"Hey, Google: set a timer for 30 minutes."
Let's go.
The Topic:
I think that every single championship on the WWE main roster should change hands this weekend. There is no way that it's going to happen, but I think there is a good argument for every single one of them.
The Intercontinental Championship:
Gunther has been on a monster run lately. So have a few others. It's honestly kind of a recurring theme in WWE right now. And, if history is any indicator, the most obvious time for an unbeatable champion to lose is at WrestleMania. If he's going to lose the belt, this would be the perfect time to do it. Gunther has literally plowed over everyone in his path for months, including the two men he's squaring off against this weekend - Drew McIntyre and Sheamus. Gunther and Sheamus put on a Match of the Year candidate at Clash at the Castle, so there's hope for another instant classic in this upcoming triple threat match. I do think that Gunther retains the title, however, but I think he should drop the strap soon. I just don't know who should be the person to do it, if McIntyre or Sheamus can't get the job done at 'Mania.
The United States Championship:
Austin Theory and Dominik Mysterio are two of the top heels (bad guys) in the company right now - and that's not necessarily a good thing. I truly believe that the fans boo Theory and Dominik because the just plain don't like the dudes. Theory was hand-picked by Vince McMahon to be one of the next big guys in the company, but he's never gotten over with the fans, for whatever reason. Everybody just hates the dude. Perhaps more than any other title match this weekend, the entire WWE Universe will be firmly in the corner of the GOAT John Cena, in hopes that Theory will lose his title and just disappear. Sadly, I don't see any way on earth that Cena actually beats this punk. Cena is too busy with his acting career right now to put on any type of substantial championship run. Plus, I think if Cena were to come back and win a belt, it wouldn't be the US Championship - it would be the Intercontinental tile (making Cena a "Grand Slam" champion) or one of the heavyweight titles (to break Ric Flair's record number of title reigns). Maybe, by some miracle, we see Theory go down this weekend, but I highly doubt it.
Women's Tag Team Championship:
I 100 percent believe that the recent decision to put the women's tag titles on Becky Lynch and Lita a couple weeks ago was to check a box on their already impressive resumes. "What's one thing that Lita hasn't done? Win a tag championship." Boom. Now she's done it. There's nothing more to it than that. It will look great on her during WrestleMania - an event for which the titles aren't even being contested, so there's no way Becky and Lita will lose the belts. Instead of a championship match, we're getting Becky, Lita and Trish Stratus versus Damage CTRL (Bayley, Dakota Kai and Iyo Sky), a match in which I would be shocked to see Bayley & Co. win. WrestleMania is about moments, and having Lita and Trish come back in a "legends" spot will make for a great moment. I would absolutely not be surprised if a returning or debuting tag team won the tag championships during the Raw After 'Mania - a night on which anything can happen, notorious for big returns, shocking twists and huge surprises. Enjoy the title reign while you can, Becky and Lita. There's no chance that it will be a lengthy one.
Smackdown Women's Championship:
I was thinking about it this morning and realized that the build-up for Charlotte Flair defending her championship against the 2023 Women's Royal Rumble winner Rhea Ripley has been exceedingly lackluster. Honestly, most of Rhea's screentime in recent episodes has been with her flanking "Ex-Con Dom" as part of the father/son rivalry leading up to Rey fighting Dominik at 'Mania. Rhea is a beast - often jokingly selected by fans on Twitter as the true leader of her faction, The Judgment Day. I don't think there is anyone even close to Rhea's level right now, with maybe the exception of Bianca Belair. I'm not sure who will end up winning this match, but it wouldn't surprise me to see Charlotte standing tall, as usual. Or maybe Rhea will win and let Charlotte take a few more months of vacation time, only to return and immediately get another title shot on her first night back. Charlotte's number of title victories should come with a huge asterisk because of how brief and largely forgettable most of them have been. Then she just comes right back and jumps to the front of the line every single time. It's annoying. Go, Rhea.
Raw Women's Championship:
Speaking of forgettable rivalries, what is even going on with Bianca Belair versus Asuka? Asuka came back a few weeks ago with a new style of facepaint and she's... sort of bad now? Or is she good? What is the deal? I don't really know. She has tagged a few times with Bianca, which hasn't really painted them as enemies. Asuka is just unpredictable now and likes hitting people with the poison mist (one of the greatest tactics in all of pro wrestling). Anyway, as with Gunther, Bianca has basically beaten everyone on the roster, so she can go take some much-deserved time off and let all the women become relevant again. Asuka hasn't done anything truly remarkable in some time, and giving her some time as the champ would definitely shake things up on Raw, in a good way.
The Unified Tag Team and WWE Championships:
It is time for The Bloodline to end. It has been a legendary, insanely remarkable run. The past three years for Roman Reigns have been unparalleled and, after years and years of being unsuccessfully forced down the WWE Universe's collective throat, he finally made it to the top of the mountain. He has been, far and away, the top dog in all of sports entertainment, and it's been a great ride (for the most part). The Usos have been on a similar trajectory, though never quite as likable (in a love/hate type of way) as the Tribal Chief. The right people are in place to dethrone the family business: Cody Rhodes (an all-time "Suck it, AEW" move) and Kevin Owens and Sami Zayn (hot on the heels of the year of Zayn's career) are absolutely the correct successors, and I will feel so happy for those guys, once they inevitably win the belts this weekend. Roman deserves some time off, for sure. The dude has been through the ringer during the pandemic, and who knows how his health is doing these days (hopefully, fine). The Usos, as with Bianca and Gunther before them, have beaten the whole roster up and down, several times. We've been subjected to the Usos versus the New Day and the Street Profits so many times that there really isn't anything new to be seen. Get the Usos out of there, let some other teams shine for a while, then maybe bring them back in about four to six months for some fresh rivalries. One interesting aspect will be how Roman reacts on Night 2 if the Usos lose their belts on Night 1. Could lead to some interesting moments on Sunday night.
A title shake-up would do the WWE good:
I can't remember the last time there were so many long-standing, tenured champions. Gunther, Bianca and The Bloodline have proven their superiority and, in my opinion, have grown stale. It would be so fun and so rejuvenating to see some new faces with titles. That would open the door to a literal new world of possibilities and match-ups that we haven't seen before. I also think that the decisions to unify the tag titles and major men's championship for both shows (though it made sense for the "Bloodline" story arc) has really minimized the potential of a lot of stars who seemingly haven't had anything to do. I also feel like the women's tag titles have been mishandled in a lot of ways. There are so many other tag teams out there who have never gotten over the hump because either the titles just bounce around between the same couple of teams or the titles just simply haven't been defended enough. It will be interesting to see what WWE decides to do with the unified titles. I think they've got to break them up eventually and get separate titles on Raw and Smackdown, but how will they end up doing that? Will it be the choice of the champion? Will they tell the new champs that they need to start defending the titles separately? It's going to be interesting.
Final thoughts:
Well, I've got about two and a half minutes left on my timer. I think that this weekend is going to be a lot of fun. There are some great matches on the slate and I know that, although it's not a title match, EVERYBODY is going to look forward to Dominik Mysterio getting spanked by his father. Man, that's going to feel good. Anyway, happy WrestleMania weekend to those who celebrate. I'll be tweeting on the official SotT account and will probably have a blog highlighting my top tweets in the next couple of days.
BOOM. With 35 seconds to spare! That's how it's done.
For more WrestleMania fun, follow us on Twitter (here and here), comment below or try your best to look me up on Facebook.
Until next time.
3... 2... 1.
