Before we get to the results of Round 1, remember that a full breakdown of teams, characters, strengths and weaknesses (including updated images) can be seen by clicking here.
Round 1 Results:
The first round of our Apocalypse Showdown is in the books, and it was a real barn-burner, with a couple match-ups going right down to the wire! The action from the first four match-ups sent shock waves through the battleground, with ramifications that will be felt all the way through the semi-finals and championship round. Let's take a look at the results.
Match-up A: Team Manhattan vs Team Deadpool - Turf War @ Golden Gate Bridge
- OBJECTIVE: Be the first team to plant a flag at the top of the bridge.
- STIPULATIONS: The Evil Genius' plan backfires. The Action Star must come up with an alternative. The Wild Card must be the team member that plants the flag. No flight or teleportation allowed.
- ADVANTAGE: Agility
- BONUS POINTS FOR: Violence, Destruction, Mayhem
Frustration abounded to begin this battle, as the
strategies laid out by Lex Luthor and John Doe backfired before either
team could put gears in motion. Each Action Star was able to piece
together an alternate plan for their team. Deadpool's ideas were stupid,
yet simple, and his team was able to gain some momentum - with a maximum amount
of mayhem. We are talking a lot of explosions along the way. Doe was completely cooperative with the plan, despite the inherent disappointment he felt when his original ideas fell flat.
Luthor reluctantly fell in line with Doctor Manhattan's plan, which
involved destroying a good portion of Team Deadpool's turf and having
Loki virtually clone himself as a distraction.
The two Idiots, Nacho Libre and Joey Tribbiani, were of little to no consequence in this match-up. They spent most of the time rough-housing and wrestling each other, much to the annoyance of Nancy Pelosi, who took her copy of Doctor Manhattan's plan and ripped it to shreds in passive-aggressive fury. On the other side, Miss Trunchbull spent the entirety of the fight looking for children, grunting and bench pressing cars.
Meanwhile, Specialist Daryl Dixon perched himself half-way up the bridge, where he could have the best vantage point for taking pot shots at the opposition with his crossbow. Smart Hulk preferred to avoid physical conflict and crouched low behind a pile of rubble and debris, calculating his team's chances of survival.
Loki continued to climb, painstakingly so with each additional step, as Doctor Manhattan kept watch from the far end of his side of the bridge. Luthor called in an air strike, which Deadpool greeted with a wink to the camera, a flurry of profuse profanity and the comedic wave of a white flag. Triumphantly, Loki reached the pinnacle of the scenic overpass, sauntered across a narrow catwalk and stuck an Asgardian flag firmly into its accompanying standard. Victory belonged to Team Manhattan on this day, and they gazed thoughtfully, yet triumphantly, across the bay as they awaited news regarding their second-round opponent.
RESULT: TEAM MANHATTAN DEFEATS TEAM DEADPOOL
Match-up B: Team Kaladin vs Team Superman - Supply Raid @ University Campus/Soccer Stadium
- OBJECTIVE: Raid the university for supplies. Set up a base of operations in the stadium. Launch a successful attack on the other camp.
- STIPULATIONS: Teams must fight off a horde of zombie frat boys. The Idiot refuses to step foot on campus and must remain at the stadium.
- ADVANTAGE: Stealth
- BONUS POINTS FOR: Team loyalty, School spirit
Elsewhere, Team Kaladin breached the walls of the University, thanks to a thoroughly thought-out plan led by Professor Moriarty, whose years of experience in the scholastic field helped him know just where the most valuable supplies would be kept throughout the building. Smartly, Moriarty and Mystique used their cunning to trick Superman into arriving at the wrong school by hacking their opponents' GPS systems, causing a serious delay for the Man of Steel. Thankfully, due to his superhuman speed, Superman was quickly able to correct the issue and arrive at the intended destination without losing too much ground. Upon arrival, expert tracker Bryan Mills led the charge for Team Superman. He had a particular set of skills, you see; he would find the supplies, and he would collect them. Once each team had gathered a sufficient amount of necessities, they made their way back to the Soccer Stadium, where they were greeted by a most unexpected surprise.
