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Saturday, April 27, 2019

Our Definitive MCU Rankings


In preparation for "Avengers: Endgame," I spent several weeks re-watching movies in the Marvel Cinematic Universe (MCU). While doing so, I re-ranked the films, in order from worst to best. Before we get into that, let me explain a couple things:

Out of the blue, I thought it would be a good idea to watch "Avengers: Age of Ultron" because I hadn't seen it in years. After that, I wanted to watch "Ant-Man" again. Then, a few days later, I re-watched "Captain America: The Winter Soldier." At that point, I figured that I may as well continue to watch the rest of the existing movies to get ready for the re-match with Thanos. One by one, I knocked out the movies in a sporadic, completely illogical order. Looking back on it now, I cannot recall nor explain the logic behind the way I did it. No one may ever know, and for that, I apologize.

I watched or re-watched 18 of the 21 movies that were released before "Endgame," with the following exceptions:

  • I didn't watch "The Incredible Hulk" for reasons that will be explained later in the blog.
  • I didn't re-watch "Ant-Man and the Wasp" because I watched it a couple months ago and didn't feel like another viewing would be necessary before "Endgame."
  • I didn't re-watch "Iron Man 3" because I ran out of time. Also because I hate it. I did, however, watch a nine-minute recap on YouTube, which I consider sufficient to justify its ranking.
Finally, let me point out a couple other things:
  • Just because I gave a movie a low ranking doesn't mean it's not good. Marvel put out 21 movies prior to "Endgame" and there literally isn't room for all of them in the top five.
  • Just because a movie is funny doesn't mean it's good. If humor was a major factor in my rankings, "Guardians of the Galaxy" and "Ant-Man" would be at the top of the list, but comedy alone was not justification for me to move a film up on the list.
  • I considered the films' overall impact on the "big picture" of the MCU as an indication of how highly they should be ranked. Look no further than "Ant-Man and the Wasp" and "Spider-man Homecoming," which are both "good" movies but just aren't that important in relation to the "big picture." More on that later.
  • Social and cultural pressures did not sway my rankings. In particular, "Black Panther" and "Captain Marvel" both came with overwhelming, considerably divisive baggage regarding diversity in film making (i.e., "If you don't like this movie, you're a racist/sexist," etc.). The race and/or gender of the characters in all of these movies did not affect where I ranked them.

If you have any additional questions about how or why I decided upon these final rankings the way that I did, I'd be glad to discuss them with you. In the end, I feel confident in my choices and believe that I have valid reasoning behind all of them.

Finally, it is presumed that by continuing to read past this point in the post, you have either seen all of the Marvel movies or do not care about major details and plot twists. Consider this your SPOILER ALERT.


With no further ado, I present to you my definitive list of MCU movies, from worst to best, along with a brief explanation of my thought process:

21. The Incredible Hulk (2008)

Technically, this movie is included in the chronological timeline of the MCU. However, it was released right around the time I was getting home from a two-year mission and I never got around to seeing it in theaters. In fact, I never got around to seeing it at all. Why, you ask?

Because this movie starred Edward Norton, who Marvel subsequently replaced by casting Mark Ruffalo as Bruce Banner, never addressing the fact that a different actor previously played the same character ever again, which, in my mind, makes Norton's Hulk seem totally obsolete.

I treat this movie as if it doesn't exist, have ranked it accordingly and believe that I'm better off for it. Next!

20. Iron Man 3 (2013)

At the time of its theatrical release, I was really excited to see "Iron Man 3." To say that the movie was a complete and utter disaster would... well, I don't think it would be an exaggeration.

I've got a couple major issues with this movie - not the least of which was that it was a Christmas movie that was released in May. Secondly, there is a huge continuity error called the "Clean Slate Protocol." Remember that - where, at the end of the movie, Tony Stark commands JARVIS to destroy all of his Iron Man suits? Other than a fleeting instance when Tony mentions it in "Civil War," that whole thing appears to have been retconned.

And then there's the biggest problem of all - the most grievous of MCU sins: the Mandarin, as portrayed (or so we thought) by Ben Kingsley. The trailer made him seem AWESOME! Unfortunately, as the movie rolls on, it is revealed that the man we believed to be the Mandarin was some stupid, drunk, soccer-loving actor named Trevor Slattery. Sooooo dumb!!! I don't often get upset in the movie theater, but this swerve was one of the most atrocious things I have ever experienced. Never before had I seen something that not only disappointed me so deeply but also left such a long-lasting stain on a film. To me, this was a completely unforgivable mistake, and I've never been able to get over it.

Everything that happens after that plot twist is just a blur to me. Aldrich Killian (played by Guy Pierce) turns out to be the real Mandarin, War Machine becomes the Iron Patriot, there's a pretty decent scene where Iron Man saves a bunch of people from a plane crash, and Tony initiates the "House Party Protocol" to bring dozens of automated Iron Man suits to defeat Killian. Tony feels that his fascination with being Iron Man is destroying his relationship with Pepper, so, after replacing his internal arc reactor, he wipes the slate clean by destroying most of his equipment.

The largest takeaway here is that the Great Mandarin Debacle of 2013 completely, irreversibly ruined this movie for me, cementing itself as the worst Marvel movie that I actually count as "canon."

By the way, I had forgotten about this post-credits scene, but - my, is it relatable?

Same, Bruce. Same.

19. Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 (2017)

Aside from a great story arc for Yondu (including one of the best quotes ever), the introduction of mind-reading Mantis, and another incredible soundtrack, "Guardians 2" feels like two hours of insults, unnecessary commentary about male anatomy, a shocking amount of truly aggressive laughter and a touch of lighthearted murder; the scene where Rocket Raccoon, Yondu and Baby Groot nonchalantly slaughter an entire ship of minions with smiles on their faces is particularly distressing. This was the first Marvel movie where I thought to myself, "I'm sure glad I didn't bring my little nephews to the theater."

Baby Groot is the major takeaway from this movie. Story-wise, we find out a lot about Peter Quill's family - that is, we learn that his father is a sex-crazed alien who put a tumor in his mother's head. That's pretty messed up. Perhaps the only noteworthy thing that occurs during this entire film is that we see some development in the sibling rivalry between Gamora and Nebula. Nebula eventually decides to join the Guardians in the fight against Thanos. Woo hoo.

By and large, we've got ourselves a pretty unremarkable and inconsequential sequel.


18. Iron Man 2 (2010)

The first true sequel of the MCU can be summed up thusly: Tony upgrades his arc reactor, we meet Black Widow and War Machine suits up for the first time. The villain, Whiplash, looks like a boss in that Indy car race scene, but ultimately devolves into an upgraded version of Iron Monger from "Iron Man 1." 

Seeing Don Cheadle replace Terrence Howard (the original James Rhodes) is visually jarring; they look nothing alike, but viewers are tasked with accepting the switch at face value, which is exactly what Marvel did with the Bruce Banner character. Very strange.

Another nit-pick about Early-MCU casting: after you've seen a couple other movies, realizing that Howard Stark has been portrayed by three separate, very different-looking actors (Dominic CooperJohn Slattery and Gerard Sanders) is mind-boggling.

