring, can vanish from sight, striking fear into anyone who might encounter him. His martial arts skills, combined with the ring's power, make him an unpredictable and deadly adversary.

The undead nature of both fighters adds to the horror. Vader's skeletal frame and decaying armor, coupled with his dark powers, make him a nightmarish figure. Chuck Norris, with his undead resilience and the ability to appear and disappear at will, becomes a ghostly predator. The Canadian setting, with its misty forests and quiet, snow-covered streets, amplifies the sense of isolation and fear. The thought of encountering either of these undead warriors in a dark alley is enough to send shivers down anyone's spine.

In the end, it's Darth Vader's sheer presence and the fear he instills that make him the thing you'd least want to meet in a dark alley. His combination of dark powers, undead menace, and legendary status as a Sith Lord create an aura of terror that is unmatched. While Chuck Norris with the One Ring is undeniably formidable, the iconic and chilling image of Darth Vader in the shadows is what ultimately secures his victory in this spine-tingling showdown.

Winner: Darth Vader

 

SOUTHEAST BRACKET FINALS

Fighter 1: Heisenberg (Walter White)

Fighter 1 Attribute: Is super effective

Fighter 2: Genghis Khan

Fighter 2 Attribute: Shoots magic missiles

Scenario: Fighters multiply by 100

Location: Labyrinth

Winner Determined By: Worst boss

AI Prediction: In the intricate and twisting corridors of a labyrinth, the battle between Heisenberg and Genghis Khan takes on an epic scale as both fighters multiply by 100. The labyrinth, with its endless passages and hidden traps, becomes a chaotic battlefield filled with 100 super-effective Heisenbergs and 100 Genghis Khans shooting magic missiles. The sheer number of combatants creates a scene of intense strategy and relentless action, with each side trying to outmaneuver and outlast the other.

Heisenberg, known for his meticulous planning and ruthless efficiency, uses his super-effective nature to coordinate his clones with precision. Each Heisenberg works in unison, setting up traps and using the labyrinth's layout to their advantage. They create choke points and ambushes, leveraging their knowledge of chemistry and strategy to outsmart the enemy. Genghis Khan, with his formidable combat skills and the ability to shoot magic missiles, leads his clones in a relentless assault. The magic missiles create a barrage of explosive power, forcing the Heisenbergs to constantly adapt and reposition.

As the battle rages on, the labyrinth itself becomes a testament to the cunning and brutality of both leaders. Heisenberg's clones, with their cold, calculating approach, demonstrate why he is feared as a mastermind. They use every trick in the book to gain the upper hand, showing no mercy and exploiting every weakness. Genghis Khan's clones, driven by their leader's legendary ferocity, push forward with relentless aggression, their magic missiles lighting up the dark corridors of the labyrinth. The clash between Heisenberg’s strategic brilliance and Genghis Khan's raw power creates a spectacle of epic proportions.

In the end, the winner is determined by who would be the worst boss. Heisenberg's ruthless and manipulative nature, combined with his willingness to sacrifice anything and anyone to achieve his goals, makes him a truly terrifying boss. His clones' cold efficiency and lack of empathy highlight the lengths he would go to maintain control and power. Genghis Khan, while undeniably brutal and fearsome, is driven by a warrior's code and a desire for conquest. Heisenberg's calculated cruelty and manipulative tactics ultimately make him the worst boss, securing his victory in this intense and strategic showdown.

Winner: Heisenberg

*****

We have our final four fighters! What we will do now is look for a winner from the West brackets (Northwest vs Southwest) and ultimately pit them against the winner from the East brackets (Northeast vs Southeast). As stated previously, Copilot will have five paragraphs to determine these winners, then we'll move on to one final post, where we'll crown our true hero - the victor of victors.

Before we start the semi-finals, let's ask Copilot how it's hanging in there and if there's anything we can do for it before we proceed.

Copilot. What a friend. What a pal.

All right. Let's get to the semi-finals and determine our finalists!

*****

THE FINAL FOUR FIGHTERS

WEST FINALS

Fighter 1: Wolverine

Fighter 1 Attribute: Can control machines

Fighter 2: Darth Vader

Fighter 2 Attribute: Is elderly

Scenario: Fighters are literally buried in paperwork

Location: Jungle

Winner Determined By: Weaponized go-kart racing

AI Prediction: In the dense and humid jungle, Wolverine and an elderly Darth Vader find themselves literally buried in paperwork. The jungle's vibrant greenery contrasts sharply with the mountains of documents that surround them. Wolverine, with his ability to control machines, quickly starts to clear a path through the paperwork, using any nearby machinery to his advantage. Darth Vader, despite his age, uses the Force to lift and move the papers, creating a clear space for himself. The jungle's natural sounds mix with the rustling of paper, creating an unusual and chaotic atmosphere.

