1584 NBA Basketball Report

1584 NBA Basketball Report

With the NBA season just over 30 games in, Justin Sweeney and I review the Utah Jazz, NBA, and give you a forecast of things to come in the rest of the NBA season. If you want to become a smarter NBA fan, you'll want to listen to this podcast. https://soundcloud.com/justinsweeneyla/1584-report-episode-1-12-24-13

Merry Christmas to All and to All a Good Nap!

HO-HO-HO!  MERRY CHRISTMAS!

'Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house
Some creatures were stirring, but not the mouse.
All the children were nestled in their beds
With visions of presents running through their heads.

Mommy and Daddy in their frenzy did wrap
Hoping no child would awake from the flap.
Rolls of wrapping paper, scissors and tape
Were passed between them at a great rate.

Mommy wrapped while Daddy tagged
The puppy dog's tail she did wag
Getting in the middle with nose to ground
Looking for dropped cookie crumbs she found.

When to their wondering eyes did appear
Many presents all wrapped, the bill they did fear.
Soon placed under the tree, the presents were placed
A short winter's nap the parents they faced.

All too soon, the sun arose
And the children added more to this prose
For they awoke an hour too soon
Mommy and Daddy hoped they could sleep till noon.

It was time to see what Santa added
For the all the children were ecstatic!
All gathered in one child's room
For the first Christmas present, from whom?

The birth of Our Savior was given
From a loving Father in Heaven
The present he gave?
His Son with the power to save!

The simple phrase "Come Unto Him"
And repent of all your sin
Remember this refrain
So that we may live with him again!


I am not a poet by any stretch of the imagination, but I hope that all here in the Underground have a wonderful Christmas!

Why Survivor is still worth watching

Here we are one night removed from the 27th season of "Survivor." Yes, it's true - "Survivor" is still on TV. And yes, it's true - I am still watching faithfully. Now, why would I do a thing like that? Didn't "Survivor" stop being cool like eight years ago? The answer to that is, quite simply, no. Thirteen years later, "Survivor" continues to prove why it's still one of the top shows on television.

**Some spoilers to follow. And yes, I'll be mentioning the name of the Sole Survivor.**

In its most recent incarnation, "Blood vs Water," "Survivor" pitted ten returning castaways from previous seasons against a tribe of their loved ones. On more than one occasion, I, a fan of the show since the very beginning, have thought to myself, "That sounds like a stupid idea." I initially thought that the "Blood vs Water" concept seemed pretty dumb. I didn't want to watch parents and their children play together. I couldn't care less about sibling rivalries or family reunions. But as the season progressed, I think that having relatives play with and against each other didn't just work - it excelled.

Right off the bat, Rupert Boneham, one of the most popular players to ever grace the sandy beaches of  "Survivor," practically ousted himself from the game in an attempt to prolong his wife's life in the game. Then, one of the elements that really got me hooked early on in the season was, to my surprise, the often hit-and-miss Redemption Island. The rivalry between Candice/John and Brad Culpepper was intense, frequently censoring language and blurring out middle fingers as the three interacted at Redemption Arena. Later on in the season, there was the storyline with Laura Morett and her daughter, Ciera. We may never see another moment like the one where Ciera was faced with the decision of whether or not to vote out her mom. After her ouster, Laura kept winning duel after duel after duel at Redemption Island to eventually be reunited with Ciera. The looming threat of a power couple (Laura/Ciera, Aras/Vytas, and Tina/Katie) being reunited that late in the game made each Tribal Council a potential game-changer.

"Survivor" gets my heart pumping. It is unscripted drama at its finest. Obviously, Mark Burnett and company can edit the show however they want, but the way the show is set up, with its challenges, hidden immunity idols, naturally-developing alliances and rivalries, and occasional Tribal Council blindsides have made up countless conversations at my dinner table for over a decade. Its unpredictability can be terribly frustrating at times, but, when your favorite contestants win that crucial challenge or pull off a last-minute stunner at Tribal, there are few greater feelings for the prime time TV watcher.

One of the very few knocks I have on the show is that there have been a handful of undeserving winners. Tina, Vecepia, Natalie, Sandra (TWICE), and Sophie come to mind immediately. That's pretty frustrating. Sadly, in the season's final episode, the jury that votes for the winner often suffers from something my mom and I have dubbed "Bitter Jury Syndrome." Symptoms may include belittling a finalist for personal, non-Survivor-related flaws; unnecessary rudeness and/or profanity; extreme jealousy; and occasional, intentional humiliation (think Dawn/Brenda in Season 26). Bitter jury members often vote for a less-ruthless, less-deserving player simply in order to prevent a certain contestant from winning. This is typically because one finalist led the charge to vote out said bitter jurist. ("You voted me out, so I'm not voting for you.") Just ridiculous. That's something I hate about "Survivor."

The real payoff comes when a deserving player wins. Thankfully, such was the case in "Blood vs Water." The best player won. Tyson dominated from start to finish, but especially after his girlfriend, Rachel, was (arguably) pre-maturely voted out of the game. Rachel wasn't that good and there was no chance that she'd win the game, but seeing her leave early on flipped a switch in Tyson. He really never looked back after that, despite tearing a rotator cuff during one of the more physical challenges. He was the only one who found hidden immunity idols and somehow got other players to think that the idols were still out there, anyway. He sat there and watched as they searched in vain, which was both clever and kind of hilarious. He was strategically a step above everybody, except for maybe Gervase, who was right there with him most of the time. Tyson called the shots, Tyson got the blood on his hands, and then Tyson stepped up and won two huge immunity challenges during the finale. Tyson was the best and, deservedly so, walked away with a million bucks to prove it.