Other observations: Black Widow and War Machine each have their best fight scenes of any MCU movie. One thing that I didn't remember is that the senator who infamously whispers, "Hail HYDRA," in "Civil War" is extremely prominent in this movie. Those guys infiltrated the government early on and we had no idea until years later.


17. Thor (2011)

I saw "Thor" reluctantly - in the dollar theater, no less - after weeks and weeks of hearing grown women gush about how attractive Chris Hemsworth was with his shirt off. (Don't get me started about that double-standard.) The movie wasn't terrible, and the otherworldly scenes in Asgard were definitely a change of pace, compared to the earlier, Earth-bound Marvel films, but the Thor origin... the... "Thorigin"... didn't quite live up to the hype that surrounded it. Thanks, ladies.

"Thor" succeeds as a sort of fish-out-of-water tale, with the banished God of Thunder struggling to understand life (and manners) on Earth. It also gives us the tragic backstory of the Asgardian Trickster, Loki, who still stands as one of the top two or three villains in the entire MCU. Hemsworth and Tom Hiddleston (who look like little babies in this movie!!) have great chemistry together, but Thor is an unlikable jerk for half of the film and, aside from that duo, character development falls flat across the board. The "Warriors Three" (who? - exactly) and Sif feel completely irrelevant, Natalie Portman does nothing for me as Jane Foster, Agent Coulson still feels like little more than an irritant, and Hawkeye's MCU debut is so minuscule that I completely forgot that it happened in this movie.

If all you can remember about "Thor" is a bunch of people trying to pull Mjolnir out of a crater, and something about a gigantic robotic furnace monster in the middle of New Mexico, well... yeah, that sounds about right.

  • Loki Death Tracker: 1


16. Ant-Man and the Wasp (2018)

The first post-"Infinity War" film brought with it one massive question: how did Thanos' snap affect Scott Lang and company? The answer doesn't come until the mid-credits stinger, during which, Hank Pym and Janet and Hope Van Dyne turn to dust, leaving Ant-Man adrift in the Quantum Realm without viable means of rescue.

That's pretty much all you need to know (for now). Whether the villain, Ghost, or Lawrence Fishburn's Bill Foster come back into play in the future remains to be seen. Paul Rudd is still hilarious and Evangeline Lilly is a better fit for The Wasp than I initially thought she'd be. Luis and his pals are back, and just as funny as they were in "Ant-Man."

This is a fun movie, certainly, giving us another comedy-fueled heist and presenting a couple new characters, but it's a movie I wouldn't recommend sitting down to re-watch before "Endgame."

15. Thor: Ragnarok (2017)

Let's get the important things out of the way: Thor gets awesome, totally incredible new powers.The Hulk is back. Thor loses an eye. Mjolnir gets obliterated. Korg was hilarious. The Matt Damon cameo was a funny. Asgard gets destroyed. Loki becomes a good guy (again, sort of) for like 15 minutes, although it is heavily implied that he steals the Tesseract (spoiler: he does). We get Jeff Goldblum in glorious eyeliner.

But since when did Thor turn into an aspiring comedian? Although there are a couple scenes that elicit a laugh, the God of Thunder was way funnier when he stuck to smashing coffee mugs. It is such a sharp departure from his personality in his previous MCU appearances. Is he funny? Yes. Does it feel natural? Not hardly.

So many of the jokes in "Ragnarok" feel forced. The two main offenders are the scene where Thor throws a ball and it bounces off the wall and hits him in the face, and that part toward the end where Bruce Banner jumps out of the spaceship and belly flops on the Bifrost. Slapstick comedy just doesn't feel like a good fit for the "Thor" movies. We've already got the Guardians of the Galaxy and Ant-Man. We don't need any more goofballs.

Plus, all the anatomy jokes about were cheap and unfunny. Stranger still is the notion that anytime anyone says something dirty, the other characters feel the need to repeat the line back multiple times. (Go back and watch for yourselves. It's true.) We heard you the first time, guys.

My biggest problem with this movie is that the trailer gave away a couple really big surprises. Namely, the preview shows that Hela crushes Mjolnir and that entire scene where Thor fights Hulk in the Grandmaster's arena was completely given away. Both of those scenes would have been major shockers if Marvel could have kept them secret.

"YES! We know each other! He's a friend from work!" That part should have been hilarious in theaters. Because I'd already seen it online 20 times, it wasn't funny at all.


14. Thor: The Dark World (2013)

I can count the number of people who have told me that they like "Thor 2" on both hands. But I'm here to contend that it is actually the best installment of the "Thor" trilogy.

Sure, the Dark Elves are lame. Yeah, it features way too much Jane Foster. Of course, there are those awkward scenes with Dr. Selvig running around at Stonehenge. Admittedly, that stuff isn't great.

But "The Dark World" is, far and away, Tom Hiddleston's best performance as Loki. It's also genuinely and casually funny, without willfully beating viewers over the head with humor like "Ragnarok." Plus, that Captain America cameo is legitimately hilarious.

There's some good, old fashioned family drama - most notably the death of Thor's mother. The cosmic "Convergence" and the looming threat of a powerful weapon called the Aether give us our first knowledge of the Infinity Stones.

The mid-credits scene introduces Benecio Del Toro's wacky portrayal of the Collector, who, for the first time in the MCU discusses the existence of , which would (obviously) become central to Thanos' quest in the Infinity Saga.

  • Loki Death Tracker: 2

13. Spider-man: Homecoming (2017)

I was hesitant to get yet another Spider-man reboot. Heaven only knows what I would have done if I had to suffer through a third origin story or watch Uncle Ben die again. Thankfully, "Homecoming" spared us the spider bite and pumped out a pretty good story without having to hold our hand along the way. Tom Holland isn't Tobey Maguire or Andrew Garfield - and there are pros and cons to that - but he does a good job of giving us a similar but unique take on Peter Parker. If nothing else, he proved that Spider-man movies can still be enjoyable.

After putting a surprisingly cool spin on a classic character, Michael Keaton's take on Vulture winds up settling in as, arguably, one of the top three or four villains in the entire MCU (along with Loki, Thanos and Killmonger).

The Spider-man stand-alone film another movie that I wouldn't deem "essential viewing" when ramping up for movies like "Infinity War" or "Endgame." All you really need to know is that Peter and Tony Stark have a really close relationship. Other than that, what did we get? Ned, who was kind of funny. A young Aunt May, who Marvel really, really wants us to think is hot. A lame revelation at the end of the movie that the rude Hispanic girl is apparently the MCU's "MJ." And a lot of crude references to male anatomy (again, totally unnecessary).

12. Captain America: The First Avenger (2011)

Set to one of the more underrated musical scores of the MCU, this is the underdog tale of Skinny Steve, a true American hero. And what makes Captain America's origin story so special? Well, he "knocked out Adolf Hitler over 200 times," for one. You can never go wrong with beating up Nazis. Indeed, he is the "Star-Spangled Man with a Plan," going from lovable loser to movie star to bonafide super-stud, all in the span of two hours and four minutes.

Because it was set 70 years prior to the Iron Man origin story, this movie feels largely disconnected from current-day MCU movies. It's intentionally old-fashioned - one of Marvel's only true period pieces - and Young Steve Rogers has come a long way to develop into the man who stood toe-to-toe with Thanos.