As they dig their way out, both fighters spot a pair of weaponized go-karts waiting for them. The go-karts are equipped with various gadgets and weapons, ready for a high-stakes race through the jungle. Wolverine, with his enhanced senses and reflexes, quickly jumps into his go-kart, using his control over machines to fine-tune its performance. Darth Vader, moving with the deliberate precision of a seasoned warrior, climbs into his go-kart, using the Force to enhance his control over the vehicle. The race begins with a roar, as both fighters speed off into the jungle.

The jungle terrain proves to be a challenging course, with narrow paths, dense foliage, and unexpected obstacles. Wolverine uses his ability to control machines to navigate the tricky terrain, adjusting his go-kart's settings on the fly to handle the rough patches. He also uses the go-kart's weapons to clear obstacles and create shortcuts. Darth Vader, despite his age, demonstrates his mastery of the Force, using it to sense and react to the jungle’s challenges. He uses the go-kart's weapons with deadly accuracy, targeting Wolverine's kart and the obstacles in his path.

As the race intensifies, the two fighters engage in a fierce battle, using their go-karts' weapons to try and gain the upper hand. Wolverine's control over machines allows him to anticipate and counter many of Vader's moves, but Vader’s experience and the Force give him an edge in strategy and precision. The jungle's natural hazards add to the excitement, with both fighters narrowly avoiding pitfalls and dangerous wildlife. The race becomes a test of skill, strategy, and endurance, with neither fighter willing to give an inch.

In the final stretch, Wolverine's ability to control machines proves to be the deciding factor. He uses his power to boost his go-kart's speed and maneuverability, allowing him to pull ahead of Vader. Despite Vader's best efforts and his formidable use of the Force, he cannot match Wolverine's technological edge. Wolverine crosses the finish line first, securing his victory in this intense and thrilling weaponized go-kart race. The jungle, now littered with paperwork and the remnants of their battle, stands as a testament to their epic showdown.

Winner: Wolverine

EAST FINALS

Fighter 1: Mr. Rogers

Fighter 1 Attribute: Can stretch like rubber

Fighter 2: Heisenberg

Fighter 2 Attribute: Is super effective

Scenario: Fighters are wearing high heels

Location: An infinite water slide

Winner Determined By: Most legendary pro wrestler

AI Prediction: In the surreal setting of an infinite water slide, Mr. Rogers and Heisenberg (Walter White) prepare for a battle to determine who would be the most legendary pro wrestler. Both fighters, wearing high heels, face the challenge of maintaining their balance on the slippery surface. Mr. Rogers, with his ability to stretch like rubber, has an advantage in flexibility and maneuverability. Heisenberg, being super effective, brings a level of precision and ruthlessness to the fight that makes him a formidable opponent. The water slide's endless twists and turns create a dynamic and unpredictable battleground, adding to the excitement.

As they slide down the infinite water slide, Mr. Rogers uses his rubber-like stretching ability to navigate the course with ease. He can extend his limbs to grip the sides of the slide, allowing him to perform acrobatic moves and avoid obstacles. His calm and composed demeanor contrasts sharply with the chaotic environment, making him a surprisingly agile and graceful competitor. Heisenberg, on the other hand, uses his super effective nature to analyze the slide's layout and optimize his movements. He maintains a low center of gravity, using his heels to dig into the slide and control his speed, showcasing his strategic brilliance.

The high heels add an element of comedy and challenge to the battle, with both fighters occasionally slipping and sliding in unexpected ways. Mr. Rogers' ability to stretch helps him recover quickly from any missteps, while Heisenberg's strategic mind allows him to anticipate and counter Mr. Rogers' moves. The infinite water slide becomes a stage for their wrestling prowess, with each fighter using the environment to their advantage. Mr. Rogers' rubbery flexibility allows him to perform impressive wrestling holds and escapes, while Heisenberg's effectiveness ensures that every move he makes is calculated and impactful.

As the battle intensifies, the two fighters engage in a series of spectacular wrestling maneuvers. Mr. Rogers uses his stretching ability to wrap around Heisenberg, creating a unique and inescapable hold. Heisenberg, with his super effective nature, counters with precise strikes and strategic positioning, trying to break free. The water slide's endless descent adds to the drama, with both fighters constantly adapting to the changing environment. The crowd, watching from various points along the slide, is captivated by the display of skill and creativity.