Finally, I've got to give props to my man, Jeff Probst, who yet again proved that he is the best host in all of reality television. He's the king of the loaded question and always knows what to say in difficult situations. He put Colton in his place by calling him out as he quit, he always leads Tribal Council in a controversial direction (once leading up to the dreaded drawing of rocks), and he marvelously handled a tough situation with Tina and Katie in the reunion show. Jeff Probst is money in the bank every single time.

"Survivor" never ceases to entertain me, even 27 seasons down the road. If you have never seen the show or if you've watched it in the past and given up on it, I recommend that you give it another shot. Mr. Probst and a crew of all-new castaways will be back in 2014 with a new twist, pitting brawn against brains against beauty. Allegedly, this will entail a three-tribe premiere: a muscular tribe, an intelligent tribe, and an attractive tribe. There will be no returning players and no Redemption Island. Just good, old-fashioned "Survivor" - and you know I'll be watching.

Coming, 2014.

Good costume / Bad costume

With Halloween less than 24 hours away, there is a good chance you've procrastinated your planning and are in desperate need of a last-minute costume. Are you worried about what your colleagues and associates will think of you tomorrow? Is your little outfit a potential flop? For your benefit, some friends and I have come up with a quick cheat sheet of good ideas and bad ideas for this year's Halloween costume. Hopefully this helps.

Good costume: Robin Hood. Bad costume: Robin Thicke.
Good costume: Katniss Everdeen. Bad costume: Katniss Evergreen.
Good costume: Batman. Bad costume: A bat boy.
Good costume: Dick Tracy. Bad costume: Dick Clark.
Good costume: The Rock. Bad costume: A rock.
Good costume: Gumby. Bad costume: Gumbo.
Good costume: Richard Nixon. Bad costume: Richard Simmons.
Good costume: The Terminator. Bad costume: The Taxidermist.
Good costume: Craig T. Nelson. Bad costume: Craig Ferguson.
Good costume: Harry Potter. Bad costume: Jerry Potter.
Good costume: Al Borlen. Bad costume: Al Gore.
Good costume: Al Capone. Bad costume: Al Roker.
Good costume: Elvis Presley. Bad costume: Elvis Grbac.
Good costume: John Wayne. Bad costume: John Wayne Gacy.
Good costume: Guy with a crossbow. Bad costume: Guy with a crossword puzzle.
Good costume: Bigfoot. Bad costume: Bighand.
Good costume: Jabba the Hut. Bad costume: Jabba the Slut.
Good costume: Willy Wonka. Bad costume: Free Willy.
Good costume: Yoda. Bad costume: Yoga.
Good costume: Devil. Bad costume: Deviled egg.
Good costume: Horse front end. Bad costume: Horse back end.
Good costume: Karl Malone. Bad costume: Karl Marx.

And finally, for you last-last-last-minute costume planners, here's an easy one for you. Try this little equation on for size:

Bike helmet + Ski goggles = Big Papi



You're welcome.

Happy Halloween from everybody at The Underground!

Back from the Blog's Black Hole

Good afternoon one and all!  I have returned from an unexpected absence from this blog.  I wish that I could say that I have been too busy to blog or that I have been asked to head a new commission to solve all the world's problems thus preventing me from blogging, but alas, I have simply not taken the time to compose a few thoughts to share in this glorious forum.

So, let me catch up with a few thoughts on a few things.

Government Shutdown, etc. - bunch of whiny little children, trying to boss others around and control the entire sandbox.  To them I say, if you can't get along and you can't figure out how to work together, then go home and let someone else take your spot who will.  Republican, Democrat, Tea-Partier, Independent, doesn't matter.  If you won't take the time to run this country ACCORDING TO THE WILL OF ITS PEOPLE, then get out and let someone in who will.

BYU-Utah Rivalry:  I wish I could say that this was a great game, but it wasn't.  Congratulations to the Utes on winning the game, but it was ugly every which way you look at it.  Neither team looked better than the other.  Neither team played well.  There wasn't really a good flow to it.  BYU ran around the field and then did something stupid.  Utah tried to run around the field and then made two plays.  The refs ran around the field dodging trash.

Let me expound on that last statement.  I have been to several of these games. I have seen poor officiating and have seen some great performances come out of these games.  Where this rivalry has turned the ugliest is on the fans.  There is a select faction of red and blue fans that have ruined this great tradition for the rest of us.  These are the ones that have decided that it is ok to mock, ridicule and denigrate their fellow man.  During this past game, I saw BYU fans ridiculing Utah fans and the Ute-heritage.  NOT ACCEPTABLE!  I saw Utah fans dressed up as characters from scripture and mocking sacred belief.  NOT ACCEPTABLE!  I saw fans from both sides get into arguments with the other.  NOT ACCEPTABLE!  I saw BYU fans throw trash at the officials because they felt they had cost BYU the game.  News to you idiots.  BYU put themselves in that position.  They are the ones that had to go into desperation mode at the end.  Whether a call should have been made or not, doesn't matter.  You put yourself in that position, most times, you are not going to win the game.

Ordain Women:  This one to me is just sad.  Here is a woman who, for all intents and purposes, believes that she has received an answer for the entire Church.