'Twas the beginning of a will-they/won't-they romance between Cap and Peggy Carter and a bromance with Bucky Barnes... But the Steve-and-Peggy thing literally gets lost in time, and Bucky never truly fells important until he returns - presumably from the dead - in "Captain America: The Winter Soldier."

Back in 2011, I didn't totally understand what Marvel was building with the MCU. Now, I realize that "The First Avenger" has its fingerprints all over the Avengers saga. For instance, HYDRA's infiltration of SHIELD was the basis for "Winter Soldier" and totally re-shaped (and vastly improved) the TV series "Agents of SHIELD." It has also been nice to see Cap-1 Easter eggs like Red Skull's surprising appearance in "Infinity War" paying dividends nearly a decade later.

All in all, this isn't a movie that many people look back on as being one of the bright spots in the MUC, but it was a decent way to kick off (unquestionably) the best Marvel trilogy.

Additional note: there are some really great actors in this movie. Stanley Tucci. Hugo Weaving. Tommy Lee Jones!

11. Avengers: Age of Ultron (2015)

Though overshadowed by the other "Avengers" movies, closer analysis and a fresh reassessment of "Age of Ultron" confirms that it is a pivotal piece of storytelling in the broader spectrum of the MCU.

After re-watching "Ultron," I realized how much important stuff happens during its two hour, 21-minute run time, and I've bumped this movie up five spots from my initial rough draft. Most importantly, it introduces Vision, lays the groundwork for "Civil War" and gives us a clearer understanding of the Infinity Stones. But it also produces the hilarious hammer-lifting scene, the Hulk vs Hulkbuster fight and the Battle of Sokovia (which is actually quite good). Looking back, this movie stands as a "mile marker" for the Infinity War arc, several movies down the road.

Other memorable moments: We learn about Captain America's affinity for clean language, get an adorable look into Hawkeye's personal life and are left with cliffhangers regarding the whereabouts of Thor and the Incredible Hulk, whose absence would be felt for the next couple team-up movies before being reunited in "Thor: Ragnarok."

On the other hand, the movie was marred by a couple notable criticisms: two absolutely terrible Russian accents; the dumb, out-of-the-blue romance between Hulk and Black Widow; and the inclusion a less-cool version of a character (Quicksilver) that had been introduced to the X-Men franchise in "Days of Future Past" just a year earlier. Ultron is a sleek-looking and physically imposing villain, but his sarcasm is a bit grating, and much of the dialogue (by Ultron and others) during the final 30 minutes gets really corny. Really bad.

From a big-picture standpoint, there is just so much going on in "Age of Ultron" that it's hard to keep everything straight, which is likely why I ranked it so much lower before watching it again recently. (For instance, I was surprised that other storylines kept us from meeting Vision until an hour and a half into the film.)

10. Black Panther (2018)

"Black Panther" is, tonally and stylistically, a much different movie than any of its predecessors. Set primarily in the hidden jungles of Wakanda, the movie provides more insight into T'Challa's reluctant rise to power, after he was vaguely and hurriedly introduced in "Civil War." Highlights include the gladiatorial fight scenes, Shuri's James Bond-like gadgets and Michael B. Jordan's Killmonger. The movie also catapulted Chadwick Boseman to "cultural icon" status. Finding out that Killmonger was a potential heir to the throne - and the ramifications of that knowledge - was a good twist. "Hey, Auntie."

A relatively popular (and legitimate) complaint about "Black Panther" is that the final fight between T'Challa and Killmonger looks like a cut scene from a video game. Upon further review, I can validate these concerns; there is a lot of CGI in the final 25 minutes. Not all of it looks believable.

Along with being Marvel's most overtly political movie - almost distractingly so - it is also the most polarizing; it brought with it a lot of positive hype (including a "Best Picture" nomination) and a lot of baggage (Rotten Tomatoes review bombing, debates about racism, etc.). Such radical reception on both ends of the spectrum was an unfortunate annoyance and, in the end, besmirched the film's lasting legacy, which is too bad.

"Black Panther" was a perfectly good movie. I enjoyed it and I understand why it was such a massive hit with certain demographics. But, in my opinion, it wasn't even the best Marvel movie of the 2018, let alone a contender for the Oscar for "Best Picture." (For the record, I think "Infinity War" and [the non-MCU] "Into the Spider-verse" were better.)

9. Captain Marvel (2019)

Another polarizing MCU movie was 2019's "Captain Marvel," which drew heavy praise from women and feminists but was much maligned on the Internet by ignorant sexists and mindless idiots. The introduction of Carol Danvers answered a handful of lingering questions following "Infinity War" and was a big step forward toward gender equality in the superhero wing in Hollywood. It featured some good action, was surprisingly funny and (in spite of a couple heavy-handed choices) had a nostalgic '90s-inspired soundtrack.

Brie Larson was terrific in the lead role and this is the most fun Samuel L. Jackson appears to have ever had throughout his numerous appearances as Nick Fury. A surprise twist involving the true motives of the Skrulls, who are typically villains in the comics, was unexpected for many fans who expected an eventual "Secret Wars" storyline, and Ben Mendelsohn seemed to be having a blast playing Talos.

While Captain Marvel and her superpowers will undoubtedly play an integral part in "Endgame," it does kind of feel like odd timing to release her origin story. The first act is a bit confusing as the audience (along with Danvers) struggle to understand who she truly is and what happened to her. There is a lot of stage-setting going on throughout, as well, but this shouldn't be a huge issue in any future "Captain Marvel" sequels.

I have a couple nitpicks about Goose the Flurken (cat): 1) Its fighting style seems almost identical to the way Groot fights in "Guardians 1" - copy-and-paste, almost, and 2) The way Fury loses his eye felt a little pathetic, and it doesn't appear to fit into the continuity of "Winter Soldier," when Fury says, "The last time I trusted somebody, I lost an eye."

Those didn't have any real impact on my enjoyment of the movie. Just observations. Also, Ronan the Accuser is just as lame as I remembered him being.

The mid-credits scene where Carol meets some of the surviving Avengers is awesome. That alone got me the most excited to watch "Endgame."

8. Doctor Strange (2016)

"Doctor Strange" may be the most underrated movie in the MCU, and is possibly my favorite stand-alone origin story so far. It managed to simplify the mystic arts in a way that came off less like an anime adaptation or martial arts movie and more like a blockbuster superhero movie. Benedict Cumberbatch was a big name for Marvel to snag, and he does a tremendous job as the narcissist-turned-sorcerer Stephen Strange, blending the right amount of sarcasm and smarts to go along with the comedic relief provided by his two sidekicks, Wong and his magical cape. Visually, the movie is stunning; the "Inception"-style fights and time-altering CGI provide some of the best special effects of the franchise. The repeated emphasis and close-ups on characters' hands and watches are also a nice touch.

From a religious standpoint, "Doctor Strange" is the most doctrinally accurate film in the MCU, and is the only movie of the bunch that taught me actual life lessons. "Silence your ego and your power will rise." "Death is what gives life meaning." "Arrogance and fear still keep you from learning the simplest and most significant lesson of all[:]... It's not about you." There is some powerful stuff in this dialogue. In fact, I based an entire Elders Quorum lesson around it on the Sunday of opening weekend.

