Bing AI writes an early TMNT adventure

 

With roots firmly planted in the 1980s, we here at The Underground have a lifelong love of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. With that in mind, we asked Bing's AI chat feature to write us a short story about everyone's favorite heroes in a half-shell, during their training years. What it came up with was a potentially explosive prequel with a guest appearance from another one of our favorite characters. There's also some kind of odd stuff in there about losing and gaining appendages. Give it a read:

**The Test**

Leonardo, Raphael, Donatello, and Michelangelo were sitting in their underground lair, waiting for their master Splinter to return. They had been training hard for the past few months, learning the art of ninjutsu and honing their skills with their weapons. They knew that Splinter was preparing them for something big, something that would test their abilities and their teamwork.

They heard a knock on the door and quickly got up. They opened it and saw Splinter standing there, holding a large wooden box. He smiled and entered the lair, followed by a man in a trench coat and a fedora. The man was Casey Jones, a vigilante and a friend of the turtles.

"Hello, my sons," Splinter said. "I have brought you a special gift. A gift that will challenge you and help you grow as ninjas."

He opened the box and revealed four masks, each one with a different color and pattern. The turtles gasped in awe and excitement.

"These are the masks of the ancient ninja clans," Splinter explained. "Each one represents a different element and a different aspect of ninjutsu. The blue mask is the mask of water, symbolizing fluidity and adaptability. The red mask is the mask of fire, symbolizing passion and courage. The purple mask is the mask of earth, symbolizing stability and intelligence. And the orange mask is the mask of air, symbolizing freedom and creativity."

He handed each turtle a mask that matched their personality and weapon. Leonardo received the blue mask, Raphael received the red mask, Donatello received the purple mask, and Michelangelo received the orange mask.

"These masks are more than just accessories," Splinter continued. "They are also keys to a secret temple hidden in the sewers. A temple that contains a treasure beyond your imagination. A treasure that only the worthy can claim."

The turtles looked at each other with curiosity and anticipation.

"What kind of treasure?" Leonardo asked.

"You will find out soon enough," Splinter said. "But first, you must pass a test. A test that will prove your worthiness as ninjas and as brothers."

He pointed to Casey Jones, who nodded and opened his trench coat. He revealed four metal bands, each one with a different symbol engraved on it.

"These are the bands of honor," Casey said. "Each one has a symbol that corresponds to one of the masks. The water symbol for Leonardo, the fire symbol for Raphael, the earth symbol for Donatello, and the air symbol for Michelangelo."

He handed each turtle a band that matched their mask.

"These bands are also more than just accessories," Casey said. "They are also trackers that will guide you to the temple. But there's a catch. Each band has a timer that will start counting down as soon as you put it on your wrist. You have exactly one hour to reach the temple before the bands explode."

The turtles gasped in shock and fear.

"Explode?" Michelangelo exclaimed.

"Yes, explode," Casey confirmed. "With enough force to blow your arm off."

The turtles gulped and looked at their bands nervously.

"Why would you do that?" Donatello asked.

"To make things interesting," Casey said with a grin. "And to teach you a lesson. A lesson about teamwork and trust."

He looked at Splinter, who nodded in agreement.

"You see, my sons," Splinter said. "The temple is not easy to find or to enter. It is guarded by traps, puzzles, and enemies that will try to stop you or slow you down. You will need to work together as a team to overcome these obstacles and reach your goal. But you will also need to trust each other as brothers to share your masks and bands with each other."

He pointed to the masks and bands.

"These items are not only keys to the temple, but also keys to each other's survival," he said. "Each mask and band can only be used by one turtle at a time. But they can also be swapped between turtles at any time. This means that you will have to decide who wears what mask and band at any given moment, depending on the situation and the challenge ahead of you."

He looked at them with seriousness and sincerity.

"This is not a game, my sons," he said. "This is a test of your skills, your wisdom, your courage, and your bond as brothers. If you fail this test, you will lose more than just your arms. You will lose your chance to claim the treasure, your chance to prove yourselves as ninjas, and your chance to honor your master."

He paused for a moment and then smiled warmly.

"But if you pass this test, you will gain more than just your arms. You will gain access to the temple, access to the treasure, access to a new level of ninjutsu, and access to my pride and love."

He bowed to them and then gestured to the door.

"Are you ready, my sons?" he asked.

The turtles looked at each other and nodded. They put on their masks and bands and felt them activate. They saw the symbols on their bands light up and start counting down from 60 minutes.

They followed Splinter and Casey to the door and prepared to leave.

"Good luck, my sons," Splinter said. "May the spirit of the ninja guide you."

"Thanks, Master Splinter," Leonardo said. "We won't let you down."

"Thanks, Casey," Raphael said. "We'll show you what we're made of."

"Thanks, guys," Donatello said. "We appreciate your help."

"Thanks, dudes," Michelangelo said. "This is gonna be awesome!"

They exited the lair and ran into the sewers, following the directions on their bands.

They were ready for the test. They were ready for the adventure. They were ready for the treasure.

They were the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. And they were about to have the time of their lives.

There you have it! Another instant classic from our new favorite author. What did you think of that one? Would you like to see more AI-fueled nostalgia on our blog? Let us know what you'd like us to ask for next by leaving a comment on this post, following us on Twitter (here and here) or finding us on Facebook.

Oh, and if you've got a hankering for more TMNT in your life, take a walk down memory lane with this blog from a while back, where we investigated the whereabouts of the cast of the classic 1990 film.

Until next time.