In the end, the title of the most legendary pro wrestler goes to Mr. Rogers. His ability to stretch like rubber gives him a unique edge in the wrestling world, allowing him to perform moves that no other wrestler could. His calm and kind demeanor, combined with his surprising agility and flexibility, make him a crowd favorite. Heisenberg, despite his super effective nature and strategic brilliance, cannot match the sheer spectacle and creativity of Mr. Rogers' wrestling style. The infinite water slide, now a testament to their epic battle, witnesses the rise of Mr. Rogers as the most legendary pro wrestler in this whimsical and thrilling showdown.

Winner: Mr. Rogers

 

*****

What a thrilling and unexpected pair of battles. We would not have predicted these finalists in a million years, but it will all come down to this! Wolverine versus Mr. Rogers in an incredible duel for all of the marbles.

Let's speak with Copilot to see how it's doing and what it expects from our grand finale!

Who, indeed! Well, all right. We've come this far... and there is only one fight left. Give us your hot takes in the comments below. Did we do Forrest Gump dirty by not letting him keep Master Chief's Force ability for the rest of the tournament? Did you truly believe that Mr. Rogers would take down Heisenberg? Let us know! You can also find us on Facebook and follow us on Twitter (here and here) for more non-stop action.

We've got a championship match to attend! Click on over and find out who wins in the Signs of the Times SUPERFIGHT Championship Match!

Until next time.

Signs of the Times SUPERFIGHT: The Super 16

Here we are with the Signs of the Times SUPERFIGHT's Super 16! That's right, we're down to just 16 competitors remaining in our mega-battle of pop culture legends. What a round we just had, narrowing down the field of 32. Our AI friend, Microsoft Copilot is having a wonderful time, too. Don't believe us? Just ask!

If you've missed out on any of the action, take a few minutes to catch back up by reading the other posts before proceeding:

First Round, Part 1    First Round, Part 2

Second Round

In this next round, we will have eight battles, with two of our remaining fighters facing off in some of the most interesting altercations you could ever imagine. We're going to let the AI describe the fights in three paragraphs this time around, which should hopefully provide for more details about the locations, scenarios and events leading up to the eventual winners.

After this round, we'll be narrowed down to eight fighters, then to four, then two, and then we'll have our ultimate SUPERFIGHT champion of the universe. We know we can't wait, and we assume you can't, either, so let's get to it!

Here we go!

*****

NORTHWEST BRACKET

FIGHT 1

Fighter 1: Canada

Fighter 1 Attribute: Can create a lightning field that shocks anyone within 10 feet

Fighter 2: Wolverine

Fighter 2 Attribute: Can control machines

Scenario: Area filled with laughing gas

Location: Giant trampoline

Winner Determined By: Musical chairs

AI Prediction: In the surreal setting of a giant trampoline filled with laughing gas, the battle between Canada and Wolverine begins with an electrifying twist. Canada, embodying the spirit of the nation, activates their lightning field, creating a crackling aura that shocks anyone within 10 feet. The trampoline's bouncy surface amplifies the unpredictability of the fight, as both fighters struggle to maintain their balance while laughing uncontrollably due to the gas. Wolverine, with his ability to control machines, quickly realizes that the trampoline itself can be manipulated. He uses his power to alter the trampoline's tension, causing Canada to bounce erratically.

As the fight progresses, the laughing gas starts to take its toll, making it increasingly difficult for both fighters to focus. Canada's lightning field continues to pose a significant threat, but Wolverine's healing factor allows him to withstand the shocks better than most. He cleverly uses the trampoline's springs and mechanisms to create barriers and distractions, trying to outmaneuver Canada. The laughter-induced chaos adds a layer of unpredictability, with both fighters occasionally collapsing into fits of giggles, only to spring back into action moments later.

When the musical chairs portion of the battle begins, the trampoline's surface becomes even more chaotic. Chairs appear and disappear at random intervals, adding to the confusion. Wolverine's agility and quick reflexes give him an edge as he leaps from chair to chair, avoiding Canada's lightning field. In a final burst of speed and strategy, Wolverine manages to secure the last chair just as the music stops, narrowly winning the round. Despite the shocking challenges, Wolverine's control over the environment and his resilience ultimately lead him to victory in this whimsical and electrifying showdown.