There isn't much wrong with "Doctor Strange," but if I had to nit-pick for flaws, that sequence with Dormammu could come off as confusing and Benedict Cumberbatch's American accent is a bit unnatural. Other than that, it's all pretty good stuff.

7. Ant-Man (2015)

I didn't want to see this movie. I have no shame in admitting that. I thought it sounded utterly stupid. But in some Pavlovian way, Marvel has conditioned many people (myself included) to go out to the movies, regardless of how dumb the premise may seem. I went. I loved it.

I really have to give Marvel props here: they actually got me to believe that miniature super-soldiers would be a viable means of national security. Perhaps even more surprisingly, I liked "Ant-Man" even better the second time I saw it. Because of its relative "stand-alone" nature, this origin story is one that you can watch over and over without having to make a marathon out of it.

"Ant-Man" exceeded my expectations in practically every way. Along with being one of the funniest films in the MCU (rivaled only by "Guardians 1"), I love that it is a heist movie - totally different than any of the MCU movies before it - with a fun original score and the best training montages of any Marvel film to date. The concept of size manipulation made this one of the most imaginative ideas to watch on screen in ages. In many aspects, this is "Honey, I Shrunk the Kids" on steroids. That Thomas the Tank engine stuff is hilarious.

Paul Rudd is tremendous as Scott Lang and Michael Peña slays his scenes as Lang's hysterical sidekick, Luis. Just as surely as the fact that Baskin Robbins always finds out, everybody loves Luis. This also features a nice little (albeit a bit robotic-sounding) cameo from Anthony Mackie's Falcon, who I never mind getting a little extra love, and the post-credits scene foreshadowed the division between Captain America and Iron Man, which would come to fruition in "Civil War."

6. Iron Man (2008)

I don't believe it would be a stretch to call "Iron Man" one of the most important movies made in the past 20 years. At the time, I (and many other moviegoers) knew next-to-nothing about Tony Stark. But this 2008 blockbuster changed the landscape of Hollywood forever. Although the initial Captain America movie was called "The First Avenger," it was really Stark's origin story that set the ball in motion for an entire universe of films - something that had never before been done so successfully. And, as far as origin stories are concerned, this is one of the best ones I can ever remember seeing.

The combination of superhero action and Robert Downey Jr.'s snarky, career-resurrecting performance as the titular character is a blast to watch. Let's face it: Tony Stark is a jerk. But he was a funny, cool jerk with a really cool suit. Over the last decade, RDJ has owned that character so much that it has become impossible to imagine any other actor in that role, similar to what Hugh Jackman did with Wolverine in the X-Men franchise.

I'm not sure whether this is a terribly unpopular take, but I actually liked Terrence Howard as James Rhodes. I had also forgotten that Jeff Bridges plays the partner-turned-villain, Obadiah Stane, which is cool.

Looking back all these years later, it's interesting to see how well the story has aged (and the CGI, for the most part, holds up pretty well until some parts of the final act). Tony and his technology have come a long way.

5. Guardians of the Galaxy (2014)

A tree. A talking raccoon. I didn't think it would work. But, somehow, it did. And it turned out to be one of the best movies of the entire MCU.

"Guardians of the Galaxy" takes Marvel movies deeper into outer space, with a more "alien" feel than the "Thor" trilogy. Set to a rocking soundtrack dubbed, lovingly, "Awesome Mix Vol. 1," "Guardians" manages to string together the origin stories of five ragtag scoundrels in a relatively "brief" two-hour run time. I was hooked from the second Redbone's "Come and Get Your Love" hit.

This movie turned Chris Pratt into a legitimate movie star, successfully integrated a professional wrestler (Dave Bautista) into a major movie (which is not an easy task), and got some viewers to cry using dialogue from a character that literally only knows how to say four words. Pretty great stuff. We learn quite a bit about the Infinity Stones as the Guardians meet the Collector for the first time, which sets up almost every subsequent film in the Thanos storyline. On top of that, "Guardians" is one of the two funniest, most re-watchable movies in the MCU (along with "Ant-Man"). It also produced one of the most memorable scenes of any Marvel movie to date - Star-Lord's "dance-off."

The only major knock on "Guardians" is that Ronan the Accuser ended up being super lame, despite having the name and physical appearance of a kick-butt villain. (He was confirmed to be as bland as I feared him to be after his appearance in "Captain Marvel." Very disappointing.)

  • Groot Death Tracker: 1


4. Captain America: Civil War (2016)

"Civil War," which is essentially "Avengers 2.5," was one of the most anticipated Marvel movies in the MCU. Thankfully, the third installment in the Captain America trilogy lived up to all the hype.

I only have a couple nitpicks. First of all, this is a very long movie. However, it never feels that way because the of the consistent action and thought-provoking plot. "Civil War" was tasked with trying to cram two brand new heroes into an already jam-packed movie, and I'm afraid that Black Panther and Spider-man didn't quite make the impression I was hoping for. It felt like those two were pretty much plopped into the movie and we were expected to fall in love at first sight. For me, it's been a bit slower of a journey with those two, and my stance has softened a quite a bit after seeing "Black Panther" and "Spider-man: Homecoming."

On the positive side, the airport battle scene is so great. I didn't think they'd be able to fully incorporate so many characters into one movie, but I think they did a good job, even when characters like Ant-Man and Peter Parker are really only in the movie for about 15 or 20 minutes.

The "Pick a Side" marketing campaign for this movie was terrific. I was always #TeamCap, all the way, but both sides had valid arguments for their side of the Sokovia Accords debate. Tony did come off as a jerk through most of the movie (what else is new?), so seeing him realize that he was (at least partially) wrong was gratifying. But boy, does that shocking reveal that Bucky killed the Starks pack a punch?

Three final notes: 1) They should have killed off War Machine; it would have really raised the stakes for the in-fighting between characters. 2) In retrospect, this movie is a bit less re-watchable than it used to be, now that we know that all the Avengers are back on the same side. (I realized that I haven't watched "Civil War" in several years.) 3) And finally... God bless Captain America for that helicopter scene.

3. Marvel's The Avengers (2012)

If ever there were one piece of cinema that gave me undeniable chills, it would have to be the iconic "money shot" (shown above). The triumphant theme by Alan Silvestri swells in the background as the camera rotates around the six original heroes, standing in the rubble of New York City streets. The original Avengers had finally assembled. Awesome.

That scene - and this movie, as a whole - changed the future of filmmaking (for better or worse) in many ways. The greatest thing "The Avengers" did back in 2012 was confirm to us that putting that many characters on the screen at the same time was not only possible but that it was indeed as glorious as we hoped. It's a marvel (pun intended) to see what has become possible in the years that followed. Growing up, I never would have thought movies with the magnitude of "Civil War," "Infinity War" and "Endgame" would have been possible back then, but today they are, thanks to the  "Avengers 1."