A horde of zombie frat boys had breached the southern entrance to the arena and had begun attacking the two enemy bases! The teams had no choice but to work together to take down the undead party animals. With Kaladin Stormblessed and Chuck Norris watching the southeast quadrant and stab-happy Drax and the returning Bryan Mills defending the southwest bleachers, the teams fought in a beautiful symphony of violence to cut down the intruders. Team Kaladin's Idiot, Korg, attempted to assist, but realized that the frat boy he had been fighting was actually already dead, so that wasn't great. Sokka and Mrs. Peacock watched nervously, through the gaps in their fingers, from behind sandbags. Sokka waved a school flag in support, with Mrs. Peacock screaming all the while. Emperor Palpatine floated ominously above the action, zapping his Force Lightning on occasions that he thought would be beneficial to him, while showing his school spirit by cackling, "Do it!" to urge on the fighters.
At long last, the frat boys were defeated. The two teams shared a moment of triumph together, shaking hands and congratulating each other on their successful University raids. But then it dawned on them - there was another objective! They needed to launch a successful attack on the opposing base of operations! They had completely forgotten! At this point, they didn't feel like killing each other, after all they'd been through together. It hardly seemed fair. But just then, at that moment, an explosion erupted from within the fortified tent of Team Kaladin. Panic and terror crossed the face of Kaladin and he realized what had happened. The smoke cleared, a figure emerged. During the battle with the frat boys, one member of Team Superman had been missing in action. He'd slipped away unnoticed. The shadowy frame of the ultimate turncoat, Benedict Arnold appeared. The infamous military mind had infiltrated Team Kaladin's base and blown up their communications devices and radio tower, sneakily securing a Round 1 victory for Team Superman.
RESULT: TEAM SUPERMAN NARROWLY DEFEATS TEAM KALADIN
Match-up C: Team Rambo vs Team Indy - Save a Dying Teammate @ Frozen Lake
- OBJECTIVE: One medical kit lies in the center of the lake. Retrieve it and provide medical aid to The Sacrificial Lamb, who is dying.
- STIPULATIONS: No vehicles or flight abilities can be used. Any form of violence cracks the ice. One member of the team must stay with The Sacrificial Lamb at all times.
- ADVANTAGE: Medical, Agility
- BONUS POINTS FOR: Singing songs from the "Frozen" soundtrack to distract the opponent.
The next match-up took us to a Frozen Lake, where two teams sought medical aid for a perishing team member. The two Sacrificial Lambs, C-3PO and Elizabeth Warren lie on the brink of their respective mortality, along the banks of the water. The struggle to retrieve a single medical kit was on! But the pack was stranded in the center of the lake, and that ice was perilously thin.
One ally from each team decided to stay with their wounded warrior for the duration of the battle. Sensing that his weight would be too great for the fragile surface of the pond, and realizing that the frigid temperatures would work to the detriment of his motors, Megatron angrily stayed with the failed presidential candidate. On the other side of the lake, Luis was incredibly pleased to know that he'd have a captive audience to tell all of his fantastical stories to, so he parked The A-Team Van beside the decommissioned droid and began to recap his latest and greatest tales at breakneck speed.
It only took a moment for the teams to realize that any form of violence caused the ice to crack. This greatly annoyed Rambo and The Joker, both of whom were hoping that their match-up could be won through elaborate gunplay. With the two most violent members of each team effectively sidelined, an unlikely hero emerged: Barney Rubble put his experience with prehistoric environments to good use to lead the way for Team Rambo. Unfortunately, the limited dexterity of his teammates, the elderly Q and the wheelchair-bound Dr. Loveless, crippled his efforts and their progress stalled. Equally perturbing was the fact that Luis ran out of stories to tell C-3PO, causing him to resort to singing songs from "Frozen II" to keep morale up. The sound carried across the lake, and it was incredibly obnoxious.