Before I go further, let me make this abundantly clear.  I believe that a man and woman are equal.  Anyone who believes that a man is greater than a woman or woman greater than a man, stands in violation of God's law.  There are things that a man's body is more apt to do (i.e. physical labor) as is a woman's (i.e. child birth.) I believe that, along with  the physical make up, that there is a spiritual/emotional make up.  A man tends to be more a problem-solver (mostly because we tend to cause a lot of problems.)  We see the issue, devise a plan of attack and carry out that plan.  (Think Marine's tendency of "See the hill, take the hill.)  We have difficulty in expressing emotion or thoughts.  We are thinkers, but we just keep it to ourselves.  Women have that emotional ability that is simply amazing.  There is a natural ability for nurturing and teaching.  When any child stubs their toe or scrapes their knee, they immediately want their "Mommy." Women are problem solvers too. (They generally have to clean up the man's mistakes.)  They are natural born leaders, teachers, doctors, etc.  Their very nature is care, understanding, faithfulness, commitment, determination, drive, and other super-human powers (see. wife/mother in dictionary)  I fully believe, and this is a doctrinal point of the Church, that neither the man nor the woman can achieve their fullest potential without the other.

What is sad about this is that this woman does not understand her divine nature, her divine gifts that have been given to her.  Gifts that no man has.  Gifts that men wish they could understand.  This is why, as has been said in this forum before, men have been ordained to the Priesthood; to help us gain that understanding.  My wife has every right and claim on the Priesthood in our home as I do.  She has every right and ability to call upon Heavenly Father to bless our home, to bless a sick child, to receive revelation for our family.  She is as much a leader in our home as I am, if not more.  The only difference is that ordination part.  Could she do the same things without me in the home, yes.  Would it be as complete, no.  Can I do the same things in the home without her, yes.  Would it be as complete, no.  It takes the two of us to accomplish the nurturing, the teaching of our children.  It takes both of us to complete the other.  The only gift I bring to that of any eternal worth, is my worthiness / righteousness in honoring the Priesthood. 

Well, I've pontificated long enough.  Thank you for bearing with me as I shared these thoughts.  Till next time.

Walking a mile in someone else's shoes

People often use a certain expression about walking a mile in someone else's shoes. If I understand correctly, the phrase is meant to imply that you shouldn't judge a person unless you personally understand what they're going through in life. I was thinking about it and I thought that I'd like to walk a mile in somebody's shoes - literally - just to say that I had done it. (Plus, once I'd done it, I'd have free reign to judge that person forever and ever, which would be awesome.) However, the more I thought about it, the less plausible that idea seemed and the more difficult the plan became. Let me elaborate:

Problem 1: Finding somebody who would allow you to borrow their shoes in the first place.

I like my shoes. If somebody came up to me and was like, "Hey, can I walk a mile in your shoes?", I'd be like, "......Heck no, you freak. Get away from me."

Problem 2: Finding somebody that is not only willing to sacrifice their shoes but that also has the same size feet as you.

...because there's no way in Hades that I'm strolling around in a pair of Size Sixes.

Problem 3: Destination.

Once you find a person with the same size feet that also doesn't need their shoes for an hour or so, where the heck do you even go?? I guess I'd, like... walk to the store or something? Maybe take a couple laps around the block? Come to think of it, I don't ever really walk anywhere! ... Scratch that. I DO walk a lot. From the couch to the refrigerator and back. But that's really just about it. Once I got those elusive shoes, where would I go?? Not a clue.

Confusion: What does walking a mile in their shoes actually even do? Do their shoes somehow transmit some type of magical power that helps you understand their issues? If you wore a business man's shoes, would you suddenly feel richer? If you borrowed the shoes of somebody that was starving to death, would you immediately feel hungry? If you walked a mile in the shoes of someone who just got dumped by their long-time significant other, would that walk take you right off a cliff or something? Like... how does literally walking a mile in their shoes really teach you ANYTHING about their life, apart from their preference in sneakers?

Conclusion: Walking a mile in someone else's shoes is not a good idea. It's not plausible, it's not practical, and, you know, it's just plain stupid.

Also, "Christmas Shoes" is the worst Christmas song ever written. Period. Just thought I'd throw that in there.

Follow me on Twitter. @atownmania

The End of Summer Time

      Hello Again! It is that time again, time for the end of my summer, though we are in October and it is cold and rainy. I just wanted to hold onto my summer a little longer, hence the next blog in my installment of magical music! I am a huge supporter of my friends and my friends just so happen to be in bands, not all of them, but many of them so some of my blogs will include their bands. So to start this blog off I am going to go back to the end of August it was my friend Tiffani Barney’s birthday and she was having a birthday bash of sorts. The new band she and her husband Mike Barney, have joined called Johanna Johanna was amazing. 

        They regaled us that evening with their Eisley like music and spunky attitudes. They quickly became one of my new favorites, I know it seems like I say that a lot but I like to focus on the positive and bands I like, not so much on ones I don’t.  The night was truly incredible! My other friend Rob Alvord also played with his band Fat Candice, which I think is a pretty stellar name. Johanna Johanna was one of a kind and their music was very inspiring, I can’t wait for them to release their album. Soon J until then they have a place where your ears may enjoy the magnificentness that is them!  Your ears can be mesmerized by their musical glory! Here> http://johannajohanna.bandcamp.com/#zplays. I personally recommend the song “when we were young” to get you started. Also know I write a lot about different friends bands and there are two reasons why, I LOVE LOCAL Music, seriously and because I really enjoy what many of my friends have to share with the world.  Many of my blogs will be mainstream and local mixed together or sometimes just straight local and not always my friends because I want to make it equal. I hope you can appreciate all of it and if you ever have any suggestions on what to listen to hit me up, I always love finding new bands to listen to.