The Battle of New York is a jaw-dropping spectacle. Everywhere you look, there's something going on - a different hero stepping to the plate, with action on the ground, up the buildings and in the sky. It's an all-out brawl on the grandest of scales and it works magnificently. The build-up from start to finish is also tremendous, as we watch Iron Man and Captain America recruit Thor, later to be joined by Black Widow, Hawkeye and the Incredible Hulk.

One side effect of the final fight is that it gave birth to a string of movies (like the second rebooted "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles" movie and "Suicide Squad," to name only a couple) that involved aliens fighting out of a giant portal in space. It also urged the DC Extended Universe (DCEU) to rush the production of their "Justice League" franchise, which (as much as I hate to admit) stumbled considerably through its first several installments.

Although the Chitauri are another of Marvel's infamous generic, faceless armies, they presented the notion that superhuman threats lurked not only on Earth, but throughout the galaxy, as well. Loki gave the movie a true villain who, despite his utterly non-intimidating physical presence, would go on to establish a long-standing rivalry not just with Thor, but with all of the Earth's Mightiest Heroes for years to come.

2. Captain America: The Winter Soldier (2014)

Dang near perfect.

After re-watching "The Winter Soldier," I found only one tiny thing to complain about: Marvel has a real problem with killing off major characters. They did it for Agent Coulson in "The Avengers." They've done it with Loki numerous times. And they did it in "Winter Soldier" with Nick Fury. Offing Samuel L. Jackson here would have been completely unexpected and really felt profound, but after a couple white-knuckle shootouts, they had Fury revived by SHIELD two-thirds of the way through the movie.

This was a bonafide political thriller, and its consequences were far-reaching; the re-emergence of HYDRA completely altered the course of the TV show "Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D." The relationship between Steve Rogers and Bucky Barnes is deep, complicated and adds an extra layer of complexity to an already solid story. The set pieces are sprawling - from a naval ship to an underground bunker, from a highway chase scene to a fistfight in the sky. Plus, what's not to love about that elevator fight scene? Awesome.

It's far and away Black Widow's best movie. It's not only Falcon's first film but also his strongest outing. The Winter Soldier is one of the best-looking villains of the MCU. And Cap proved himself to be both the hero we all aspire to be and the tough guy we wouldn't want to mess with. The movie, not unlike its main protagonist, stands confidently with the posture and composure of an all-time great, among the best superhero movies ever made.


1. Avengers: Infinity War (2018)

Particularly after having re-watched basically all of the previous MCU films, it is clear within 35 minutes that "Infinity War" tops all the movies that came before it. There are, clearly, some really good Marvel movies that pre-dated "Infinity War," but, as the culmination of 10 years of superhero blockbusters, seeing them all come together on the same screen at the same time with one common goal is incredibly impressive. I remember fearing that they wouldn't be able to fit 20 heroes into the same movie, but "Infinity War" does it in such a way the everybody feels included and nobody really seems to be getting the short end of the stick.

The story puts the pedal to the medal from the get-go, with two major character deaths (Heimdall and Loki) in the very first scene. Thanos is clearly not messing around. And if anyone thought that losing two familiar faces was something to shake a stick at, there were literally FIFTEEN OTHER DEATHS by the time everything was said and done. The conclusion to the Battle of Wakanda is a jaw-dropping twist of epic proportions. Other than "Civil War," this may have been the only movie where audiences can't have felt sure that any characters were safe. Two and a half hours later, against all odds, almost all of the new characters are turned to dust by the Infinity Gauntlet. I am not sure anybody saw that coming.

...which leads me to my only real complaint about this movie.

Prior to "Infinity War," Marvel had been so public about its upcoming movie schedule and the contract negotiations of the actors that the initial shock of Thanos' "Snap" wore off even before the lights came back up in the theater. I was completely stunned - for about two minutes, at which time I realized that Marvel had already verbally confirmed their intended production for sequels to "Guardians of the Galaxy," "Black Panther," "Doctor Strange" and "Spider-man." It was perfectly safe to assume at the time that these characters would all somehow get resurrected during "Endgame."

But with that gripe set aside, there are many really great things about this movie. Thanos, who we had never really gotten a great, extended look at, improved by leaps and bounds. He's a sympathetic character, but he's also so easy to hate. He just sucks - not because he's lame, but because he's so powerful that he wiped out half the population - and half of our beloved heroes - with a snap of his fingers. His possession of all six Infinity Stones makes the odds seem truly insurmountable - a feeling that Avengers fans were not accustomed to in any of the movies leading up to this confrontation.

The Red Skull reveal is brilliant. We'd all long since forgotten about Captain America's old nemesis, so seeing him show up half way through the movie is indeed a surprise.

The fight scenes are great. The set pieces are wonderful, from the Sanctum Sanctorum to that train station in Scotland, and from the battlefield in Wakanda to the far reaches of space. Such a variety of locales further impress the vast reaches of the Infinity War. Truly, this feels like a global event with universal consequences.

Finally, the development and character progression of the Avengers is on full display in "Infinity War." I don't believe there is a cooler version of Tony Stark than the one we get here. Thor goes from a babyfaced demigod to a thunder-toting baller. Captain America has a beard. Black Panther is finally fighting on the right side. Spider-man has had a movie and a half to figure out his abilities. And is there anybody who improved more greatly than Doctor Strange? Seeing so many of these characters in their prime, teaming up with each other, is an absolute blast from start to devastating finish.

  • Loki Death Tracker: 3
  • Groot Death Tracker: 2


***

There you have it! What did I get right? What did I get wrong? Surely, I've offended a few people in this process. I'd love to debate you.

Keep in mind that I saw "Endgame" on opening night, but I'm not quite ready to put that in my rankings yet. I'll need to watch it again before I decide where to place it.

Let me know how your own rankings stack up to mine in the comments section below.

Thursday, April 18, 2019

Avengers: Pre-Endgame Power Rankings and Predictions

Power Rankings:

Heading into "Avengers: Endgame," I asked co-workers, family, friends and the Internet at large to power rank Earth's Mightiest Heroes. I created two "Power Ranking" polls - one to rank the characters by overall strength and importance, and the other to place the characters in order, from favorite to least favorite. Thirty-five people, myself included, were kind enough to participate.

To help explain how the power rankings were determined, please consider the following points:
1) Votes were weighted by a points system tied to the overall rank. Twelve points were awarded for a 1st Place vote, one point was given for a 12th Place vote, etc. The "Cumulative Rank" listed below was decided by taking the total points received by each character and dividing by the number of respondents (35). It is worth pointing out that this was how a character like Captain America, who received the most 4th Place votes in the Power poll, wound up getting bumped up to 3rd Place in the final standings: the number of 1st, 2nd and 3rd Place votes he received improved his ultimate placement.
2) It is also of note that the Pre-"Infinity War" rankings were based on 20 major heroes that were alive at that point in the MCU timeline. With 11 of those characters getting "snapped" by Thanos at the end of "Infinity War" and three new characters being added to the second poll, the movement shown between the pre-"Infinity War" and pre-"Endgame" surveys may seem somewhat skewed. For instance, War Machine, a perennially disliked character, jumped up eight spots in popularity, in comparison to the last survey, yet remained in last place overall.
Here are the results:



Predictions:

Editor's note: One week after "Endgame" hit theaters, I went through and updated our predictions to show which ones we got right. Obviously, spoilers.