Working from the other beach, Team Indy methodically inched their way across the lake. Indiana Jones took the initiative, as traversing dangerous spaces was one of his favorite pastimes. Flanked by two quick and agile partners, Catwoman and Ethan Hunt, they made short work of the journey, easily reaching the center of the ice. In elation, The Joker lit the fuse of a stick of dynamite and tossed it into the air. However, he miscalculated the length of the fuse, and the explosive landed on the lake, rolling a few feet inward before blowing up with a loud bang. The rest of Team Indy gasped, in shock that their Evil Genius could do something so careless. Within moments, the surface of the water began to fracture, creating large gaps between miniature icebergs. Catwoman fell momentarily into the chilled resevoir, but the sharp thinking of Indiana Jones came through in the clutch. With a flick of his wrist, he used his bullwhip to pull the feline felon out of the lake safely.
As Team Rambo watched dejectedly from the sidelines, Team Indy hurried to break out the medical kit to save their irritating cyborg friend. To their relief, all it took was some liquid bandages, some nuts and bolts to patch C-3PO back up, practically good as new. It was nothing Agent Hunt hadn't done a million times before. It was a landslide victory for Team Indy in Round 1, but how might the responsibility of lugging around a damaged companion affect them moving forward? Time will tell.
RESULT: TEAM INDY CONVINCINGLY DEFEATS TEAM RAMBO
Match-up D: Team Romanoff vs Team Danvers - Food and Resource Scavenging @ Shopping Mall/Food Truck Lot
- OBJECTIVE: Gather enough supplies to survive one week. Be the first team to steal from the opposing team.
- STIPULATIONS: All mall entrances are protected by gates with advanced locks. The Action Star must befriend a wandering loner.
- ADVANTAGE: Infiltration, Charisma
- BONUS POINTS FOR: Winning a food fight with the opponent.
The last stop on the first round of this apocalyptic tour of destruction was an abandoned Shopping Mall and its adjacent Food Truck Lot, where two super squads squared off for food and resources. The problem was that the resources were inside the mall, and all the entrances were locked. It was a race to get inside the complex, and mechanical masters Olivia Octavius and Angus MacGyver were ready to answer the call. Octavius whipped out some of her patented, high-tech gadgetry to break a lock for her team. Mere seconds behind, MacGyver fashioned a key out of a toothpick, a thread from his flannel shirt and some spittle to unbolt the lock for his gate.
Into the mall rushed Octavius, Wild Card Jayne Cobb and Specialist Jonathan Pine. They gathered supplies from clothing stores, snagged some bartering goods from behind a jewelry counter and grabbed some cash from the tills of mall carts. Cobb made sure to check for any ammunition lying around, but with the way security is in shopping malls these days, he was sorely disappointed. Nearby, Macgyver and his Wild Card Lanfear scrambled to round up frozen food from the food court and melee weapons from the sporting goods department. MacGyver also gathered a few knick-nacks that he thought might come in handy later, including a napkin dispenser, the legs from a wooden stool and the leaves from a fake plant. Meanwhile, Team Danvers' Idiot, Boromir, attempted to explain that one does not simply loot a shopping mall, but to no avail. Each team successfully gathered resources to last them much longer than the prerequisite seven days.
Watching vigilantly outside the mall, Natasha Romanoff, known better by her associates as "Black Widow," knew that she was tasked with befriending a wanderer. She was in luck, for a man who looked to be in his early 20s could be seen a short distance away, muttering to himself. The super-spy approached the man, who appeared to be whining about school being indefinitely cancelled. He was also concerned that he had not seen any of his frat brothers in several days. With a flip of her hair, she explained that she had been in a sorority of sorts, back in the day. She batted her eyelashes at him and told him that everything would be fine. He'd see his friends again soon, she promised. He asked for her number. She gave him a fake, comprised of nine random digits. Then she kissed him on the cheek and sent him on his way. Mission: accomplished.