Johanna Johanna

          Last but not least to end my epic summer of music I had the opportunity to go to Park City, well technically Deer Valley, and see some of the most inspirational singers to me. Sara Barellies and One Republic (NOT to be confused with One Direction who I personally do not care for.) It was an unforgettable night, I love them both so much I was just in awe of their musical beauty and in the mountains, it was so breathtaking! One of my favorite songs by Sara is actually quite ironic because it sounds very similar to Katy Perry’s Roar. There was an article released  not to long ago about both artists reaction to it and they say that it is cool that they sound similar. 

       

         Anyway the song is called Brave and it is meaningful because sometimes I just need to be Brave and share how I feel or what I think and let it go from there. She ended performing this song and I couldn’t help but sing along, what an inspiration! As far as One Republic, I have seen them 4 or so times and they have NEVER disappointed, Ryan Tedder is just fantastic live! His energy, his sound, the way he interacts with the audience I could not ask for a better artist, he is right up there with Ben Kweller for me. I took a friend from Cali  with me and it was her first Utah concert, I was so excited to share it with her and she seemed to have just as much fun as I did! It was an unforgettable summer and I can’t wait to see what fall brings with Imagine Dragons, The Fictionist, Macklemore, and my local buddies Kiss Me Kill Me, and Fat Candice. Until next time, tomorrow J which actually that blog will have very little to no music it will be all about Comic Con. Till then “Live life to the fullest, enjoy every moment and every experience!”

One Republic and Sara Bareilles

~Crystal Nichols

Blog Hog

So I haven’t wanted to be a blog hog, so I haven’t blogged for a while to give others time to blog. But then too many cool things happened and now I have to jam them all into a few blogs so, be prepared to be ambushed with bloggy goodness and wonderful music!!  Oh and pictures, picture time J First I want to start with I went and saw the New Electric Sound live! It was spectacular! Now just to let you know if I like a band and they don’t sound good live I have a hard time liking them anymore, not to say that I won’t like them it is just tough for me. But this was not the case at all with them. If you ever get the chance to check them out, I HIGHLY recommend going!! They sound even better live then on their albums. I know I have talked about them before but seeing them live was the best! So I just had to blog about them again.

The New Electric Sound

Next on my music tour was Tegan and Sara and FUN. Now don’t get me wrong I was excited to see Nathan strutting his stuff and being just an incredible singer but I was really there to enjoy the musical enlightening of Tegan and Sara. I have loved them since I saw them open for the Killers literally like 10 years ago! I especially love their songs The Con and Back in Your Head. They are an incredible women duo and super fun to watch! I went with my mom and she was actually excited to see FUN. She is part of the reason I bought the tickets in the first place. She loves Nathan and I think he is quit talented as well, I actually I liked him when he was in The Format. I also had forgotten I had seen them when they opened for Jack’s Mannequin years ago, when they were just starting out. It was neat to see how far they had come since the first time I had seen them. Over all the night was a success for both of us we had so much fun singing and dancing. A concert outside under the stars with incredibly talented performers with my mom, I couldn’t have asked for a better night!  Tegan And Sara did not let me down; they were definitely the highlight of the night for me. If you don’t know Tegan and Sara, here is a link to The Con. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=soJtF3F5t2k.

FUN.

Lastly near the end of August (yes I know I am super behind) I had the opportunity to fly to San Francisco and see my 49ers play against the Vikings. I know it is not music but every once in awhile I go and do something else :P The game was fantastic, I have never been to an NFL game and it was a blast. I love football, well most sports in general, so it was super exciting to be there in person. Especially since it is the last year they will be at Candlestick Park, I felt honored to be there. I also love going to San Francisco because of the smells, sounds and just overall feel. It was a nice weekend trip and the best way to end my summer, well maybe not totally end. Stay tuned and I will share the end of my summer of music and the beginning of fall. It won’t be long before I share my next round of adventures, more shows and more fun!! J  Until then continue to “Live life to the fullest, enjoy every moment and every experience!”

Doug and I  ready to watch!

Niners Coming out onto the field

Let the games begin!

~Crystal N.

Guest blog: One LDS woman's thoughts about the priesthood

Ordain men. Ordain women. Seems like a “logical” explanation to a few very vocal women belonging to the controversial "Ordain Women" movement. Here is the issue: religious issues are often not logical. Our finite minds often cannot comprehend the infinite mind of Heavenly Father.

As a woman belonging to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, I often contemplate the blessings of the priesthood. You might argue that if I am not ordained to the priesthood I do not have ALL of the blessings of the priesthood. That I, as a woman, am not equal to the men in my congregation - but these are blessings that I have complete access to!

Consider this example: I, a faithful female member of the Church, am stranded on an island with my young daughter. My daughter has been injured and is in need of a priesthood blessing. Neither of us has been ordained to the priesthood. Oh no! What do I do now?! 

Well let us think about this LOGICALLY. The priesthood is God’s power on this earth. Okay, how do I call upon the powers of God to help my daughter? I would hold my daughter and pray, with faith, calling upon the powers of God that he would heal my daughter. I would ask him to tell me what I needed to do to help save her. I believe that God would hear my pleas. I believe that, if it were His will, He would heal my child.