A second survey was created to ask a series of questions regarding predictions, theories and other miscellaneous thoughts before seeing "Avengers: Endgame." Twenty-one people responded. The results and corresponding analysis are as follows:

Who will rescue Tony Stark from Space?


  • 42.9% Captain Marvel
  • 23.8% Himself
  • 14.3% Pepper Potts
  • 9.5% Nebula
  • 9.5% Other
  • 0% Thor
In the first official trailer for "Endgame," Tony Stark is shown, stranded in outer space, sending what could be his final message to Pepper Potts. The majority of respondents believe that he will end up being saved by the newest comic wonder in the MCU, Captain Marvel. 
The second most popular response was that he'll do the most "Tony Stark" thing possible - save himself.
ANSWER: Captain Marvel saved Tony and Nebula from space.

How will Scott Lang escape the Quantum Realm?


  • 61.9% Any other method
  • 38.1% Time travel
In the mid-credits scene for "Ant-Man & the Wasp," Scott Lang is preparing to enter the Quantum Realm. Before he leaves, Janet Van Dyne ominously warns him not to "get sucked into a time vortex." Moments later, Janet, Hank Pym and his daughter Hope get "snapped," leaving Scott without viable means of rescue. However, it appears that those who took my survey believe that Ant-Man is going to somehow find a way back to reality that does not involve the aforementioned time vortexes.
ANSWER: A rat pressed a button in Scott Lang's van to help him escape the Quantum Realm.

Who will be the first character to be resurrected, if any?

  • 52.4% Doctor Strange
  • 19% Gamora
  • 9.5% Nick Fury or Maria Hill
  • 9.5% Vision
  • 1.5% Scarlet Witch
  • 1.5% Other
  • 0% Everybody else that got "snapped"
There are a few good options here. It wouldn't be unreasonable to expect Nick Fury, who organized the Avengers Initiative in the first place and has a close bond with the apparently all-powerful Captain Marvel, to return to the land of the living before all others. It also wouldn't come as a huge surprise for Vision, who literally had an Infinity Stone embedded in his forehead, to discover a way to come back to life. Gamora, Thanos' adopted daughter, has perhaps a more personal reason to be the first character to be revived. But more than half of respondents believe that Doctor Strange, who foresaw all conceivable outcomes of the war against the Mad Titan, will be the recipient of the first on-screen resurrection. Not a bad pick!
ANSWER: Falcon's voice was heard moments before the "snapped" characters were resurrected.

Is Loki permanently dead?

  • 52.4% No
  • 47.6% Yes
I mean, Thanos said he was... right? But one of my biggest problems with Marvel is that they seem to have a hard time committing to actual, permanent deaths. Groot has supposedly died twice. Nick Fury was fake-killed in "The Winter Soldier." Agent Coulson was brought back from the dead on "Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D." Loki has already faked his own death on numerous occasions - and Marvel recently announced that the Asgardian Trickster is going to have his own TV show on Disney+. Is it going to be set before "Infinity War," or is Loki going to get resurrected with everybody else, even though he wasn't killed in the snap? Ponderous.
ANSWER: It appears that the Loki we knew in the MCU is permanently dead, although a Loki from another alternate timeline escaped with the Tesseract.

Who is most likely to die in "Endgame"?

  • 57.1% Captain America
  • 33.3% They will all survive
  • 9.5% Iron Man
  • 0% Thor
Captain America's death (or a potential self-sacrifice) seems inevitable... but I don't want to talk about it. Also, apparently nobody fears for Thor's life whatsoever.
ANSWER: Iron Man was the only one of these three characters to die in "Avengers: Endgame."

How many major characters will (presumably) be dead at the end of the movie?

  • 47.6% 3-5
  • 33.3% 1-2
  • 9.5% None
  • 9.5% More than 5
Pain! Lots of pain! Nearly half of voters believe that between three and five major characters will bite the big one.
ANSWER: Major characters (presumably or unquestionably) dead at the end of "Avengers: Endgame" include Vision, Gamora, Iron Man and Black Widow.

Who will kill Thanos?

  • 57.1% Group effort / Multiple heroes simultaneously
  • 23.8% N/A - Thanos will not die
  • 14.3% Captain America
  • 4.8% Captain Marvel
  • 0% Iron Man
  • 0% Thor
  • 0% Any other individual
Although several heroes have individual motivation to stop the Mad Titan, most of the group believes that killing Thanos will be a group effort, not unlike how the Avengers teamed up at the end of "Age of Ultron." Interestingly, nearly a quarter of respondents believe that, one way or another, Thanos will survive.
ANSWER: Iron Man killed Thanos and his army by snapping his fingers while possessing the Infinity Stones. Earlier in the movie, Thor killed the original Thanos at his garden hut.

Where will the killing blow to Thanos be dealt?

  • 38.1% Anywhere else
  • 33.3% The head
  • 28.6% N/A - Thanos will not die
All right, this math isn't adding up. More voters said that Thanos would survive in this question than in the last one. Who's flip-flopping? Nevertheless, two-thirds of respondents believe that the Avengers will either disregard or fail to follow through on Thanos' cynical advice from "Infinity War," when he told Thor, "You should've gone for the head."
ANSWER:  Thanos' first death in the movie comes via decapitation. Thor went for the head. At the end of the movie, Thanos is killed via the Infinity Stones.

Assuming that these characters are still alive at the end of the movie, who should be the leader of the Avengers?


  • 33.3% Captain Marvel
  • 19% Captain America
  • 19% Doctor Strange
  • 14.3% Thor
  • 4.8% Black Panther
  • 4.8% Black Widow
  • 4.8% Iron Man
  • 0% Bucky Barnes
  • 0% The Guardians of the Galaxy
  • 0% Other
If Cap survives, there is a contingent of fans that want him to remain the leader of Earth's Mightiest Heroes. But a shake-up could also be in the works, and there are many who would like to see Captain Marvel or Doctor Strange take the reigns. For the sake of marketing and diversity, Carol Danvers is the obvious choice, but time will tell.
ANSWER: Although he is not specifically named the leader of the Avengers, it can be assumed that Sam Wilson (Falcon) will take on a prominent role in future movies as the new Captain America.

(Select all that apply) Will the movie's post-credits scenes:


Three hours later, we may not be able to handle any more drama, so it could be highly likely that Marvel treats us to another Shawarma scene or oddball cameo like Howard the Duck. It would also be the perfect opportunity to tease the post-Infinity Saga future or introduce a "bigger fish" or tease that someone we thought was dead, in fact, is not (please no).
ANSWER: There were no post-credits scenes. 

(Optional) Make a bold prediction or "hot take" in 1-2 sentences.