Winner: Wolverine

 

FIGHT 2

Fighter 1: Abraham Lincoln

Fighter 1 Attribute: Armed with red turtle shells

Fighter 2: Willy Wonka

Fighter 2 Attribute: Is riding a hoverboard

Scenario: Fighters are six inches tall

Location: An alternate dimension where winning is losing

Winner Determined By: Battle of the Bands

AI Prediction: In this bizarre alternate dimension where winning is losing, Abraham Lincoln and Willy Wonka face off in a truly unique battle. Both fighters, now only six inches tall, find themselves in a world where the rules of reality are twisted. Lincoln, armed with red turtle shells, uses his strategic mind to hurl these projectiles with precision, aiming to knock Wonka off his hoverboard. Wonka, ever the eccentric inventor, zips around on his hoverboard, dodging the shells with surprising agility. The environment itself seems to shift and change, adding to the surreal nature of their confrontation.

As the battle progresses, the focus shifts to the Battle of the Bands. Lincoln, with his deep, resonant voice, takes the stage first. He delivers a powerful performance, channeling the spirit of unity and freedom through his music. The crowd, a mix of strange creatures from this alternate dimension, is moved by his heartfelt lyrics and commanding presence. Wonka, however, is not to be outdone. He steps up with a whimsical and enchanting performance, using his hoverboard to perform dazzling aerial stunts while playing a variety of unusual instruments. His show is a feast for the senses, filled with vibrant colors and imaginative sounds.

In the end, the paradoxical nature of the dimension comes into play. Despite Lincoln's powerful performance and Wonka's captivating showmanship, the true winner is the one who loses. Lincoln, with his humble and selfless nature, graciously accepts defeat, understanding the deeper meaning of the dimension’s rules. Wonka, always one to embrace the unexpected, celebrates his "loss" with a grand finale of fireworks and candy showers. In this topsy-turvy world, it's Lincoln's willingness to lose that ultimately makes him the victor in spirit, while Wonka's joyful acceptance of the outcome ensures both fighters leave the stage as winners in their own right.

Winner: Abraham Lincoln

 

NORTHEAST BRACKET

FIGHT 1

Fighter 1: Mr. Rogers

Fighter 1 Attribute: Can stretch like rubber

Fighter 2: Iron Man

Fighter 2 Attribute: Thinks the floor is lava

Scenario: All attributes disabled

Location: Infinite Ice rink

Winner Determined By: Most interesting thing to see in a zoo

AI Prediction: In the serene yet slippery setting of an infinite ice rink, Mr. Rogers and Iron Man face off in a battle where their usual attributes are disabled. The rink stretches endlessly in all directions, creating a surreal and tranquil environment. Both fighters, known for their distinct personalities and strengths, must now rely on their creativity and charm to win the contest. Mr. Rogers, with his gentle demeanor and profound wisdom, skates gracefully, embodying the calm and kindness he is known for. Iron Man, without his suit's advanced technology, must rely on his wit and charisma.

The challenge of determining the most interesting thing to see in a zoo brings out the best in both competitors. Mr. Rogers, ever the educator and storyteller, begins to describe a magical exhibit featuring a harmonious community of animals living together in peace. He paints a vivid picture of a place where lions and lambs coexist, where children can learn about empathy and the beauty of nature. His vision is one of unity and wonder, capturing the essence of what makes a zoo a place of learning and joy.

Iron Man, on the other hand, takes a more futuristic approach. He envisions a high-tech zoo where visitors can interact with holographic animals from different eras, including dinosaurs and mythical creatures. His zoo is a blend of cutting-edge technology and educational experiences, offering a glimpse into the past and the future. The exhibits are designed to be immersive and interactive, making learning an adventure. In the end, the judges are captivated by both presentations, but it's Mr. Rogers' heartfelt and imaginative vision that resonates the most. His ability to inspire and connect with people on a deeper level makes his zoo the most interesting, securing his victory in this unique and heartwarming battle.

Winner: Mr. Rogers

 

FIGHT 2

Fighter 1: Forrest Gump

Fighter 1 Attribute: Can't turn left

Fighter 2: Master Chief

Fighter 2 Attribute: Uses the Force

Scenario: Players swap attributes

Location: Zoo

Winner Determined By: Mud wrestling

AI Prediction: In the lively setting of a zoo, Forrest Gump and Master Chief prepare for a mud wrestling match with a twist: they've swapped attributes. Forrest, now wielding the Force, finds himself with newfound abilities that he approaches with his characteristic simplicity and determination. Master Chief, on the other hand, must navigate the challenge of not being able to turn left, a significant handicap for a seasoned warrior used to full mobility. The zoo's vibrant atmosphere, filled with the sounds of animals and curious onlookers, adds an extra layer of excitement to the showdown.