What about participating in the ordinances like baby blessings, sacrament, etc.? To me, this question can also be answered. The priesthood is given to men to make up for the characteristics women are given by nature. Baby blessings: As a mom, I often feel like I daily receive revelation for my daughter. Through daily prayer and faith, I receive revelation for what my young daughter needs. Through prayer and faith, I am able to ask God to give my daughter the blessings she needs. Sound familiar? Prayer and revelation is one way that women, as mothers, BLESS their children. Mothers do not NEED the priesthood to bless our children. The Sacrament: The sacrament gives the young men in the church to provide service to the members of the ward. Why don’t women get to do this? Because we do not need to. It is in a women’s nature to serve and love people. This doesn't come naturally to all men.

Not being ordained to the priesthood doesn’t mean I don’t have the power of God at my fingertips. Not being ordained to the priesthood doesn't mean I don’t get to ask God to bless my children every single day. Not being ordained to the priesthood doesn't mean I don’t get to serve members of my ward.

What more do these women want?!

As a woman, being a faithful member of the church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints means I do get the same blessings of ordained men because, though I NEED THE PRIESTHOOD, I don’t NEED to be an ORDAINED priesthood holder to obtain these blessings.

Women and the Priesthood

As a child, I dreamed of growing up to play for the Utah Jazz. But, you know, by the time I got to high school, that flame had been all-but-extinguished and I had to re-assess my life and set some much more realistic goals, like getting a college degree and working in a call center for the rest of eternity. So far, so good. I've been thinking lately, though, (which is something that we college graduates are prone to do) and I think I want to play in the WNBA. I'm not quite good enough to play with the big boys in the NBA, but I'm pretty sure I could hang with the women's league. Starting today, I'm going to be training five times a week. Running sprints, bench pressing, fundamental drills. I'll do it all. Because I want to play in the WNBA!

Wait, what?? The WNBA is for who? Women? Women only? Why?? If I'm good enough to play with them, why can't I play? Because I'm a man? Sexists! Judgmental pigs! I want to play women's basketball! This is really unfair to me as a man. They're not treating me equally with women and I'm disgusted. I'm an American man and this is 2013. I have rights! I demand equality in all things! Let me play women's basketball!

Now, of course, a man demanding to play in a women's basketball league would be ludicrous. They would never allow me to play in the WNBA - solely based on the fact that I'm not the right gender. However, a very vocal minority of women continue to demand that they have equality with men in all things. For instance, take Title IX in college sports, where men, in some cases, give up entire sports in order to make sure women have exactly the same number of programs. Consider Danica Patrick, Billy Jean King, and other women who have broken the gender barrier to compete with men. One could argue that women actually have more opportunities than men, as far as sports are concerned. You'd never see a man making headlines for breaking into women's tennis, or, in my case, the WNBA. Why? Well... because men just shouldn't be able to play with women. Because they're men. ...Right??

The fact of the matter, no matter how politically-correct you're attempting to be, is that men and women are different! Physically, we're different. Emotionally, we're different. We're different in many, many ways - and that's ok! Can you imagine what the world would be like if everyone were exactly the same in every single way? One great example of the importance of being unique is the Dr. Seuss classic, "The Sneetches," which you can read here. For those unfamiliar with the story or just too lazy to click on the link and read it for themselves, there are two types of Sneetches: those that have stars on their bellies and those that do not. For a great long while, the Sneetches without stars feel bad about themselves and perhaps even discriminated against because they do not look like their star-bellied counterparts. They go to great lengths to obtain stars on their bellies so that they can enjoy the same privileges as their birth-marked brethren, but, in the end, they realize that it's ok to be different. Having a star on your belly does not make you any better or worse than anyone else. They were all inherently equal, no matter their looks.

There is a very small, very vocal movement among women in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints known as "Ordain Women" that has persisted for some time now in seeking gender equality for men and women in the Church. Specifically, they believe that women should be ordained to the priesthood, something normally only available to worthy male members. According to their website, their mission is as follows: "to create a space for Mormon women to articulate issues of gender inequality they may be hesitant to raise alone. As a group we intend to put ourselves in the public eye and call attention to the need for the ordination of Mormon women to the priesthood." I do not purport to knowing everything about this liberal movement, nor do I claim to know everything about the doctrine of the LDS Church, but I would like to stand up for my own conservative beliefs in regards to this controversial issue.

I attended the University of Utah in Salt Lake City from 2009 - 2011. I studied communications and broadcast journalism. I had a great time learning about how to be a radio DJ and a journalist. But, I found my experience there at the U to be a very liberal, anti-Mormon one, which is odd, considering that Salt Lake City is home of the headquarters of the Church. I think it may have been for that very reason that non-members and estranged members of the Church felt the need to lash out verbally from time to time. One particular experience I had found me in one of my more controversial classes: Comm and Gender. The purpose of the class was to investigate the differences between men and women in communication and media. One day, a female member of my class explained that she was a former member of the LDS Church, that she had previously been married in a Mormon temple (and later divorced), and that she had strong feelings that the LDS Church was sexist and harbored deep-rooted anti-female doctrines. I almost fell off my chair.