  • Aaron Christensen: "The Avengers make their own Infinity Gauntlet with the extra one shown briefly at the forge in 'Infinity War.'"
  • Riley Gisseman: "Killing Thanos is a group effort, but Gamora puts in the final blow, saying, 'I'm sorry,' while she does it."
  • Thomas Batts: "Bold prediction! Thanos snaps himself."
  • Marcus Craig: "Ant-Man will be most essential in disarming Thanos."
  • Jonathan Blackham: "The surviving Avengers will have to sacrifice/trade themselves for the other Avengers who died. We can't have them all back. (Bucky or Captain America, Star or Spiderman, Rocket or Groot, War Machine or Falcon, Thor for Loki, etc.)"
  • Suzzanne Bailey: "The original Avengers that survive will probably continue to appear in future movies, but largely in an advisory capacity. Doctor Strange will take all of the credit for beating Thanos, even though he wasn't there to help, because he saw all of the possible outcomes and made it happen."
  • Mickael Stevens: "Galactus will be revealed during the movie."
  • Cole Morgan: "Gamora is coming back."
  • Robin Green: "The cat [Goose, from 'Captain Marvel'] will be the big hero."
  • Garn Christensen: "They will leave everyone hanging."
  • Braden Pirami: "Cap will use Thor's hammer to stop Thanos."
  • Kevin Savage: "All heroes will come back at one point or another."
  • Scott Aylett: "Thor does not die, but leaves to find a new home with Asgardians who are resurrected."
  • Cody Christensen: "Everyone who 'died' is stuck in the Soul Stone or the Reality Stone. Once the Gauntlet is destroyed, they will all come back to life."

---

There you have it! What do you think? Agree? Disagree? Have any other theories we should know about? Leave us a comment below or whatever, and we'll meet up to discuss all things "Endgame" in a week or two.

SotT: Underground will return... with more Avengers blogs.

Monday, April 8, 2019

WrestleMania 35 recap and review


It's that time of year again! I watched WrestleMania 35 so you wouldn't have to! As my yearly public service to you all, I have recapped and graded all of the matches on the main card. I didn't worry about the Pre-show because 1) none of those matches really matter and 2) I have a life and didn't have the opportunity to sit in front of the TV watching grown men and women in spandex risk their lives for seven and a half hours today. I could only afford five and a half. Sorry.

If you need a reminder about what my predictions were, check out my blog from a couple days ago by clicking on this little hyperlink right here!

On we go!

Pre-show:

Tony Nese def. Buddy Murphy to become the Cruiserweight Champion

  • SotT Prediction: Buddy Murphy

Carmella wins the WrestleMania Women's Battle Royal

  • SotT Prediction: Lacey Evans (did not compete)

Curt Hawkins & Zack Ryder def. The Revival for the RAW Tag Team Championship

  • SotT Prediction: Hawkins & Ryder

Braun Strowman wins the André the Giant Memorial Battle Royal

  • SotT Prediction: Braun Strowman


Main Card:


Seth Rollins def. Brock Lesnar for the WWE Universal Championship

  • SotT Prediction: Brock Lesnar
  • Recap: The Beast Incarnate wasted little time to begin his beatdown of the self-proclaimed Beast Slayer, jumping Rollins before the match could officially get underway. Once the bell was finally run, Lesnar took Rollins straight to Suplex City, with a trio of German suplexes. Welts and cuts covered Rollins' back. When a bump sent the referee flying out of the ring, Rollins hit Lesnar with a low blow, leading to three Curb Stomps and a pinfall. That's right, ladies and gentlemen: Seth Rollins is your new WWE Universal Champion.
  • Analysis: It was a quick match (2:30, officially) that spent more time outside the ring than inside, but it was great to kick off the show with a big win for a fan favorite.
  • Grade: B

AJ Styles def. Randy Orton

  • SotT Prediction: Randy Orton
  • Recap: This match started out at what they like to call a "methodical pace," which means that it was pretty slow and boring for quite a while. Eventually, things picked up with Styles nailing a Springboard 450 and Orton responding with a Superplex off the top rope. The crowd randomly started cheering for something that apparently was not happening in the ring (apparently the lighting in the stadium was making it difficult for fans to see the ring), so Orton mocked the crowd and hit an RKO for a two-count. Styles vaulted himself outside of the ring for a Phenomenal Forearm in the midst of a possible count-out. When the action rolled back into the ring, Styles finished off Orton with a second forearm before securing the pinfall victory.
  • Analysis: This wasn't a horrible match, but it started off too slow and the crowd just wasn't into it.
  • Grade: C-

The Usos def. Ricochet & Aleister Black, The Bar and Shinsuke Nakamura & Rusev to retain the Smackdown! Tag Team Championship

  • SotT Prediction: Ricochet & Aleister Black
  • Recap: This bout began with quick tags to make sure that all competitors had a chance to be in the ring, but things really heated up when The Bar were spotlighted with Cesaro performing the King of Swing on Ricochet while Sheamus thumped the chest of literally every other competitor on the outside of the ropes. Another high spot involved a pyramid suplex off the top rope involving all eight men. Ricochet survived largely unscathed and soared through the air for a 630 flip off the top rope, but his pin on Sheamus was broken up. Chaos ensued with a flurry of finishing moves, culminating an a double Flying Use from the Usos, who pinned Sheamus for the win.
  • Analysis: Great stuff. Fast-paced action and certainly a step up from Styles/Orton. Ricochet looked great and all of the teams had some good spots.
  • Grade: B+

Shane McMahon def. The Miz

  • SotT Prediction: Shane McMahon
  • Recap: Mr. Miz made an appearance early on, even entering the ring at one point before being pummeled by Shane. The fight spilled into the crowd and up to the row of international announcers, where The Miz put Shane through a table and knocked him over a barrier, off the roof of a golf cart and down another six feet to the concrete floor below. It was a brutal bump. The two battled their way up to some TV scaffolding, where McMahon kicked out of a Skull Crushing Finale. They climbed up one level higher, where Shane pleaded for mercy - but to no avail. The Miz grabbed his former Co-Bestie and suplexed him off the 15-foot tower to a platform below. McMahon landed on top of The Miz and earned himself the three-count.
  • Analysis: That suplex off the tower was... AWESOME! Shane took some nasty hits up in the bleachers and the ending was terrifically choreographed.
  • Grade: A


The IIconics def. The Boss 'n' Hug Connection (Bayley and Sasha Banks), The Divas of Doom (Beth Phoenix and Natalya) and Nia Jax & Tamina to win the Women's Tag Team Championship

  • SotT Prediction: The IIconics
  • Recap: It's always hard to follow up a show-stopper like The Miz and Shane put on, so it felt like a natural decline in excitement. Natalya slapping a double Sharpshooter on Sasha and Bayley was nice, though. Beth Phoenix hit a Glam Slam on Bayley from the top rope, but the IIconics made a tag from the outside and snuck in for the pin.
  • Analysis: Not a great match (and Sasha needs to work on that Frog Splash), but there is inevitably one shocking upset every WrestleMania - and WE CALLED IT!!!
  • Grade: C