Bored, Carol Danvers (or "Captain Marvel," as you may know her) sat outside the mall, high atop a food truck. Why her team chose to send a man to do a woman's job was beyond her. Surely, Lanfear could have gotten into the mall alone; why send MacGyver, too? Seemed like a waste. She began target practice, shooting her photon cannon blasts at empty beer bottles across the way. Deadly accurate. In the distance, she heard the roar of an approaching motorcycle. Within moments, a biker had reached the spandex-clad heroine. He was looking for a bite to eat, but Danvers didn't like that one bit. Her team needed this food, and badly. The biker spoke to her in a tone that only a sexist man could - condescending, rude... it made him sound like a pig and reminded her of the time trolls review-bombed her first movie. Disgusting. He mocked her haircut and spit at her feet. With one simple punch, she spun the man's head clean around, knocking him completely unconscious, clinging to life. Then she stole his clothes and his bike, along with all the cash in his pockets. It wasn't quite "befriending" him, but she figured taking all of his earthly possessions was good enough for now.
When she returned to the Food Truck Lot, she found the two Idiots, Jar Jar Binks and Austin Powers conversing with each other. Things started off friendly enough, but when Jar Jar said something that the International Man of Mystery didn't agree with, the shagadelic Brit poked his head inside one of the food trucks, grabbed a days-old apple pie and slung it into the face of the jibberish-spouting Gungan, yelling "YEAH, BABY!" for good measure. Without warning, Rocket Raccoon hopped on top of a dumpster and started spraying ketchup and mustard out of condiment bottles, laughing maniacally as he did so.
It was at this point that the Shopping Mall teams returned with their backpacks, bags and resource crates. They spontaneously dropped the supplies and joined in on the food fight, knowing that the almighty Bonus Points were at large for the team who won this little scuffle. Things were really getting out of hand, when Team Danvers' ghostly Evil Genius, Ruin, appeared, full of rage and bad intentions. Ruin conjured his propensity for metal manipulation and lifted every single food truck into the air. The trucks began swirling ferociously around the frightened competitors. With a ghastly shreik, Ruin sent the vehicles plummeting to the ground. The damage was undeniable. Every single member of both teams was stunned, staggering and physically injured. The air was still, not a sound was being made, aside from the grunting of recovering fighters. Then, out of the silence, came the resounding crack of a whip. All eyes gazed upon the source of the commotion, and when the chaos had settled, Natasha Romanoff and Carol Danvers had no doubt who had arrived. It was none other than Indiana Jones and Team Indy, and they were ready for a fight.
RESULT: TEAM ROMANOFF AND TEAM DANVERS FIGHT TO A DRAW - TO BE CONTINUED IN ROUND 2!
Updated Playoff Brackets:
Round 2 Match-ups:
Match-up A: Team Manhattan vs Team Superman - Strategic Warfare @ Sherwood Forest
- OBJECTIVE: Build a tree house fortress and launch a successful assault on the other team.
- STIPULATIONS: The Specialist must provide the blueprint for the structure. The Evil Genius doesn't like the plan. The Sacrificial Lamb must die.
- ADVANTAGE: Military experience, Construction
- BONUS POINTS FOR: Easily providing or producing fire.
Match-up B: Team Indy vs Team Romanoff vs Team Danvers - The Escape Plan @ Airport
- OBJECTIVE: Be the first team to repair a decommissioned airplane and escape the location.
- STIPULATIONS: Only two members of the team can work on the plane. The Idiot does not understand what's going; one team member must spend the entire battle explaining it to them. The Sacrificial Lamb must die.
- COLLATERAL DAMAGE: C-3PO and every member of Team Romanoff and Team Danvers were injured in Round 1.
- ADVANTAGE: Mechanical, Vehicle expertise
- BONUS POINTS FOR: Hijacking another team's plane.
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Team Overview/Guide: https://sottunderground.blogspot.com/2020/02/underground-fight-club-apocalypse.html