What a preposterous thing to say! As an endowed member of the Mormon Church, believe me when I say that any woman who has been through the temple ceremony and still believes that men and women are unequal in the sight of God (and the LDS Church) and has no role in the priesthood must not have been paying attention at all. In terms of women wanting the blessings of the priesthood, the proponents of Ordain Women fail to realize that all of the blessings associated with the priesthood and in accordance to God's commandments are available to men and women equally, regardless of gender, insomuch as they are faithful and obedient to the covenants they make. (see 4 Nephi 1:3)

Supporters of the Ordain Women movement believe that women deserve greater leadership roles in the Church. The prophet (or president) of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints has always been a man. The modern-day Twelve Apostles are all men. Every member of the extended leadership of the Church, known as the Quorums of the Seventy, are all men. Bishops, local leaders of congregations, are all men. Their counselors in the local wards are always men. Young men are given additional responsibilities in the Church starting at age 12, based on their worthiness. These are facts.

The feminist movement in question is campaigning for the leadership I have previously mentioned to allow women to participate, as well. What they fail to mention is that there are several organizations already in place inside the Church that are exclusively for women! The Relief Society, established in 1842, is the oldest and largest women's organization in the world. Mormon women, ages 18 and older, are given membership in the organization, regardless of worthiness. According to Mormon.org, the purpose of the Relief Society is "to build faith and personal righteousness, strengthen families and homes, and help those in need." Each local branch of this organization has a presidency, composed of females, and the Church has a general Relief Society presidency, again, headed by women. No man has ever been granted leadership, let alone membership, in this organization because, well, it's for women! I am not aware of any sort of protest led by men in opposition to the Church's strict female-only policy. Additionally, the Primary, a Church-based organization to teach children about Jesus and the gospel at an early age, is led locally and generally by women.

As men in the church, we believe that "the priesthood is the power and authority of God." LDS.org continues, "Through [the priesthood], [God] accomplishes His work and glory, which is 'to bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man' (Moses 1:39). Jesus Christ permits worthy male members of the Church to hold His priesthood. When they are ordained to the priesthood, they can be authorized to do the Lord’s work, such as preach the gospel, perform priesthood ordinances, and minister, as called, in the kingdom of God on earth." Being part of this priesthood is a lot of hard work. We cannot use the priesthood to bless ourselves. The purpose of the priesthood is only to bless others. Misuse of this power, often referred to as "unrighteous dominion" (Doctrine and Covenants 121:39) is a punishable offense in the Church and results in the revocation of that man's authority (D&C 121:36-37) and excommunication from the Church, when applicable.

I hold a leadership position in the local Elders Quorum, a men's organization that exists in every LDS congregation. As members of the Elders Quorum, one of our main responsibilities is to home teach (or visit on a monthly basis) every member, male or female, in the congregation. This is a lot of work. Women in the Relief Society also participate in a similar monthly activity called visiting teaching, which expects them, in companionships of two, to visit each female member of the congregation. Somewhat sarcastically, I would gladly swap my obligation to home teach every member of the ward, male and female, with any woman that is demanding to have the same responsibilities as men. Based on logic alone, men are required to do twice as much work as women, as far as monthly visits to members of the ward is concerned. That's not me being chauvinistic. That's a statistical fact. Maintaining my momentary sense of sarcasm, if these women would like to do twice as much work in order to receive identical benefits, heck, I'm all for that. More work for them, less work for me, and we all get the exact same blessings in the end. Fantastic. (*wink*)

Next weekend is General Conference weekend for members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Every six months, the Church holds a semi-annual gathering where the general leadership, including the prophet and the Twelve Apostles, address the Saints in a globally-televised event. Each General Conference consists of five meetings: a morning and an afternoon session on both Saturday and Sunday and another meeting on Saturday night for the general priesthood body. As should be absolutely evident at this point, the priesthood session on Saturday night is for men only. Why is it only for men? Because only men have the priesthood. Obviously. The ladies from Ordain Women are planning a gathering next Saturday night, in which they will stand outside the Salt Lake City Conference Center in hopes of being allowed to enter the all-men session. From Ordain Women's own website: "We will stand as a group of women, [sic] and male allies in the standby line in order to gain admittance to the Priesthood Session of the 183rd Semiannual General Conference of the Church. If we are admitted, we will celebrate this historical achievement by attending the Priesthood Session together.After [sic] we leave Priesthood session, we will reconvene at City Creek Park to speak to the public, including representatives of the media, about our experiences either attending Priesthood Session or being barred from attending. At this meeting, Ordain Women will make a public statement continuing our unequivocal call for complete equality and the ordination of Mormon women." (Emphasis added.)

[The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints will be broadcasting the General Priesthood session at 6:00 PM (Mountain Time in the U.S.) on October 5 on BYUTV and will stream the session via the Internet for the world to see. It will be free for anyone of any gender and any religion to watch. For more information about how to tune in (or if you're a woman who's mainly just interested in learning the deep dark secrets that will be shared about how to become a better deacon, teacher, or priest), please visit this link.]

An "unequivocal call"? Are these women challenging the prophet that they, themselves, allegedly support? And, if they believe that the Mormon prophet, Thomas S. Monson, is truly called by God to lead and guide His people on the earth today, wouldn't that mean that they are, in actuality, challenging God? Not a smart idea, historically speaking. In 2 Samuel 6:2-7, a man named Uzzah was smitten down dead because he tried to steady the Ark of the Covenant. Perhaps that's a bit of an extreme example, but, if you truly believe that God calls apostles and prophets in this day and age, you must also believe that the organization of the Church, whether set forth by His own voice or by the voice of His servants, is the same (see D&C 1:37-38).