As the match begins, Forrest uses the Force to his advantage, attempting to control the environment and create obstacles for Master Chief. He lifts mud and zoo debris with ease, trying to unbalance his opponent. Master Chief, despite his inability to turn left, relies on his combat training and strategic mind to counter Forrest's moves. He uses the zoo's layout to his advantage, maneuvering around enclosures and using the terrain to keep Forrest on his toes. The mud wrestling pit becomes a battleground of wits and agility, with both fighters slipping and sliding in the thick muck.

In the end, it's Forrest’s unexpected mastery of the Force that gives him the upper hand. He manages to use his new powers to create a mud wave that sweeps Master Chief off his feet, pinning him down just long enough to secure the win. Despite the unusual circumstances and the swapped attributes, Forrest's adaptability and simple yet effective use of the Force lead him to victory. The crowd, entertained by the spectacle, cheers for both fighters, appreciating the unique and spirited contest they witnessed.

Winner: Forrest Gump

 

SOUTHEAST BRACKET

FIGHT 1

Fighter 1: Darth Vader

Fighter 1 Attribute: Is elderly

Fighter 2: Star-Lord

Fighter 2 Attribute: Is riding a war elephant

Scenario: Fighters chained together with a 30-foot chain

Location: On a gigantic magnet

Winner Determined By: Most notorious outlaw

AI Prediction: On a gigantic magnet, the clash between an elderly Darth Vader and Star-Lord riding a war elephant begins with a dramatic tension. The 30-foot chain connecting them adds a layer of complexity, forcing them to stay within a certain range of each other. Darth Vader, despite his age, still exudes a menacing presence, his lightsaber igniting with a familiar hum. Star-Lord, atop his massive war elephant, uses the beast's strength and size to his advantage, trying to keep a safe distance from Vader's deadly weapon. The magnet's pull affects both fighters, making their movements more deliberate and challenging.

As the battle unfolds, Vader's experience and mastery of the Force come into play. He uses the chain to his advantage, pulling Star-Lord closer and attempting to disarm him. The war elephant, though powerful, struggles against the magnetic forces, making it difficult for Star-Lord to maintain control. Star-Lord, with his quick thinking and resourcefulness, tries to use his gadgets and the elephant's sheer power to counter Vader's attacks. The magnet's influence creates a unique battlefield, with metal objects and debris occasionally flying towards the fighters, adding to the chaos.

Ultimately, the winner is determined by who is the most notorious outlaw. Darth Vader, with his long history as a Sith Lord and enforcer of the Empire, has a reputation that spans galaxies. His name alone strikes fear into the hearts of many, making him one of the most infamous figures in the galaxy. Star-Lord, while a renowned outlaw and hero in his own right, doesn't quite match the level of notoriety that Vader commands. Despite the thrilling and intense battle, it's Vader's dark legacy and fearsome reputation that secure his victory as the most notorious outlaw in this unique and challenging showdown.

Winner: Darth Vader

 

FIGHT 2

Fighter 1: Chuck Norris

Fighter 1 Attribute: Armed with the One Ring

Fighter 2: Barney

Fighter 2 Attribute: Is wearing a red shirt

Scenario: Literally raining cats and dogs

Location: The White House

Winner Determined By: Archery

AI Prediction: In the iconic setting of the White House, amidst a surreal downpour of cats and dogs, Chuck Norris and Barney prepare for an archery contest. Chuck Norris, armed with the One Ring, exudes an aura of invincibility and stealth. The ring grants him the power of invisibility, which he uses strategically to navigate the chaotic environment. Barney, the friendly purple dinosaur, stands out in his bright red shirt, a stark contrast to the seriousness of the competition. Despite the whimsical rain, both fighters are focused on the task at hand.

As the archery contest begins, Chuck Norris uses the One Ring to disappear from sight, making it nearly impossible for Barney to track his movements. He moves silently and swiftly, positioning himself for the perfect shot. The rain of cats and dogs adds an unpredictable element, with animals occasionally obstructing their view and path. Barney, ever the optimist, tries to maintain his cheerful demeanor, but the challenge of hitting targets while being pelted by pets proves difficult. He struggles to keep his aim steady, his bright red shirt making him an easy target.

