Call it what you will - today is a day that goes by many names: National Ferris Wheel Day, National Organ Donor Day, Valentine's Day, Singles Awareness Day... For the sake of *gasp* political correctness, I shall simply say, "Happy February 14th to you all."
I'd actually like to talk about that for a second. "Singles Awareness Day," I mean. Quite frankly, that term really bugs me. It was cute and a little funny for the first couple years that I heard people using it, but now, in my opinion, I find that name to be a bit pathetic. Let me explain.
I don't think I'd take much of an issue with it if "singles awareness" was, like, "Hey, guys/ladies! I'm single! Somebody come ask me on a date!" However, I don't believe that's the way people use that nickname these days. No, no. I think "singles awareness" is used more to connotate something along the lines of, "I'm single and hate dating and I'm not doing anything to change it. I'm going to sit here, barricade myself inside, ignore my phone and watch TV for 24 hours, in hopes that no one of the opposite gender talks to me. ...Because I'm single."
Lame.
Contrary to popular belief by some of my generation, if you don't agree with something, you actually don't have to throw a fit about it every single time. Just because many people around you are out having a good time and you're not doesn't mean you're a loser. Just because don't have a significant other doesn't mean you have to throw an anti-social hissy fit and act like you've been diagnosed with clinical depression. You can still have a perfectly normal evening without whining about your relationship status. It's just one day a year. Suck it up. Be strong. You can do it.
Also, another thing to keep in mind is that, as far as I'm concerned, when I see a girl post a whiny "singles awareness" status on Facebook, it never crosses my mind to think, "Wow. What an attractive thing to say. I really want to date this chick."
You know, it seems that Valentine's Day haters are actually right about one thing - cynicism about "Singles Awareness Day" is S.A.D.
I've gotten a lot of dating advice in the past decade. Although some of it has been helpful, the majority of suggestions I receive are total garbage, including (but not limited to) this little gem: "It's ok! You'll find someone as soon as you stop trying so hard!"
Nonsense.
If I've learned anything in my illustrious dating career, it's that if I ain't trying, ain't nobody trying. The moment I give up on dating is the moment my progress comes to a complete halt. If anyone has a reason to complain about dating, it's me. I've been through a lot of crap because of dating, including recently - it's well-documented - and, admittedly, I haven't had much forward progress in the past few years. But at least I'm consciously working on it (believe it or not).
I love this quote from Elder Marvin J. Ashton:
"Set your goals - without goals you cannot measure your progress. But don't become frustrated because there are no obvious victories. Remind yourself that striving can be more important than arriving."
Here's a thought: would observers of the so-called "Singles Awareness Day" be happier if they were in a relationship just for the relationship's sake? Is that what they're depressed about? They just want to be in a relationship, period? If that's the case, I'm sure many single people could head on out there and find some crazy person who would desperately love to get married next weekend, but that's not the goal (I think). The goal is not just to get married. It's to find somebody who you see a future with, that you can spend my life with - not just somebody to send you chocolates for a single, solitary night in mid-February.
Here's a quote from author Julia Quinn:
"Don't settle. Know what you want and reach for it. And if you don't know what you want, be patient."
Today is Valentine's Day, whether we like it or not. I'm not celebrating Valentine's Day or Singles Awareness Day, and you know what? Life goes on. I'll be just fine. Today is also Tuesday, and that's something we can all get behind.
If you're in a relationship, good for you. Go out and enjoy yourself. If you're single, don't complain about it. It's not a good look for you - and guess what? There are much worse things in life.
In closing, be positive. Look on the bright side. Stop worrying so much and stop complaining. For heaven's sake, if you're single, please don't go riot tonight and throw rocks through the windows of a local Starbucks... because that would just be ridiculous.
Enjoy this amazing quote from President Gordon B. Hinckley (and take a second to read through
Chapter 3 of this year's
Teachings of the Presidents of the Church manual - it's
sooooo good!):
"There is a terrible ailment of pessimism in the land. It’s almost endemic. ... I come … with a plea that we stop seeking out the storms and enjoy more fully the sunlight. I’m suggesting that we accentuate the positive. I’m asking that we look a little deeper for the good, that we still our voices of insult and sarcasm. ... We have every reason to be optimistic in this world. Tragedy is around, yes. Problems everywhere, yes. But … you can’t, you don’t, build out of pessimism or cynicism. You look with optimism, work with faith, and things happen. Do not despair. Do not give up. Look for the sunlight through the clouds. Opportunities will eventually open to you. Do not let the prophets of gloom endanger your possibilities."