“I respect and value the church and myself too much to be silent on this question," said one supporter of the Ordain Women movement. "The ordination of women would put us all on equal spiritual footing with our brethren, and nothing less will suffice.” (Emphasis added.) And nothing less will suffice, she says. You can't respect and value the Church one one hand and then say "nothing else will suffice" on the other. It just doesn't work like that!

I don't know about you, but this sounds an awful lot like a protest. I've seen people on Facebook saying that this doesn't count as a "protest," per se, because they're not picketing and carrying signs. Dictionary.com defines a "protest" as "an expression or declaration of objection, disapproval, or dissent, often in opposition to something a person is powerless to prevent or avoid." Objections? Yes. Disapproval? Yes. Dissent? Yes. This is a protest against the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, as presently constituted.

When members of the Church are interviewed as part of the process of obtaining a recommend that allows them to enter into the temple, they are asked a series of questions. One of those questions is as follows: "Do you affiliate with any group or individual whose teachings or practices are contrary to or oppose those accepted by The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, or do you sympathize with the precepts of any such group or individual?" If they are being truthful, any member of the Church that is part of the Ordain Women movement - or any individuals that sympathize with their beliefs - should answer "Yes" to this question. Answering in the affirmative would disqualify them from the opportunity to enter the temple. This is not me being a jerk. This is not me being judgmental. That's a cold, hard fact. Anyone, male or female, who affiliates with or sympathizes with a group whose teachings or practices are contrary to those of the Church do not qualify to have a temple recommend. Put quite simply, if you disagree with the prophet, modern revelation, the organization and/or leadership model of the Church, or any combination of those or a plethora of other things, then this probably isn't the Church for you.

To many, the previous paragraph may come off as being rude, judgmental, or overly-harsh, but it's not. You can choose to be offended if you wish, but that's the truth!... and sometimes the truth hurts. (See 1 Nephi 16:2.) For instance, if I got into Harvard for my academic excellence, but then flunked a couple of my classes, you bet your sweet bippy they'd kick me out of school - and how judgmental of them! I want the equal right to attend Harvard like everybody else; I just think it's ok to skip classes and forget about my homework every once in a while. It's not fair that they'd kick me out of school for not complying with those two little stipulations. I agree with everything else, but I just don't want to do my homework! Like any other organization, there are rules in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints - and if you don't comply with the rules, you can't pass go and you can't collect $200. Simple, isn't it?

Choosing to be offended - and sometimes even going out of our way to find something to be offended by - seems to be a popular thing to do these days. Six months ago, just before the last General Conference, there was another big feminist movement trying to get all Mormon women to wear pants to church on one particular Sunday. No offense, but that's one of the dumbest things I've ever heard. Search the scriptures and tell me - is it stated anywhere in the entire canon of LDS doctrine, whether ancient or post-Restoration, that women cannot wear pants to church? I'm really scratching my head here, but I'm pretty positive that it's not. Traditionally, women don't wear pants to church, but that's not strictly a Mormon thing, nor do I believe that the wearing of pants has ever really been discouraged in the LDS Church. (Plus, I don't know who began the tradition of women wearing dresses on the Sabbath, but I bet you she wasn't Mormon!) If you want to wear pants to church, go ahead and wear pants to church. Choosing to be offended by allegedly not being allowed to wear pants on Sunday is silly because nobody says you're not allowed to do so in the first place! (Now, if men started a movement to try to get all the elders to wear skirts to Sacrament Meeting, I can see why people would be a little disturbed, but who cares whether a woman wears a dress or pants? I certainly don't!)

Mormon feminists chalked one up on the scoreboard back in April when a woman was allowed to pray in one of the sessions of General Conference, but... was that ever really a big deal? Women pray in church every single Sunday in local congregations! There's no doctrine saying "Thou shalt not allow a woman to pray in General Conference," so I was unaware that some women had chosen to be offended by this. These are just silly things to be upset about, in my opinion. If you choose to be offended by these minute little things, go ahead and do it, I guess, but there are much more important things happening during General Conference that wondering who will be assigned to say the prayers.

Here's a little known fact about General Conference: There is a General Relief Society session that takes place one week before "Conference Weekend." They hold it in the Conference Center and talk about, I'm assuming, how to become a better wife, mother, sister, and daughter. They probably talk about how much Jesus loves us and they probably throw in a few cute little messages about keeping the commandments. Now, this may come as a shocker to you, but, believe it or not, I, a worthy male member of the Church, have never been invited to attend the General Relief Society broadcast downtown. There has never been a man that was allowed to pray during the Relief Society session and there won't ever be, but you don't hear any men whining about it, do you? You don't see me lining up downtown and demanding to be let in or see me starting a petition to get President Monson to change his mind about men's role in the Relief Society organization, do you? No! Of course not. I'm totally fine with not going to any Relief Society meetings because A) I have enough meetings as it is and B) it's for WOMEN!! I understand that and I'm totally fine with it.