In the end, Chuck Norris's mastery of the One Ring and his unparalleled archery skills give him the upper hand. He takes precise shots, hitting each target with ease despite the chaotic conditions. Barney, though valiant in his efforts, cannot match Chuck's accuracy and stealth. The combination of the One Ring's power and Chuck Norris's legendary prowess ensures his victory in this unusual and entertaining archery contest. The White House, now a scene of both triumph and whimsy, witnesses yet another testament to Chuck Norris's unbeatable skills.

Winner: Chuck Norris

 

SOUTHEAST BRACKET

FIGHT 1

Fighter 1: The Incredible Hulk

Fighter 1 Attribute: Is riding a Pegasus

Fighter 2: Heisenberg (Walter White)

Fighter 2 Attribute: Is super effective

Scenario: Five minutes until area is napalmed

Location: Space station

Winner Determined By: Basketball (Team sport: all fighters multiply by 5)

AI Prediction: In the high-stakes environment of a space station, with only five minutes until the area is napalmed, The Incredible Hulk and Heisenberg prepare for an intense basketball game. Both fighters multiply by five, creating teams of five Hulks riding Pegasi and five super-effective Heisenbergs. The zero-gravity conditions of the space station add a unique twist to the game, making every move and shot more challenging and unpredictable.

The Hulk team, with their immense strength and the added mobility of their Pegasi, dominate the court with powerful dunks and swift aerial maneuvers. The Pegasi allow them to cover the court quickly, making it difficult for the Heisenberg team to keep up. However, Heisenberg's strategic mind and super-effective nature come into play. Heisenberg's team uses their intelligence and cunning to outmaneuver the Hulks, setting up precise plays and taking advantage of the zero-gravity to make unexpected shots.

As the clock ticks down, the game becomes a thrilling back-and-forth battle. The Hulks' raw power is matched by Heisenberg's tactical brilliance. In the final moments, it comes down to a last-second shot. One of the Heisenbergs, using a perfectly timed pass and a clever feint, manages to score the winning basket just as the countdown reaches zero. Despite the Hulks' incredible strength and the advantage of their Pegasi, it's Heisenberg's super-effective strategy and teamwork that secure the victory in this high-pressure, out-of-this-world basketball showdown.

Winner: Heisenberg

 

FIGHT 2

Fighter 1: Genghis Khan

Fighter 1 Attribute: Shoots magic missiles

Fighter 2: He-Man

Fighter 2 Attribute: Has majestic flaming antlers growing out of head

Scenario: Fighters can fly

Location: Prison

Winner Determined By: Survive the longest in the jungle

AI Prediction: In the confined and eerie setting of a prison, Genghis Khan and He-Man prepare for a battle where they can both fly. Genghis Khan, known for his strategic brilliance and ruthless efficiency, now has the added ability to shoot magic missiles. He-Man, the powerful warrior of Eternia, sports majestic flaming antlers that not only add to his imposing presence but also serve as a formidable weapon. The ability to fly transforms the prison into a three-dimensional battlefield, with both fighters taking to the air to gain the upper hand.

As they clash, Genghis Khan uses his magic missiles to keep He-Man at bay, launching precise and powerful attacks from a distance. He-Man, with his flaming antlers, charges through the air, using his antlers to deflect the missiles and close the gap between them. The prison's narrow corridors and high walls become a maze of aerial combat, with both fighters weaving through the space, trying to outmaneuver each other. The flames from He-Man's antlers light up the dark corners of the prison, creating an intense and dramatic atmosphere.

When the battle shifts to the jungle, the challenge becomes one of survival. Genghis Khan's tactical mind and experience in leading his armies through harsh terrains give him an edge in navigating the dense foliage and finding resources. He-Man, with his raw strength and connection to nature, adapts quickly to the jungle environment, using his antlers to fend off predators and gather food. Over time, it becomes clear that Genghis Khan's strategic planning and ability to shoot magic missiles give him a slight advantage in the long-term survival game. His ability to secure safe locations and defend them with his missiles ensures he survives the longest in the jungle, ultimately winning this unique and challenging contest.

Winner: Genghis Khan

*****

Straight. Up. Bangers. Man, those fights were good. We're actually starting to regret that stuff we said back in the first SUPERFIGHT post about this being the dumbest idea of all time because we're actually getting pretty invested in these matchups now. We got a couple of shocking upsets this round! Master Chief takes the L! Cannot believe it! Did not see that coming! He-Man finally met his demise! Just when those antlers were starting to grow on us. Figuratively.

All right, drop those predictions for the next round in the comments below! For more craziness, find us on Facebook and follow us on Twitter (here and here). We'd like to stay and chat, but that blog post about the next round isn't going to write itself.

Until next time.