Kofi Kingston def. Daniel Bryan to become the WWE World Heavyweight Champion

  • SotT Prediction: Kofi Kingston
  • Recap: A back-and-forth affair took a turn in the champion's favor when Kingston missed a dive toward the announce table, taking a toll on Kofi's upper body and face. Bryan gained control and was able to keep the New Day member grounded for several minutes. A reversal-heavy stretch of the match led to several missed Trouble in Paradise attempts and a couple gutty crawls to the ropes while Bryan had Kingston in the Labell Lock. Woods and Big E took out Rowan on the outside of the ring, which gave Kofi an opening to hit his finisher, but Bryan connected with a running knee. Kofi kicked out, however, much to the delight of the WWE Universe. After the two traded face stomps, Kofi finally landed Trouble in Paradise to pick up the win and become the first African-American WWE Champion. The New Day immediately ditched the eco-friendly belt in favor of the standard black, leather title, and the crowd went wild.
  • Analysis: All in all, a very good match. Most importantly, it awarded a guy who has worked his butt off for more than a decade and gave the fans what they've been begging for for months.
  • Grade: A

Samoa Joe def. Rey Mysterio to retain the United States Championship

  • SotT Prediction: Samoa Joe
  • Recap: Well... that was quick. Rey hit a 619, but Joe caught Mysterio's next move and countered into the Coquina Clutch to end the match almost as soon as it started.
  • Analysis: Squash match.
  • Grade: F


Roman Reigns def. Drew McIntyre

  • SotT Prediction: Roman Reigns
  • Recap: Nothing out of the ordinary here. Reigns hit the Superman Punch and Spear for the win.
  • Analysis: This would have been a pretty good main event on RAW. But it was good to see Roman back in the ring - and to see the fans get behind him for once.
  • Grade: C

John Cena interrupts Elias

  • Recap: John Cena returned as his old "Doctor of Thuganomics" character to slam Elias in a rap battle. I had a feeling Cena might make an appearance tonight, but it's been a while since we got to see the Doc. Nice throwback and some pretty good burns on the mic.
  • Grade: B+

Triple H def. Batista

  • SotT Prediction: Triple H
  • Recap: Great entrances for both guys. Triple H got in some early offense with a toolbox, a steel chain, a folding chair and a couple pairs of pliers - including apparently ripping Batista's nose ring out?! It was a little hard to watch, honestly. Batista's attempt for a Batista Bomb off the steel steps and through an announce table was reversed by The Game, but the announce table didn't break when The Animal landed on it, which always looks painful. One crotch chop later, Triple H ran across the first two announce tables to spear Batista through the third one. Hunter grabbed his trusty sledgehammer from beneath the ring but was met with a spear from Batista when he climbed back into the ring. The Guardian of the Galaxy landed a vintage spinebuster and a Batista Bomb, but Triple H managed to kick out of the subsequent two-count. Batista introduced a set of steps into the ring, but Triple H powerbombed the Animal on top of them, then hit a Pedigree - but Batista kicked out! Ric Flair, who was attacked by Batista weeks ago, emerged from the crowd to give Triple H his sledgehammer, leading to a Superman-Punch-like attack with the foreign object. Pedigree. One, two, three. The Game wins.
  • Analysis: In retrospect, this match was a bit too long - it clocked in as the longest match of the night, at just over 24 minutes. Although the two men looked rusty in some stretches, the bout was much better match than anticipated, and just as brutal as I expected. The interference by Flair was unexpected and a good bit of storytelling. The Game lives to fight another day.
  • Grade: B

Baron Corbin def. Kurt Angle

  • SotT Prediction: Kurt Angle
  • Recap: Angle got in all his classic moves: a German suplex, the Angle Slam, the triple German suplex, the Ankle Lock... But when he missed a moonsault from the top rope, Corbin hit the End of Days and pinned the American hero.
  • Analysis: It was a good showing for Kurt, and he got a nice ovation from the crowd just before missing the moonsault, but this didn't end the way anybody really wanted it to - except for maybe Angle, himself. The sign of the night goes to the guy holding up "You never sucked."
  • Grade: C

"The Demon" Finn Bálor def. Bobby Lashley to become the Intercontinental Champion

  • SotT Prediction: Finn Bálor
  • Recap: This was the point in the night when I realized that I had been watching wrestling non-stop for four and a half hours. WrestleMania is just an incredibly long show. This probably wouldn't be classified as a "squash," but it lasted less than five minutes and Lio Rush didn't even try to break up the pinfall when The Demon hit his finisher off the top rope. Bálor becomes a two-time Intercontinental Champion and we're headed to the main event.
  • Analysis: This was simply a formality - the transfer of a championship from one guy to the other. Whatever. The Demon deserved better.
  • Grade: F

Becky Lynch def. Ronda Rousey and Charlotte Flair to become the RAW and Smackdown! Women's Champion

  • SotT Prediction: Becky Lynch
  • Recap: The offense was fairly evenly distributed throughout the beginning of the match, and also included a decent amount of double-teaming from Charlotte and Becky against Ronda. Becky applied a few submissions, including a turnbuckle-aided armbar on Ronda, which was unique. Ronda took a beating; her leg and elbow were both visibly cut and bleeding. But that didn't stop Charlotte from locking her in a Figure Four leg lock around the turnbuckle. Flair's elbow was also busted open mid-way through the match. With Triple Threat rules in play, it was perfectly legal for Becky to set up a table in the middle of the ring. Lynch and Rousey attempted to counter a spear to Flair through the table, but the table didn't break, so that was interesting. And then I looked down for a second and missed Becky rolling Ronda up for a three-count. Literally, I looked away for like five seconds and missed it. Perhaps part of the reason why I missed the pin was because, upon instant replay review, Rousey's shoulders were not even close to being down on the mat. Wow.
  • Analysis: Certainly, this was the most underwhelming finish of the night. Thinking back on it, the match was sloppy. The botched table spot. The botched pinfall. It just... wasn't very good. This match had so much potential, but ultimately fell very short of what could have and should have been. The right person won, but it was a confusing, strange and abrupt ending to an otherwise good pay-per-view. "RAW After Mania," you're gonna have some 'splainin' to do!
  • Grade: D

Overall Awards:

  • MVP: Kofi Kingston

    • SotT prediction: Kofi Kingston

  • Rising Star Award: Baron Corbin, apparently?

    • SotT prediction: Ricochet

  • Match of the Night: Daniel Bryan vs Kofi Kingston

    • SotT prediction: Daniel Bryan vs Kofi Kingston
    • Honorable mention: Shane McMahon vs The Miz

  • Surprise of the Night: The IIconics win the Women's Tag Team Championship

    • SotT prediction: The IIconics win the Women's Tag Team Championship
    • Honorable mention: John Cena appears as the Doctor of Thuganomics

  • Most Disappointing Match of the Night: Finn Balor vs Bobby Lashley

    • SotT prediction: AJ Styles vs Randy Orton
    • Honorable mention: Becky Lynch vs Ronda Rousey vs Charlotte Flair

  • Worst Moment of the Night: Baron Corbin def. Kurt Angle

    • SotT prediction: Brock Lesnar def. Seth Rollins
    • Honorable mention: Ref botches the pin count in the main event



The Bottom Line:


  • In the end, WrestleMania 35 was a good show. The right people won, with the exception of Baron Corbin. My picks went 7-5 on the main card (not TERRIBLE) and 9-7 overall. The show didn't seem as long as it has been in past years until there were only two fights left, which, again, isn't bad.

Overall Grade: B+


What did you think? Did you watch? Did you even read this blog? If you've got any thoughts, we'd love to hear them. Either way, in the immortal words of Mick Foley, "Have a nice day!"