In the beginning, when God created the earth, he created man and woman. He created Adam first and Eve second. I'm sure there is some symbolism embedded in the order of the Creation, but I don't wish to delve into it at this time. I'm sure some feminists might argue that God should have created man and woman at the exact same time, but the fact of the matter is that somebody had to come first. In this case, man was created probably just minutes before woman, but what if it was the other way around? What if Eve was created first? Would men be all up in arms about it? I'm not sure, but I really don't think it should make that much of a difference. In Genesis 1:26-27, God created man and woman, male and female created He them. Why didn't he create everyone in some weird kind of neutral gender? Why did he specifically created two completely different genders in the first place when he could just as easily have given everyone the priesthood and delegated completely equal responsibilities? I believe that he created two different genders not in order to make one superior to the other but so that we could both fulfill very different roles.

1 Corinthians chapter 12 compares Christ's Church to the human body. I believe that the supporters of Ordain Women could learn a great deal from this chapter. Observe:

 14 For the body is not one member, but many.
 15 If the foot shall say, Because I am not the hand, I am not of the body; is it therefore not of the body?
 16 And if the ear shall say, Because I am not the eye, I am not of the body; is it therefore not of the body?
 17 If the whole body were an eye, where were the hearing? If the whole were hearing, where were the smelling?
 18 But now hath God set the members every one of them in the body, as it hath pleased him.
 19 And if they were all one member, where were the body?
 20 But now are they many members, yet but one body.
 21 And the eye cannot say unto the hand, I have no need of thee: nor again the head to the feet, I have no need of you.
 22 Nay, much more those members of the body, which seem to be more feeble, are necessary:
 23 And those members of the body, which we think to be less honourable, upon these we bestow more abundant honour; and our uncomely parts have more abundant comeliness.
 24 For our comely parts have no need: but God hath tempered the body together, having given more abundant honour to that part which lacked:
 25 That there should be no schism in the body; but that the members should have the same care one for another.
 26 And whether one member suffer, all the members suffer with it; or one member be honoured, all the members rejoice with it.
 27 Now ye are the body of Christ, and members in particular.
 28 And God hath set some in the church, first apostles, secondarily prophets, thirdly teachers, after that miracles, then gifts of healings, helps, governments, diversities of tongues.
 29 Are all apostles? are all prophets? are all teachers? are all workers of miracles?
 30 Have all the gifts of healing? do all speak with tongues? do all interpret?
 31 But covet earnestly the best gifts: and yet shew I unto you a more excellent way.

Every one of God's children is equal to him in his eyes, for He is no respecter of persons (see Acts 10:34). Though we are all equal in His eyes and none of us receives any special privilege based solely on gender alone, God has created us all differently so that we can perform certain functions as human beings, as citizens, as family members, and as members of the Church. Are all apostles? Are all prophets? Do all hold the priesthood? No! No, we do not! What good would the body do us if every part were an eye? Where would be the hearing? What good would it do us to have four arms, but no legs? How would we get around? And what good would it do us if we all held the priesthood? Women are important in the eyes of God and they can perform tasks that only females could! Men are not given the ability to bear children and are not given many of the responsibilities in the home that women are given because, quite simply, women are better-suited for those roles than are the men! Conversely, men are given other responsibilities, such as being a provider (physically, financially, etc.) and being the head of household and priesthood bearer in the home so that the burdens of our life on earth are equally-yoked.

Men are not superior to women in the eyes of God, nor in their standing in the Church. I wish that this vocal minority that is having such a difficult time accepting their God-given roles as members of the Church would recognize this very important part of life. They are loved and valued by their Heavenly Father and are not being withheld from priesthood leadership because they are inferior, but because they have other responsibilities that are theirs and theirs alone. They play such an important part in the establishment of Zion and, if they were to abandon or diminish those vital roles, Zion would not prosper as it should! Though they may not hold priesthood-based offices in the Church, they are still recipients of priesthood blessings through the valiant service of their husbands, sons, brothers, and neighbors. I cannot overstate the importance of this truth: Men cannot use the priesthood solely for their own benefit. The priesthood, though officiated and held by worthy, male members of the Church, blesses EVERYONE, regardless of gender.

My plea to those who may be confused by modern revelation or find themselves with conflicting opinions is that they prayerfully ask their Heavenly Father to strengthen their trust in Him. I know from personal experience that we may come to know the truth of all things by the power of the Holy Ghost (see Moroni 10:3-5). God's ways are higher than our ways, and His thoughts are higher than our thoughts (see Isaiah 55:9) and it is, at times, difficult to understand why things are the way that they are. Many times we may think that we know better than a local leader or, apparently, we may sometimes even call the prophet into question. But as we lean not unto our own understanding (see Proverbs 3:5-6) and prayerfully seek the Lord in prayer, he will give us the wisdom and knowledge that we seek, according to His holy will, because he is our Heavenly Father and he wants us to be happy (see James 1:5). As we seek to develop and demonstrate faith in Him (see Mosiah 4:9), even in the most trying, confusing times of our lives, we will find that dependence on God, the Eternal Father, and in His Son, Jesus Christ, and in the Holy Ghost is the one and only way to true and lasting happiness in this life (see Mosiah 2:41).

In closing, I take full responsibility for the words and thoughts expressed in this blog. I completely stand behind my beliefs and the statements I have made, and I hope that, just as those with liberal beliefs which may be contrary to mine would hope that I would be tolerant of their viewpoints, that you will be tolerant of mine. If you have any feedback or questions, feel free to leave them in the comments section below, but I ask that you please be courteous and polite to me and others, regardless of our genders or beliefs, as you do so. There is never any harm in a little civilized discussion. Thank you.

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To view an article by the Deseret News about the Ordain Women movement and the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints' official response, click here.

To learn more about what Mormons actually do believe, click here.