Ready Player One: analysis and perspective

I attended a screening of the new movie Ready Player One on Wednesday, thanks to FanX Salt Lake Comic Convention (weird to have to type that, BTW). The movie is an adaptation of Ernest Cline's ultra-nerdy book of the same title, referred to by some as "the holy grail of pop culture." Having read the book and, now, seen the movie, I have a few thoughts and figured it would be a good excuse to dust off the ol' keyboard and whip together a blog.

Ready Player One is set in a dystopian, technology-obsessed United States, in the year 2045, where there is little left for the youth of America to do but go to online school and play with their virtual reality simulators. The main character, Wade Watts, is a teenage kid without much good going on in his life. He, as all of his peers, spends nearly all of his time enveloped in a virtual world called the "OASIS." The program was developed by a video game pioneer named James Halliday. To make a long story short (too late), Halliday is dead. When he died, Halliday released a recording with his will that announced to all OASIS users that he had left an "Easter egg" inside the programming. The first player to solve his riddles and find the egg would inherit his fortune and company, not to mention gaining control over the entire OASIS.

Thus, Wade and countless numbers of VR gamers would embark on a quest to find the egg. This venture begins to consume every waking moment of Wade's life. Wade gains notoriety in the OASIS by becoming the first person to solve one of Halliday's riddles. Despite becoming a hero to many, Wade quickly becomes Public Enemy No. 1 in the eyes of a nefarious corporation called IOI, whose singular aim is to obtain control over the OASIS by any means necessary.   While Wade gets closer to the deciphering Halliday's technological teasers, the stakes are raised and the danger hits closer to home, as Wade's online success may lead to catastrophic real-world consequences.

Cline's novel was originally released in 2011. I read it in 2014 or '15, around the time that the book got its first wave of  maintstream popularity. I was working for Comic Con at the time, so, naturally, some of the people that recommended it to me were hardcore nerds (and I say that in the nicest way possible). I liked the book. I wouldn't say it was my favorite book or the best thing I've ever read, but I appreciated all the pop culture references and thought that aspect was fun. In the story, Halliday was obsessed with '80s pop culture, so many parts of the OASIS were based on movies, TV shows and video games that I grew up enjoying. I like the concept of this virtual world where you can go anywhere and do anything. (I wish there was something like that in real life. I'd play it, for sure.) The concept is just so cool, introducing a world that literally knows no bounds but those of our imagination.

I was a bit hesitant to get excited about this movie. Because I am still so largely involved with Comic Con culture, this movie brought with it a ton of hype, so I wanted to keep my expectations tempered. I'm glad I did. I went in excited, but cautious, and ended up pleasantly surprised with how Steven Spielberg brought the story to life. The movie captured a lot of the excitement I experienced when reading the book and reminded me why so many people have become fans of the story in the first place.

It's a totally awesome concept, overall, but one thing that I had a hard time with while reading the book was the sheer enormity of the universe. There were so many pop culture references - and so many that were based on such old-school arcade games or movies - that I felt like some of it went over my head because I just wasn't familiar with a good chunk of what was being described to me (the video game "Joust" is a focal point in the book; I'd never previously heard of such a thing). It was still a fun read, but some parts were just a little too nerdy for me.

The movie is a bit the same way during some stretches, featuring a 15-minute scene that is based on a movie that I have never seen. However, I feel like the movie did focus more on movies and modern video games, which was a nice change, and made things more enjoyable for me. There are a lot of aspects of the book that just wouldn't translate well to the big screen (like one of the tests in the book, where Wade has to re-enact a scene from a Matthew Broderick movie, word-for-word). I felt like the film did a good job of telling a story that was similar to the book, but different enough to keep audiences engaged.

Speaking of changes, the movie actually makes some major departures from the book. The car race showcased in the trailer and commercials and the Back to the Future DeLorean aren't in the book, the second major challenge in the movie is new, and several character arcs are altered significantly. So, if you're hoping or expecting the movie to be a direct translation of the book, think again. I'm ok with it, though. In fact, I think this is one instance where the movie is better than the book it's based on.

An important thing to keep in mind is that this is a story that is very dependent on a particular demographic. The story was literally born in the 1980s and, as such, was written for readers of that era. If you were born in the year 2005, you have no business reading the book. Don't pick it up. Just don't. You won't get it. Similarly, the movie is targeting the same audience. There are wall-to-wall '80s references, from Atari to the Battletoads to (my personal favorite) the Goldie Wilson mayoral poster from Back to the Future that can be seen in the background of one scene. That's straight-up nostalgia and it's a fun trip down memory lane for people who grew up in the '80s and early '90s. With that in mind, I don't think this is a movie for children. They might be able to go and have a good time, but they won't get it. I am also not sure how much my parents would enjoy it. They love movies (and raised me right by introducing me to movies like Indiana Jones), but because the story is so centralized around video games (which my parents aren't interested in), I think that the virtual reality aspect of the story would not be appealing to them.

It may be of note that there is also quite a bit of typical teenage profanity (including one use of the F-word, used rather successfully for laughs) and a smattering of mild sexual innuendo, so keep that in mind when considering taking your kids or parents along to the theater.

If you are a product of the '80s, this is a movie you owe yourself to see. This is arguably the greatest mash-up of pop culture ever to hit the big screen and it really is a blast. I plan on seeing it again at least once (thanks, MoviePass!) and it's definitely a movie I'll be adding to my vast Blu-ray library when it comes out. I'd give it 4 stars out of 5 and a hearty recommendation for those old enough to appreciate it.

Have you seen and/or read Ready Player One? If so, what did you think? Did you like the movie or book better? What was your favorite Easter egg? Join the conversation and let us know in the comments below.